Life Story Archives - Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Light Into Yourself (Soul vs. Spirit)

When you’re staring at hundreds of candles, you have a chance to see inside your soul. As the individual lights flicker, they eventually blend together into one thought-feeling kaleidoscope piece. That’s what one night at a candlelight concert showed me. And it was a reflection into my lady soul. The sad parts at times. Maybe the Dark Knight part that gets brought up?

The soul is our mind’s will and emotions. It invites in the subconscious whether we like it or not. And the soul reference I hear about is often confused, described, or used interchangeably with the spirit.

…But from my life experiences, the spirit is totally a different place. The heart or gut is closer to the feelings associated. So maybe that helps clear it up better for you too, by body part distinction and feelings.

Spirit is love and peace.

But not always the soul in my experience.

The soul is where the sad thoughts can stir up. It’s sometimes a deep window into who you are when the camera is off or you’re off of work, that’s not always your best self.

…A Former You showing up in the shadows. Or what you’re trying to grow away from, but maybe aren’t ready to grow up yet into.

And when confronted, like I was when watching a candlelit string quartet event, it can be a sobering downer to see life metaphorically flash in front of your eyes, the window into your soul.

There after a few minutes, looking out, everything inside me wasn’t moving like the air in the closed room. The thoughts were trapped and frozen. The opposite feeling of helpful meditation that’s relaxing and inspiring (breathing in new air).

While the mesmerizing light dancing show was happening, it was playing with my soul.

And as minutes went by, I was losing touch of myself like gradual slipping sand, and letting the forces take over… I was feeling smaller. Away from love.

Maybe I was even pouting in the back of the dark room? I don’t know.

I was reminded of distant relationships that didn’t work out as evidenced by my thoughts blending into the candles that represented life. My life.

Time felt warped like the Dali clock.

…But was definitely not standing still.

It was only minutes that went by, and I didn’t know the exact time, or if it mattered at all… as I was swirling further away from my conscious thinking Everyday self.

I felt a sense of longing for the season to end in some ways, and a new one to begin. With subtle hints of progression in areas that were flourishing. But it wasn’t a lost feeling.

Candlelight Experience – A Meditative Trance

In my candlelit concert space staring at a sea of lights, I was deeper in my soul, letting ego thoughts sink in, get fuzzier, and more confused.

My mind was drifting into a mini-meditative trance with eyes open.

Did I blink? I couldn’t tell you.

What if that’s what it’s like for people who lose their memory? Or those who no longer dream about the future? Or people in a form of addiction?

That’s kinda how I imagined it felt.

For an hour, it’s doable and at times enjoyable being transported to this external sensory experience.

But for a longer period of time, like daily life, it would be a present reminder that life is passing by… and it’s possible to tune out of the essence of life… away from feeling alive and fresh oxygen like I was used to.

Admittingly, I’ve never been good with nightclub environments that this venue was in. They were just as popular as today’s beat of the drum when I was adult growing up, where the do-drum repetitive techno beats reverberated.

The minds goes in a mini-coma, apart from self-awareness.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been comfortable or safe in those places, and in that place.

Even though I used to talk myself into liking the idea of it as my friends were going.

And similarly at other experiences like staring into an outside warming bonfire… where the night darkness in the background is casting shadows to the light in the foreground that’s running the show.

Even back in those experiences years earlier, I felt the shadows as cold and negative space. The void could be fear or blindspots I didn’t know about or hadn’t addressed yet. Post-trauma that hadn’t surfaced and healed.

Those light flames showed up as symbols of burning questions left in life that I hadn’t met or crossed yet in life’s discovering journey.

And in those moments, I similarly left my conscious self and glared into the subconscious-thinking blurring abyss…

Where I forgot about my current season and my entire past.

My thoughts were similarly stopped like this at this recent concert I attended.

…Where I felt no identity.

No thought to the work done earlier that day.

And I certainly wasn’t a writer.

Or in a writer’s frame of mind.

The Soul As a Writer

…Which btw, often writers have a tough time calling themselves writers from the get-go. They often hem-and-haw against proclaiming their natural gifted identity role because a clear line hasn’t been established…

A writing certificate or certification hasn’t been earned.

Or no one in the field has personally called them a writer. That’s how it was for me.

I also believe, you’re a writer if you just write. Just like you’re a reader when you read. And an avid reader if you read a lot or the same type of books.

But saying “I’m a writer” for some writers is a professed title that creates anxiety. And staying humble about it until something significant happens is common.

