Mental Health and Wellness Archives - Page 18 of 28

Mindfulness Over Ego For Your Happiness

Mindfulness is awareness. And it’s on the path to your happiness.

Have you ever had a bad dream that set you off for the day?

That’s how I felt early on over the weekend. Despite the dream, I ended the day well in mindfulness with a sweet 2021 Netflix movie, Long Story Short (have you seen it?).

The witty romantic comedy movie has good meaning about appreciating your life and those around you, just in case you’re looking for an uplifting movie. 🎬

But back to where I was…

Before I got to the pillow that same night, most of the day I felt irritated.

The ego in my mind was trying to get the better of me and steal my happiness.

You may know, the unhealthy ego wants to take over you and spin lies in your head (and it tries to make you believe in your mind that anyone who believes that is full of nonsense, in case you’re not aware of your ego just yet).

You can look at a behaving ego as a separate channel that you frequent when you need a healthy dose of self-esteem or a boost of productive motivation.

But most of the time you want to stay clear and reject fiery-ignited ego thoughts running in your background, as its destructive power can get you in a hot mess at its worse.

Like it can be a wildcard as it showed up at this year’s live Oscars where anything can happen.

Or it can leave a bad mood when it’s mild (like I had). And it can show up as an Imposter, and make you think (and made me think): “I’m not enough.”

It will lead you and your life for as long as you’re still under its spell.

I share because I think it helps to know.

And it happens if you’re not carefully aware and just letting thoughts run their course. The way a lot of innocently unaware people operate. And that’s how I used to operate.

But now knowing better, I still had this mood that tried to damage my self-esteem and derail me from being productive.

The robbing ego thoughts just kept at it… so I didn’t write for a day at all as I thought it would be disingenuous writing in this feeling “not enough” Imposter-minded state. And even though I’ve contributed to hundreds of articles and publications, some on Apple news feed with millions of monthly views.

…So what did I do instead? I turned the news on and was humbled in empathy by the sad world news happenings going on.

That lasted a few hours and then the ego gremlins came back, and again I was wrestling with a sour mood.

Par for ego’s course, it even tried to block my taking steps to reach for the healthy restoring Ayurvedic lifestyle things I know to do. Like the ones that work to stop the body from further irritation and moods.

Ego keeps you from taking productive action and even wanting to pray. It detests the idea of mindfulness because then it dies.

And it skips over words and activities that would help you. It wants to keep you down.

This sounds severe, but the reality is this is how a lot of people are these days in brain fog and not knowing what to do (if anything).

It’s hard to snap out of moods immediately, even with an evolved mind like I believe I have now. Plus, it was a sunny day outside. 😊

Specifically, I was hit with that lazy thinking-feeling. You know that mood when you don’t want to do something. But you know if you do, you’ll come out better.

So then I took another step. I could only sit on the couch for so long. I broke out of following my ego-driven thoughts into managed thoughts and read a few paragraphs from A New Earth, a self-help ego book.

That book only makes sense to me now. But years ago it didn’t when I was still processing Eckart Tolle’s earlier book: The Power of Now. A great read by the way.

I align those book lessons to Scripture verses like “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

See, years ago I learned that ego conveniently stands for Edging God Out, but back then hadn’t connected the dots fully.

Those days, seeing out from the lens of ego, I showed up in pride typical of the area I lived in and did not see any regretful situations I was part of or needed to find forgiveness for. Even if they were just hurting me mostly.

Ego talk didn’t resonate with me back then because I was being played by my ego (and most people are with their ego in some way in their lives).

But not today for me. And not this recent time, where I wised up in mindfulness. That came from experience and wisdom even when I didn’t feel it just yet.

Sometimes it can take a day to take effect even when you’re conscious. But, a weekend was longer than I was willing to wait– not wanting to lose a day. 🌈

How To Get Ego Aware In Your Life (From Mindfulness)

Harmful ego shows up invisibly and doesn’t want you to know that your life could be so much better and those around you if the negative filter spin or misperceptions of reality was lifted. It loves being critical and skeptical.

It preys on the weak and vulnerable moments like when you’re too busy, had some kind of trigger, or have a bad dream as I had. The smallest things can set it off.

It’s not a person’s fault. It’s a fault in humans when it has gone bad.

Just remember, ego works its way in at any time, in any thought situation, and in anyone who has a mind.

And I think is the most powerful or dangerous weapon on the planet. That’s billions of us walking around with this running machinery.

