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Grow Self-Awareness For Your Happiness (Part 2 of 2)

Grow self-awareness to “believe in yourself” never grows old. That mantra can change your entire day and how you feel about yourself… and still be you, but better!

Be you and believe in yourself are good daily self-awareness mantras.
Be You and Believe in Yourself! 🪞And love yourself with chocolate heart cookies. A health conscious sweet cookie recipe below… 🧡

A few weeks ago, I published Part 1 (of this 2-part series) on using yoga meditation as a way to develop and grow self-awareness for your happiness. And the one thing yoga and your happiness have in common is self-love.

Think about this, you are loving on yourself when you’re focused inward (and in yoga pretzel bends 🥨).

…So first and foremost, love yourself first.

And if that’s what you’re doing, then that love energy radiates and carries over to the (and your) world that needs more light.

And know that the opposite of love is fear. (It’s not hate that can be usually what we’re constantly upset about).

And by knowing this, we can do something about it as we grow self-awareness.

Our ego is built-into our brain construction that serves up internal obscure thought messages to us every day in a “lizard brain” protection way. Triggers turn into threats in the subconscious ego mind and thrives in our dark area where self-love is missing.

So to grow, we want to bring back love to restore.

Ego fear shows up first in our thoughts, so we have a chance then to shut it down, walk away, change our thoughts, and replace with loving thoughts that grow self-awareness and our happiness.

And if anyone you know thinks they’re not affected, then their ego is definitely playing them every day.

As silly as it can sound to our ego minds, telling yourself and believing “I am loved” (or substitute with your fave loving mantra to build yourself up) will eventually kick out the ugly ego imposter ways.

And then you have a concrete go-to way that helps the next time. And you count on that there will be a next time whether it’s later in the day, week, or a few weeks away.

And if this ego idea is newer to you, think of ego as fear and how you feel when you’re scared in some way. Similarly, an unhealthy amount of ego shows up from time to time from some situational trigger, memory, or enemy forces (where ego stands for Edging God Out if you’re spiritual).

And know that ego fear is disguised on a platter to you in your subconscious thoughts, behaviors, and decisions. More serious is when it shows up in you, and that affects others in your actions if the thought is allowed to grow.

So, do yourself good…

Healthy Love yourself more… and stop the ego fear madness!

When you bring out the accumulated baggage in self-awareness that you’ve been carrying around already too long, let it go, and magnify self-love, then you’re on your merry way to personal happiness.

I wrote a special Valentine’s Day personal happiness article on self-love (the most important love relationship you can have, and that’s no hype!)… so, enjoy and I’ll leave you here with some tasty chocolate biscuits 🍪 for your own sweet inspo.

chocolate almond heart cookies recipe.Print Recipe

chocolate almond heart cookies.
Print

Chocolate Almond Hearts

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

  • 1/3 cup melted coconut oil
  • 1 egg, room temperature
  • 1 tbsp honey (or maple syrup substitute)
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1-1/2 cups almond flour
  • 2 tbsp coconut flour
  • 1/4 cup cocoa powder (use 70% or higher dark cocoa for added antioxidants and nutrients)
  • 1/2 tsp salt

Instructions

  • Mix dry and wet ingredients together.
  • Refrigerate for about 15 minutes.
  • Roll out cookie dough. Add bench flour as needed.
  • Bake at 350°F for 12-15 minutes.
  • Let cool and then dip in melted chocolate. Refrigerate.

Pursuit of Happiness In You

Pursuit of happiness is inside you.

Are you in the pursuit of happiness? Chickpea pie (like the one baked in love above) makes me hap-pea. And happiness is for a moment that’s different than meaningful joy.

This is a life area I think many people these days are redefining as their expectations for happiness fell short at least in the past few years.

And they don’t know what to do to change that as an undercurrent running in their minds as external situations are getting tougher.

If that’s you, be encouraged you’re in good company. We’ve all had to change situations that we didn’t choose.