The hesitation I think is in the soul of a writer.

One that I’m now aware about. Lemme explain…

Like many new writers, one day in 2019 I just started writing and that continued into the next few days, until it became consistent.

In my case, it was decades after one college creative writing class I was in, where I wrote my heart out in a paper describing my wild Red Hot Chili Peppers concert experience in my 20s. Where the one reader audience, my professor, expressed in writing that he enjoyed reading my paper.

And before that, I received big red “NO” Sharpie pen marks on my turned-in papers from my senior high school English teacher, where I then concluded math was my strong suit. And that was confirmed by my SAT scores.

I was diverted into using my stronger skillsets in other careers.

But today, decades later I call myself a writer. Why? Because I write. Daily. Weekly. And I have a relationship with the words on the page I write on.

It started one day from my brewing hot tea and burning my finger on a teapot. That led me to writing an article. Which led to another article the next day, and then a writing challenge to myself. And since then I haven’t stopped writing.

And calling myself a writer (even if it was started as an experiment) got me there.

And if you write, you can call yourself a writer when you decide you wannabe… and that’s the best thing you can do for yourself…

It’s an ego booster – in a healthy way!

Even if you’re a blogger: that counts as writing. So does journaling. It’s cathartic and putting words into context gives meaning to your world.

It’s a way to express your thoughts and feelings, and have a voice in what matters to you in this world.

And the sooner a new writer adopts the new role identity, the sooner he/she (you?) writes daily and ends up with more written words at the end of the year.

…Or else will figure out pretty quickly, it may not be right for him/her/you, and that’s totally okay.

It’ll be forgotten soon. With nothing lost. It was just and experience and something to try. Like tasting a new pastry or joining a new group.

But what stops some writers from declaring themselves writers, brings me back to my point in this article (about the soul)…

Which is: writers are often more in tune with their ego thoughts than most out there. That’s a plus in writing and life in general… To be thoughtful.

And to be aware of fear, sad, and dark sides, so you don’t go there unaware.

Writers don’t often want to go there and confront the soul or baring one’s soul experience. It would be equivalent to standing almost naked in front of an audience, and risking lookin’ like a fool.

And pre-mature, the soulful information presenting itself is often muddy and unclear in meaning.

For me, that’s where the meditative concert candles burning showed up.

…Where thoughts were entering fuzzy as one unison (candle art?) piece.

I couldn’t have written then even if I tried. And if I did, that would jinx any clarity on paper. But thankfully I was at a concert, so I was set free to enjoy.

…Which I kinda did, feeling happy and sad at times.

But it’s with those candlelight concert sentiments that I confronted my ego darkness and decided that awareness and spirit is where I belong.

…Where I could clearly see potential regrets of my past that my ego used to protect me from when I didn’t have ego-awareness…

Where maybe I missed some life opportunities that called me in life even though I thought I tried. There were disconnects. “Alignment” wasn’t a word I could form in my mind or send out to the roof of my mouth.

Ego made sure to keep that clear and present danger away from me in its gaslighting ways.

Ego confronted me with failures, that weren’t my fault, but maybe I could’ve said or did something different in those situations.

They’re the raw and vulnerable self thoughts that writers don’t naturally feel comfortable with in writing, but run in the back of the mind. (And maybe why there are so many fiction writers to write about characters outside of themselves?).

And if anyone can get out that pre-first draft junk out, it’s therapeutic.

Vomiting a jumbled mess of thoughts journaled on paper is the start of personal healing.

But keeping thoughts trapped is ego’s trap to regurgitate the same old negative story lines to protect Numero Uno (ego self).

Or leave the writer person outside stuck in writer’s block, staring at a blinking cursor.

That pauses writing altogether. It’s like a perfectionist confronting imperfection head on. Where the result is inaction.

And for a writer, it would be way too sad and possibly real to sign up for that willingly. And hence, hard sometimes to say, “I’m a writer.”

No one would set themselves up for that kind of failure. (Even though that does happen in the process of first draft discoveries. And simply writing out messy thoughts gets you over the hump of overthinking analysis-paralysis.)

But when you get away from the soul (or staring into candles in my case) and let your spirit (heart or gut) guide and take over at least for a little while, you move into loving thoughts and loving-writing possibilities.

You look at the bright side and the you-won’t-know-unless-you-try possibilities, as corny old as that may sound.

…Or whatever the possibilities are of your specific work or purpose is if you’re not a writer.