Calling it out in the present moment awareness slows the motor. And eventually pulls the plug until it shows up again.

Awareness is the first line of defense.

And it’s in your ability and control to manage.

Finding a simple distraction can be a good way. Taking a walk or shower…

Or meal prepping as a mindfulness break can swing the pendulum back to productive or loving-thought moods. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

And if you believe the next day will be better, it will.

My Next Day…

That’s what happened to me the next day. I wrote in flow. It’s this same flow where the unhealthy ego leaves and creativity emerges. You’ve probably heard of this flow-business or experienced it before in your mindfulness passions or activities…

For me, that’s an hour of writing for what could’ve taken me all day or at least hours.

After the words flow through, it’s pretty much forgotten. That’s part of staying in mindfulness.

And if you’re ever considering writing a book…

That’s also one of the common reasons why it takes so long to publish (…and anyone who has, knows this).

The mind has already moved on to another new topic.

And it took me a year to read over my own work many times agreeing authentically again to the meaning of my flowed through written words, before publishing.

That’s my jam, but if writing isn’t yours, you have other usable, maybe even more fun skills, abilities, and talents. And you can use them productively today living your best for today.

And tomorrow you can question if there is something more important you could be doing in this life. Because in constant mindfulness, and wanting to not waste time, you’re going to live a better life.

Oh, and one final thought on this…

Chef Jose Andres came from being a comfortable foodie restaurant chef and evolved into a humanitarian World Central Kitchen founder.

He’s an example of using a healthy ego for good purposes.

And our healthy ego and pride can do that to motivate us to take the next steps and make good contributions through us in our daily lives.

For all of us, it’s where life leads each of us. And once in a while, reflecting back and being reminded of coincidences and memories to feed the healthy ego. Like I once worked as a marketing manager for a similar Spanish tapas restaurant a few blocks away from Chef Jose’s restaurants (those were the good food days 😋).

And ultimately, it’s not what we do but how we do it and who we become. Life’s a marathon, so don’t worry if you haven’t figured it (or most things) out. Choose to have a healthy mind and believe for good things to work out, and they will.

If you think this blog post was helpful, please share or grab the link and text it to someone else that would find it useful.

Bear Chronotype At 9-5 Work

Bear chronotype is how more than half of us are. We’re wired for the 9-5 work life especially in corporate offices.

transition cherry blossom blooms — Cherry blossom blooms on the Tidal Basin is a reminder that every day is fleeting.

If you like animals, you like chronotype descriptions, where the Bear Chronotype is the one that 9-5 workers like. More on chronotypes below that are meant to help you develop better sleep habits.

But they can also be telltale for work types too..

In DC that I’m familiar with, it’s a transient area where many flock to the area for work. And where there’s an annual reminder of seasons and transition with the spring cherry blossom show.🌸

The common 9-5 job exists but often are loose hours as most work around the clock. Especially since WFH has become LIFE where real life vs. virtual world digital collides and you have more control over your day.

But, wherever you are in the world, maybe you’re in your pivot transition starting over in life, work, careers, or business.

Or you’re going back into a new office setting. If you’re considering what work to do next, before you make a move, it’s smart to first consider how you work best…

Because it could save you from stress eating, time you won’t get back, and unnecessary worry to name just a few things.

You can start by getting clues from your past experiences and how you’re naturally wired. And you can see how you fit as one of the 4 work types described below.

These can help you find the right, sustainable work environment especially if you’re in transition (e.g deciding if you want to stay in corporate work or branch off on your own).

For most, the mention of transition can drum up thoughts of dread, anticipation, or mixed emotions. Feelings like you had months and weeks before and on the first day of school during your younger years.

That’s where most of us who went to school remember first learning the ropes to what worked for us and what didn’t. We were faced with situations where we could make choices and others where there was no leeway.

But today, you have greater freedom to decide what you want to do with your work and life.

You can lean into the easier work or in a direction of work responsibilities and risk, where adversities and challenges can lead to higher rewards.

Transitions are often hard, but you can help yourself by believing that’s where growth comes.

Where growth is, there’s life (hope and love on the other side) and the chance to continue thriving with infinite possibilities that are more satisfying than mere existence.

Growth isn’t usually in the easy, happy times. Even though we’re wired to want the easy.

But when it isn’t easy, amid uncertainty and figuring things out, you can find daily joy and contentment as a sustainable way to be happy. That’s a skill that helps you the rest of your life.