And I’m gonna share some nuggets on how to help change the tide (and how I changed my ways).

First of all, I can totally relate to a chain of disappointments. And that’s how I got to see them as God’s appointments.

I was dealt some lemons… and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t who has lived this life for at least a quarter of a century.

Losses, unhappy situations, and failures are hard to swallow (and doesn’t help the pursuit of happiness). But going through is the fastest way to get to the other side. We often slow our progress by having pity parties. I know I did until I finally caught on.

By being aware you focus on the positives so you can thrive and not dwell on the same stuck feelings and thoughts that come back like a boomerang.

Your mind-body remembers, and so every February when nothing was going on… I was reminded of what wasn’t going on that I could’ve buried earlier if  I knew what to do.

But waiting seasons are needed, and that’s how I gradually learned how to flip the switch in not getting what I wanted. And trade that in for contentment and deeper joy, which produces feeling good.

And that’s what those who seem to have it all on the outside, don’t have…

I started out my young adult life wanting the same desires and dreams that most people have: a corporate job they are successful and feel good about (or at least aren’t feeling miserable in), a family of their own, good relationships, nice stuff, a college degree or two, and financial freedom.

These were the same sort of accomplishments many in the Washington DC metro area I grew up in, had.

But being in a high-pressure cooker environment that feeds into high-achieving egos didn’t help. That encouraged more of a self-absorbed life that turns into unfulfilling boredom and unhappiness.

After a while, I snapped out thinking, “there’s got to be more to life than just this.”

And while I had scattered bits and pieces of that old life description that carried me through my earlier years, that’s not the life I have now.

But what I do have today is a different proud lens to look out from, that’s everyday contentment. It’s not the same happiness lens that I used to aspire to that became a never-ending, up-and-down roller coaster ride.

…I hated that lifestyle based on external situations because the down was always a hard fall and a huge contrast from the going up feelings that felt good for the moment.

The problem with that is that you’re always chasing the next thing and high that seems better. It’s a bottomless pit because the feeling can never be satiated.

In this life, we always grow weary or tired of anything after a while. A good thing never stays good the same way for us. Everything is temporary, as are feelings.

But if you’re feeling deeper joy (that comes from the spirit) inside you every day, that’s sustaining for the soul (mind, body, free-will, and emotions). We can’t change the way we’re wired as humans.

And you’re not your mind-body that drives your thoughts and feelings, even though you make the decisions.

So what helps to feel good every day is to be productive, just like you need good sleep every day so you have energy.

And joy energy is needed to get more out of this life so you can show up creative, and have enough to give out to others.

Here are a couple of good idea reminders:

1.      Tune into the better daily channels for inner peace.

So if you’re like most in the pursuit of happiness, pay attention to the channels brought in, both external in what to listen to and watch, and internal thoughts aligned with the spirit (the whispers that bring out the joy).

Since I’m not in pursuit of the happiness that I started my life with, I listen to my inner desires.

Sometimes I’m a tired Vata because I don’t stick to an exact sleep routine (…good to get to bed early and get your proper ZZZ’s I tell my Night Owl self). But that’s all fixable with a cuppa joe and the next night’s sleep.

…What’s not fixable is waking up and focusing on the wrong desires (or strategy of life if you want to be more concrete).

And so when I get going, I have purpose and joy inside me that I get to make progress and impact in the day, and have meaningful work. I do life my way with freedom and space… and without pressures that sink in that create stress. I set a schedule that works for me, and when I get paid I can do more of the things I love. 🧡

That’s not how it was when I settled in as an employee. Or when I was starting out on my own.

If this or your dream life is more what you want and it’s not what you have today, start by figuring out how you can build that life by taking one baby step at a time. And then you’ll get more clarity from that step and in the next step.

See how you can get a few extra hours of time and freedom to do what you want.

…And then you won’t have regrets about your work life when you look back at the years that went by.

That was a big driver for me.