In spirit love to yourself (that’s an inward solo experience), you assume you have nothing to lose. And everything to gain.

You can crumple up the paper or just hit the trash can button and feel accomplished for typing, as you know it’s getting you closer to bullseye. And you keep going and growing, one page at a time until (not if, but when) it clicks.

Today, I realize being in the present daylight moments, heals what’s lost. It’s being in touch with emotions and thoughts.

Looking back to the concert event as now the past, I see it as a way to bring in more light this season. More love and awareness.

I attended because I had a curiosity. And our need to escape and dull our inward senses is human.

I suppose that’s why people like watching entertainment since the spotlight is not on them.

And when I got on my spotlight yoga mat this week to do deep breathing, I was brought back to appreciating more of what I have (and not focus on what I don’t have without a productive loose plan for change).

I was aware of the in-touch breath, and that the blissful light in each of us has our answers. It also has our love and truth (and our back). It’s always present no matter how we feel that day or when we’re not present (when ego shows up).

It’s wise and insightful for you to get to know all of you (roses, thorns, and roots).

I hope this inspires you in your path this season.

How to Soul Search Life Secrets

How to soul search is something I know a lot about as I’ve been doing it all my adult life with the core question in the back of my mind: what is this life really about?

Because on a deeper level, it’s not about our jobs, relationships or families.

They may consume parts and most of the time in our lives.

But we (you and me) are the most important part of our lives.

Because we’re the only ones we’re responsible for in the end.

And our best life is about our growth journey… and who we become.

A decade from now you won’t care as much about what you did this year compared to who you’ve become 10 years later.

As we grow older, we’ve acquired more earthly proof in our experiences that nothing stays the same and experience impact fades… and we have chances to make big differences with change today and in the years we have left.

For our sake and our planet’s sake.

It’s individually up to us to crack the code of how to optimize this life and find meaning.

And I believe it’s through how to soul search in our lives.

…Because the deeper life answers are here and the mysteries of life are discovered there.

We don’t have to travel anywhere to discover what we need, so each of us has the same opportunity (that has no cost).

The universal core truths of why we’re here have stayed the same, while everything on earth changes.

Today, you’ve figured that out or like every person in every generation that gets to sooner, later, or not if you so choose.

Ultimately it matters because it’s not all up to you or me on how things turn out.

….It’s also not up to our bosses, parents, or anyone else that makes influence in your life even if they’re the loudest in our thoughts.

Then who is it up to?

Figuring out this life’s meaning I argue is the best way… choosing to agree with this life’s terms vs. fighting against it is the happier path of aligned purposed living without regrets along the way.

I was lucky to have discovered these life secrets on my journey and happy to share my how to soul search discoveries with you.

…That mind you, came after making many re-routes I took that helped me form my thoughts.

Because I had none of the answers taught to me growing up or in my 20s getting my feet off the ground, so I had to follow my blind instincts.

And that led me to unchartered wilderness places that would eventually land me into bigger and better places.

All those experiences helped me out and I know the Universe guided me along. I found my spirit before I found how to soul search.

My gut instincts came from an invisible hand giving me the blessed upper-hand in my situations where I was meant to go.

And that’s what’s daily playing out for most of us if we’re paying attention and open to the idea of miracle possibilities and forces greater than ourselves.

But when I was younger, I didn’t know all this.

…I just knew I couldn’t wait to grow up and be on my own.

I relied on the hopes of a better future and if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.

I didn’t have role models other than distant ones in magazines.

I lived on the surface. I never delved deep in my soul.

Then living as a young adult, I discovered everything in my life was wrong…

I had problems in every wheel of balance area of life… from my difficult work struggles, unhealthy and rocky relationships, and financial woes looming over my life that eventually caught up with me.

Those were the buckets that mattered most at that age in my life that I was juggling.

My life was completely off from the happy life I wanted. I was far from knowing how to soul search.

It wasn’t what I would have hoped for life would turn out to be dreaming of freedom as an adult.

…And if any of this hits a chord with you or problems are what you’re going through now, believe that your struggles will make you better and stronger on the other side.

You’ll be better off in your future because of your problems, (after you’ve processed what you went through). You’ll learn about deeper parts of you and how to search the soul.

And if you lean into your wiser soul better-half guide inside you (also guiding your heart), you’ll get your higher calling answers in your life… the better and deeper answers that are not the same ones you started off with or initially fear about daily from the “rational” brain.

