Uncertainty can be made certain when you cook dishes you canβt mess up like shakshuka that always tastes great.
Start your day with a healthy morning breakfast like this Shakshuka egg-tomato dish And balancing Ayurvedic spices that you can use to help restore your imbalance. Recipe below.
Most of life is uncertain. Some days we have some certainty over planned future events and in yesterdayβs events.
But we have uncertainty about tomorrow and sometimes what will happen today.
And uncertainty can come with all sorts of flavors and emotions.
Some uncertain days are filled with excitement, so those are double bonus⦠and are often few and far between over routine days. But that gives us a buffer so we feel the good effects compared to the previous nothing-special happening days.
And on uneventful days, itβs good to be grateful for our own contentment good.
That will get rattled up eventually with the sudden news that changes the direction of our day and possible season.
The way to best handle every situation is to find your joy. And if there is none that a sad or stressful situation can bring, then shed the cleansing tears and find peace. No matter what.
β¦Because the situation will happen regardless of your misery or staying calm and happy. So why not lean into the healthy positive expressing feelings that your body will reward you for?
Plus, you make more sound decisions that way.
A decision can be as simple as whether to react or not react. Because whatever our actions are, especially when others are involved, there are consequences.
And my best advice for you in uncertainty is if you donβt know what to do, donβt do anything you could regret until you know what to do.
Then bringing this to your awareness, an answer follows at some point. Itβs not an automatic response like a knowing that comes with practice and habits and then builds confidence the next time.
Trained professionals know what to do in their specialties, and you know what to do in yours, but not necessarily in theirs.
And when you take an action or make a reaction from a place of peace of wanting to give, then you know youβve done your best.
So often we take action because someone else has projected the situation onto us and put the burden on our shoulders. Itβs our modern protective job (since weβre not running from tigers) to evaluate objectively.
And not always jump on what is asked if the hoops are the wrong ones where we donβt set boundaries. And we end up resentful or bitter about what could have been handled differently.
Give yourself first the chance to think: What are the facts? What do you know about the entire situation that may have a history?
And if we can sleep on the idea over a night or two, then we see how we feel after we think or pray about the idea in peace and meditation which can be starkly different than the knee-jerk reaction. Time and rest allow for wisdom to enter instead of our worry-fear actions.
β¦Which BTW, this is a great life skill habit to learn and practice.
Weβve all had examples and some practice over the past few years. Our worlds were shaken by the disruptions of the global crises we all experienced on our planet from climate to pandemic.
This led to the greatest uncertainty that may end up being the most in our lifetime.
The toughest unique situations we each had to individually go through may still feel like open wounds. And those are maybe ones we donβt want to think about since we just went through them and are still processing.
BUT, the healthiest thing we can do is to not delay and think about the effects on us this year. We each had trauma of sorts and we want to prevent post-trauma effects that our mind-bodies will cling onto.
The trauma could have been the change in jobs, relationships, losses, lifestyle habits, and where you live, or all of the above. Or that youβre still in those situations. And the bottom line is: there was and is uncertainty.
And on top, there could be fresh wounds mounding on top of older ones.
All of that is part of the adult life. And when youβre super tested during difficult times to take on additional stressors, you can choose to feel like throwing in the towelβ¦ or you can look at the upside!
Your tough trials, situations, and setbacks get you ready for whatβs on the other side.
So in the mud, find the hope vision. That could be as simple as recalling the thoughts that when youβre down, thereβs nowhere to go but up.
And when youβre feeling Kapha tired, you plow through anywayβ¦ not because you feel like doing the work or task, but because you know youβll feel better after you do. And youβre looking for that victorious after-burn feeling!
It always gets betterβ¦ and thatβs not cliche if youβve already lived to mid-life.
In the down, you become the resilient person that is needed to appreciate the pot of gold if you fight for your own victory thatβs inevitable in your beliefs and if you donβt give up.
So today and every day, find a ray of hope and glimmer. Borrow from nature that hums and runs 24-7 without pause on any part of the globe.