It also helps to know why you’re making change and starting a new venture, so that when you reach tough winds, you still push through when you’re determined enough.

Dan Buettner, Founder of Blue Zones, is the expert and author of several books on Centenarian longevity lifestyles in the Blue Zone regions that exist in the world, like Sardinia and Okinawa (as the most well-known ones).

He studied these older and wiser pockets of people who lean into their community connections and joy living with greater purpose.

And in interviews, Dan recounts his past as a distance cyclist-athlete and how he physically pushed himself too hard.

And then one day, he was in a restaurant with his wife and friends and ended up in the hospital for over-exertion on his heart.

This later came as an a-ha to him that his life was missing balance.

We can all learn from his experience and relate to his wisdom. Sometimes it takes health scares, work situations, or life crises to make us feel and rethink our ways and path.

These can help us make needed changes. As can being in a work lifestyle (or lack of work-life balance) that doesn’t suit you.

Dan describes several different chronotype work types that consider when you would feel most active and productive.

They are:

Bears: A little more than half the population are Bears, productively getting things done between 9-5, the way our Corporate America society is wired. The Bear chronotype is all among us!

Lions: Described as the Early Bird people and the CEO types that like to get up in the wee-hours of the morning, making lists, and completing performance routines. Sounds a lot like the Pittas in modern Ayurveda living.

Wolves: Those who like to stay up late, a.k.a. Night Owls and creatives, who can’t usually get to bed before midnight. I think of stand-up comedians who work at night.

Dolphins: A dolphin type is more similar to a Bear chronotype, but tends to have anxiety and worry. Not sure why it’s call a dolphin because I think I’m pretty calm around dolphins.

Which type describes you?

In transition, being aware of what creates worry and anxiety is going to be especially critical for Dolphins (and naturally if you’re a Vata). And being aware of what creates anger-irritation for a Lion (and a natural Pitta).

And, why does this matter?

If these are natural ways for you, they are holding you back from your best life.

But, you can transform those parts of your life. I’m living proof. 😊

I naturally identify as a Dolphin and a Vata, but there was a transition period that lasted many seasons before I could honor those ways and change from the Bear chronotype work-life I had.

It wasn’t overnight because I needed to pivot to more creative work.

In the process, I let go of expressing anger that used to be a natural reaction as PTSD and what I learned starting at a young age.

But in awareness and desire to change, I started connecting the dots to feeling anger as the opposite of peace in my life.

And then I looked for ways to live in peace, joy, and love that I had never considered before.

And as I looked for more ways to self-improve, I grew more confident in my knowledge.

Finding wisdom is empowered knowledge and living in peace without regrets about choices made and opportunities not taken.

For all of us, finding a restored calm mind-body and sense of peace is going to be the respite to bring out our most productive, loving, and creative self.

That’s the best the world would love to see more of.

Where to Find Joy, Hope, and Faith Sources

Looking forward to the peony bush that usually only blooms for a few weeks in May.

Earth laughs in flowers.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Easter just weeks away is a reminder that we’re embarking on a new spring season and wild ride that this life is. Easter is a symbol of hope and a sign of life. It’s a time of celebration and joy. It’s one I look forward to, despite all the world’s turmoil.

I made this imprime (imprinted) cherry blossom jelly sponge roll over the weekend to take a break from all that’s going on.

I cut it in the shape of a letter and added cherries.

On that note and when life doesn’t feel like a bowl of cherries–when you feel hope is missing in this life–it’s important to reset on the hopeful. That’s a good time to evaluate your thoughts and hear uplifting messages of faith. That’s what I do and is one way to restore your joy and get out of self-sabotage moods.

Here are 3 other effective ways:

✔️ Feel compassion for others less fortunate than you. There are always people who fall into those categories. You don’t have to go far to hear about the needs. You can turn on the news to feel.

✔️ Answer the question: what is the worst that can happen? Come up with options from your current standpoint and knowledge. Doing this helps put your mind at ease with plan options. And so does knowing you’re never alone in this world (that’s never-ending evolving). If you stay in the belief that things will be better on the other side, then you stay hopeful.

✔️ Bring curiosity back. Reflect on daily unique coincidences in your life and try to discern the meaning. Maybe you keep running into the same good situation… like you’re the first in line or there’s one item left for you. Do you see these as blessings or nothing out of the ordinary luck?