Or irrational mind… that not going to help with how to soul search.

Wise soul plans are subtle in thought and can take years in the making to manifest.

When older people tell you that life gets better it’s because they’ve found the better ways of life through life.

And leaning on their confidence, you can gain wisdom and get there sooner rather than later.

I’m grateful my life has turned out that way.

…I felt like I was once a crawling caterpillar that grew into a butterfly. 🦋

But before I got to the life gets better part, my idea of a happy life had to go awry so that I could struggle, survive, and get out of the chrysalis to thrive.

Looking back, I had to go through the process of those messy and tough seasons for my own good and growth to come out another way.

But those early years, I was crushed.

And every year I was sad and hit with the winter blues.

Nothing changed quick enough.

I had no idea what I wanted to do after I graduated college with a business degree (because I liked businesses).

…Even though I was so sure of my marketing major I chose.

But there was a disconnect of real life from the college life bubble of learning theories of economics and how to market goods and run a business.

So like most people, I did the next best thing: I got a job.

And starting with my first career, I had problems at work that I had never heard of before from my friends and peers.

I was isolated because I didn’t know others who worked in the hospitality world (other than the ones that were in the same workplace I was).

In my bubble, a few months after starting I knew there was something wrong when I learned women in my office were harassed.

Made sense why they were all attractive with a Barbie dress code to match.

Then I realized that was me too.

This was decades before #metoo.

It wasn’t too long before I moved on into greener pastures.

I felt like I had made it as a catering manager with a better title and my own office… but it wasn’t long before my dream job landed turned into another work nightmare.

Your work life is only as happy as your relationship with direct bosses. That’s where I ran into troubles.

Those couple of years sitting next to the hotel brand’s bag of signature chocolate chip cookies only made me tougher.

I became a tough cookie even though I stayed soft and chewy outside. 🍪

Shaken by a sudden panic attack one day in my office taught me valuable lessons.

For one, I am not in control of this life.

…And I didn’t have it all together despite what my ego told me.

It took many more years of work experiences to make impressions on my soul, one traumatic event after another…

…from anger management bosses to micromanager and bullying managers.

Working in different toxic corporate management situations, I now know the root cause.

…and it’s the same one at the root of all human problems.

The ego is at the core of all relationship issues, arguments, misperceptions, and people acting out.

Same problem.

Different responses.

Humans aren’t looking eye-to-eye in their mind. It’s like the Tower of Babel where people are suddenly speaking different languages.

But back when I was in the work situations, I didn’t know any better.

I took what came at me at face value to survive and hold the job.

And for decades working in corporate office places, I wore rosy glasses thinking and hoping there were better places out there.

But job after job, I was disappointed.

Good people are there, but the egos show up and dominate.

Some places were downright miserable and the best ones didn’t last.

Everything changed eventually…

And I realized a forever dream job is a myth.

You can stay to retirement and be miserable and luckily I never got that opportunity. I got pivots instead.

Gaining this clarity from many work experiences helped shape my soul and I learned how to soul search from that standpoint.

And leaving the corporate world was my launching pad.

First off, I learned what the soul is…

The soul as witness to life is the part of you and me that is not on the surface.

But it’s not that deep below the surface either.

When you bare your soul, you’re sharing your authentic feelings and thoughts based on our opinions, personality, and interpretations.

Our soul are our deeper thoughts from our mind, will, and emotions that often gets confused with our spirit.

…Or our Spirit.

Our Spirit is a separate ethereal being inside us (and around us inside other people).

Spirit-thoughts are not our generated thoughts, but become our thoughts.

If you’re Christian, you’re familiar with hearing about the Spirit or Holy Spirit… even if you don’t know how that plays a part in your daily life today.

And that’s how it was for me before my spiritual intervention.

…I have enough to say about it now that I could write a book on the topic as someone living a faith-filled life. 😊

But I didn’t start out that way.

I was not born a Christian.

And I didn’t grow up in church.

How To Soul Search From Situations In Your Life

I became God seeking when opportunity arose and problems grew.

That started in those hotel working days in my 20s when I looked down at my body and everything was there.

But inside I knew something was missing…

Years later, I discovered the spirit first that was one way into finding my deeper soul.

Another way that supporting this was never feeling permanently satisfied in life.

So many moves and moons later, I gradually found my soul…

Along with my purpose and daily happiness that came as side gifts. 🎁

They were daily motivational keys 🔑 that unlocked deeper understanding of my soul.