Where I was the year before the pandemic started, was working in close-knit quarters. I was at large-scale annual events where as many as 100,000 global members were invited. And I traveled internationally more frequently than non-existently.
Working in my local offices, I recall appreciating the time I had working remote for years prior in my early 30s. That also made adapting to 2020 life easier.
β¦Similarly, leaning into your positives in your situations can be your saving grace. Recalling your past that helped you in the tough times and today can make you feel that all will be well. And it will!
β¦Itβs that same knowing from experience, that if you have a bad day, the next ones will be great.
Focus on those optimistic thoughts and look forward to your next steps.
Find your blessings amid uncertainty. Staying in joy is going to help you not lose precious years of productivity.
Maybe look at life as a learning opportunity?
Each year comes with different situations and dreams. And you want to keep your head high and ride the cloud through the stormy and silver linings as though every opportunity is a joy to learn something.
And when you look down, you notice that the ground below you offers a chance to jump on a new landed opportunity and experience.
Make this year a triumph in how you see life and learningβ¦ and maybe someone you know needed to hear this that you can pass this on to, especially since we just passed Mental Health Awareness month thatβs now part of our every month.
Youβre never alone. And life is on your side.
And one thing you can control is keeping your joy and restoring your balance preferences with your spices.
You can restore your Vata, Pitta, and Kapha balance with Shakshuka
Course Breakfast
Cuisine lebanese
Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets
Ingredients
eggs
tomato sauce
coriander or cumin (cooling)- Pitta restoring
red pepper (heating) - Kapha restoring
oregano and tarragon - Vata restoring
olive oil
Instructions
Add your tomato sauce and EVOO and leave 3 dips to add your eggs. Cook until sauce is thickened about 10 minutes. Add the spices you want using your nose as to which you want to add. Your preferences will change because your nose knows to balance your Ayurvedic dosha that needs balancing related to your moods (e.g. tired, anger, anxious).
Bake dish at 350Β°F/180Β° C with spices about another 10 minutes.
Silver linings is where you can find your joy. This blog article is all about that. You may remember the Silver Linings Playbook movie that came out after Julie and Julia that not only happened around my first blog and inspired this blog and this cranberry sourdough recipe. Sourdough and tart cranberries are a divine pairing.
Dreamy tart sourdough brioche inspired dessert is the new pound cake. The sour tart fermented cranberry taste is good for Vatas!
And nothing better than cake bread (aka brioche) that gives you the best of both worlds. This one is inspired by a Baking with Julia cookbook. Sourdough can be added to breads, pancakes, and any bakes. It can be sweet and not just sour.
For bread, you can use the proofed starter as the leavening agent. For cake add baking powder and baking soda (or an acid like lemon juice or apple cider vinegar). These are for easy weekend bread cake that you can enjoy.
Add sourdough starter to flour of choice (all purpose flour works best but for healthy you can use gluten-free flour, almond flour, and/or a mix of flours).
Add fresh or drained frozen cranberries.
Add additional flavors such as nuts, bananas, chocolate chip swirl if you desire. Think of the flavors you like to add to pancakes. Blueberries would be healthy divine too!
Bake as you would for golden brown cakey-bread.
And if your current situation or circumstances arenβt ideal, or youβre not at a point in your life to feel happy (or may apply to someone you know), you can still confidently get daily joy that is better than happinessβ¦
Because joy is constant and reliable. Happiness is not. Itβs black and white.
Joy is guaranteed when you know what lens to look out from. Itβs about YOU and your self-development.
And relying on joy can help you wean away from happiness that we learned at a young age to strive for. Back then, even all the board games like Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, and the Game of Life were setups for winning as happiness. When someone wins, another loses.
The problem with continuing to believe happiness is dependent on outcomes and situations is that when there is a let-down disappointment, our ego is crushed. And that can create sadness and a roller coaster of emotions.