Children are in awe over common things so much easier than adults. They get excited and wonder about the things we glance over. Things like nature, butterflies, and ladybugs. Children and growing living things give us hope.

You can also borrow hope from others who believe there is life after passing through this life… another form of hope.

If you are (or become) a believer, then your outlook and outcomes are very different than if you aren’t sure or don’t know. No one is born a believer even if they’re given guidance. It’s a deliberate choice that each person has the right to.

Believers know what’s at the end. That’s why they can walk around with a smile on their face even when they are going through chaos. Because they know in the end, good wins. But they too have to feed daily their healthy mind-body with the hopeful fuel to keep growing.

And they know who’s in charge at the end of the day and where to turn to, that’s not other people. And when they see other like-minded believers, they know they will see them again.

With a deeper perspective, there is a greater purpose in life. What if you could feel this way if you don’t already? You get to choose what you believe in almost any situation.

Seeing the writing on the wall happens from a change of heart, baby step actions towards a want, and often many failed attempts. Fail forward and fast is a much better belief than the one I grew up with of “don’t fail.” That was just a setup for failure. So glad that the world has wised up in its beliefs.

When I was younger, I didn’t know there was a free will choice to live a life other than the one I was living. But before knowing this as a young adult, I knew I didn’t like the course of life I had or the limited resources I carried. Or the problems that I was burdened with. I felt like I was missing something even though everything seemed to run okay on the outside. So I looked for other possibilities that I couldn’t see.

Having this why of wanting better led me to try to find formal mentors or professional help like therapy that turned into failed attempts that eventually steered me to the right places.

I also read self-help and expert-led books, getting knowledgeable through words and not just guessing. Authors I didn’t know were my mentors and I was my self-therapist. 😉

I also read Scripture and certain words jumped off the page. The comforting ones like “do not worry…” and “If God is for us, who can be against us”… which sometimes can be ourselves getting in our own way. (Amen?).

In the beginning, I thought the fun side of life I had would end. And for an Enneagram 7, that’s hard to swallow as one of our motivators. I thought I’d have to start living a stricter life and had no idea how that would work.

But gradually, I learned the keys to daily peace, enjoyment, and guilt-free living. I went to Bible Study and church and then church again in the same week because I wanted to. My soul was fed and my spirit grew. The people were nice and liked to have fun, and we listened to the same types of rock music. And I felt safe.

All the things I wanted to change, gradually changed on their own with the desires in the back of my mind. It was an inside job that I can’t credit myself for.

And if you can relate or already live in a similar way, are you happy and healthy? Are you taking care of yourself (body, mind, and soul)? Are you living your “highest and best use”? This is a phrase I learned in business school that pertains to living out an optimal life in every area.

Pleasing others or playing it safe may not be your best life. The biggest rewards are from taking chances and having faith. Because I do think it’s a test and how you live here matters.

But if you’re unhappy (or know others who are), there’s a good chance that your (or their) gifts and talents are getting buried. You would know this because you’re not as creative or productive as you’re capable of or once were. And if you’re possibly feeling stuck or spinning wheels. I know this because that’s how I felt a lot when I knew it was time to move on.

Do you know or remember the parable of the gifts and talents? It’s a good reminder that the more you use your talents, the more you will get. We want to see your gifts in the world. Give and you will get more.

That’s how I believe I discovered hidden talents I didn’t even know I had inside me, as a mature adult. I started using gifts blindly not knowing what was ahead.

…Which btw reminds me of the idea of blind baking where there’s no real risk. But you do wonder if you’ll have an amazing bake, and if nothing else you learn something new in your repertoire to build on.

That’s how I see blind people in the news who better use their talents without sight, and who are both amazing and constantly learning. Now that’s hope. 🙏

Happy Life Embraces Change

Happy life was something I always dreamt of. I never knew the ride would be so different like clouds.

As you get closer, the clouds change and along the journey you gain empowered happiness that changes your perspective.

Living a happy life today means leaning into change. But that wasn’t how it always was…

I learned the adaptable ropes mostly in the job roles I held. I started out as a planner.

I was more like a hard doll than a flexible Gumby as a toy visual.

I think doing corporate work is a good training ground for life, reality, and how to deal with tough situations that don’t require physical survival skills. But you do learn life skills.

These make you resilient and adaptable to change as you’re never fully in control.

No one in corporate really is the boss. Even the boss has a boss.

They could be customers or a Board. And once you get the hang of what you’re doing, something changes.

