Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Turn Past Abandonment Into Healing Growth

Abandonment is not an area that should hinder you or your growth. Your past is not your future.

Shining light through the ordinary things in life helps create awareness and beauty. Awareness can heal past wounds, and trauma from abandonment feelings.

Our brains keep memories and our bodies keep score.

Your past is your past, but your mind processes random entering thoughts inefficiently, without using an organized filing system (where yesterday’s past can be mixed into today’s thoughts like spaghetti strands in today’s meal).

I know from my past that past abandonment thoughts that hadn’t yet healed can quickly muddy your current thoughts and actions.

Resurfacing pain-filled memories can do damage.

Abandonment Is a Spectrum

Abandonment can be one of those fuzzy and invisibly damaging memories that you may not know you have or are holding onto if you your family stayed intact.

That’s my recollection.

On one end of the spectrum, if you grew up in a foster system or were physically abandoned by a parent, that would no question hurt who you were growing up and you possibly still carry hurt in who you are now.

On the other end, if you had small injuries you couldn’t put a label on with one defining incident, that can actually hurt you more because in the invisible (unconscious) you don’t know you need healing.

And if you have unattended wounds, one day, you can get triggered and start snapping at your partner or a close person, subconsciously displacing your emotions, and blaming the wrong person for leaving you or ignoring your wants.

If you’re aware, you realize that how you behaved has nothing to do with them, but all about you and your past!

Psychotherapist, Susan Anderson wrote in a Huffington Post article, that you could have any of these damaging 40 post-trauma effects that include lingering insecurity, anxiety, and shame.

That was my part of my shadow work discovery in a nutshell.

In my childhood, I was invisible.

I felt like a shadow in daily life and on family vacations when I was still in grade school.

That was my an identity memory I held on to until my 20s. And the wound left was feeling unworthy and low self-esteem…

Since then, my scars have been completely healed as I made a point to bring light to the invisible wounds years ago. And as time passed, I knew that what I went through was not a mishap.

Life planned for me to grow up where I did with the parents I had was to help make me a better and whole person that I am today.

To be fully healed and forgiving, helped me to look skin deep and find my second act in this one and only life we have.

That’s the transformational shift that made me take a real-hard second look because I had been carrying clouded insecurities with me in my life, work, and relationships.

Getting to the Root of It All (The Ego)

For as much as I can remember my parents didn’t know how to express love, or give hugs or kisses.

From what I know they didn’t have parents that give them that either.

That was their upbringing in another culture, and growing up in those post-World War 2 times where vulnerability wasn’t a strength (and could be seen as a scandal).

So, my growing up daily around American friends as a first-generation American, I leaned into and went out of my way at time to be touchy-feely with my friends.

Having affectionate expression is especially important when your primary love language is touch (that mine is).

Words are important. Hearing “I love you” comforts the loving part of our mind and affects our deep rooted insecurities.

Love can quiet our primitive ego minds that in any weak moment can deceive and slip us into unhealthy ego fearful thoughts.

If we easily get seduced into a negative spiral, shame trap or think we’re not enough (let alone good enough), we can blame others (or ourselves especially if we’re sensitive).

This is unless in self-awareness, we stop the fearful mind dead in its tracks from the momentary soothing drama trap that we’ve fallen into.

I know I did that for years, I allowed my brain to go where it wanted thinking those were my thoughts. Ha! …but, when you know better, you do better (said the wise poet Maya Angelou).

If the cunning-tricking part of ego in your mind is something you aren’t yet aware about, figuring that out can be a Life Changer for you and save you years of wasting time in negative, unproductive thoughts.

…And when I learned how to transform my mind where the thoughts began, I could be fully empathetic and change any negative script.

In self-therapy with a few good self-help books along the way, I can see my good-intentioned parents. If they knew better, they would have done better.

They are immigrants like so many in America are today. And just by that one-word description, you can guess they had struggles like most of us have, whether we admit to ourselves or not.

So to me, my parents deserve a nice kudos for trying in this one life where we don’t have a manual handed to us.

They could have just stayed behind and never dared to hope and dream.

Instead, they persisted and started a new life in a new land.

They grew up during hardships and heard the sound of bombings living on a Pacific island where they didn’t go to school for several years, sharing some similarities to the pandemic world we’ve experienced in 2020.

They lived in fear during their most formative years when childhood thoughts have a way of settling in deep and for the long haul.

There were 8 in my father’s family where individual wants weren’t met, as their basic needs were only met with limited resources.

They didn’t grow up having preferences and they experienced times when they only had a small meal each day.

After they immigrated decades later, they had to figure out the American culture when they were almost mid-life adults, landing during the chaotic 60’s and Kennedy assasination (a crisis in itself), and the Beatles era where social reform was a norm similar to today.

Learning to drive a car for the first time in a foreign land, and trying to provide for a family of four during a 70’s oil crisis and recession when I entered the picture, must’ve been hard.

From that empathetic lens, I understand why there are only two baby photos of me (and probably contributing to why I love photos today).

They traded one struggle for another. In life’s difficulties, they sought to find normalcy, provide a roof over their heads plus for my sister and I, put food on the table, and raised a family.

All these points I just mentioned, a high ego mind hates to hear as that releases blame.

But if everyone could let go of blame and offer forgiveness for the areas in their life they’re most emotional, heated, and passionate about, we’d have a more peaceful world.

From Abandonment (Victim Mentality) to Learning Abundance

My parents’ mindsets were filled with not having enough..

I sensed their feeling of lack growing up, so I never asked for much and I knew I had to forge my own paths and resources.

I couldn’t live from their paradigms and limiting beliefs and I had to create my own.

And I thought I was on my right path, until I was blindsided that I held an invisible victim mentality.

But that was the cold, hard fact that came crashing down on me when a mirror was shown to my face. I had mixed messages in my mind of my past and current life reality. In my mind, the clouds were in the gray mess.