Thatβs where joy and happiness can be at extreme oddsβ¦
Theyβre not interchangeable emotions. They have completely different meanings. And for children, joy is not yet a concept that can be grasped.
Having experienced both sides of the coin, I know Happiness is fickle. Itβs a feeling thatβs as reliable as the wind. The ego in any of us can trick and spin the truth to make us believe what we think we want thatβs not the best for us.
The problem isnβt the once-in-a-while ego meter going up, itβs the person whoβs drowning in egoism who never looked in the mirror to see who they became. And that hurts them the most.
Theyβre lonely and sad under the hood, and bitter about certain topics because they didnβt take the effort to self-develop and be self-aware. They donβt see what the world sees about them that hurts relationships. Itβs an individual choice to live an abundant life or a limiting one.
And when the ego is running healthy, it keeps us fully living, productive and protects us a little from getting hurt in the world.
Getting your what-is-true barometer on is healthy.
And as part of being true, thatβs how I learned happiness feelings never last. Itβs always temporaryβ¦
Yesterdayβs memories fade. Tomorrow always has some uncertainty for all of us. So then whatβs left is today.
What we do today is all that matters. If we focus on the past, that builds up our unhealthy ego where the pain is. A book I always recommend on this is The Power of Now (by Eckart Tolle).
Staying past or future-focused can egg on our unhealthy ego especially if it lands in our selfish behaviors that end up hurting other people.
So when you look at the flip side and the good easter egg side of things of today, then youβre on the better JOY track. The feelings of Easter celebration can be lived out daily, year-round!
Sometimes it takes external happenings and stimuliβ¦ to light up any one of our 5 sensesβ¦ to get the internal sommersault mind-body feelingsβ¦ to then turn the salty tide in our day or weekendβ¦ but thatβs all healthy compared to the alternative.
Then when youβre back to your healthy self, you have the opportunity to catch on in observation and awareness to how joy works for youβ¦
Another way is to mindfully focus on the silver linings of your situation. A positive outlook can get you through quicker. And through is the fastest way.
Letting go of how things will shake out is letting go of the ego that wants to be in control of everything good and bad. I know from experience because that was one of the lessons that took me the longest to learn. And Iβm glad I went through.
I did so with time. Gradually, I could see why what I wanted initially for some things got re-routed and turned out better in the end and on the other side of the process.
You donβt usually see it right away, but give it enough time, years, and decades, and itβll become apparent.
Thatβs where wisdom is that outwits ego and what looks good on the outside.
In wisdom, if youβve ever been shielded from a situation only to learn that had you been part of it, your life would have been impacted and lessened, then those gratitude moments in the silver linings can help you to see that life is on your sideβ¦ and has been all along.
Believe that doors shut are silver linings for a better future you canβt see today. Itβs easier if you believe that what happens is meant to be. And find out how you can use your current situations (and not the someday dreams) to be healthy, improve yourself, and do good in the world.
Not dwelling on self-pity avoids letting the ego have a field day with negative thoughts. It works the same with gossipβ¦
Gossip is the optimized ego doing the negative talking. So if you want to practice quieting the ego, step out of those partisan conversations to quiet the mind.
And if you practice more daily joy and gratitude instead, then you can better discover the healthy ways. Sounds pretty easy, but most people (β¦maybe besides you and me ), donβt try to help themselves and their day because it requires change.
β¦But for anyone whoβs trying and wanting to know how to (and maybe desperately) get more joy, they could start with asking: what brings simple joy to me, like a simple but effective cup of tea or a nature walk? Thatβs easy stuff.
And then in joy overflow (or tea in hand ) gradually move towards reflecting on what their (or your) life is becoming as a subtle reflection of who they (or you) are becoming.
It takes seeing how the fruit in their life is growing today (and not living off the memories of the past).
The daily fruits are ones we can measure and witness. And we can help grow these from the internal fruits of the spirit or fruits of growing character that weβve gathered.