Living a more emotionally and healthy balanced daily life created the growth foundation.

For me, that included lots of healthy sweet food inspiration (like the healthy baking recipes I share on this blog 🍥).

That was around the time my purpose started to shape up.

One day, I dedicated myself to the craft of writing: something I never dreamed of or sought to do before.

And I never stopped.

Balance and purpose were the keys that gave the most satisfaction and clarity to my life.

And those could be for you too…

Trying different things will help you to discover your purpose(s) and maybe some hidden talents along the way.

If you use your today gifts and talents to develop a craft that becomes your practice and purpose, you also develop more useful skills.

All that helps you to align to find your deeper purposes and eventual destiny.

I’m still in the deeper purposes part of life and I look forward to destiny when it’s time. I know it’s there.

And if you don’t know where to start, start with a passion and look at where you spent time in the past you enjoyed or were curious about.

Example: I worked with food as a passion that never died, so it’s no shock that I create and share daily healthy recipes today even though I had no idea I would. That came years later.

Because I didn’t know I would do anything with food outside of the hotels and restaurant life I worked in for a decade.

Purpose and Soul Searching

That’s how purpose works…

You remove the outer self wrapped in pride (a form of ego) and you’re left with purpose.

Purpose is deep and daily happiness allows you to keep productively going and growing.

Then you’re left with a deep satisfied feeling that you often don’t get with life living on other people’s terms.

You’re emotionally freed up and have the headspace to be creative and innovative. Not the busy and anxious go-go-go ego environments of Corporate America.

Then being calm, creative, and satisfied-minded, you can minimize yourself and your needs and wonder more about possibilities.

You get and naturally want to explore more of who you are as a creator and spiritual being.

Feeling more inspired, you can more easily grow your deeper soul and parts inside you that you never knew existed (where there are beyond and abundant possibilities).

…That’s where dreams can manifest into real life.

Plus, more cool stuff in your life.

And remember, that can all start from life problems turned into blessings.

Fourth of July Nostalgia For The Happy Inner Child

Recent Fourth of July 🇺🇸 photo memories in the Cinque Terre via boat ⛴️

When a new season starts, it’s common to feel nostalgia. Seeing spring cherry blossom trees, fall fiery leaves, summer pool floats, serene lakes, and fireflies do this for me. 💬

Those are the common memories I grew up with living in the DC suburbs where July 4th fireworks still fly in star spangle awe over the Nation’s Capitol 🎇

Summer is a time of swinging transition. You can dream of fun memories you can make. And in nostalgia, bring back fond memories that you’ve held onto.

These days we’re all globally connecting with people from around the world. That naturally makes us think more (and are more aware) of places around the globe that we’re not physically in, but imagine in their different time zones, and what their lives could be like. 🌏

For me, working with digital nomads who scoot around the globe 🛹 with a backpack as easily as stepping out the door makes me more grateful for the world I’m in, and to not take life for granted.

They can be on a 12-hour time difference but working in the same synched zone. This brings us together. 👭

Like me in your situations you can realize how you have more similarities than differences with other cultures. Maybe you’ve felt that way from your work or school experiences.

When I was younger, we were world’s apart with no way to connect. But no matter what decade you grew up in, you probably dreamed up adventures. 🚀

I dreamed of going to Alaska from travel photos I had seen in magazines and television. The outdoor Alaskan experience seemed so different than my surrounding reality. And while I never made it to that outdoor nature experience, I did get a taste of international travel just a few years later.

I think of that first European vacation trip as unforgettable because I was just a kid. I haven’t forgotten the Venice gondola ride experience with the musician playing an accordion with soothing romantic melodies, fine dining foods such as spumoni ice cream and a view of a picturesque Swiss lake! That was a great modern Ayurvedic balancing experience especially at such an impressionable age!

And with that nostalgia I can bring back at any time, that serves as a source of calm and good mood change.

And, so then when I went back decades later, it was no less adventurous to see some of the same places with adult eyes.

Some tastes have changed, but some haven’t. And that’s for all of us. We all have those general experiences to celebrate.

And, what does that tell us?

…We’re naturally changing daily and we’re innately the same in our mind and bodies from when we were born. That’s the core of Ayurveda in a nutshell.

And we can see that in our daily experiences and in travel trying new foods and experiencing new languages, countries, and cities.

One city that makes the happiest place in the world list time and time again, is Copenhagen. It’s a strolling city. It’s also a bicycle city. 🚲

And I grew up always riding a bicycle (so that strikes nostalgia)…

The charming architecture and cobblestone street design make the historic European city postcard and travel magazine photo worthy.