The Cloudiness In Not Having Defined Labels

On the outside, I was aware I was strong-minded and confident, and on the inside, but I needed past parts to heal that hadn’t been addressed.

I needed clarity out of the clouds.

When unexplainable anger and anxiety emotions bubbled up from nowhere other than a small trigger, I learned how to cope. That’s what we all by default do in our own way if we don’t know better.

I thought that was just the way I was.

As an adult I recalled memories to help me see my wounds. I needed the wounds to scar. A vivid memory I recalled was when we took a family vacation to Disney World.

I remember I was unhappy at the Happiest Place on Earth because we spent all our time at Epcot Center (learning different cultures). Today of course that would be exciting to me.

But in my young mind back then, by the end of day because of my passive whining moves of staying extremely quietness (I never whined, I was invisible!) we ended up at Magic Kingdom.

I was hoping my parents would notice something was wrong with me. My dream came true.

But back then I felt guilty for taking up time and space (my invisible identity kicked in), so I didn’t have ideas for what we would do in the Magical Kingdom. Part of my immature child’s mind was still in shock that we were actually there.

I wished we could have had a more fun family day, but looking back now, I’m grateful we spent time at Epcot and that’s where I’d be today amongst adults if I was at the park.

And maybe that was formed from the memories I had.

But in healthy awareness today, it makes total sense for a child who felt abandoned to have reacted the way I did, especially after I learned decades later there was such a thing as a PTSD of abandonment label.

I don’t like labels as I think they grow the problem, but that’s a good description.

Learning this label exists brought the trauma to light and also reinforces there are others out there who have experienced similar trauma.

Had I known thiat in my 20s, that would’ve saved me years of grief.

Today I’m grateful of the discovering journey I went on to be where I am today.

I’m also convinced you can speed your discovery process up in your life today if you want to.

What Awareness Can Do To Help You

When I became aware, I learned how to speak up more and take up more space.

And I’m grateful I have my vacation memory that helped shape my gradual abundant mindset transformation, that btw, you can change inside you no matter your situations.

I also healed my abandonment childhood wounds instead of allowing my mind to rationalize a past memory as a silly thought I had decades ago. I took it seriously.

By doing this, I ended future material that the ego could have had a field day with (and over and over again!).

It’s best to get it all out in the open to yourself as a real story you lived through, so you can get mind-healthy, and be in control of your destiny.

…Otherwise you can go on living invisibly damaged.

Your invisible abandonment and other childhood traumas can be something you heal yourself from, so your wounds become scars that you grow and learn from, and you become better than when you started. That’s how I feel.

If you have feelings of abandonment, here are a few productive actions you can take today from my lessons learned:

4 Abandonment and Healing Exercises and Freeing Questions to Ask Yourself

1.Witness negative thoughts that arise that turn into negative emotions. Use those moments to ask yourself, “why am I feeling this way?”

Because in most situations others wouldn’t react that way. This can center you to be your own healer instead of wrapped in the drama of your minds’ thoughts.

Question and wonder if your today position in your situations posing conflict comes from the needs and wants you didn’t receive from your past. Likely that’s the case.

2.Remind yourself to distant your Younger Self mind and thoughts from your forming better ones (that turn into attitudes and habits).

You can discover more about how your past is influencing today by doing shadow work.

If you find yourself behaving, mimicking, or sounding like a child reminiscent of when you were younger, then that’s a sign that healing is needed somewhere along the line.

Because having fun doesn’t mean acting like your younger (immature) self when you were younger.

That’s a reflection that there’s a missing piece to grow into who you want to be and become.

Consider if you were playing with a child, you’d play with the child in a way that entertains them, but you wouldn’t mimic to them how you sounded when you were 4 years old, but could change your voice to a Muppet or cartoon character for entertainment value.

In this mature way of an adult acting playful (child-like but not childish), you’re drawing from a present place of creative acting, and not from your 4-year old mind.

Today is a new day, but you have to tell your mind that constantly so it becomes automatic. Also, keep questioning why you act or react the way you do.

The old brain files never get completely deleted but they can show up with new insight and then get re-archived, so the effect they have is more historical fact than attached emotional turmoil.

Think of when you tell your sad story the first time, you may have trouble forming words over tears or anger, but then if you were to give a Ted Talk, by practicing over and over again, the story becomes less traumatic if you keep re-telling your mind-body-soul the story in different, impactful ways (getting rid of every last bit of pain and resentment).

Life is better, and the old you and life are gone, so keep reminding you old brain and self that you’re safe.

And that abandonment was in the past, even if your pain happened last year from a loved one. You’re great and free now.

You’re a new person today and remind yourself how far you’ve come with change and transformation you made.

Keep committing to growth and change.

3.Observe and be aware when you react a certain way that creates discord in you or with others. Is how you’re behaving, rational or fearful baggage you’re carrying?

Because with others, you get a mirror reflecting back to you.

Asking non-judgmental questions to yourself and to them is a better way.

Compare how you would ask someone you didn’t know the same question (in a more guarded manner) and to your familiar tribe where you are more vulnerable, intimate, and the veil is removed.

4.Focus on each person’s positives. We can be expecting more from loved ones, and then focusing on differences instead of the initial similarities.

In long-term relationships, you adopt the others’ views as your own and what you both think, but that’s not the case at the beginning where the power struggle can be debating who is right or wrong and where emotional hurts are announced.

The reason cuts are deep is because you care. And sometimes to be empathetic, you have to let go and not care so much, so that there’s a chance for growth.

That’s how you can grow and heal from childhood wounds.

What if in my story I chose to look at my life as a gift, and that it wasn’t up to my parents to meet my wants and that they gave more of themselves in this world by having me, their second child.

From that perspective, I would release abandonment and blame.

What if you could do that for all aspects in your life that you are and aren’t aware about, wouldn’t that be great?