And looking back, none of the past work situations are relevant to the actual work I do today, even though they propelled me forward to keep growing and use some of the experiences gained for my next moves.

And not even the budding small business blog I had back in 2009 that took me back into a new corporate working life. And guess what?… yours truly here is still blogging today on more meaningful topics. ✍️

Your life doesn’t have to stay in the same lines it started in. No one says a straight-line work path to retirement is the best life except for culture and critics. If you take a life-changing sabbatical at 35 you get to take all that gained information you gathered and use it for the rest of your life.

And eventually, every situation and everyone’s situation changes.

And that’s more evidence that situations good or bad, happy or sad, are fleeting. What’s lasting is YOU who has come out with more knowledge and experiences. And maybe good memories too.

In the process of tough circumstances, trials, and setbacks, you become more resilient, patient, content, and learn what this life is more about so you can lean into what is good for your life that produces happiness.

And that brings me to a deeper #2…

2.                Find out what God wants from you

…And as my life unraveled I realized I was chasing the wrong dreams, and some led to problems and that helped me find my new life dreams.

And then even some healthy dreams that I was successful at and growing didn’t pan out because the timing wasn’t right (which means God wanted me somewhere else).

So, I’m actually writing a new book about finding this newer life (that everyone can)… and how to more easily co-create and get to fulfill bigger plans and heart dreams that were promised in your design before you were born.

…And in my old life, I always had healthy achieving desires. But they weren’t the exact ones that were designed for me by the Creator who created it all. His plan takes faith, belief, and patience. There’s a process.

That’s what I’ve come to know. And that’s the opposite of the “if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” mindset and lifestyle I grew up in.

He has a unique plan and bigger dreams for each of us that needs a different higher internal lens to discern. And being in the pursuit of happiness and following what culture defines as success doesn’t help. But having daily wisdom, joy, and peace does.

The book is one of my new year’s goals. We need a revolution of good change (that’s the new resolution) to be able to thrive in our exciting, new world emerging in today’s happiness.

And in your new year pursuits and heart’s desires, maybe you decide to rewrite your pursuit of happiness goals and align them to the written stars for you and who you’re becoming. 🌟

OH, OH, OH… and Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! 🎄

Healthy Christmas chocolate peppermint heart cookie inspiration made from warm ginger spices and coconut oil (used for better heart-healthy cholesterol than butter).
Reminder of my past hotel catering life. Hotels always get decked out with Christmas trees and holiday poinsettia plants.
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Baked Chick Peas or Garbanzo Beans (or Chic beans) Pie

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

  • Chickpeas, drained
  • Olive oil
  • Salt

Instructions

  • Bake to liking.

Healthy Gingerbread Cookie + Balancing Kapha Mind

I planted a healthy gingerbread cookie tree on this Silpat baking sheet. Recipe below ⤵️

Healthy gingerbread cookie trees are rare, and even this time of year when everyone is talking about lighting the Christmas trees.🌲

gingerbread oat cookies.
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Easy Chai Oat Gingerbread Cookie

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

  • 3 cups all-purpose flour (with oats)
  • 1 12 tsp baking powder
  • 34 tsp teaspoon baking soda
  • 14  tsp teaspoon salt
  • 1 tbsp ground ginger
  • 1 34  teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 14  teaspoon ground cloves (or 1/2 tsp of allspice if that's what you have on hand)
  • 6 tbsp unsalted butter (or substitute with 1 TBSP coconut oil)
  • 3/4 cup dark brown sugar (reduce to 1/3 cup for less sugar and still have a delicious and nice cookie!)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/2 cup molasses
  • 1/4 cup oats

Instructions

  • In a large bowl, add dry and wet ingredients.
  • Melt coconut oil add to bowl.
  • Roll out cookie dough to about 1/8" to 1/4" cookies.
  • Bake on 350°F for about 10-12 minutes.