Picturesque Nyhavn area of Copenhagen 🇩🇰

When you’re in a calm area like Copenhagen with lots to see, you can think of other nostalgia memories that are in your wheelhouse.

For me, I think of peaceful ocean boardwalk cotton candy 🎡memories.

The peaceful memories mean less stress today, and more joy and happiness.

And if you’re missing that wanderlust feeling in new experiences, you can try this…

Turn on media to watch PBS adventures showing the tropical jungle or the Savannah desert life. Instantly your mind switches to a new gear (and you didn’t need to get any vaccines to experience 😅).

Or, watch the wildlife of Alaska that satisfy my inner child that never made it there. I don’t need to travel there to experience. And when I think of the stress effort it would take to fly there, I’m actually relieved.

And that feeling of relief reduces stress which is always welcomed.

The brain, btw doesn’t know the difference of whether we see a waterfall on our screen or live and in-person. It’s how we choose to interpret the experience.

So believe you do have an immediate say in your mind-body balance! 🧘🏻‍♀️

And that’s why experiencing those great movies, books, and stories you encounter that make you laugh, cry, appreciate, and wonder… are the perfect escapes. 💭

They don’t get the ooh…ahh from your friends, but the memories and nostalgia feelings are just as real, and whenever you recall them.

You may not take an Instagrammable photo… but who cares?

Everything we know about in this world has been photographed and shared. So capturing your photograhic memory is what matters most. 🧠

The most photographed woman in the world you can capture in today’s memory 🧜‍♀️

Some other ways to get those instant happy nostalgia feelings:

You can share about your experience and what you thought in small talk or a book club. Being in community with those you have affinity for not only are feel-good moments, they also help extend our healthy lives.

Another way is to take a streaming voice map tour where you get to experience another place, city, country, or culture from the convenience of your digital device. Maybe you don’t get the full 3-D experience, but you do at least get a 2-D one for a fraction of the price and cost for traveling to another location.

A good goal is to make every day feel special in some way. This could be as simple as turning on those moody jams 🎶

And wherever you are and whatever you’re doing today (and on this SUPER special holiday day), commemorate with a moment of gratitude that you can recall next year in feel-good nostalgia.😊

Happy Fourth of July!! 🇺🇸 Be safe! 🧨

Mindfulness Over Ego For Your Happiness

Mindfulness is awareness. And it’s on the path to your happiness.

Have you ever had a bad dream that set you off for the day?

That’s how I felt early on over the weekend. Despite the dream, I ended the day well in mindfulness with a sweet 2021 Netflix movie, Long Story Short (have you seen it?).

The witty romantic comedy movie has good meaning about appreciating your life and those around you, just in case you’re looking for an uplifting movie. 🎬

But back to where I was…

Before I got to the pillow that same night, most of the day I felt irritated.

The ego in my mind was trying to get the better of me and steal my happiness.

You may know, the unhealthy ego wants to take over you and spin lies in your head (and it tries to make you believe in your mind that anyone who believes that is full of nonsense, in case you’re not aware of your ego just yet).

You can look at a behaving ego as a separate channel that you frequent when you need a healthy dose of self-esteem or a boost of productive motivation.

But most of the time you want to stay clear and reject fiery-ignited ego thoughts running in your background, as its destructive power can get you in a hot mess at its worse.

Like it can be a wildcard as it showed up at this year’s live Oscars where anything can happen.

Or it can leave a bad mood when it’s mild (like I had). And it can show up as an Imposter, and make you think (and made me think): “I’m not enough.”

It will lead you and your life for as long as you’re still under its spell.

I share because I think it helps to know.

And it happens if you’re not carefully aware and just letting thoughts run their course. The way a lot of innocently unaware people operate. And that’s how I used to operate.

But now knowing better, I still had this mood that tried to damage my self-esteem and derail me from being productive.

The robbing ego thoughts just kept at it… so I didn’t write for a day at all as I thought it would be disingenuous writing in this feeling “not enough” Imposter-minded state. And even though I’ve contributed to hundreds of articles and publications, some on Apple news feed with millions of monthly views.

…So what did I do instead? I turned the news on and was humbled in empathy by the sad world news happenings going on.

That lasted a few hours and then the ego gremlins came back, and again I was wrestling with a sour mood.

