Personal Growth Archives - Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Let In Some New Light ✨

Letting in light in your life is a bright way to your future (and to let go of the holding back past).

Someone needed that.

…I know I did.

On my life journey, letting go was not a natural skill of mine.

Even through my 30s, I let my mind embellish on the past.

For better or worse.

Better is good past and happy memories that are meant to be kept and linger on. Because happy thoughts make a happy day.

And good is good, so don’t mess with good.

…But some days, I would let my ego run circles around me, ruminating in sour thoughts.

That’s what most of us do unknowingly, until we catch on and decide to exercise our healthy mind’s power.

When struck, rumination sometimes used to take up hours if I was lucky, possibly a whole day, or rob my entire weekend while I kinda did something else.

These days, I snap out and decide to change thoughts much faster, sometimes within nanoseconds with mind self-awareness.

That btw I was never taught. And most likely, you were never taught.

But one day (where I can’t pinpoint the exact day or year), it happened.

It was a gradual light bulb that turned on in me.💡

It started with self-reflection and self-awareness.

And that’s where any of us can begin.

But realize there are different kinds of self-awareness.

The most common type that made its pin drop on the map (and hopefully is part of you and your practices 📍🗺️), is the self-awareness kind where you know how you come across to others in work, personal relationships, and encounters with strangers.

It’s when you’re not just doing or saying whatever is on your mind.

…A very important skill to have in better relationships.

Because being thoughtful and thinking-before-acting in safe environments breeds kindness, humility, and all the good qualities that people want to be around, and especially for employers seeking new employees that customer face.

It separates us from animals that act on instincts in any surrounding.

And self-awareness is one quality described in the hospitality quotient (soft skills) that Shake Shack’s owner Danny Meyer came up with for businesses looking for their next employees.

One that I can personally relate to having managed hundreds of events in several DC restaurants.

And maybe you waited tables or worked in customer service which I think is one of the best training grounds for prioritizing demands quick on your feet.

So that’s one type of common self-awareness.

Then there’s another kind, the (deeper) thought-mind self-awareness, that helps you out the most. And helps others secondarily.

It’s a must-have skill for those who want to improve personal and life development.

This is where you catch all your thoughts.

And kinda like when you’re reading a nonfiction book and you’re aware of your thoughts about what you think of what you’re reading. You know if you’re being judgmental or if what you’re reading is helpful to you.

You’re forming thoughts about new thoughts coming in.

And similarly when you’re not reading, thoughts like this enter throughout your day, invited in or not.

Most thoughts are either loving or fear-based and unloving.

…Positive or negative themes.

…Helpful or not helpful.

And your thought-mind self-awareness (quotient) I’m describing here is determined by whether you can quickly label the thought as black-or-white (and not leave as gray-fuzzy), as an Observer with a capital O for an important role in life.

Like when you set filters in your inbox to decide if certain emails are worth ruminating or elaborating on.

Negative and unloving past thoughts (like junk messages) are usually not worth your time because they are time hogs and reel you down emotionally… unless they help you noodle something out to your next growth step.

Worry is another thought category. It’s another way to ruminate especially if it’s a go-to habit. But incessant worry is unhelpful and unnecessary.

Instead getting to the root of worry thoughts help you problem solve and come up with better answers.

And after you’re aware why you’re worrying and have come up with a few ideas on how to handle the situation (you’re worrying about or that could arise), you’re best to let it go, pray it off, and change your thoughts.

This is one way to exercise your power of healthy mind self-awareness… and so that you can get to the higher thoughts that lead to bigger dreams you want to manifest in YOUR life.

…And also so that you can be healthy, whole, and thriving,

And as you learn to better let go of unproductive thoughts that don’t serve you today and bad parts of the past that the younger brain recorded, REWRITE your ruminating thought endings as they enter.

Give those fuzzy past situations a happy and successful ending.

That lightens your load.

Like, you got an “A” and not a “D” on the project, or you turned your knots in the stomach into challenging yourself into an experience that made you into a better you today.

Let in the light to replace what you’re letting go. This allows fresh, new, and healthy ideas to birth… and old, tired ways to die.