Final Thoughts

And lastly… if you still struggle to figure out why you’re anxious or have frequent outbursts for no reason that you can’t pinpoint why, most likely they come from your way back past and are tucked away in your old brain and need healing.

You could ask yourself: did you ever feel abandonment?

That could be the start of your healing along with purposeful shadow work.

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Inflammatory Eczema Allergy Foods

Inflammatory eczema allergy foods is something I became deeply aware of when I experienced adult eczema in a nightmarish way during the world pandemic.

Backing up some, I was familiar with the common allergy foods as I planned parties and food menus working with thousands of groups with food allergies and gluten sensitivities.

But heightening my own sensitivities to food allergies showing up as adult eczema for the first time took the cake. It was a 3 month saga I’d love to forget.

Gluten didn’t help as a common offender in food and white flours so I’ll mention more on that below.

White flour is a common inflammatory eczema allergy food source. — White flour is a common source of gluten food allergies and inflammation.

…Another food category was sweets!

That’s probably no surprise as too much sugar can make your skin crawl and no research has sanely suggested that sugar is good for you (other than your taste buds 😋).

But that’s hard news to swallow when you’re a sweet tooth (and a Vata body like me).

…And if sugar-tipped over the edge, then eczema can be the outcome where rashes mysteriously appear around the body.

They stay until the body is calm. It’s not like a mosquito bite where the poison and bite effects fade after a few days.

But I’m happy to say that even though I love baking (and do it weekly), I’ve learned how to bake healthy and keep eczema at bay. And yes the bakes are delicious (otherwise why bother?).

Firstly, I’m a foodie…

And when I started in catering management for upscale hotel chains, there were only vegetarian food categories other than the menu everyone else ate from.

Then common requests grew like “hold the onions” and “hold the garlic.”

At some point, I saw peanut and nut allergies crop up.

When I dug deeper into creating menus for food allergy group requests, we found that guests who had some peanut allergies could sometimes eat tree nuts like pine nuts.

With awareness, we never had a problem with food allergy association groups.

Shellfish can be another tricky area, but gratefully I didn’t work much with those foods.

An affected person who has even a trace of the shellfish can experience a life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis shock.

We always had Benadryl in the First Aid kit nearby for general allergy reactions.

And by the time I was planning party events for busy American restaurants serving authentic Mediterranean cuisine, food awareness had grown even further.

Celiac Disease grew. It’s an allergy disease that can cause severe allergic reactions because gluten triggers the immune system.

And I can attest that gluten in moderation is better even for eczema skin allergy symptoms.

Your body gives different health conditions signs as warning. But a warning is a warning.

It can’t give a sour face. ☹️ Only you and I can do that. But it can give a health condition as a sign.

And the source can be the same ingredient culprits.

And so as we evolved in the world, allergies and preferences became the general norm.

Restaurant servers greeted you at your table asking, “does anyone have any allergies?”

A century ago that would’ve never been asked as you ate what you could and anti-inflammatory eczema allergy foods didn’t exist.

Anti-Inflammatory Eczema Allergy Foods

In my trial-and-error food tasting experiences, I learned eczema was dramatically reduced with low daily refined sugar intake and cutting out most processed flours.

Those foods created inflammation that showed up as skin inflammation.

So learning healthy food substitution to sugar and flour was the healthier way.

And there is plenty of healthy alternatives in our abundant earth and sourcing grocery stores.

Anti-inflammatory eczema allergy foods include vegetables, whole fruits, lean healthy proteins, healthy fats and whole grains.

All grains are not created equal. How they are prepared and the details of their ingredient profiles change the effect.

A frequently asked question is: what foods are high in gluten?

The answer: whole grains are healthy. They’re also guilty.

Wheat, barley, and rye are the sources.

Being smart about healthier low-glycemic index starchy carbs and nutrient-dense foods pays off.

Also corn, oats, and quinoa (pseudo-grain) meals are good ideas since they are gluten-free so they bypass some decision fatigue.

Corn is the largest agricultural crop produced in the United States.

So there are still many options for gluten allergies.

Oh, and we also should consider…

Our different bodies where we react differently.

…What spikes the blood sugar of one person is different for another.

Getting to know your body with individual foods and enjoying in moderation is a good idea for all, and each of us living in our bodies.

Plus, lowering processed gluten foods for everyone is a good idea in general, considering all the environmental factors and chemicals (plastics, pesticides, and phthalates) we have no control over in the current state of food manufacturing processes.

For foods, adding more organic plant-based 🌱 in nature when possible, and not plant-based in factories 🏭 helps your entire body system run better.

Every little bit of our effort counts…

Adding more healthy variety, and nutrient-dense plant-forward foods is a double win scoring points for our bodies and our earth. 🎉

It can be as easy as exchanging pasta made from flour once in a while for spaghetti squash. See easy spaghetti squash recipe below. 🍴🍝

A spaghetti squash dish is a good gluten-allergy substitute. — Spaghetti squash looks like spaghetti but doesn’t have gluten.

Focusing on anti-inflammatory foods and including Mediterranean Diet foods that overlap in your meals, helps.

According to the American Heart Association, The Mediterranean Diet is known to be the healthiest diet overall for preventative cardiovascular health and brain health today.

https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-eating/eat-smart/nutrition-basics/mediterranean-diet

Overlapping with anti-inflammatory eczema allergy foods, focusing on healthy foods is as important as minimizing the bad food buckets, such as:

Processed, white sugar foods

Fried foods and unhealthy fats (such as high processed meats)

Eliminating these excesses from your diet can help reduce and potentially prevent life-shortening diseases and precursor chronic body inflammations from occurring.

These are lifestyle choices we get to make.

Replacing emptier calorie and excessively sweet snacks to healthier whole fruit and nut snacks, high quality dairy, and lean proteins help curb hunger in between meals.