I share the traditional old-fashioned recipe (below) that I’ve been using FOR-ever and that I spiced up even more this year! XOXO

Every year is a ‘lil different, and as a creator, I like to challenge myself to make new creations and not stick with the same cookie cutter ones over and over again… haha. As a healthy recipe developer, that means evolving into even healthier bakes.

And this helps me so that I keep outta Kapha imbalances in the kitchen. Btw, the level of Kapha dosha is relative to each of our bodies, but eating healthy, balanced meals always helps to prevent trouble down the road…

Which is part of the natural order that this life is… it’s not a matter of if… it’s a matter of when. And you can stay on the healthy side starting with body-mind awareness.

One of the symptom intersections is your feelings that constantly shift. They help guide you, and other times steer you down a rabbit hole.

And if you want to stay feeling peaceful, joyful, and happy (and be productive) all the time (…like when I’m relaxed baking healthy gingerbread cookies), then keeping the Kapha mind balanced is important.

Some examples of what will make the difference are your steadfastness to boundaries. And your commitment to yourself and to others involved. And finally, plowing through and making it easy on yourself in everyday situations that come up.

And that all starts in the mind.

So… when negative thoughts enter, dismiss them by replacing them.

The problem for many people is they don’t even know when they’re getting pulled down by negative information and thoughts…well, because that’s their mind.

And we don’t naturally challenge our own thoughts. That’s not something we’re born knowing how to do.

What most of do learn is how to challenge other people’s thoughts and opinions. Sound familiar?

Especially this time of year when it’s easy for stress to settle in trying to get end-of-year goals accomplished and fit into holiday-hoopla 🎉 that can be overwhelming for the mind-body. And not always bring out the best in us.

Our mind-body is connected in such a way that if you have a Kapha mind where you’re stuck in negative strongholds, feeling lazy, or find yourself accumulating clutter, that can easily turn into a couch potato Kapha body imbalance.

One easier way to know if a Kapha imbalance is causing our negative moods is if we’re feeling depressed or withdrawing from certain activities we’re usually drawn to or have been in the past.

And as we know, the ego tries to fool us, so to outwit we have to be doubly smart, pausing before reacting and making wise choices that influence our day.

Those stubborn Kapha mind mood tendencies can linger. But if you know what to do, you can get out of excessive Kapha faster and into feeling good. And erase hovering dark clouds that can easily become your weekend. Or gradually settle in for a season if you’re not careful.

But we can change this pretty easily one choice at a time…

We can turn off the external negative messages and listen to more uplifting ones. And that includes shutting off the news after getting the accumulated hour-or-so daily scoop.

This subtle shift helps for subtle situations…

For example, you could be having a bad morning where everything seems to go wrong and deciding in your mind that it’s going to be a bad day since the start was rough.

But by allowing uplifting thoughts to enter in to influence the rest of your day or lean into gratitude for what you DO have, that will help brighten your perspective that becomes self-fulfilling.

I know that can sound pollyanna-ish, and is not always easy if you’re in a miserable situation like a job you hate, or a living situation or relationship that isn’t working out.

BUT, you can better program your mind to work for you. If we can walk and chew gum and think thoughts at the same time, then we can do this! We are capable.💪

One way we can help ourselves is having a consistent activity where we’re learning and improving. That takes the focus off of our thoughts. You may already do this.

In the activity that calls you, you don’t want to miss a moment in what you’re doing. This improves your skills and helps your head game. You then look forward to the activity in your day that helps your entire day.

And something else you can easily do…

Change your environment. Maybe you start doing your activity in a warm, sunny spot. That can be outside. These days, there are no limits to where you can work or catch a break as we’re a virtually remote society that can access anything anywhere.

As a Vata, I like to mix up where I work. I use a desk, a closet, outdoors… it just depends on my mood. And that’s how I get things done productively: I change my scenery options.

And maybe that’s you… or you like the same zone you always are in as that’s your designated spot. And if that’s you, then maybe having a photo or a reminder of something to look forward to in the future like some R&R or an adventurous trip, will also help.