But hold on, it’s not so easy… your ego doesn’t want those sad thoughts to die, so it will keep finding ways to drudge up past thoughts and make it stick to you like wet plastic wrap.

Be aware of your ego, and l’ego!

You have to be super intentional and aware to peel off ego’s thought and ways and disassociate, or else the same wrap just comes clinging again.

So when that negative thought situation arises, write down what you did to change your thought (because the ego doesn’t want you to remember that you already crossed that small win finish-line before).

Unaware, a similar thought will show up again in a different situation and sour your day… unless you consciously are aware to stop it again.

Connect the dots in wonderment. Don’t leave it as an open puzzle.

That’s the way to wholeness and getting a light waterfall of a-ha answers.

If you can get to the place of changing your subconscious ego thoughts (and head in a quicker-than-before direction 📈) to a new replacement thought despite the stubborn thought trying to edge back in at every curve, then you know you’ve got this!

You get this.

And if you’re being humble like me here, you can practice on all the other dissimilar thoughts that try to derail your life.

Like thoughts that try to make you more busy (and important that ego loves)…

One way to test yourself is how you interact with strangers.

I meet a lot of interesting people on my journey these days.

And where my younger self would’ve kept on going and stayed busy on my task list, I now (wisely better) stop and converse.

I can spend untimed minutes talking with new people, when edging in 20 minutes used to be impossible.

The metro city culture where I came from, local people just don’t do that.

They’re self-absorbed and quick in every turn and way. They run circles around people and they’re also movers and shakers helping our world move in other ways.

If you slow them down, they think you’re retired or from the South.

The value isn’t placed in slowing down. It’s encouraged to walk away and get ahead.

It’s rude, but accepted.

But that’s not a good way to get the most out of this life.

In a slower living, mind-aware way, that’s how you learn to let light in and grow.

That’s where the healthy good is in life.

Because if you gain wisdom and listen to people who have slowed down, they take time to give good words to you.

And if you let in the new information, that helps you grow.

Good people strangers speak wisdom, share valuable tips, and sometimes even help you see sides of yourself that’s eye-opening.

They don’t know you, but they can say profound things to you that make an impact on your future if you think about it from your past encounters.

In-person, you can make no mistake that face-to-face, from being-to-being, the message is for you.

Their words somehow swirl their way in your mind later in the day as the way the Universe can speak visually and audibly to you. Through people’s faces that will later fade in memory.

Soothsayers birth new ideas in and for you. And you probably do the same for others without knowing it.

And unlike people you know, in these good chance encounters, there is no motive from the stranger as it’s as surprising of a meeting for you as it is for them.

Most likely you’ll never see this person or people again.

Here they are and poof! there they go. And there you go.

Out into your rest of the day and life.

Where today and daily you choose to purposefully listen to specific outside people in our world, media, or from podcasts.

…When well-paid speakers often share stories about lessons they learned from strangers they met on the plane or out and about everyday life.

The kind I just described to you.

Most of us are looking to learn and be influenced…

To be more knowledgeable, grow as a person, and be better in how each of us define.

And with those intentions, thought-mind awareness can be part of that self-improvement and personal self-development process.

If you fully adopt a thought awareness mindset, you won’t just drift into your busy world and wonder years later where your life went.

Because shifts are happening daily all around us without our consent. The tectonic plates are even shifting under our feet now and likely wherever you are, as I wisely learned from a traveler I met and stopped to exchange ideas with.

So maybe for an intentionally better year this year, challenge yourself with a mindset shift and a determination to be thought-mind self-aware, to let go and let in some new light. ✨

I’m rooting for you! 🎉

Guilt Replacements For Happiness

Guilt is not a good feeling. But subtle, it’s often missed and takes away from happiness. So recognizing it exists in your life is helpful so you can then replace the lesser feelings with higher ones.

Guilt shows up in so many different ways in each of our unique lives.

But in common, so often guilt arises from the upbringing ingrained in you from childhood.

It’s not easy to shake off.

Early on, you were limited in the changes you could make. But today you can and should make the necessary changes for a happy life that free you and make you unstoppable.

Because guilt can have a dark cloud grip on your life.