Some foods may be classified as healthy, but are still just as bad. I used to fill up on nutritional bars as filler snacks… but the problem is often they’re loaded with sugar.

I realized I would have been better off with a Snickers.

So I quit the bars habit along with sodas for breakfast.

…Maybe you can relate with your food habits?

I replaced sodas for black coffee and unsweetened teas that are more enjoyable as a caffeine morning practice.

I now do and recommend a cold brew coffee method if you have a sensitive stomach or acid causes issues. ☕️

Changing your habits like a regular sweet one for a plant-based breakfast is doable. I’m living proof. 😊

And I take a page from my catering days where Crudite was a platter offered at almost every event.

That’s basically raw veggies like cauliflower, carrots, broccoli, and asparagus.

Those are good sources of fiber that your body needs to better absorb foods.

We often forget about the fiber as we’ve been primed to think of the macros (protein, carbs, and fat).

So fiber is my prime start of the day… and maybe yours (now)?

The Inflammation Free Diet for Food Allergies

The book I had been using as a guidebook for preparing meals, The Inflammation-Free Diet, re-entered my memory after my pandemic eczema inflammation episode.

I realized that there was a connection bridged between spiking sugar inflammation and foods and that made me even more on purpose for consuming anti-inflammatory eczema allergy foods.

In making healthy food choices, moderation and choosing to balance good back-to-earth foods seems to be the better ageless answer to healthily feed our bodies.

Getting anti-inflammatory food ideas for meals waved in front of us doesn’t hurt either! 😉

Using your natural Ayurvedic healthy body to sway to your advantage helps too.

You could discover your body likes more astringent or bitter foods.

This is common in Kapha body types so lean in on this healthy advantage.

And you can find food like garlic or onions aren’t favorable to your body. But that doesn’t mean you have an allergy.

It could just mean eat less.

Managing Eczema Food Allergy Inflammation

If you experience chronic body or skin inflammations in your life, find out what food allergens could be a trigger for your body. Food triggers change as you age.

Try adding more anti-inflammatory eczema allergy foods like vegetables, fruits, and low-glycemic index grains, and see if those make a difference.

Many people are allergic to nightshade foods because of alkaloids in plants.

As a kid, I would get an allergic reaction when I ate eggplants. A rash would move up my back quickly.

But as life moved, this was no longer an allergy trigger.

So don’t assume what was a food allergy trigger before is still your predicament.

Test in small quantities.

Because we want to keep a variety of healthy foods and food categories in our diet as diversity helps the gut and body.

Plus, foods are enjoyable so we don’t want to rob ourselves.

To better manage food allergies, you can read food label ingredients and gain knowledge and awareness.

Another thing you can do is order a medical food allergy-specific prick test at an allergist’s office.

Also do a self-diagnose check-in on your stress in life.

Stress can come from past, present, or future-related thoughts and situations. Past trauma that you may know about, and future uncertainty can confusingly show up in an inflammation body life.

The symptoms on and in your body tell a story in the mind-body connection.

To help restore balance no matter what the source cause, you can take the 2-minute body balance quiz.

And, enjoy this gluten-free spaghetti squash recipe. One medium-size quash will yield about as much as a pasta box you would buy at the store.

It’s a smart and healthy plant-based way to stretch a grocery dollar.

Spaghetti Squash (Gluten-Free)

I discovered spaghetti squash as a meal when vegetarians were the main special food needs categories for groups I planned catered meals for. Food allergies didn't exist in the zeitgeist back then.

Course dinner, lunch

Cuisine American

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Equipment

Bread knife or safer sawing knife.
Spoon

Ingredients

spaghetti squash gourd
extra virgin olive oil

Instructions

Score the gourd lengthwise. do not try to cut the hard gourd raw
Bake your spaghetti squash for about 20 minutes at 350°F or so. Then softened, you can cut where you scored. Tip: for the ends (like on pumpkins, take the firmly planted inside squash knife and twist to the right at the top and then at the bottom of the squash and that should do the trick break it open fully into two halves)
Face the two halves down on a baking sheet. You can add a ‘lil EVOO if you like.
Bake for 50 minutes or until you can scoop out strands easily with a spoon. You can test with a fork if you like. About half way through, when you see browning, flip the halves so they're facing up, and add a 'lil more EVOO drizzle.
Optional: keep the healthy seeds and enjoy them as snacks! Roast them along when you're baking the squash.

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Real Life vs. Virtual World – Balance Life 80/20

Real life vs. virtual world is a reality today. We felt this during the pandemic when we were on lockdown and had opportunity for more virtual connection. Real life was maybe more home and or outdoor focused.

real life vs. virtual world tips includes healthy home eating — Avocados 🥑 are nutri-delicious and you can grow an avocado plant easily from a healthy seed as a heathy real life activity! 🌱

And the lessons we learned were mostly from our own experiences. They shaped us in our hybrid worlds today in 2025 and beyond.

Today we’re balancing real life vs. virtual world digital life where AI is the new digital movement.

It’s a brand new era of possibilities.

Figuring out your balance is where you will get the best reward and living 80/20 real life vs. virtual world is going to be your healthiest best.

You grow when you get out and meet people instead of staring at digital screens. You may be more productive and scalable on your screen reaching more people, but the connections you make with in-person connections will be higher quality.

They also help you have a happier life and get more restful sleep as you’re not staring at blue screen lights non-stop.

Below I provide some ideas and tips from my own self-discovery of an 80/20 balance from 2020 where I clearly saw the contrast and learned useful real life vs. virtual world digital balance lessons.

Co-working spaces are opportunities to make connections and water cooler chat in real life. Zoom and video conferencing are still opportunities to meet more people in different places.

Adding those two meeting opportunities enriches lives and promotes growth in your life and community.

In the Blue Zones regions around the world (with the highest number of vibrant 100 year olds on the planet), community is a common factor.