And if holiday overwhelm is taking over these days, let the reason for the season keep you grounded. Let Scripture verses provide comfort and wisdom, and help guide you.

And stay cozy warm uplifted and listen to cheery Christmas music 🎼and jingles… and better yet find your creative outlet. Get into your groove.

For me, this last weekend was partially about creating healthy gingerbread cookie dough.

And a Chai Oat healthy gingerbread cookie was on tall order to provide more holiday baking inspiration that’s both healthy and happy.

I wasn’t the only one as the Cookie Wars marathon was all over the media networks. And gingerbread was one of the themes like every year… it’s nice to be able to count on some things!

healthy gingerbread cookie

And I’ve been using the same base recipe that’s more happy than healthy.

This original recipe has been with me since 2004 when I printed it out. It was adapted from a Joy of Cooking recipe.

And I’ve been tweaking it up every year.

And backing up, decades ago, it was common to use shortening for cookies and Southern sweets, so finding a butter recipe with 3 grams of fat per cookie was a big deal because that’s what people cared about (the fat in calories). These days, we know there are healthier fats we can use to bake with…

So, I’ve evolved this once-a-year December recipe using coconut oil to give a nice consistency and dough to work with.

I added my notes in ( ) and below to my enhancements to this collaborative recipe. 😊

Easy Chai Gingerbread Cookies

3  cups all-purpose flour (add oats)

1 12 teaspoons baking powder

34 teaspoon baking soda

14 teaspoon salt

1  tablespoon ground ginger

1 34 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/4 cup oats (optional)

14 teaspoon ground cloves (or 1/2 tsp of allspice if that’s what you have on hand)

6  tablespoons unsalted butter (substitute with 1 TBSP coconut oil)

34 cup dark brown sugar (reduce to 1/3 cup for less sugar and still have a delicious and nice cookie!)

1  large egg

12 cup molasses

You can mix this all in one bowl. I like to bake on 325°F because cookies bake quickly. This’ll be about 15 minutes but it’s good to watch the oven.

Mental Health Matters For Your Happiness

Mental health matters. We are learning this slowly when it has been there all along.

Gluten-free energy oatmeal raisin cookie bites are a sweet one-bowl bake: oats, raisins, applesauce, baking soda, and egg. Printable recipe below 🍪

We can see proof in our culture. A wake up call and mental health revolution is needed.

Because those who need serious help, hide their depression and sadness. And especially at work where we wear a mask.

They’re not likely to call a support helpline even if it’s just 3 numbers because their mind is not telling them to do so.

It starts in the mind. And that’s why animals never have that issue, because they don’t have that mind feature.

Prayer is needed for these people, situations, and any disorders. 🙏

The less we make mental health a stigma opens up the conversations. We can be compassionate, allow vulnerability, and acknowledge depression within a safe space.

And it’s critical to get and keep our own sanity in check because we are not robot machinery. We have a built-in subconscious ego feature that is on 24×7 and influences our thoughts daily.

The feature can go awry if we don’t stay aware as a first step.

In #MentalIllnessAwarenessWeek, this is a good time to do a mental health check to recognize regrets or sadness held onto from the past and into the present.

You don’t have to live in trauma. So many of us have undetected PTSD.

And you can bring that out by being less busy, finding more quiet time, journaling, shadow work, and praying.

Below, I share some of my lessons learned and how I applied them to life.

But first, let me set the big picture stage of what will make the biggest happiness shift and difference in your life…

It’s your fighting for your most healthy mental self because it drives the bus to everything you do and think to be the best version of you.

It’s your empowered happiness that I’m passionate about and why I even wrote a published book on the topic with that exact title Empowered Happiness.

The first chapter is Love Yourself First.

That’s why mental health matters most. Because if you don’t love yourself, then you’re hurting yourself.

Regularly checking in on your daily mental health habits and looking at reasons why you’re spending time doing something specific and taking proactive action matters toward your life matters.