I realized this in my own life…

When I was younger, I enjoyed reading. And I felt guilty being cooped up inside under a reading light instead of playing outside.

I felt disciplined but I also felt the pressure to be a more social kid.

So I was at odds about enjoying learning when it wasn’t cloudy outside.

Then all grown up, I looked back and realized I love learning and growth that I had set myself up to do from a young age.

And today I’m still all about personal development that to me is living life to the fullest potential.

And I’m sure when you look back in your life, you can see some of the sacrifices you made that help you today!

Even though while going through those times, it probably didn’t feel that way.

It felt like pressure.

That’s where you and I learned and felt the concept of guilt from an early age.

And in Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly, she teaches that guilt is behavior-based and feeling like “I did something bad” while shame is identity-related and “I am bad”.

Both live in the mind but are changeable in our thoughts.

But guilt subtly creeps up in today’s thoughts. And the dots are not connected to the root.

…And that robs daily joy.

It’s not easy to let go of those guilt feelings from the past that apply to your situations today.

And if you were able to le-go of the ego then that would be easy.

But none of us can do that as part of our makeup and built-in equipment.

The ego (or my new made up French word l’ego) can play any of us all day in our thoughts if we allow.

Like in the example I gave of…

When it’s nice weather outside, I still feel those initial guilty feelings that I should be outside.

That developed in my inner child.

I initially almost wish that it were rainy or cloudy out so I didn’t have to worry I’ll regret or miss a beautiful day.

And something as simple as that is how the brain can get stuck if allowed.

But wiser and more evolved, I take those feelings and replace them with better ways and thoughts, so I feel accomplished no matter where I am… indoor or out.

I change my perspective with my thoughts.

I find something positive about my choice.

It’s a fight with the split mind (that we all have), but replacing those lesser thought-feelings with something better and higher is how to change those ways without looking back.

…And make decisions quicker without second guessing.

You learn that your mind is not always your friend.

There’s you.

…And then there’s your mind.

That’s in your body.

So aware on that (as observer to my thoughts), today when I’m inside on a full blue sky day, I crack open my back door so that I can feel the inside-outside living.

Problem solved.

And I give those guilty feelings an ‘ol heave-ho back seat.

They no longer exist until they pop back up another time. And then I’ll rinse and repeat the same or find an even better way.

It keeps getting better until the guilt no longer has you.

That’s aspiring, yes? 😊

And well, I know since you and I have the same human mind instrument, you can do the same for your guilt areas!

…Where you already have all the answers inside you to change them to positive or loving thoughts.

So, now to make yourself aware, all you’ve got to do is figure out: what areas in your life do you hold guilt for?

Because they’re there.

And when you bring them to view when you’re not impacted, you are prepared to address them when they show up again. You’ve got this!

It probably takes a ‘lil intentional thinking initially, but if you can capture what you are still holding onto as guilt, you’re well on your way to replacing them and putting them to rest.

And how I concretely know that for you (as well as me) is that our ego is where these fuzzy areas are lost and stored.

That’s clear so you and I can be on guard.

And when the triggers and thoughts are brought back in the same fuzzy manner, you can de-fuzz them at the gate!

We all have an ego (just like we all have a brain) and it never goes away. And we can protect ourselves from the daily damage.

Keeping our thoughts healthy is the way to empowered happiness.

And awareness is always the first step.

So on that best self-aware intention, if your lingering guilt is from not doing something where you had been asked to, another good step is to ask yourself: why don’t I want to do that?

Because doing what others want you to do isn’t always your best.

Usually there’s a good reason for you choosing or wanting to choose another route. Because you and your inner self know better what you need in your life.

And sometimes at odds, you don’t know why you made some choices until you look back.

Trust yourself and signs you get in this life as life tries to route and re-route you. For Your Best.

That’s the better way than doing everything you plan out of fear or a roadmap someone else laid out for you.

Getting over the guilt of letting others down is sometimes all that is needed from you to get past feeling bad… that can easily cross into the boundaries of shame.

…Or lead to a pity party.

Clearly and intentionally justifying your reasons turn the love back to you and makes whatever you end up doing even more compelling-worthwhile.

Because you and your ideas are worthy and should never be discounted because of others.