So leaning into change is the best thing you can do. It starts with changing your perspective on change.

Just knowing that what you’re temporarily going through will not last, helps.

Some things you wish would, but then some you’re glad didn’t. So it usually comes out in the wash.

But, our brains want us to focus on the negative stuff instead of positive thougthts. It’s our job to flip the switch for our happiness.

If you let your mind just wander to where it wants to go and stay, that’s where the unhappiness comes from.

It’s like when you want to leave an unhappy physical place and arrive at a better place (or the steps in between) to get to a better place.

The happiest place on earth is really inside you and your managed feelings that start from your thoughts.

…Not Disney Land or your favorite place in the world. If you’ve been around long enough or are a wise soul who has caught on, you know those changing feelings never last.

If and when you become change-nimble, you don’t hold onto the past or what could have been.

You let go and focus on today, but dream about tomorrow. And you use history and your past as good reminders, happy memories, and to recall your happy life.

And in your today situations, you learn what you can do. Sometimes it’s wait-and-see without active response, and sometimes it’s taking a step in a bold stance or in another direction.

You’re wise to use healthy internal discernment as a guide and rational facts as checks and balances.

We all get thrown curve balls at some point. We also get varying opinions and smartly we can know that even those you honor or look up to don’t always have the best advice.

I have found the easiest way to take the best advice is to give the same advice. And to make a radical bold shift in the way that makes sense, can require a whole new attitude.

That begins with a motivation to want to change even if you don’t know-how. You learn in the desire.

You start over like a kid wanting to learn how to take on a new challenge, adventuresome sport, or hobby. Learning to change your thoughts is not nearly as exciting.

But if you manage your thoughts, you’ll get to the activities you’re really good at a lot sooner and not spend years on time-wasting ones.

Say, for example, you want to stop blaming or criticizing so much but that’s not the way it is or has been.

So then you would find how to shift the situation so you become part of the solution. You seek change with peace and not tension as part of the goal. You do this by catching yourself and your thoughts.

This I believe is the truth to happiness and having a happy life.

When you learn how to jump straight to changing attitudes and perspectives, you bypass the messy middle… where even with best intentions, our brain design can get stuck there in the clouds.

And sometimes you may not even know your invisible perspectives. I had a victim mentality and lens I was operating from that I didn’t even know was there.

Only until I was aware and observed my thoughts, could I change that.

With awareness in any area, you move towards a happy life.

If nothing else, believe that a better world and your better, happy life is in the process.

Because your beliefs make up your perspectives and attitudes. With all three in alignment, you’re destined to be unstoppable.

That’s how I transformed a victim mentality into an abundant one.

And you can too, or any other area you become aware of that you want to change and transform.

From a caterpillar existence to your butterfly happy living. 🦋

Positive Thoughts To Start Your Healthy Day

Positive thoughts like “you got this” can make a positive impact in your day.

And starting your day with a heart healthy recipe (🍓 below) like this delicious quinoa bowl breakfast idea to get excited about.

strawberry quinoa cereal. — Easy strawberry quinoa cereal recipe below. 🍓

If you’re wanting a better day, you recognize the difference between positive thoughts and negative ones.

Thoughts all start in the divided minds we’re given, that’s either hurting or helping us. And if this is new territory for you, start there.

Maybe you recognize which bucket your negative or positive thoughts belongs in, but you don’t know how to toss out the draining ones.

They can show up anytime: when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or when triggered by a memory, situation, or person.

And then the subconscious mind (ego) feeds off the nourishment of holding onto negative feelings or pain as a form of protection and masks its agenda from you. But now you know better.

Bypass the unnecessary time wasted in dramatic sorrow. Be proactive with positive affirmations, meditation, yoga, or healthy distractions that are great ideas to reset and get rid of thoughts that have no good business being with you in the first place.

Sounds like a plan, right?

But then going about your day or even seconds later, new thoughts occur from news headlines you read, someone offends or irritates you, a situation stirs an emotional chord, and then you’re right back to negative thoughts and moods. It’s daily and non-stop.

Your mind and the negative thoughts grow even if you think you’re living in a safe bubble.

The unhelpful thoughts never have a chance to go away until you decide the one thing you can change and have in common in every thought is YOU.

And so, I share in this detailed blog article what needs to change to get the happy and helpful thought life you want.

This is the second part of the article from last week on relaxing your mind for the best ideas.