Conversations happen in community and provide opportunities.

Offline (real life), I once had a office coworker from another department who had over a dozen healthy plants in her office and as a conversation starter I said to her, “the air in here must be really good!”

She pointed out the growth of specific plants (they were her babies), and how wee-small they were when her daughter was born and now off in college.

Proximity was an opportunity to connect and provide opportunity to tear down department communication walls.

That also inspired me to bring in my own house plant as you can never have enough metaphors in life for growth.

And today you may have your work-from-home living situation. And over time, that can get lonely. That’s also when real life vs virtual world connections have the most benefit.

Lessons Learned From 80/20 Real Life vs. Virtual World

If you want to live more balanced, get more good sleep and enjoy this life while not missing seasons. And if you want to get up earlier, rearrange your bed so that it’s closest to the window. Turn the shades so that natural light comes in at sunrise. That transformatively helps to biohack your circadian rhythm naturally.

When I did this, I noticed I got up 1-2 hours earlier every day appreciating sunrise. Getting sunlight in and through your eyes, wakes you up!

Create boundaries so you can have the balanced, 80/20 happy life you want.

You can count how many days you’ve left your house. And if it’s less than 4 per week, that’s a sign that you’re less than 50% doing real life with others.

And you find that you’re flip-flopped or less than 20% in the real life vs. the virtual world (80% plus), you definitely want to evaluate and change some things so you can “stop and smell the roses” and enjoy your foods, that are not in digital cookies. 😊

That’s what I found my life was becoming back in our social distancing world days.

And now that we are socializing again, it’s still not the same as in the past.

It is reported that Gen Z generations living in this increasingly heavy digital world are reporting their sleep is suffering. Unlike younger and older Millennials (Xennials), they weren’t all born before the internet so they only know the Web 3 and beyond worlds.

These days not having digital boundaries is definitely affecting any of us, so it’s good to be aware.

Counting and gauging your overall daily hours online is a healthy, first-step awareness exercise.

This brings me back to the point of finding the best balance that’s achievable.

Keeping a calendar helps to check your real life vs. virtual world balance. And if you keep a printed calendar on-hand then you rely less on the digital world.

Getting inspiration to go back to at least 60% real life vs. virtual world is a healthier balance, no matter what your type of work is, for an overall happier life. Aiming for at least 4 days where you get out of the house.

Besides running errands, you could sign up for events or volunteer so those are built into your schedule.

Your time on Zoom counts as virtual hours. Meeting for coffee in the real world has a different effect than seeing someone on a Zoom screen.

Connecting to people in the virtual world saves travel time and the value is the idea exchange, growing further, sharing, and collaborating newborn opportunities and ideas with people around the world.

So balancing the two worlds (real life vs. virtual world) is tricky.

During 2020, counting hours helped me to become aware of my own behaviors, and helped influence me to add back real-world life hours and joy in a safe physical environment.

One thing is I learned how to use the manual setting on an SLR camera that’s been sitting in a closet for almost a decade dying to be used properly.

Since applying learned camera lessons, I’ve been excited to take photos again in real life.

Another example is, I learned how to use the dough hook that comes with the Kitchen Aid mixer, where I was able to make all types of low-sugar brunch desserts and foods that I missed when I was at real life brunches.

I invented new smoothies, dips, and Magic Bullet blender recipes

And I discovered new food varieties! Like, I didn’t know there was a Cara Cara orange variety until I infused them in my low-sugar orange scones.

If you’re a Vata like me, you can see and appreciate nature changing and evolutions in the world through food variety.

And when adopting enhancements in your adapting life, you probably have progressed more in your life than you give yourself credit for.

Here are some additional positive examples that happened (that are still relevant and you can try!):

2020 Pantry Stock (Real life vs. virtual world)

I learned how to stock and keep a supply of grocery goods in a closet pantry for convenience (and just in case), that saves time.

While pulling out older items, I took the time to read the nutrition labels and intentionally deciding to keep some of the “bad foods” that’s readily available when we didn’t know if a food shortage could exist.

…They are still joyful foods for kids and we do live in a real world where it’s good to be sensitive to the world’s food insecurities in community, compassion, and empathy, in a kinder-giving and patient world we’re living in and becoming.

Having a pantry helps make you appreciate the real world vs. virtual world.

When you leave your digital device and healthy food interweb searches, you get to compassionately learn that food banks have lines and where more expensive healthy meal planning is not the main goal of the average American household.

And when I think back to Pop Tarts or a bag of Tootsie lollipops (off the charts in sugar content), I stop healthy judgment, and feel grounded from my humbled beginnings.

These have been popular treats since I was a little girl and taught me to change my ways in 2020 where eczema had a life in me. And since then found the better anti-inflammatory eating ways one baby at a time that’s more like a weekly 7 day eczema diet plan to eliminate any flareups today.

I eat less sugar baking my own desserts which is healthy and something I may have never pursued on my own. 🍥

You just never know how tough situations can pan out and bring in better ways… that you organically learn about living through those seasons one day at a time.

And daily to keep focus, whether you use Post-Its or Trello boards (or digital similar tools) for life productivity, those micro choices shape and shift your 80/20 balanced life.

What tool you use isn’t what’s so important, as much as how they serve you and keeping an 80/20 real life/digital balance.

And that’s the same reason why I have a yoga mat permanently laid out on the floor.

It’s convenient and one less step that can prevent me (and you) from doing a productive and healthy habit.

It’s easy to get distracted in our blending real life vs. virtual world where we balance life-work-and everything else.

A benefit of doing the balance is you stay very relevant to all the changes around you and the world.

Balancing helps to not go extreme in either way.

It allows us not to get left behind in the process of who we could become in this world and also what’s happening in the world.

Catching some of the daily news is helpful but not watching or reading for hours is healthy. We keep using what we learn to benefit our experiences.