βCharacter is power.β -Booker T. Washington
And anytime someone feels stuck, they can always open up to the miraculous Universe thatβs always ready to listen, unlike our human being species. And reaching higher out can help build internal fruit to produce more external fruit.
Know What Brings You Joy and Calm
So when you know how to activate the skill of daily joy feelings without fail, thatβs something you can pull out of your back pocket anytime you need to for instant day improvement.
When I have joy I know because I sing along with songs playing or else I listen to certain songs to create the joy. Or Iβm in Dancer yoga pose.
Which btw, if youβre feeling joy, youβre also feeling calm.
Calm lets you be present enough to find joy.
The opposite is worry or anxiety, anger, or even excited nervousness.
Calming down first and not being preoccupied with emotional turbulence allows you to tap into your joy which takes mindfulness and active present state participation.
Hearing the sweet sounds of your surroundings, such as birds chirping, palm trees swaying, and soft ocean breezes could be indicators of your present state (and part of the silver linings in earthly living).
For someone who doesnβt have calm and inner peace, the external sounds of constant dogs barking, babies crying, or motorcycles roaring, can be disturbing and perceived as extra loud. For someone whoβs in a state of peace, those sounds represent life and are less affected. Just something to consider. And when you have your calm that can help produce more joy.
Work freedom is possible if thatβs what you want. Keep in mind that you are in control of your ship and the experiences you are gaining today will be part of what you need in the future especially if itβs a creative one.
If you could have more work freedom in your life, what would that look like?
I describe freedoms below that I think would make all the difference in the world in work life balance, time flexibility, and to unleash creativity in your life if thatβs what you want.
Thatβs what I wanted.
β¦And if thatβs what you want, you deserve in this life, so your work future is worth fighting for!
Each of our personal desired versions of work freedom is different.
For me, like many of us, itβs not having a boss. And, being able to create my own schedule deciding when Iβll show up. In 2019, I started my humble self-employed journey after I left my last corporate job and office life.
2019 corporate life
As far as Iβm concerned, I retired from my corporate career for good. Before that, I reported to many bosses with the exception of a few years in between when I dabbled on my own doing consulting work where I felt most empowered.
Some workplaces and bosses were good enough for a little while, and others, wellβ¦ letβs just say they arenβt for everyone.
All of us who have worked know what thatβs like for at least part of our careers where we may have stuck it out as a stepping stone to climb the ladder or as a bridge to our next venture.
β¦Or to take a different turn. Iβve done all of the above to eventually move toward my better work freedom.
I know that not having the pieces fit together in the dozen or so roles from my first, second, or even third corporate career helped me realize thatβs what I wanted!
Every pivot made me more intentional about what I wanted my work life to look like.
And not having a mentor but instead becoming one, helped me realize I didnβt want to work for anybody EVER again.
I started out in corporate hospitality and working with catering management, so foodie likes is up my alley. And then I went into other office management fields.
Dutch baby pancake recipe below.
But I had to take that windy journey in the corporate work world to confidently know that, and what Iβm capable ofβ¦
And to also know that you can be excelling at your job that looks good on paper, but not be fulfilled.
Looking back, I realize those experiences made me the person I am today whoβs resilient and not gonna settle for less than what the whole life has to best offer in every season (God willing!). No experience goes wasted.
And in my last corporate job, I had this whisper that couldβve been a billboard sign because it was that loud to me as by then I was used to following whispers that others often miss or ignore.
In my mind I heard, I would not get this time back. And from that point on a cascade of work problems followed where I knew I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
The only way UP was OUT. And then I got my time freedom back. Once again I felt cage-free to pursue new opportunities.
And I know Iβm not alone in how I feel here because even the conservative peers Iβve talked to in their mid-careers who left jobs prematurely before they thought they would, said they felt a weight lifted off their shoulders when they gave their notice.
Feeling good was a sign that a right decision was made. And every time I gave my notice, thatβs how I felt.
But that satisfying feeling fades into now what? that gradually replaces excitement.