And you should always be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am worthy” no matter what’s going on around you.

That could be a good place to start.

And you can make what you choose (sometimes against what others say) to be your greatest weapon advantage.

Replacing your guilt feelings becomes your new-next growth level.

You teach yourself to evolve into better and higher ways that helps your life. And helps you not miss a daily happy beat.

That’s the next level challenge to beat.

And if I can do it, I know you can also rise to the occasion.

Living happy and with no regrets in mind is worth the effort.

And always remember, you and your life are worth it! 🎉

Positive Attitude is Everything

Positive attitude (aka optimism) has always been the better way to make good things happen in life. But so often, easier said than done.

Like when dropping a box of spaghetti where you can look at it as an extra chore… or spending a few minutes playing a fun game of pick-up sticks.

But it’s easier to magnify our natural responses, complaining, and being with the realities of life.

Where you maybe mutter something that doesn’t help the situation.

It’s an automatic response…

But automatic responses can be changed like past phases (and phrases you used) going through life.

They were place holders until you found a better way for your snap! uh-oh situations.

…Where those and anything in life could change your mood in an instant.

And when you run into those sudden moments, you can practice your better ways.

Use those as prompts to change your auto-reactions to situations.

That helps to shape your positive attitude.

And enrich what you want to grow in your life, like your opportunities and relationships…

Which btw, have you ever noticed that leaders and successful people are positive and motivational?

It helps them and then others are attracted to them.

But like all of us, they’re not always happy… but a positive attitude also helps them to reach deeper within for answers. And rise above what could drag them down.

That can go either way.

And it’s not the situation they get that’s the downfall… it’s their attitude that can make or break what happens next.

It’s the positive attitude that carries them through and over the hump.

Their positive beliefs turn into good reality.

And in turn, they become what they believe when they look in a mirror.

And if what you believe is positive, growing, and happy then, that’s where you’ll go-al. 🎯

So finding the positive out of negative situations is still the answer to success, but getting there isn’t always easy.

One good way to grow that area is you can choose to find the comedy in life-in-play situations and laugh more… with a positive attitude (that’s not cynical).

Then by laughing, you’re spreading joy that’s positively contagious.

…I’m serious.

It helps to gain a reality check.

…Is it really that bad?

It’s usually not as bad as the moment of impact.

And having a positive attitude to survive the moment is everything.

Because most situations move on and become a memory.

And I know myself what it’s like to have to change the attitude side and run 180 degrees in the opposite direction from my initial thought reactions.

…Because cynical and sarcastic was the realistic culture I grew up in. And was probably what you grew up in if you lived on watching television sitcoms before the turn of the century.

Realistic was pessimistic.

And the word attitude used alone meant you copped an attitude where more words added could cause trouble.

People didn’t know they had an attitude until it was brought to their attention.

That zeitgeist wasn’t set up yet for mindset shifts, daily enlightenment, meditation, and quiet time that today are times to look forward to… and maybe even get a little excited about! 🎉

Today, thankfully attitude is reframed into more positive attitudes.

People are much more conscious and will forwardly say, my attitude is: __________.

An easy way to test your own attitude (and practice) is to see how you view the daily weather.

In climate change days, most of us are often tested as the weather can re-route our day’s activities and how productive we are.

If the daily weather is not so favorable and you have to change your plans you were looking forward to, how do you view that?

…Does it make you sad, disappointed, or discouraged? Or do you see it as a way to step into possibly better plans?

If you adopt the latter, then you become less stuck in your ways… more nimble, and open to what life could bring in your favor at any moment.

Flipping the script is how you rewrite the thoughts in the situational moments.

…And thrive in your day.

And one day at a time becomes your life.

So changing to positive attitudes in your life helps you for the rest of your life. …Making responses automatic and letting those healthy ways penetrate deep down in your core.

…Where you bypass negative emotions and bridge straight toward the positive and loving thoughts and feelings.

I know this because that’s what I practiced in life situations to be the better version of myself. 🙋🏻‍♀️

This week, when the power unexpectedly went out for a few hours because of a hurricane storm that came up the coast, I discovered a new coffee shop. And from that small re-route, I may have a new potential partner to work with.