And blocking out all social media isn’t necessarily healthy while looking at your devices first-thing in the morning isn’t either. So finding that happy medium balance of 80/20 helps.

Here are a few learned tips to view social media and digital communication (in case you’ve been living out mostly in the real world!):

Have patience with tools that drop communication and people not replying back because of busy real, and digital life overwhelm reasons. You can be pleasantly surprised how waiting can lower your blood pressure (it has mine).

We didn’t tolerate slow tech issues a decade ago (faster was a goal), and now we’ve mellowed out. Catch yourself from taking no replies back as a personal rejection to you (always believe it’s a technology glitch, other party personal overwhelm, and not your human glitch!).

Girl, I don’t know you as a reply to a stranger’s DM in social media, is no longer the kinder way you should respond to people reaching out to you in our sensitive #metoo society. Have no judgment.

Some people are unaware as no adult today was born with social media as a daily norm. We’ve all committed to a social media faux pas or two (even if we’re not aware). Kindly react or let someone they know (not you, a stranger to them) respond to them.

And yeah, spam is still spam to a stranger, so unfollow as needed without thinking the Universe is going to take that as your negative energy. Just think, you’re helping spammers (who could be a bot 🤖) figure out who their people are and that so happens to not be you, someone who cares.

Don’t be afraid to reach out with good intentions. Friend circle divides have been broken. It’s now…. do we have anything in common even if it’s just a mutual engagement on a conversation thread? Don’t overthink. Just post and reply authentically so people know you exist.

If you have kind-hearted intentions, don’t feel regret or question whether you should I have posted or commented? Be brave. Sometimes you only get one chance and then the time has passed.

In network meetings, make a habit to act like that could be the last time you see any one person even though there are future meetings scheduled. You just never know and opportunities don’t wait.

Social media is encouraging all of us to embrace each other, our vulnerabilities and differences. Being fearless, collaborating, and taking initiative are how you make inroads and meaningful impact.

You may even discover an interest, passion, or purpose in the process! When you listen to other people’s journeys and how they discovered their calling, you realize that they didn’t set out to do what they do.

They found an opportunity and that took them to their next step action that provided the next step clarity. And years later they have blossomed and can look back and re-tell their passion origin story.

Create discipline for time and space. I found myself pulled into podcasts, social media, Zoom, and other conversations when I wasn’t fully present.

If you don’t need to enter them (e.g. not scheduled on your calendar), then keep staying productive with your main focus task. It could be an activity or it could be staying creative that could be a strategy.

For non-essential tasks, if it’s not a good time or you’re not receptive, come back to those non-real time recordings and listen when you can pay attention to get the most benefit.

Real Life, Work-Life Balance :

I’m very specific and serious about getting high-priority, creativity, and deep-thinking mind activities done in the morning as I protect those golden hours. It’s the natural planner in me.

Then as night falls, I become more flexible about how I feel and anything I do is additional. This leaves wiggle room for being less rigid (quality over quantity).

Like: 8-10 hours work, 6-8 hours sleep, and 8 hours leisure.

Being structured and flexible shapes you into a well-rounded person (generalist), empathetic to the world that’s more needed than ever, and then you add your uniqueness and talents (specialist) to the mix.

You can find your balance and rhythm to do both, in your staying flexible, open, and intentional life.

And if you work or spend most your time at home, creating boundaries is super important. Closing an office door, turning off the television, or shutting down a laptop helps.

Create different room zones that divide activity. Have a special nook for your journaling and reflection time, and a separate area where you exercise.

Even if you’re in tighter quarters like a city apartment or bedroom, you could set a pillow or mat on the floor by the window and that gives you a new perspective.

Defining time and space is more important than the perfect physical space or a large space.

What used to be called “me time” a decade ago (that could sound selfish if over-indulgent), is now prized as self-care in our aware world to what helps to create a successful life. See how the world is coming around 😊

So, keep restoring your inner you and peace, and making micro habit shifts to improve your vitality and grow the relationships around you.

When you healthily re-enter the digital world that never sleeps, you can add more value to your virtual spaces, tribes, and groups.

Set your timer or stack one of your habits.

You can show up adding value and sharing your real-life natural gifts, talents, and mutual interests

And when it’s time to switch back to your balanced 80% real-life (work-life-sleep) routine, put your devices back to sleep. 🛏

Because devices and imbalanced lifestyles, can put you feeling out-of-sorts. Your mind and/or body can feel like it’s in a mood funk from your usual balance, but you can restore your body-mind type imbalances.

I share what I learned from top-to-bottom in one stressful season where I turned to modern Ayurveda ways as a solution that costs you practically nothing and you can do conveniently in your surroundings (even if your home is in a busy city in the Western world) once you know what to do.

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Heart and Soul Centering To Live Your Best Life Now!

Heart and soul is a part of our bodies that we can’t see, but we can feel daily. Pizza is heart and soul food (recipe below for making a heart shaped pizza 🧡).

This sky painting over the water is heart and soul spirit in one. A daily heart and soul-centering check-in can change your life! You could be an old soul or have an old soul like some of us who remember young life before the internet.

…I remember when I first started out working and ambitiously I thought I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. It didn’t take many years before I shifted my priority to wanting better work-life balance.

And with those intentions, I career pivoted that gave me that outcome. But had I not picked my head up to see what my heart and soul was telling me (and now I know my spirit was helping me), I would’ve missed the message about finding time to work on me. Personal growth was something I had to go outside of work to find in volunteering and discovering myself.

It’s never too early to start checking in. Maybe now is a good time to set this priority in your life as you had to rethink parts of your life in 2020, along with everyone else (so you’re in good company!).

There were many external changes made affecting your life, that you had no control over, and may help you later on in ways you may not see how yet at this moment.