This is where people differ. Some would run from misery to insecurity and others would stick it out and stand firm for security.
And you know where you stand on that.
In the years I started in the workforce, workers didnβt leave jobs as they do for mental health and happiness reasons that are recognized these days.
Our younger workers today value health over stability and moving away from discomfort and into promising ideas and possibilities.
The workforce generations today have amped up the employersβ game where bosses canβt get away with the same toxic behavior or red tape antics they used to without a backlash or being caught on camera.
And I think thatβs great that our society is moving away from that type of dysfunctional workplace.
So #1 is creating work freedom away from the wrong kind of bossing.
And #2 is freedom from stress or anxiety.
As someone who valued work-life balance in her 20s, I also believe reducing stress is underrated and needs more stressing these days.
Having lived through stressful work situations, I know enduring stress can be the cause of so many health problems and arising mystery ailments.
I think stress reduction is even more important than sleep because if youβre tired, your body crashes. With stress, it could go on quietly for years without visible detection and a remedy.
Our bodies do their best to try to daily whisper to us in headaches, our skin, and even our bathroom life.
But if we ignore the signs for too long, the wear-and-tears become loud. And in those anxious-filled stressful seasons, we arenβt running optimally as our self-care and immunity defenses go down.
Not to mention our creativity isnβt reachable.
β¦And creativity I believe is where our happiness is. Itβs the passion we can control, that gives us freedom.
When we can birth new ideas or re-create old ones for new life, our body cells are happier and that radiates through our daily life, outlook, and how we feel about ourselves.
Donβt you beam from to ear-to-ear when youβve contributed and acknowledged (or have been recognized by someone) that those new ideas came from you?
That uplifting feeling creates space for opportunity and opens doors for hope, more achievement, and possibilities that we all aspire to in our lives.
But most workers never get to that sweet spot.
I know I didnβt because of all the work constraints and limitationsβ¦
And the answer isnβt to quit your job necessarily. The answer is to add more playtime in the quality free time, doing the creative things that light you up and youβre passionate about. And maybe those activities become your next season.
A few hours could be an enjoyable weekend afternoon. And then let those happy feelings and memories carry you through the tough week ahead if thatβs what you face.
And then look forward to the next free future playtime afternoon.
And if you find that youβre skipping off from work to do more of that, then maybe thatβs a sign.
Because having been on both sides, I now know that not doing daily work that inspires you gets old.
The new could be: if today were your last day (not at work, but your LAST DAY), would you be happy?
β¦And if the answer is no, then coming up with a plan to do more of those passionate things or to discover more of what you want to do is going to help get you to your happiest place.
Explore creativity and develop your gifts, talents, and abilities. Remember, you wonβt get this time back. And this season will end.
Not all plans come to fruition, but youβll never know something better or your highest achieving potential self if you donβt try.
Take some risks and do projects that you want to do more of or explore to see what you like at both work and in your personal time.
With a more enriched life, you can dream new and better dreams and start heading in the new re-routed direction that becomes your NEW LIFE.
And eventually, if you keep pacing slowly, inching toward what you figure out you like, youβll be doing more of what you want and not what was old in the past.
Like a butterfly that struggles to get out of the chrysalis, the creatures that we are, in determination successfully make it out.
Believe that in yourself.
Thatβs so liberating!
In the humble beginnings, like most, you pay the price of being inexperienced, and then the price is paid and life gets better with experiences.
And Life is unlimited. And you see it as abundant.
And once you get a taste of the potential and the genie is let out of the bottle, you know youβll never go back to the old, lesser ways.
OK, and finallyβ¦
# 3. Mind freedom is another freedom worth gaining when you have work freedom. Itβs another one that slips under the radar (and can cause stress).
But, with mind awareness, we know we can change our happiness from the inside out.
For whatever life and work freedom youβre yearning for most, mind freedom is something to create space for in yourself first to be successful.
It grows when you make mindset shifts from old ways, beliefs, and attitudes, and rewrite daily thoughts and doubts.