And another example this week was I had a ticketed event and found out that it wasn’t what I thought it would be.

So I ended up re-routing myself to a store where I met new friends.

👉 But the main lesson here is that before I let any of those two sour situations affect me, my attitude was automatically re-routed to a good place. My auto-thought now is: there’s a good reason for this… and I don’t know yet what that is, but the day will play out and I will figure it out.

And that’s because of the practice I had been doing leading up those events.

So now that I did that practice, I also believe that good things are rigged for my favor.

If you too believe that for your life, and that your re-routes are to help you, then you can bypass frustration feelings and look for more good in your day.

And in return, your energy radiates as attractive to the world. 🎉

So if this sounds good to you and you’d like to grow more of a positive attitude (to be the better version of yourself), this is one attitude habit you can practice daily…

Anytime you catch yourself complaining or have a complaining thought, try to catch that right away.

It might take a few tries in the beginning like any new habit and natural way, but (by being self-aware) eventually you’ll be able to change that.

👉 What’s tricky is that most of us are self-aware about our attitudes in the places we’re already aware of… but the ones we’re not (e.g. ego blind), those are the ones we want to change for out better lives.

We’re blind to what we don’t see.

So those areas take more effort to discover.

But if you practice in the small daily stuff like your weather re-route attitudes and hearing yourself complain-talk, then they become visible.

They become your natural way one situation at a time. And you can change your overall attitude.

And with a positive attitude, you get to focus on bigger, brighter, and better things!

Gratitude Practice of Not Wasting Anything

Gratitude is a word we all know.

Gratitude for cotton candy pink flowers that are reminders of life as a gift. — Cotton candy flowers can spark gratitude as reminders in what we have.

I have gratitude for pretty in pink cotton candy color flowers, reminding me that it’s a summer season of life.

The flowers are a gift from nature and the people who planted the bush. Both are gifts in this life…

And life works in our favor when we treat life as a gift.

…When we say “thank you” and are grateful when we’re given something like a present, compliment, or other kind words and gestures.

…And when we feel gratitude in what we have and what’s around us that we get to taste, touch, see, smell, and do.

My first memorable grips with what gratitude meant in words was in a book I saw and picked up that was different than others around in the bookstores at the time.

In Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, she wrote, “how could I expect more from the Universe when I didn’t appreciate what I already had?”

That was curious wisdom and encouragement for me. It helped make me wonder and evolve to become that person who could gain those deeper inner perspectives.

The 365 days of inspiring words in the book had new meaning and concepts I had never heard of before.

Back then, I didn’t know what a gratitude practice was.

Those were pre-New Age law of attraction days.

That today is Old Age stuff 😊

And we know what’s old often becomes new again.

…Like a gratitude practice.

These days, it’s common for many of us as our culture has evolved.

Back then, I only aspired to those simple abundant life practices, so that was something I worked toward without knowing it would become so.

That’s how life is rigged in our favor… setting us up before we even know what we want in the future.

Which btw, no past experiences you have are wasted in your life. They are there for a reason.

…And for some reason, I picked up the book again over 20 years later.

And in this life influencing book, the entry on January 21 reads: “Today, be willing to believe that a companion Spirit is leading you every step of the way, and knows the next step.”

…Back then, I had no idea what those words meant when the book sat boldly on my night stand in 1996 (a year after it was first published).

But my soul felt good reading over those words.

And today I know exactly what those words mean.

Today I have gratitude that my Spirit is aligned with those words.

And that’s one special way of how this life can be so awesome… when you discover that-secret-something that’s so profoundly deep and bigger than yourself and everything else in life you’ve known so far.

How can you not celebrate?

…When a discovery is bigger than yourself..

And this inner discovery was bigger than myself.

It was life changing.

And I needed a life change and a kick in the pants from the Universe to make some changes.

Journaling helped unravel me along with many self-help books on my journey.

Those were my life teachers.

…What books helped shape your ways?

Plus, the Simple Abundance book mentioned gratitude journaling.

And the book also mentioned abundance concepts (besides being part of the title of the book).

That was the first time I ever remember the concept introduced to me.

