Happy self is a constant happiness. It’s not a situation that’s ever changing.
And if you were to ask me what happiness is, my description today from 5 years ago is virtually the same (even in evolved post-Covid years).
There are no new tricks under the sun (…and I still love rainbows).
And that’s why the older you get, the better you can get at it, because you have more practice and wisdom to deeply know that it’s inside you.
Because in my 30s, I got it all wrong.
…I thought happiness was based on external situations in life that I grew up believing. Like, it depended on my job happiness, my relationships, and what fun things I was going to do on the weekend.
But being dependent on those things, I was put on a roller coaster.
When those were good (aka life was good), I was on a happy high that felt like a euphoric drug.
When I didn’t have those things, it was low, and it felt like a Monday morning hangover.
…From a no-alarm Saturday jumping out of bed to a dragging-my-feet Monday morning feeling.
But I knew there had to be a better way.
I eventually grew out of my happy dependence, as my life situations shifted. Job and relationship loss will that do to you.
And in order for me to thrive in adversity, I needed to change also.
I came to realize that if we rely on things and people to create our happiness, we set ourselves up for disappointment and feeling unhappy.
…And it’s a roller coaster out-of-control feeling being happy and sad at the same time.
But empowered happiness (that I had published a book about) is about creating your own happiness anytime.
It’s a mind muscle that can be developed. This helps unleash your happy self that’s already inside you.
Then you don’t have to wait for your favorable situations or anything.
It also helps you get to know the deeper sides of you that help you grow.
…But that’s a secondary byproduct.
The main benefit is that you can feel happy right now, just where you are.
…No roller coaster ride needed!
…Sounds good, yes?
It does start with your thoughts that create the feeling in the mind-body connection. That’s no new science.
But sometimes (often?) changing thoughts is easier said than done.
Because when your thoughts and feelings are misaligned (by no fault of yours), you’re feeling bad, and then having a bad day…
And that’s when you wish you were more happy.
But as moody-easy as it is to get unhappy, the good news is it’s just a few steps back to get back to your happy mood. Don’t worry, be happy.
And below I share the 7 ways that I take.
Because a bad (trashy) day is okay, but a trashy season is not if you want to live your best life.
As an analogy, on actual trash garbage day where you are living, you roll the trash can out or you throw out the trash, and you feel a little lighter. The next day you’re happy to start over without yesterday’s old trash around.
That’s how a bad day (trashy day) and your expectation of the next good day can feel. It can be subtle or powerful depending on you.
And either way, your assignment should you choose to accept is to ensure that it’s a good day tomorrow.
These are 7 ways you can do today, to do just that:
Pay attention to those less fortunate. That way you are sensitized and get to feel lucky when nothing about you has changed. Contrast and compassion help us freshly see that we have more than we think. We snap out of thinking about ourselves only, and our worry, woes-me bubbles, and what we don’t have.
Plan things to look forward to. This can be a trip, reunion, meeting a deadline, etc.
Write out a short list of what you were grateful for last week. We all can come up with 5 things if we put our mind to it. Such as, you ordered a book that came in, you got a helpful notification, you implemented an idea, something you worried about didn’t happen, or you tried a new tea.
Recall something you did today that you quietly appreciated. Take a break and you can always lean into the season because nature doesn’t disappoint.
Look at happy memories/photos. Pre-digital era, we would print photos, scrapbook them, and pull out the past-time albums. Today you can just pull out your instant devices in front of you and access your happy photos. .
Find daily inspiration. What makes you daily happy from your 5 senses? This is an easy one… and an easy one to take for granted. So mix it up and shake up what you look at, smell, taste, feel, and listen to. 🎶
It can take just one thing to change to your happy self today. And then when you’re there, you can get to your happiest self. How?
Work on your purpose. We’re here to do heartfelt things on this planet. When you find the activity that you love and lights you up, that’s also helping the world, you’re creating impact and fulfilling purpose that lead to feeling your accomplished happy high.
…And to your highest happiest humble place (where ego isn’t).
It’s longer lasting and on a deeper level than the external things that your former self thought made you happiest.
And if you’re still trying to get to your happy, and you’ve done the things above, then ask yourself: am I really trying… or is my happiness dependent on s, p, and t (situations, people, and things)?
When empowered happiness is new, it can feel awkward or like you’re fooling yourself. That’s how misalignment can feel… but keep leaning on yourself to be your happy self, is the secret key to produce your own happiness.
You’re relying on you and not things and people that you’ve been counting on.
Then keep practicing, so that you’re helping yourself to bigger and better things. And so you keep growing and going, knowing how to create and be happy no matter what.
Because Life is ready to align your happy plans tomorrow with your happy self. Today, you’re one song away from getting to that happy self. 🎉