Because so easily, what is within our potential reach can easily fade if the mind isnβt daily reset, in-check, and our motivations (our why) isnβt prioritized.
So often our busy situations and demanding lives can get in the way and make us tired and lazy. And thatβs how we get stuck while our clocks keep running.
So having your why and what defines your work freedom can keep you moving toward your north star.
And keep you from going back to the old thinking ways that are meant to stay in the past that got you to where you are today.
Keep pressing forward in your life and let that forward motion become your guide in life to greater freedom and happiness.
β¦That includes a passionate, purposeful life of creativity if you want that, where you get to express your human you-niqueness and contributions where work is joy.
Have you ever noticed how certain scents bring joy to your face? Or that warm blanket spritzed with lavender that reminds you of a yoga mat or relaxing moment that instantly makes your troubling life situations better?
Using those olfactory memories and the comforting things available to us, can help us to make it through our dayβ¦ and sometimes is all we need to get inspired again. Thatβs all-so Ayurvedic!
One sweet spice way that we can capture daily is in our scents. I like to keep around a few perfumy bottles even though I rarely wear any. But I like to catch a citrusy sweet whiff every so often. Bergamot and citrus light scents donβt last as long as others so keeping them close by is a good idea.
And if youβre a Vata like me, cinnamon spice is one of your faves. Also, vanilla scents and sweet oranges like that from a California navel or Italian blood orange.
Celebrating the orange scents here on this tableβ¦
Can you guess what orange is here? Itβs a Cara Cara orange.
So on those notes, these are a few of my go-to perfume aromatherapy scents for balance.
The heavy-knock-you-out-cold perfumes are a thing of the past. The kind your grandmother probably wore. And what my mom wore. Those memories are hard to erase.
But for everyday living, these two eau de parfums are more appropriate.
J.Lo Live β the version I bought is very citrusy. I stumbled on the perfume when I had extra minutes (hours) in an airport and decided to make use of that time by finding a good scent. Good idea, right? And this one was the one that got my attention. Yes, itβs Jennifer Lopezβs (J.Lo) Live. And it also comes in a pretty bottle.
A good perfume is like a good dress. When you try it on, you know if itβs The One as you canβt stop grinning from ear to ear.
Viktor&Rolf β Flower Bomb is da bomb when it comes to scents, me thinks in me-time (that was how I thought in my youthful fun self)
Btwβ¦ do you ever wonder why you canβt smell certain scents thatβs more about you liking a perfume scent one day and not-so-much the next day or next season?
There are a few reasons:
For one, as mentioned, the citrusy ones donβt last in the air too long. While they calm your parasympathetic nerves (and help to lower cortisol stress levels), they only last a few hours depending also on what other scents they are balanced with. So itβs fading daily along with bottle age.
And the other reason is⦠you!
You donβt smell them because you have a heavier imbalance in another dosha. But donβt worry, that can easily be restored back in a day or two. And the right scents can help put your day right back on track.
It always comes back to your Vata, Pitta, and Kaphas.
Let me explainβ¦ so since Iβm a Vata, sometimes I canβt smell the citrus scents strongly. And so I gravitate towards maybe a woodsy or florally scent or a stronger sandalwood burning trees scent. And that would indicate to me that I have a Pitta imbalance. Rarely these days, but back in my corporate work days that was the status quo. β¦Until I found a better new normal balance.
So primarily these days I like the Vata scents because thatβs my natural body.
And if youβre interested in learning more about the intuitive body and how it can help you in your daily life and balance, then take the 2-minute Body Balance Quiz.
There is one scent in particular that I use to instantly know if Iβm feeling balanced.
Wanna know what that is?β¦
I use another Viktor&Rolfβs scent called Bon Bon. Itβs in a cute, hot pink cylindrical bottle. Hot pink was my favorite color growing up β¦and now everybodyβs fave.