Because often objects are closer than they appear. You can’t see the invisible air in front of you.

We don’t always see ourselves close up even when looking at a mirror. We can be myopic and then become blindsided looking in the rearview mirror.

It’s much easier to make changes before they become our way, mindset, and habits.

We want to find daily inspiration, enjoyment, and activities that light us up. That helps us keep our mental health in-check.

So often we operate from insecurities and fears, instead of flipping the script to love and abundance.

It’s no one’s fault. We set off innocent as babies and then the world shows up that we need to protect ourselves from hurt, pain, and threats.

So then our subconscious mind spins what we need to do to survive in the environment reality.

We aren’t chased by tigers but a triggering message is the modern equivalent to our brains. And to keep us “safe,” our brains replay the message over and over again until the mind threat disappears from brain view or is replaced.

Managing our minds is critical for our healthy lives and regularly replacing thoughts that don’t serve us.

Think of a factory line where the items come down the line (and those are your thoughts) and your job is to evaluate and eliminate the faulty items (non-serving or negative thoughts), leaving the good items (healthy serving and loving thoughts) to pass through the line.

And those thoughts pass better results for your productivity, relationships, and daily health.

Those are just a few areas why mental health matters most. It starts with our thoughts.

Some changing thought benefits:

For one, you can stop yourself from making a knee-jerk reaction to something your ego feels is right to do at the moment, but isn’t the wisest move.

*Lean on lessons learned from your past is the best way for your present.

💡Did you get the results you wanted in situations that you wished turned out differently? If not, what part did you play in the outcome. 

Learn from those and try not to repeat them. Life is forgiving. It will keep serving you situations and each time you have a chance to change your outcome.

The misalignment is often  ego-led choices. We see this in disconnects in our world and in our own lives.

If we turn to loving sources and thoughts, we move closer to our abundant potential (and not further away).

Unhealthy ego pride (that goes hand in hand) can be a source that blinds any of us.

Humility is the love call fix every time in those cases. It’s much easier when you have a simple protocol to follow and can re-direct the complex mind.

💡You can ask yourself: am I being humble in this situation? 

We all call out what’s happening as observers of our thoughts. Because under the radar, our ego loves to remind us about remnants of the past that were take away from us.

It likes to hide and block out healthy information. When its unhealthy, it stronghold binds and show us unhealthy information that we can choose to walk away from and ignore.

By catching your ego self from taking action, you have the ability and the opportunity right then and there to practice changing the thought channel to a healthy one, and re-writing an unhealthy automatic thought pattern…

Mental health matters and check-ins help daily peace and joy.

An example is I had memories pop up about choices I made in the past that affect me today. And that’s pretty natural for most of us.

But instead of letting those thoughts go on and on like I used to, I chose to rewrite the ending to a good factual truth. And I voiced it aloud so it was louder than my ego.

Eventually it got the hint and left. That’s what’s needed.

Applying lessons learned wisdom from your past is a great start.

[This wiser than ego ability is in your wheelhouse. You were built with higher intellect. You go from ego to eagle 🦅 that soars higher than any other bird out there 😉].

You can also find a healthy motivation. Mine was I didn’t want the negative energy to spill over into the next week. And that’s a good one!

I know it sounds easier said than done especially when you have every right to be hurt, upset, or irritated.

But if you keep practicing finding ways to be aware of your thoughts and actions, and your why is to not create more strife in your life, it will also be palatable and simpler to do.

You won’t be debating with yourself so much with what to do. Your wise decisions become more clear and you are more aligned with yourself and your mind.

This creates better outcomes than protecting ego… that remember, likes to scream thoughts in your head.

Mental health matters as depicted in this scream painting by Edward Munch.

Using mantras help.

Finding catchy clichés that we can use as a positive trigger like ”two wrongs don’t make a right” or a loving Bible verse may be all that’s needed to find a better way… at least for the moment.

And each time you’re teaching yourself to do better.