Managing thoughts is essential for lifelong learners, and as a prerequisite to being your most productive self, unleashing your creative self, attracting people to your energy, and living your optimal life.

Years ago, I thought traveling to exciting, new places and feeling in woo would conquer negative thoughts, as they temporarily disappeared when senses were heightened (like when you’re newly in love or starting passion work). But those fickle feelings don’t last and things always change after the newness wears off.

So then I dipped my toe in collaborating and aligning myself with the Universe and how to manifest the best life (that’s woo woo to some).

For me, I was on the right path and things were looking up, but I still had to do the inner core work in my mind.

When all that eventually clicked together, then I could feel the woo hoo! And that’s what we all can celebrate in our lives if and when we get there.

It takes all the pieces–knowledge, process, and application. And if you’re feeling lost, it helps to have a guide.

These are a few guiding and starter points that helped me and hopefully can help you or anyone else who’s trying to figure out a better (thought) life.

The first part can be the hardest–knowing that it all starts in your mind and not someone or somewhere else.

This seems elementary after you learn this, but the ego wants to steer you in another direction like something else is the cause or problem.

So if you’re busy or not paying attention, that can happen and go on until you’ve had enough.

Another point is, don’t let nagging thoughts (or drama in your mind) that won’t leave you alone play out for longer than needed which is no more than a minute.

And in relationships, especially. It takes just one step to cross the invisible boundaries of another person with your words that originated from thoughts.

Walk away from your thoughts to give yourself more peace. Below I have some suggestions on what to do.

So, How to Change From Negative to Positive Thoughts…

Our thoughts are natural to us, and they cause us to take action that can appear inconsistent or as disconnects to others.

To change this, operating from awareness is imperative. Initially, this may feel like work and working harder (like walking uphill with heavy boots instead of sliding downhill). But it’s totally worth it.

You learn a life skill to purge those unwanted thoughts that pop up impromptu and when triggered.

I think there should be a required course on this that you learn early on (and would solve some of the world’s problems as people are the problem or solution).

But anyway… changing thoughts gets easier when you’ve learned the skill and it becomes more automatic.

The negative thoughts won’t disappear immediately, but much quicker than before in your thought choice, and you’ll be wise enough to know you don’t have to act out or say aloud negative thoughts.

Which btw, doesn’t change your personality. It makes you more attractive to the right people.

And that’s part of what separates our discerning brains from animals, young children, or when we were younger…

We all started out immature compared to who we’ve become today.

So here’s how you can reset and get your loving daily juice. To promote loving thoughts, witness your thoughts (I’m sure you’ve heard of this).

Practice being aware of what’s coming in. If it’s garbage, then reject or walk away.

If it’s something that you have feelings about and need to process or work through, then allow yourself that grace.

Again, you don’t have to air your thoughts to anyone, and not putting energy into negative thoughts is going to help you avoid wasted time.

Let them pass through and find the loving side of those thoughts (i.e. how can these thoughts help me?).

In the beginning, as you’re learning or practicing, you want to draw a line in the sand and separate thoughts as helpful or hurtful, good, or bad.

Make it easy on yourself and not leave thoughts in the confusing gray zone that’s part of the baggage carried around.

And let’s be clear, these are thoughts and not the actions that could follow. We want to nip them in the bud.

The good thoughts you accept and the bad ones you reject for your own good. If it hurts others, then you toss in the reject pile and you figure out a win-win or kinder way to confront if that’s needed.

Ask yourself daily and often: What just came out of my mouth and what’s going on in my head? Hit the archive button if it’s a worry thought until you can find answers, and hit the delete button if it’s a harmful thought to you or anyone else.

Know those thoughts will still be there if you need them, which you won’t, but your brain tries to convince you that they’re important to protect you when they’re not needed (for survival). You can blame the ego (yet again) on that.

So, after you start to live life this deliberate-thinking way and focus on positive thoughts, you can see the difference in the quality of your life and the better air that’s there.

You’ll feel more peace, and that helps your stress level and health.

You allow room for ideas to come in, and you become more useful to the world with your abilities. You become part of the solution.

Find A Mantra for Positive Thoughts

Pre-social media days, we were not part of an aware culture like we are in today.

In those days along my journey, I came across these words: “Whatever the question, love is the answer.”

I don’t know who the author is that wrote that, but I knew back then that I wanted that. So I printed out and framed those wise words that are now ingrained in memory.