Because I didn’t grow up thinking of abundance.

But I aspired to abundance… dreaming about what that could be like someday! 💭

Dreams become reality when you let the bigger Universe work in your life and inside you.

…And you then purposefully stretch your mind muscles enough to go there.

That’s how I slowly let open space in and reframed abundance from a previous crowded, limited and victim mindset.

And within the new space, I invited more gratitude in.

Like with a simple way to show gratitude that anyone can do with the concept of not wasting… where you’re grateful for daily abundance in everyday things such as food abundance (that happens to be my passion place 🍽️).

So imagine all the vegetables growing and coming out of a summer garden. Or if you don’t have one 🙋🏻‍♀️, what’s available to you at abundant (indoor garden) grocery stores you shop in.

Either way, you have the option to save or waste food that’s not consumed.

And if you save, then you’re preserving food for another time or purposefully not wasting food.

In some ways, that can sound like a scarcity mindset (that builds up a limiting mindset), where there’s not more coming in or not enough.

…But the difference in message comes from inserting in Gratitude.

I’m grateful for this food.

…AND believing there’s plenty to go around.

And I’m thankful I’ve got unlimited access to new and different foods daily.

Then you’re allowing abundance in food to flow freely in your mind and life.

(Btw, you can do this for anything and everything to help yourself grow).

Where you’re taking belief into action, showing gratitude by not wasting.

Then you’re fully aligned with words matching actions.

Re-purposing and celebrating are ways to show gratitude and abundance.

…Oh, and when you think and live like that, you can be pretty darn sure that you’ll have plenty more coming your way! 💕

Gratitude is such a simple and powerful daily exercise for building up an abundant mindset… and to manifest your bigger dreams. 💭💭

Busy Decision Made Easy – Get Unstuck!

Busy doesn’t have to be your life if you want to get unstuck this season. And this 7-and-a half minute article has notes about how you can declutter busy in your life (and get more of the authentic best life you’re meant to wisely live!).

I know both ways well because busy is something I grew up aspiring to. A BUSY LIFE was my purpose like a busy bee going from flower to flower.

Busy as a busy bee in this pink garden flower.

…when I grew up and lived in the busy DC metro area culture where everyone working is busy. Having busy plans on-and-off work meant you were important in some way.

…And not being busy meant you didn’t have a life.

I thought busy was a great word, and lived busy up into my 30s.

Today, busy is a “b” as in bad word now to me years in.

But lemme quickly tell you how I got there…

I simply buzzed away from the busy bees in the DC metro area I grew up in for starters… 🐝

Before that, busy was a charm bracelet I wore. It also meant complicating life by adding more and more. Accumulating is a deeper concept that accumulates, taking up space in life (and adds to or creates Kapha imbalances).

The opposite of a simple life sounded so boring.

And where I’m from, you can simply say “I’ve been busy” and you won’t get questioned.

The answer of being busy often got the equivalent of a smiling thumbs up. 👍

On top of those attitudes, being stood up is and was rude, but it was (and probably still is) accepted and common in acting 20 year olds.

Because unless the person you’re interacting with is related to you or lives with you, they’re too busy to listen if they don’t have to. That’s part of the busy culture air.

Souls aren’t looking for deep conversations about the soul, ha!

What’s your dark knight of the soul? as the person walks away and I’m standing by myself.

…I laugh because those are my favorite types of conversations now. 😊

And gradually as I became more interested in personal growth (and grew less busy), I saw being busy from the lens of being an excuse.

That’s what happens when you fill up breathing in living an authentic life and prioritizing inner peace (that’s now occupying your inner space).

…Compare that to wanting to just come out unscathed from this life living on the surface, like during my lowest seasons where I also dreamed of external-only happy desires.

Digging myself out of this way, I carved out big chunks of the day to be free, silent and listening to my thoughts, immersed in relaxing hobbies, writing, reading, writing some more, and just being at-peace, happy-joyful, and balanced.

No meditation except getting input and ideas from initiated prayer and memories from experiences, books, and others’ useful words.

And I’ll even go out on a limb and say, certain types of meditation as I know it are just another way to be busy… you know after a while of doing if it’s sucking life out of you (not giving back) OR if it’s life-giving and you can’t do without. Amen?