And when you tune into the higher love channel, you can see past another’s offense and get their perspectives when they communicate… that translated is their lack or hurts that never got healed (and still show up today).

And if you don’t know why you can’t do the above steps or rise above a situation, then often it’s something in the past keeping you. So start there.

Otherwise, you can unknowingly stay in a victim mentality and not be a victor in your life. That was one of my lessons learned in discovering abundance.

The game changer is getting to the other side. The air is lighter and more clear. It’s not rainbows and sunshine, but you have a new perspective that gives you better outcomes. 

You have new ways to handle and process situations that arise. Life is meant to be an adventure to gain experience, grow, and enjoy. And when you can embrace what you have gained (vs. losses), then you no longer are a victim to yourself.

That’s what healthy thoughts can do and why optimizing mental health matters.

Take it easy and have a happy week! 😊 Enjoy a healthy bite and I’ll see you next week! 🧡

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Easy One-Bowl Oatmeal Raisin Energy Cookie Bites

Course Breakfast
Cuisine American

Ingredients

  • 1-1/2 cup oats, dry
  • 1/2 cup raisins
  • 2 oz applesauce
  • 1 tsp total baking soda and baking powder
  • 1 egg

Instructions

  • Mix ingredients and scoop or roll into balls.
  • Bake on 350°F/180°C for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown edges.

Notes

oats, raisins, applesauce, baking soda, and egg

Mindfulness Over Ego For Your Happiness

Mindfulness is awareness. And it’s on the path to your happiness.

Have you ever had a bad dream that set you off for the day?

That’s how I felt early on over the weekend. Despite the dream, I ended the day well in mindfulness with a sweet 2021 Netflix movie, Long Story Short (have you seen it?).

The witty romantic comedy movie has good meaning about appreciating your life and those around you, just in case you’re looking for an uplifting movie. 🎬

But back to where I was…  

Before I got to the pillow that same night, most of the day I felt irritated.

The ego in my mind was trying to get the better of me and steal my happiness.

You may know, the unhealthy ego wants to take over you and spin lies in your head (and it tries to make you believe in your mind that anyone who believes that is full of nonsense, in case you’re not aware of your ego just yet).

You can look at a behaving ego as a separate channel that you frequent when you need a healthy dose of self-esteem or a boost of productive motivation.

But most of the time you want to stay clear and reject fiery-ignited ego thoughts running in your background, as its destructive power can get you in a hot mess at its worse.

Like it can be a wildcard as it showed up at this year’s live Oscars where anything can happen. 

Or it can leave a bad mood when it’s mild (like I had). And it can show up as an Imposter, and make you think (and made me think): “I’m not enough.”

It will lead you and your life for as long as you’re still under its spell.

I share because I think it helps to know.

And it happens if you’re not carefully aware and just letting thoughts run their course. The way a lot of innocently unaware people operate. And that’s how I used to operate.

But now knowing better, I still had this mood that tried to damage my self-esteem and derail me from being productive.

The robbing ego thoughts just kept at it… so I didn’t write for a day at all as I thought it would be disingenuous writing in this feeling “not enough” Imposter-minded state. And even though I’ve contributed to hundreds of articles and publications, some on Apple news feed with millions of monthly views

…So what did I do instead? I turned the news on and was humbled in empathy by the sad world news happenings going on.

That lasted a few hours and then the ego gremlins came back, and again I was wrestling with a sour mood.

Par for ego’s course, it even tried to block my taking steps to reach for the healthy restoring Ayurvedic lifestyle things I know to do. Like the ones that work to stop the body from further irritation and moods.

Ego keeps you from taking productive action and even wanting to pray. It detests the idea of mindfulness because then it dies.

And it skips over words and activities that would help you. It wants to keep you down.

This sounds severe, but the reality is this is how a lot of people are these days in brain fog and not knowing what to do (if anything).

