I can’t think of anything more work adrenaline-filled than putting on a moving-part production. That’s how I felt when I would plan and then orchestrate large events with over 100 guests, where the habits from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People were put to good use.
Setting up event success meant planning milestone meetings with chefs and managers (and plenty of meetings with myself) with a 5 P’s mantra: Proper planning prevents poor performance.
On event night, the party had to begin at the ready time and all the prep work laid out then paid off, as did the end goal of a successful event. The first two habits (of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) always took center stage:
1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
In your life, you probably don’t plan events (or not in a live event space today anyway)…but most of us plan our schedules. So most of us are planners. On the calendar, you can (and may already) practice be(ing) proactive and begin with the end in mind habits.
One effective way is, if you only have an activity that requires a bi-weekly (or bi-anytime) habit… well, to succeed with those tasks, you could fill the non-weeks or time with another activity so that your mind has to search for the “either/or” activity. If you don’t create a weekly placeholder activity then you could forget/skip the bi-weekly intended one. Let it be easy!
If it’s an every other day activity, then you could fill that same activity time for another activity, and that follows a daily habit (habit stacking concept from Atomic Habits). It’s much easier for the habit to stick when (and for consistency to happen) when you have a method. Consistency is the end-all, be-all that builds progress and confidence, and works for every habit I can think of.
But consistency can be at odds with creativity, so I look at them as the yin-and-yang, or the sugar and the salt in baking that give the balance spice in life.
During the parties, when there were too many moving parts, being in the moment, keeping focused on the guests, gauging the temperature of the and checking in on the party host (be proactive) was part of event success (begin with the end in mind).
Fast forward to today and our world is rapidly changing (like never before!) The high-level principles from Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” are still effective. Thankfully something is!
Let’s break down the components for your today’s (relevant) world success. This could change as you read this (…just kidding!)… finding meaning in life never gets old.
And finding your life’s purpose is a proactive choice that can easily get clouded in the busyness and hoopla distractions. You know you’re headed in the right direction when you keep developing yourself (actually, habit #7 that I get to below)… and are practicing new skills, putting one step in front of the other. The Universe is constantly guiding you and offering an invisible hand to help you.
It takes effort to head in the wrong direction and when you’re in or out of alignment at some point (as we all have experienced highs and lows), you surely know it because, in society, someone will tell you (if you haven’t realized yourself).
If you go from zero to 100 overnight, that will come at a cost. And you can learn from that and then pivot to the next item. Something will happen or end, it always does. Or you could simply lose interest. The healthy mind knows that a re-route is to help you move up in the climb of your life and get off the roller coaster ride.
If you begin with the desired outcome end in mind, then you can then Ready, Fire, Aim. If you have a rough idea of where you want to end up, then you can better start the process, then take an action and that gives clarity to the next step.
If you question your life’s purpose or what on earth you’re here for, then that’s vastly different than desiring to be a K-pop sensation or retirement-wealthy before 60. My guess is that you’re more into seeking your destiny and purpose. And the rest will fall into place.
They’re not mutually exclusive but your process in between will be completely different for those different desires.
When you’re younger, you could start off one way, and turn out the 180 degrees opposite, or you’ll grow more into what you started off as. This pretty much holds true for most areas of your life. Like some childhood foods and activities you still love and others you’ve moved away from.
…Which brings me to habits 3 and 4 from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win
These days prioritizing what’s important is fuzzier. Most of us live a double life with our digital lives and real lives, so putting first things first (habit #3) is not the easiest thing. Both lives can be (and are) authentic, but many of us have separate accounts for our interests apart from old friends and family who may or may not support the evolving parts of you.
We live in a more collaborative world. It may not seem that way to a younger Gen Zer, but we used to be in an extremely competitive world (which made sense for a win-win habit to be called out), and now there’s a collaborative blend. Your sweet spot is what makes you stand out and the skills that you’re good at that are relevant.
When you find that intersection, then you gain more self-confidence.
The biggest competitor you could run into for a win-win approach (habit #4) can be yourself and your moods (we used to blame much more on others). We’re now a greater aware society. The better choice is to exercise the brain muscle and run away from our lazy moods and fearful minds.
Ego loves fear. Ego hates to love. Rise to the love (the same love that the Universe is trying to give you a hand up with).
We put emphasis on money and time, but energy is also what we need to conserve and boost. We don’t care to have money if we don’t have vitality first. And we don’t care so much for extra time if we’re bored and there’s no energy or passion where we spend time.
Being able to give is a gift. It’s a win-win. There’s a cosmic exchange when you give your energy away in optimism, then the world dances. When you give your time (service) or money (generous-giving), that can create buzz.
And when you can start looking at how you fit in the world, not selfishly, but what you can give in the abundant overflow you’re given in personality, gifts, and talents, then you can grow to your highest and best use purpose (habit #2). In self-awareness, then you can create a continuing growth environment (kaizen is the Japanese word in business terms) for you and others around you (habits # 5-7):
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the saw
“You have two ears and one mouth,” I think I remember Author Stephen Covey saying when he still held his habit teaching workshops.
Habit #5 summed up: Hearing, selective listening, and active listening are 3 different processes. The first is naturally automatic, the second is tuning in/out and when multi-tasking, and the third is focusing, taking notes, and coming up with your unique ideas from what you heard in your frame of reference and experiences.
In my event planning days, if a client had an issue, it was best to listen to them, then give them available options based on what they communicated (habit #5) and let them decide which options to take (habit #6). Seasoned event planners know how to do that every time, and let those dialogues roll off their tongue (habit #7). And that way the client felt in charge and if things didn’t go as planned, then they owned part of the outcome. That’s the behind-the-scenes smoothness in event planning.
And that helps when you work with others. If you fill them in with what you’re up to, there’s a chance they can fill in and help in ways you wouldn’t know how now.
Habit #6: 1+1=3 or synergy is exponential growth that happens when you have collaboration. And when you keep adding/evolving collectively to what you’re doing, then you’re getting better. By default, you’ll avoid the things you didn’t like or “been there done that,” and keep seeking newer, better ways for yourself. That leads to growing…
Habit #7: I’m convinced that evolved learners focus most of their time on the present moment. They know where they’re at and that the past brought them to where they are today. And without the past, they would not have learned (from their history) what they need to do to improve. And when you get out of the negative emotions of that headspace or focus on the happy memories then you can feel good and alive.
When you can reflect, you can see why things happened and how they helped you even though it didn’t seem that way when you were learning the lesson.
Everything happens for a good reason (believe that!) and sometimes that takes a little longer to realize… and, at every turn you are gaining a little more confidence in who you are becoming.