For me, one meditation way that works is getting in the zone of creative free-flow writing.

That I did very little of if at all in my corporate headspace days when I operated at my lowest vibration, but what I was doing looked good on paper and to the people I grew up with and was mostly around.

Gradually in my new slower paced life, I developed personal growth through building up character traits that aligned with the fruit of the spirit if you’re familiar.

Mainly: faith, patience, self-control, and peace.

These are deeper traits I never improved before (and were actually made worse in my former culture that modeled the opposite by outward actions).

And I had to go out of my way to seek those things and let them penetrate.

So then I had a new mark of success as personal growth (over external and corporate role accomplishments that used to be the primary mark).

To help unravel the busy life damage I soaked in, one step I took was I stopped filling up a calendar (that my earlier-hospitality event managing planner lifestyle approved and cozied up with).

I now like the look of a blank white calendar with a few fun stickers.😀

And today a nearly blank calendar is how I clearly see if I should add or skip an event… and then I decide.

And how I decide is based on the principle of GIVE and GET that I think is helpful for you if you want clarity in your life… and especially if you’re stuck.

And in this case use, it’s give OR get.

It goes like this…

If you’re giving something like teaching, encouraging, supporting, helping, mentoring, presenting, volunteering your time or donating money, then you have good reason to take time out of your day to be in that event headspace and with those people. It’s worth considering to put on your calendar.

…OR if you’re getting something out of an event like building connections, learning something new, supporting someone else, or getting yourself into happy moods by being somewhere else, then those are all good reasons to carve out time on your schedule.

But if not primarily going in and doing it for a Giving or Getting reason…

Then you’re allowing your drifting subconscious mind (that often influences and decides 😊)… to be confused and wonder if you need to be at the event… or questioning other people and their behaviors or way of dress, and not focusing on what they’re teaching or saying…

And if we’re judging others or having negative thoughts or feelings about being there, then it’s best to catch that and exit gracefully when you can.

Move on and enjoy the sunshine where you feel good.

Get back your hours and move in the direction of where you want to go.

When you were younger, you couldn’t do that or you would be going against approval of some form.

And now you’re an adult who chooses…

Re-learning and setting new habits around the idea that what is good for others isn’t good for you… and taking action based on that wisdom saves you time and going down rabbit holes.

So when you determine if you’re giving or getting in a situation, that makes it Black-And-White easy to decide if you should add more of that busy to your calendar.

…So it’s clear all around.

But then there are exploratory busy time-taking areas that are Gray.

And these can be good (or GRAY-T) opportunities for growth.

For example, sometimes we sign up for things because our gut told us to and we’re unsure why… yet.

Because of unknown future and unlimited possibilities, you want to keep yourself open and sometimes intentionally busy yourself there to investigate… temporarily making yourself out-of-pocket for routine or something else.

So we go there to this new place to learn… and to check and figure it out.

…And when we’re there, sometimes we discover we’re not yet aligned with the message there… where we’re here and that’s there, but the seeds have been planted (by going to learn).

After the event, we may even think: that was a waste of time.

But it wasn’t because our soul (mind, will, emotions) and wise spirit (wired to the Universe) knew better than us… we just hadn’t caught up and weren’t ready yet.

And one day that boomerangs back to us in alignment when we have clarity and remember the experience and learning.

Leaning in and taking a reflective pause helps you investigate what’s best for your life and gives better discernment as to what to do next.

By choosing to NOT take action always, you gain clarity in the step back that’s also action.

And if you miss a specific space, place, or people you visited before to learn and meet with, then that could be a reason to go back to invite in more of those event occasions again.

You’ll know soon enough if you read your tea leaves right or if it was a false return to open you up for something new and different that’s your next pursuit… and not just a busy one.

That’s how we’re wired to do this life and figure out what’s BEST for us in the moment.

And using the GIVE or GET simple decision trick helps that.

Staying productive for a life of success is a balancing dance act of giving, getting, and enjoying.

It puts us at the higher energy level to bring in bigger and better, and less busy filler things… and higher leads to your fulfilling calling, purposes, and destiny. 🧡