It’s hard to snap out of moods immediately, even with an evolved mind like I believe I have now. Plus, it was a sunny day outside. 😊

Specifically, I was hit with that lazy thinking-feeling. You know that mood when you don’t want to do something. But you know if you do, you’ll come out better.

So then I took another step. I could only sit on the couch for so long. I broke out of following my ego-driven thoughts into managed thoughts and read a few paragraphs from A New Earth, a self-help ego book.

That book only makes sense to me now.  But years ago it didn’t when I was still processing Eckart Tolle’s earlier book: The Power of Now. A great read by the way.

I align those book lessons to Scripture verses like “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 

See, years ago I learned that ego conveniently stands for Edging God Out, but back then hadn’t connected the dots fully.

Those days, seeing out from the lens of ego, I showed up in pride typical of the area I lived in and did not see any regretful situations I was part of or needed to find forgiveness for. Even if they were just hurting me mostly.

Ego talk didn’t resonate with me back then because I was being played by my ego (and most people are with their ego in some way in their lives).

But not today for me. And not this recent time, where I wised up in mindfulness. That came from experience and wisdom even when I didn’t feel it just yet.

Sometimes it can take a day to take effect even when you’re conscious. But, a weekend was longer than I was willing to wait– not wanting to lose a day. 🌈

How To Get Ego Aware In Your Life (From Mindfulness)

Harmful ego shows up invisibly and doesn’t want you to know that your life could be so much better and those around you if the negative filter spin or misperceptions of reality was lifted. It loves being critical and skeptical.

It preys on the weak and vulnerable moments like when you’re too busyhad some kind of trigger, or have a bad dream as I had. The smallest things can set it off.

It’s not a person’s fault. It’s a fault in humans when it has gone bad.

Just remember, ego works its way in at any time, in any thought situation, and in anyone who has a mind

And I think is the most powerful or dangerous weapon on the planet. That’s billions of us walking around with this running machinery.

Calling it out in the present moment awareness slows the motor.  And eventually pulls the plug until it shows up again.

Awareness is the first line of defense.

And it’s in your ability and control to manage. 

Finding a simple distraction can be a good way. Taking a walk or shower…

Or meal prepping as a mindfulness break can swing the pendulum back to productive or loving-thought moods. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

And if you believe the next day will be better, it will.

My Next Day…

That’s what happened to me the next day. I wrote in flow. It’s this same flow where the unhealthy ego leaves and creativity emerges. You’ve probably heard of this flow-business or experienced it before in your mindfulness passions or activities…

For me, that’s an hour of writing for what could’ve taken me all day or at least hours. 

After the words flow through, it’s pretty much forgotten. That’s part of staying in mindfulness.

And if you’re ever considering writing a book…

That’s also one of the common reasons why it takes so long to publish (…and anyone who has, knows this).

The mind has already moved on to another new topic

And it took me a year to read over my own work many times agreeing authentically again to the meaning of my flowed through written words, before publishing.

That’s my jam, but if writing isn’t yours, you have other usable, maybe even more fun skills, abilities, and talents. And you can use them productively today living your best for today.

And tomorrow you can question if there is something more important you could be doing in this life. Because in constant mindfulness, and wanting to not waste time, you’re going to live a better life. 

Oh, and one final thought on this…

Chef Jose Andres came from being a comfortable foodie restaurant chef and evolved into a humanitarian World Central Kitchen founder.

He’s an example of using a healthy ego for good purposes.

And our healthy ego and pride can do that to motivate us to take the next steps and make good contributions through us in our daily lives.

For all of us, it’s where life leads each of us. And once in a while, reflecting back and being reminded of coincidences and memories to feed the healthy ego.  Like I once worked as a marketing manager for a similar Spanish tapas restaurant a few blocks away from Chef Jose’s restaurants (those were the good food days 😋).

And ultimately, it’s not what we do but how we do it and who we become. Life’s a marathon, so don’t worry if you haven’t figured it (or most things) out. Choose to have a healthy mind and believe for good things to work out, and they will.

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