β¦I Love how our society is becoming so close-knit and we see eye-to-eye on the important things
So, hereβs what I know.
When this candy scent is too cloying or sickenly sweet to me, then I know that my Vata is off. It has a burnt caramel scent to it that isnβt always likable. I figured this out while wearing it one day when I couldnβt wait to wash it off. Thatβs what happens.
ANDβ¦ maybe Iβve inspired you to pull out your scents to test.
And if you ever wonder why you like a certain personβ¦ it could be the way they smell. Years before our society adopted Ayurvedic balance, a co-worker of mine wore Cliniqueβs Happy. And every time I was near her, I was happy!
My day was brightened and I distinctly felt calmer. And now I know thatβs because of the concentrated citrus orange notes. Once a Vata always a Vata!
So, if you want to be around more people like you, wear the scents you like. And if you wanna balance yourself out and attract your opposite, wears the scents they would like. β¦Just a scented meeting people advice note I thought Iβd leave you on.
Are you in the pursuit of happiness? Chickpea pie (like the one baked in love above) makes me hap-pea. And happiness is for a moment thatβs different than meaningful joy.
This is a life area I think many people these days are redefining as their expectations for happiness fell short at least in the past few years.
And they donβt know what to do to change that as an undercurrent running in their minds as external situations are getting tougher.
If thatβs you, be encouraged youβre in good company. Weβve all had to change situations that we didnβt choose.
And Iβm gonna share some nuggets on how to help change the tide (and how I changed my ways).
First of all, I can totally relate to a chain of disappointments. And thatβs how I got to see them as Godβs appointments.
I was dealt some lemonsβ¦ and I donβt know anyone who hasnβt who has lived this life for at least a quarter of a century.
Losses, unhappy situations, and failures are hard to swallow (and doesnβt help the pursuit of happiness). But going through is the fastest way to get to the other side. We often slow our progress by having pity parties. I know I did until I finally caught on.
By being aware you focus on the positives so you can thrive and not dwell on the same stuck feelings and thoughts that come back like a boomerang.
Your mind-body remembers, and so every February when nothing was going onβ¦ I was reminded of what wasnβt going on that I couldβve buried earlier if I knew what to do.
But waiting seasons are needed, and thatβs how I gradually learned how to flip the switch in not getting what I wanted. And trade that in for contentment and deeper joy, which produces feeling good.
And thatβs what those who seem to have it all on the outside, donβt haveβ¦
I started out my young adult life wanting the same desires and dreams that most people have: a corporate job they are successful and feel good about (or at least arenβt feeling miserable in), a family of their own, good relationships, nice stuff, a college degree or two, and financial freedom.
These were the same sort of accomplishments many in the Washington DC metro area I grew up in, had.
But being in a high-pressure cooker environment that feeds into high-achieving egos didnβt help. That encouraged more of a self-absorbed life that turns into unfulfilling boredom and unhappiness.
After a while, I snapped out thinking, βthereβs got to be more to life than just this.β
And while I had scattered bits and pieces of that old life description that carried me through my earlier years, thatβs not the life I have now.
But what I do have today is a different proud lens to look out from, thatβs everyday contentment. Itβs not the same happiness lens that I used to aspire to that became a never-ending, up-and-down roller coaster ride.
β¦I hated that lifestyle based on external situations because the down was always a hard fall and a huge contrast from the going up feelings that felt good for the moment.
The problem with that is that youβre always chasing the next thing and high that seems better. Itβs a bottomless pit because the feeling can never be satiated.
In this life, we always grow weary or tired of anything after a while. A good thing never stays good the same way for us. Everything is temporary, as are feelings.
But if youβre feeling deeper joy (that comes from the spirit) inside you every day, thatβs sustaining for the soul (mind, body, free-will, and emotions). We canβt change the way weβre wired as humans.
And youβre not your mind-body that drives your thoughts and feelings, even though you make the decisions.
So what helps to feel good every day is to be productive, just like you need good sleep every day so you have energy.