So for now, you can just keep going, growing, and focusing on creating the best that your life offers in abundant possibilities that you put intention to until the next step. There’s always a next step when the timing is right.

It’s better to think this optimistic way and joyfully pivot into your forming newer overall life, including work, relationships, passion, and purpose, so you can enjoy the process with greater ease (and not create unnecessary dis-ease or woes-me feelings).

That doesn’t mean you don’t have varying feelings with so many gray areas and small decisions you need to make, but that you’re finding your happier way now in the process (and possibly then seeing through a different lens than the one you may have been previously looking from).

I provide a lasting impactful way to do a heart and soul check-in, further below. ⬇️

Encouragement: Our Society, You, and Your Gained Ideas

In America, convenience is at our fingertips, and many of us started last year to positively lean into our interests, curiosities, and skills development.

You may have learned how to grocery shop differently, cook meals, bake your own bread, and learn new digital skills as a way to communicate with the rest of our virtual world and the local community.

You picked up other life skills that everyone needs so you could stay relevant.

You may have even discovered or rediscovered a few passions and hobbies, and read more books than you sought out originally to do. Those were some of the common gains for many of us.

All was not lost in our home life, and more has been gained (and is being gained) in our overall lives if we choose to focus on the higher lens way of living.

It’s helpful for you to reflect and personally remind yourself of the progress over perfection you’ve made, so you can stay feeling uplifted in your spirit. It’s too easy to get sourly influenced in our culture.

You can be less on guard, open up to your authentic self and reap the benefits in a new era where we’re all finding our way in many ways.

Over the past year especially, you may have changed some lifestyle habits or behaviors that you like, that work better, and that you decide to keep forever.

And you may have gained clarity about what you want in the next chapter of your life. Even though you wouldn’t have done this if you weren’t challenged to do so. But you can use your situation to your good advantage!

You may even have found the better way, and experienced that good changes in your life can show up as a combination of thinking, doing, and feeling what is right for you. You get internal clues and they can help you find your second or next act.

If you took or take your connect-the-dot lessons one step further, you can reflect on how you felt about what you first thought about specific ideas. You can then take another brave leap of action so you can try and replicate best practices and discover even more new ways, as our world is evolving. This creates innovation and gives you a better way of doing things.

For example, you’re inspired to try a new recipe and that seemed to work out and made you happy, so the next time you tweak the recipe and create something new and different that you enjoy. This works the same with a new workout, new route, or a new passion project you’re developing. Variety and innovation keep you making progress!

And that’s how personal growth attitudes and creative progress are fed and can seep into every fiber of your life if you’re open to new ways and ideas.

New ideas can take time to form in the process and as you start dabbling with curiosity, you can become less intimidated to make mistakes. That’s how you grow and learn.

In this forming introspective way of life, you can also dig deeper into yourself to find what gives you more meaning and joy than what you previously found made you happy, as you become more of who you are and will become.

You can also reach higher levels of contentment and then feel fewer emotional ups and downs.

Many positive changes can be happening all at once in this complex life, with yourself and your life.

You may have even re-thought your life’s retirement plans and this year’s optimistic and realistic plans. And you’ve probably learned to be more grounded in reality and to get back to simple basics, focusing on what actually is happening to you and around you.

As a global society, we’re still not able to freely travel and create safe, live events. From these changes, new ways have been born and are birthing, such as the newer apps where you’re entering live global event conversations safely and without travel hassles.

You could use the saved travel time and energy to work on your life, to double down on a new purposeful trajectory, or seek a new mission in your life.

Just one idea can change your life and if you have an extra few minutes, that could be the difference-maker in your life.

So where would you spend those extra minutes? Here’s what I do and what I suggest.

Prioritize a Daily Heart and Soul Check-in

Especially as we’re all distracted, prioritizing a heart and soul check-in can be the best way to (re)focus on your life.

Below you can be reminded or learn to take a specific step for long-term impact and to find your daily heart and soul-filled joy, peace, and balance. Continue reading “Heart and Soul Centering To Live Your Best Life Now!”

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Orange Dream Smoothie – Low Sugar

Orange dream smoothie with creamy popsicle vibes is one frozen treat I grew up around ice cream trucks and drink stands with colorful fun signs.

This sign is orange (and not lemon-ade) like you often see.

And you can make a healthy orange dream smoothie with oranges like these.

And for beverages, the orange flavor is calming to the body.

Oranges calm our parasympathetic nerves that directly impact if we feel anxious or not. It’s also one healthy way to celebrate that we have decadent beverage variety choices when we get a ‘lil creative.

The orange calming factor can give you a new reason to be happy today. 😊

An orange dream smoothie like this will help your calming morning with your breakfast. — Orange dream smoothie recipe below.👇

Your body, balance, and sensitivity to tastes and smells change all the time. What’s good for you in this season may change in the next or even tomorrow.

You can come up with your own creative dream smoothie ideas like I did and stumbled on the creamy dream orange smoothie.

Stumbling upon keeps life interesting!

And this is one sweet and healthy smoothie to add to your list.

As a natural Ayurvedic Vata, I was born with a sweet tooth, so if I think a dessert is too sweet, then believe me… it has waaay too much sugar, so that’s why I came up with less sweet, healthier options!

Especially in America, where foods are loaded with sugars, our healthy taste buds and sense can be off track.

The average American consumes over 70 grams of sugar a day, when 25 grams of maximum recommended added or processed sugar is agreed on by both the FDA and American Heart Association.

While fruit sugar (fructose) is a better kind of sugar, it’s still sugar at the end of the day.

Going From Morning Frappucino and Coca Cola to Low Sugar

In our American diets, we can go over the recommendation in just our breakfast beverage choices alone!

If you like Frappuccinos like many of us do, whether your drink has added whipped cream or not, you’re looking at 50 grams of sugar or more for a 16-ounce drink.