Par for ego’s course, it even tried to block my taking steps to reach for the healthy restoring Ayurvedic lifestyle things I know to do. Like the ones that work to stop the body from further irritation and moods.

Ego keeps you from taking productive action and even wanting to pray. It detests the idea of mindfulness because then it dies.

And it skips over words and activities that would help you. It wants to keep you down.

This sounds severe, but the reality is this is how a lot of people are these days in brain fog and not knowing what to do (if anything).

It’s hard to snap out of moods immediately, even with an evolved mind like I believe I have now. Plus, it was a sunny day outside. 😊

Specifically, I was hit with that lazy thinking-feeling. You know that mood when you don’t want to do something. But you know if you do, you’ll come out better.

So then I took another step. I could only sit on the couch for so long. I broke out of following my ego-driven thoughts into managed thoughts and read a few paragraphs from A New Earth, a self-help ego book.

That book only makes sense to me now. But years ago it didn’t when I was still processing Eckart Tolle’s earlier book: The Power of Now. A great read by the way.

I align those book lessons to Scripture verses like “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

See, years ago I learned that ego conveniently stands for Edging God Out, but back then hadn’t connected the dots fully.

Those days, seeing out from the lens of ego, I showed up in pride typical of the area I lived in and did not see any regretful situations I was part of or needed to find forgiveness for. Even if they were just hurting me mostly.

Ego talk didn’t resonate with me back then because I was being played by my ego (and most people are with their ego in some way in their lives).

But not today for me. And not this recent time, where I wised up in mindfulness. That came from experience and wisdom even when I didn’t feel it just yet.

Sometimes it can take a day to take effect even when you’re conscious. But, a weekend was longer than I was willing to wait– not wanting to lose a day. 🌈

How To Get Ego Aware In Your Life (From Mindfulness)

Harmful ego shows up invisibly and doesn’t want you to know that your life could be so much better and those around you if the negative filter spin or misperceptions of reality was lifted. It loves being critical and skeptical.

It preys on the weak and vulnerable moments like when you’re too busy, had some kind of trigger, or have a bad dream as I had. The smallest things can set it off.

It’s not a person’s fault. It’s a fault in humans when it has gone bad.

Just remember, ego works its way in at any time, in any thought situation, and in anyone who has a mind.

And I think is the most powerful or dangerous weapon on the planet. That’s billions of us walking around with this running machinery.

Calling it out in the present moment awareness slows the motor. And eventually pulls the plug until it shows up again.

Awareness is the first line of defense.

And it’s in your ability and control to manage.

Finding a simple distraction can be a good way. Taking a walk or shower…

Or meal prepping as a mindfulness break can swing the pendulum back to productive or loving-thought moods. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

And if you believe the next day will be better, it will.

My Next Day…

That’s what happened to me the next day. I wrote in flow. It’s this same flow where the unhealthy ego leaves and creativity emerges. You’ve probably heard of this flow-business or experienced it before in your mindfulness passions or activities…

For me, that’s an hour of writing for what could’ve taken me all day or at least hours.

After the words flow through, it’s pretty much forgotten. That’s part of staying in mindfulness.

And if you’re ever considering writing a book…

That’s also one of the common reasons why it takes so long to publish (…and anyone who has, knows this).

The mind has already moved on to another new topic.

And it took me a year to read over my own work many times agreeing authentically again to the meaning of my flowed through written words, before publishing.

That’s my jam, but if writing isn’t yours, you have other usable, maybe even more fun skills, abilities, and talents. And you can use them productively today living your best for today.

And tomorrow you can question if there is something more important you could be doing in this life. Because in constant mindfulness, and wanting to not waste time, you’re going to live a better life.

Oh, and one final thought on this…

Chef Jose Andres came from being a comfortable foodie restaurant chef and evolved into a humanitarian World Central Kitchen founder.

He’s an example of using a healthy ego for good purposes.

And our healthy ego and pride can do that to motivate us to take the next steps and make good contributions through us in our daily lives.

For all of us, it’s where life leads each of us. And once in a while, reflecting back and being reminded of coincidences and memories to feed the healthy ego. Like I once worked as a marketing manager for a similar Spanish tapas restaurant a few blocks away from Chef Jose’s restaurants (those were the good food days 😋).

And ultimately, it’s not what we do but how we do it and who we become. Life’s a marathon, so don’t worry if you haven’t figured it (or most things) out. Choose to have a healthy mind and believe for good things to work out, and they will.