And joy energy is needed to get more out of this life so you can show up creative, and have enough to give out to others.
Here are a couple of good idea reminders:
1. Tune into the better daily channels for inner peace.
So if youβre like most in the pursuit of happiness, pay attention to the channels brought in, both external in what to listen to and watch, and internal thoughts aligned with the spirit (the whispers that bring out the joy).
Since Iβm not in pursuit of the happiness that I started my life with, I listen to my inner desires.
Sometimes Iβm a tired Vata because I donβt stick to an exact sleep routine (β¦good to get to bed early and get your proper ZZZβs I tell my Night Owl self). But thatβs all fixable with a cuppa joe and the next nightβs sleep.
β¦Whatβs not fixable is waking up and focusing on the wrong desires (or strategy of life if you want to be more concrete).
And so when I get going, I have purpose and joy inside me that I get to make progress and impact in the day, and have meaningful work. I do life my way with freedom and space⦠and without pressures that sink in that create stress. I set a schedule that works for me, and when I get paid I can do more of the things I love.
Thatβs not how it was when I settled in as an employee. Or when I was starting out on my own.
If this or your dream life is more what you want and itβs not what you have today, start by figuring out how you can build that life by taking one baby step at a time. And then youβll get more clarity from that step and in the next step.
See how you can get a few extra hours of time and freedom to do what you want.
β¦And then you wonβt have regrets about your work life when you look back at the years that went by.
That was a big driver for me.
And looking back, none of the past work situations are relevant to the actual work I do today, even though they propelled me forward to keep growing and use some of the experiences gained for my next moves.
And not even the budding small business blog I had back in 2009 that took me back into a new corporate working life. And guess what?β¦ yours truly here is still blogging today on more meaningful topics.
Your life doesnβt have to stay in the same lines it started in. No one says a straight-line work path to retirement is the best life except for culture and critics. If you take a life-changing sabbatical at 35 you get to take all that gained information you gathered and use it for the rest of your life.
And eventually, every situation and everyoneβs situation changes.
And thatβs more evidence that situations good or bad, happy or sad, are fleeting. Whatβs lasting is YOU who has come out with more knowledge and experiences. And maybe good memories too.
In the process of tough circumstances, trials, and setbacks, you become more resilient, patient, content, and learn what this life is more about so you can lean into what is good for your life that produces happiness.
And that brings me to a deeper #2β¦
2. Find out what God wants from you
β¦And as my life unraveled I realized I was chasing the wrong dreams, and some led to problems and that helped me find my new life dreams.
And then even some healthy dreams that I was successful at and growing didnβt pan out because the timing wasnβt right (which means God wanted me somewhere else).
So, Iβm actually writing a new book about finding this newer life (that everyone can)β¦ and how to more easily co-create and get to fulfill bigger plans and heart dreams that were promised in your design before you were born.
β¦And in my old life, I always had healthy achieving desires. But they werenβt the exact ones that were designed for me by the Creator who created it all. His plan takes faith, belief, and patience. Thereβs a process.
Thatβs what Iβve come to know. And thatβs the opposite of the βif itβs meant to be, itβs up to meβ mindset and lifestyle I grew up in.
He has a unique plan and bigger dreams for each of us that needs a different higher internal lens to discern. And being in the pursuit of happiness and following what culture defines as success doesnβt help. But having daily wisdom, joy, and peace does.
The book is one of my new yearβs goals. We need a revolution of good change (thatβs the new resolution) to be able to thrive in our exciting, new world emerging in todayβs happiness.
And in your new year pursuits and heartβs desires, maybe you decide to rewrite your pursuit of happiness goals and align them to the written stars for you and who youβre becoming.
OH, OH, OH⦠and Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
Healthy Christmas chocolate peppermint heart cookie inspiration made from warm ginger spices and coconut oil (used for better heart-healthy cholesterol than butter).Reminder of my past hotel catering life. Hotels always get decked out with Christmas trees and holiday poinsettia plants.