That’s okay once in a celebratory while, but if you order a Starbucks Short size beverage (regular 8-ounce glass size drink), you’ve used up all the recommended sugar for the day… and it may not even be 10 am yet!

And actually, you can see most Americans carrying around the Tall or Grande size beverages (or larger). Our small is often a super size large in other countries.

The healthier order option with no sugar is black coffee or tea. So then, getting back to basics, the only safe beverage out there is water, as pure and healthy… but are they all?…

You can clearly taste the difference between purified waters and artesian waters like Fiji brand water.

The water variety is all sold in plastic bottles and available on grocery shelves, but the cost difference gives you an indicator of the quality difference. And you can clearly taste the difference between Evian and purified water.

In America, you can commonly buy a water bottle case (24-16 ounce bottles) of purified water for under $4.

They’re usually advertised “on-sale” and you can find them in the front of the store when you first walk in.

Higher-end, luxury water brands you can find in the water aisle selections also, but you can expect to pay closer to a dollar or more a bottle.

The good news is most tap water in America is drinkable and many households use a Brita pitcher with a filter or similar.

So as we question drinks such as basic water, we have to wonder about other consumable beverages.

Coca-Cola is known for its evolving trends as society changes and as a popular beverage consumed around the world.

There’s even a Coca-Cola museum in Atlanta, GA where you can taste different versions of Coke served all around the world.

As you can imagine the American Coke version is loaded with sugar (too scary to even mention how many sugar grams per can, but you can look it up!).

In my late 20’s I used to drink sodas for breakfast when it was trendy and corporate offices stocked their refrigerators full of soda cans for employees and invited visitors to grab.

I quit the unhealthy soda habit after a few years in healthy awareness although Coke will always be beloved.

I traded caffeinated sodas for healthier morning teas, coffee, and slowly moved drifted over to water and then added back a creamsicle orange dream smoothie and other breakfast smoothies as better choices with redeeming health benefits… and hopefully this inspires you if you haven’t done the switch already!

If you want more energy and vitality, getting off sodas and high-sugar drinks is a good move. Often they have 40-70 grams of soda per can!

Water can seem boring to taste, but that’s what our bodies want and will reward you for.

You can always mix it up with carbonated water and naturally flavored waters that are enjoyable.

Despite some of our generally unhealthy cultural habits, Americans have made drinking water, chic and cool, as we carry around water bottles to our work and of course to our workouts and yoga.

It’s a comparison observation I made when I was in Rome in 2019 and saw that even though all the public water sources and fountains are deemed clean and drinkable, you won’t easily find reasonably priced water bottles around. …how funny is that?

So, we’ve gotten better at drinking water regularly and not just taking a vitamin supplement or while we work out.

We know that drinking proper water amounts prevents kidney stones, keeps our bodies functioning and our skin looking young.

So on that healthier level, we can make healthier breakfast drinks like a smoothie easily with the Magic Bullet gadget or a blender.

You can add protein powders or if you like bananas, they’re a good smoothie staple.

Bananas have a higher glycemic index that can spike inflammation, but they are rich in fiber, potassium, and B vitamins, so they’re still a good natural super food good for filling an empty or upset stomach.

And that’s what makes this orange dream smoothie irresistible!

When I first made this creamsicle orange dream smoothie, I loved the textured beige-cream frothy color beverage (and maybe you do too!)

The whole orange is much healthier than concentrated orange juice if you want to do a small step replacement for healthy habits.

And a much healthier version than the childhood popsicles that this special creamy orange dream smoothie comes from.

Use one whole orange. A Calfornia navel, blood orange, or Cara Cara navel orange will give you a more balanced sweetness than a Florida orange.

If you can, opt for organic or heirloom oranges especially if you’re using the outside peel or zest that’s a great idea for taste and texture.

Heirloom navel orange peel for ayurveda elixir drinks and creamsicle smoothie drinks is a healthy start and finish if you prefer. — Look for heirloom, organic, or local farmers market produce as in season (free of pesticides, good for us and the environment). This would be good for your drinks, bakes, and even Creamy Orange Smoothie.

The magic add is 1 tsp orange marmalade (add bold sweetness but you don’t need much) or you can stay wholesome with your orange zest only

Add vanilla milk

Also add vanilla yogurt (to thicken) or if you prefer, you can add a banana that will slightly alter the taste but still pair well with an orange.

And ideally you will have a full-on orange dream smootie.

How?

Make some orange zest from one medium orange.

Blend with a teaspoon of marmalade, yogurt, and vanilla milk. Marmalade has sugar so that’s why keeping in moderation is a tasty-good idea for this Creamy Orange Dream Smoothie.

This one tastes like the orange cream popsicle but without so much sugar. If you want to add some protein, blend in fine almonds or add powders.

And if you want to have low-sugar, then eliminate the marmalade and cut down on the orange zest.

Enjoy your cream orange dream smoothie morning!

Creamy Orange Dream Smoothie

Course beverage, Dessert

Cuisine American

Prep Time 5

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

1 orange (a navel or California orange will give you a balanced sweetness)
1 tsp marmalade (add bold sweetness but you don’t need much)
Vanilla milk to thickness liking
Vanilla Yogurt (to thicken)

Instructions

Blend. Zhugh glass rim with orange zest. Enjoy!

Notes

Creamsicle Creative Smoothie

1 orange (a navel or California orange will give you a balanced sweetness)

1 tsp marmalade (add bold sweetness but you don’t need much)

Vanilla milk

Vanilla Yogurt (to thicken)

Make orange zest from one medium orange, blend with a teaspoon of marmalade, yogurt, and vanilla milk.

This one tastes like an orange creamsicle popsicle if you know what those are. If you want to add some protein, blend in fine almonds or add powders. And if you want to eliminate sugar, then eliminate the marmalade and cut down on the orange zest.

Moving on to dessert tea ideas…

Check out other and the latest healthy beverage recipes!

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