If you think this blog post was helpful, please share or grab the link and text it to someone else that would find it useful.

Stress Relief and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

I think many people need overall stress relief these days. I’ll share some of my insight on how you can become aware with mindfulness.

People walk around seemingly unaffected but underneath their skin, they are stressed out, anxious, annoyed, or irritated. You know that because of the stress statistics, and because you have shared and felt those same feelings at some point. That makes us human. And, if you live in a city or busy, suburban area around people, you probably know that all too well.

Living chronically stressed is one of the worst things you can do for your health (it’s a slow form of dying as I think settling into retirement is, but that’s another story for another day).

You may know stress is linked to 6 of the leading causes of death and probably more as our society is growing even more complex and filled with daily stressors. The saddest result from stress is if a person tragically considers ending their life or lives on anxiety medication. Inside of each of us, there are healthy alternative solutions, and that is the answer to life.

Jon Kabat -Zinn is known for his mindfulness and meditation work and writing. He worked on a study where employees practiced a mindfulness technique for 30 minutes a day for 8 weeks. Their brains were scanned before and after. Following the mindful 8 weeks, the participants had more activity in the left side of their front brain that showed enthusiasm and joy.

The study is an example of how we can affect our stress and daily lives by our thoughts. Most adults carry some out-of-control problems and walk around with varying levels of burden or worry in the mind-body construction we’re given.

Often, we don’t know what we can do to fix our immediate problems or we’ve already tried without a definitive solution, so we just accept that’s just how it is, at least for this season. And the season can be lifelong if never addressed again or if giving up or coping is the way of being.

That’s this life. It’s what you do with your thoughts and making them positive in some way, that makes all the difference in the world.

If you’re a natural Vata-Pitta type and live in a city environment, like I am and do, you’re highly susceptible to stress-related health issues. You can get warning signs initially showing up as acute or chronic anxiety, strong judgment, inflammation, aches, or pains that you can’t pinpoint the exact cause of. Over time these stress symptoms wear down your mental health and you can suddenly one day no longer get excited about your work, even though it was a gradual accrual.

So I starting making stress relief and work-life balance a priority in my late 20’s. I knew my health and appearance would suffer if I didn’t make changes.

We all want to live actively, and full of energy now and especially in our older years. Plus we have our individual desires like I want to look 20 years younger than my real age… and, I know I’m not alone in those wants.

Looking back in my young adult life, I had put my health on auto-pilot, prioritizing goals to climb the corporate ladder. And then I had small health situations, one after another, that made me question if my work lifestyle was contributing.

I took my job more seriously than my own health. Like, one time I had a panic attack and just went on with the day as though nothing had happened. I never forgot about it though.

Another time, I ignored the initial call to walking pneumonia. Not until the CEO of the company I worked for, urged me to go see the doctor, did I actually prioritize health over my job. I was lucky to get the encouragement and luckily I went to get medical help.

Those were warnings. They may have panned out okay for a healthy 20-something-year-old, but even a few years later makes a difference in the aging process as I started to notice my health more as I got more balance in my life.

I had accumulated stress in my body-mind for many years before I noticed or took any positive action. The body keeps score.

The stress I accumulated had started years before.

I grew up in a house with struggling immigrant parents. There was a lack of daily consistency. There was weekly household expressed anxiety-anger that got recorded in my young brain. And, I suppressed my emotions. As an adult, to become whole and healed, I needed to let out and process post-trauma still living actively in my old child’s brain and affecting my new adult decisions.

I didn’t know mindfulness could be an even better cure (than therapy). Back then in my 20’s, I didn’t know I had an issue, until I started learning more and getting aware (in our pre-vulnerable sharing society days we live in today).

As a young adult, I was just trying to put a roof over my head. That led to a panic attack incident from accumulated stress building up from a prior work victimization situation, then-current toxic management issues, and also working 55 plus grueling work hour weeks.

Different situations, but those are the types of multiple, complicated layers that many adults walk around with daily, that’s running in their mind-bodies. And they hold it all in instead of finding a healthy, sustainable solution that’s readily available (like I found).

In my case and so many others, my brain had recorded current stress-filled situations and mixed them with past emotional childhood trauma that was never healed. The body can then snap.

Our regular healthy bodies are naturally resilient but they can only take so much before there’s a breakdown, and that’s what happened in my case.

Most people live like that, unconscious and unaware about the damage carried around in the cell memories of the mind-bodies. Getting stress relief awareness is life and investment in your future health.

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