With intention, I used that as my mantra. And even though I didn’t know how to apply it in every difficult situation.

I knew that if I aspired to the meaning behind the words, it would one day catch up with me and my self-actualized desires.

So, if you have similar aspirations of a learner mindset, find a mantra or intention (or use the one I used) to go to if you’re trying to change to more positive thoughts and aspirations.

It can be used as a distraction from negative thoughts. And you eventually become your words and what you think of.

Use Your Internal Guide

As mentioned, it can be helpful to have a guide and for those ahead of us in certain areas and times in our lives.

But the best overall guide is your internal compass.

Sometimes our moods are body-mind imbalanced or off track for a season and we can restore them much quicker if we know what to do.

Our daily and busy lives can do this to us.

But we want to change them because sour moods can crowd out positive thoughts and exacerbate our need to judge, be critical of others or ourselves, and get easily irritated, which can cause our negative words or actions.

Being in healthy alignment with yourself is better because, in the end, you and your caretakers are the only ones that will be with you.

You’re the only one that’s with you (and your thoughts) always, wherever you move or travel to.

Sometimes, listening to your internal guide can be countercultural and a bit uncomfortable when you make decisions that aren’t popular or go with the flow.

And especially if you’re a harmonious or extroverted person who just wants to get along or people please.

That can make it difficult to live in integrity (doing, saying, and thinking the same thing).

Robots will have it easier than us in this way, but sadly the tin man is missing a heart. 🤖

As humans, when our thoughts don’t align that’s when we have a new chance to re-adjust.

Years ago, no one talked about mental health or wellness as part of the daily talk. Now we embrace “knowing better” in our lives.

We don’t have to just take our thoughts (or others at face value) that turn into actions that don’t always get good results and can even get us in trouble in a hyper-sensitive society.

Plus, we have more options to change the channels in every sense. And we’re more accountable.

We need this accountability. It makes us better as individual people and all together in our complex world.

So these are some accountable thoughts and maybe some personal growth homework (should you choose to accept the mission?) for turning sour cherry thoughts into sweet ones.

As a bonus, you’ll become a better person as a byproduct. I know because this is all stuff I went through. It takes one to know one, and we’re all here to figure out our best life and selves.

So, no judgment here (and actually that’s one of the assignments) 🧡 That’s a balanced Pitta way.

Pause on the gossiping:

Here’s the better way: if you wouldn’t share the news with others and the person you’re gossiping about in the room, then find a way to filter and say less.

If you’re not sure, ask.

More likely you’ll just zip your lip and that’s fine too. It’s really that simple. But even simpler is just not gossiping at all.

That becomes an automatic, better way.

When you find you can’t sit and talk in the same conversations with those who gossip, then you know you’ve changed that about yourself.

You end up productively filling your time with better ways that lead to better things.

Learn to not judge:

We never know the full picture of what’s going on with anyone else no matter how much we think we do.

Take the objective and loving-kind stance.

If you want to have an optimal life, the sooner you learn to let go (of judgment) and to stop controlling so much, the sooner that will start.

A prerequisite for this type of freedom (that it is), is to stop judging others at the first judgmental thought that enters and let the negative thoughts pass through.

Quit complaints:

If you say negative things, then you become a negative person when what you really want is happiness.

So if the first thought that enters your mind is to emphasize complaining, that hurts you.

Maybe you’re used to complaining to get your way (and learned the squeaky wheel gets the grease).

But also what’s happening in the process is you’ll be seen as a complainer.

People who don’t complain will stay away from you, so you’re in company with complainers or those who want you to complain for them or their causes, bringing more negativity in your life and less in theirs.

…If you can make these 3 life changes, you’ll be well on your way to a more peaceful life. It’s simple, but not always easy in the beginning.

It takes desire, self-control, and holding yourself accountable. Be patient and easy on yourself. The good news is these traits are changeable with practice.

And if you find people to support your efforts (and let go of the ones who aren’t), it’s easier.

Your supporters are your best allies.

Ultimately you decide what type of life you want to live. You get to decide what thoughts you keep. Copy that. 😉

Heart Healthy Strawberry Quinoa Cereal

Course Breakfast

Cuisine American

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

Red quinoa
Organic fresh strawberries
Almond milk

Instructions

Cook quinoa to soft. You can use red or traditional quinoa.
Chop strawberries. Use organic and fresh strawberries. You can freeze what you don't use in a few days.
Add milk.