Are you in the pursuit of happiness? Chickpea pie (like the one baked in love above) makes me hap-pea. And happiness is for a moment that’s different than meaningful joy.
This is a life area I think many people these days are redefining as their expectations for happiness fell short at least in the past few years.
And they don’t know what to do to change that as an undercurrent running in their minds as external situations are getting tougher.
If that’s you, be encouraged you’re in good company. We’ve all had to change situations that we didn’t choose.
And I’m gonna share some nuggets on how to help change the tide (and how I changed my ways).
First of all, I can totally relate to a chain of disappointments. And that’s how I got to see them as God’s appointments.
I was dealt some lemons… and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t who has lived this life for at least a quarter of a century.
Losses, unhappy situations, and failures are hard to swallow (and doesn’t help the pursuit of happiness). But going through is the fastest way to get to the other side. We often slow our progress by having pity parties. I know I did until I finally caught on.
By being aware you focus on the positives so you can thrive and not dwell on the same stuck feelings and thoughts that come back like a boomerang.
Your mind-body remembers, and so every February when nothing was going on… I was reminded of what wasn’t going on that I could’ve buried earlier if I knew what to do.
But waiting seasons are needed, and that’s how I gradually learned how to flip the switch in not getting what I wanted. And trade that in for contentment and deeper joy, which produces feeling good.
And that’s what those who seem to have it all on the outside, don’t have…
I started out my young adult life wanting the same desires and dreams that most people have: a corporate job they are successful and feel good about (or at least aren’t feeling miserable in), a family of their own, good relationships, nice stuff, a college degree or two, and financial freedom.
These were the same sort of accomplishments many in the Washington DC metro area I grew up in, had.
But being in a high-pressure cooker environment that feeds into high-achieving egos didn’t help. That encouraged more of a self-absorbed life that turns into unfulfilling boredom and unhappiness.
After a while, I snapped out thinking, “there’s got to be more to life than just this.”
And while I had scattered bits and pieces of that old life description that carried me through my earlier years, that’s not the life I have now.
But what I do have today is a different proud lens to look out from, that’s everyday contentment. It’s not the same happiness lens that I used to aspire to that became a never-ending, up-and-down roller coaster ride.
…I hated that lifestyle based on external situations because the down was always a hard fall and a huge contrast from the going up feelings that felt good for the moment.
The problem with that is that you’re always chasing the next thing and high that seems better. It’s a bottomless pit because the feeling can never be satiated.
In this life, we always grow weary or tired of anything after a while. A good thing never stays good the same way for us. Everything is temporary, as are feelings.
But if you’re feeling deeper joy (that comes from the spirit) inside you every day, that’s sustaining for the soul (mind, body, free-will, and emotions). We can’t change the way we’re wired as humans.
And you’re not your mind-body that drives your thoughts and feelings, even though you make the decisions.
So what helps to feel good every day is to be productive, just like you need good sleep every day so you have energy.
And joy energy is needed to get more out of this life so you can show up creative, and have enough to give out to others.
Here are a couple of good idea reminders:
1. Tune into the better daily channels for inner peace.
So if you’re like most in the pursuit of happiness, pay attention to the channels brought in, both external in what to listen to and watch, and internal thoughts aligned with the spirit (the whispers that bring out the joy).
Since I’m not in pursuit of the happiness that I started my life with, I listen to my inner desires.
Sometimes I’m a tired Vata because I don’t stick to an exact sleep routine (…good to get to bed early and get your proper ZZZ’s I tell my Night Owl self). But that’s all fixable with a cuppa joe and the next night’s sleep.
…What’s not fixable is waking up and focusing on the wrong desires (or strategy of life if you want to be more concrete).
And so when I get going, I have purpose and joy inside me that I get to make progress and impact in the day, and have meaningful work. I do life my way with freedom and space… and without pressures that sink in that create stress. I set a schedule that works for me, and when I get paid I can do more of the things I love. 🧡
That’s not how it was when I settled in as an employee. Or when I was starting out on my own.
If this or your dream life is more what you want and it’s not what you have today, start by figuring out how you can build that life by taking one baby step at a time. And then you’ll get more clarity from that step and in the next step.
See how you can get a few extra hours of time and freedom to do what you want.
…And then you won’t have regrets about your work life when you look back at the years that went by.
That was a big driver for me.
And looking back, none of the past work situations are relevant to the actual work I do today, even though they propelled me forward to keep growing and use some of the experiences gained for my next moves.
And not even the budding small business blog I had back in 2009 that took me back into a new corporate working life. And guess what?… yours truly here is still blogging today on more meaningful topics. ✍️
Your life doesn’t have to stay in the same lines it started in. No one says a straight-line work path to retirement is the best life except for culture and critics. If you take a life-changing sabbatical at 35 you get to take all that gained information you gathered and use it for the rest of your life.
And eventually, every situation and everyone’s situation changes.
And that’s more evidence that situations good or bad, happy or sad, are fleeting. What’s lasting is YOU who has come out with more knowledge and experiences. And maybe good memories too.
In the process of tough circumstances, trials, and setbacks, you become more resilient, patient, content, and learn what this life is more about so you can lean into what is good for your life that produces happiness.
And that brings me to a deeper #2…
2. Find out what God wants from you
…And as my life unraveled I realized I was chasing the wrong dreams, and some led to problems and that helped me find my new life dreams.
And then even some healthy dreams that I was successful at and growing didn’t pan out because the timing wasn’t right (which means God wanted me somewhere else).
So, I’m actually writing a new book about finding this newer life (that everyone can)… and how to more easily co-create and get to fulfill bigger plans and heart dreams that were promised in your design before you were born.
…And in my old life, I always had healthy achieving desires. But they weren’t the exact ones that were designed for me by the Creator who created it all. His plan takes faith, belief, and patience. There’s a process.
That’s what I’ve come to know. And that’s the opposite of the “if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” mindset and lifestyle I grew up in.
He has a unique plan and bigger dreams for each of us that needs a different higher internal lens to discern. And being in the pursuit of happiness and following what culture defines as success doesn’t help. But having daily wisdom, joy, and peace does.
The book is one of my new year’s goals. We need a revolution of good change (that’s the new resolution) to be able to thrive in our exciting, new world emerging.
If you want to know when my book will be available, signup to be on my list.
And in your new year pursuits and heart’s desires, maybe you decide to rewrite your pursuit of happiness goals and align them to the written stars for you and who you’re becoming. 🌟
OH, OH, OH… and Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! 🎄
