UA-141369524-4

Character Alignment Discovery + Mother’s Day Hibiscus Berry Mocktail

Character alignment reminds me of dogs and Cesar Milan’s Better Human, Better Dog National Geographic series that evolved from The Dog Whisperer series. This article is about how to get to your best self version with character development.

For starters, bringing in more joy like this fruity joy hibiscus mocktail can help us align with our day. 🌺

A Hibiscus Berry Mocktail is good for celebrating Mother’s Day and May’s calendar full of events such as the Met Gala where this year’s theme is flowers and the garden of time. This is an easy floral and balanced tea drink you can make at home and I think is a beauty in a classic martini glass. What do you think?🍸The recipe is below. 💕💜

And on that note… let’s begin with the dog analogy.

Dogs could be the first character that pops up in your daily mind especially if you have a Fido running around where you notice whether character intervention is needed 🐾

And in both Cesar Milan dog shows, we learn that each dog’s character comes with some breed born, individual learned, and universal dog traits. We also discover that bad behaviors and characters can be retrained and it’s usually the humans that need the training. 😅

It’s up to dog owners to follow through while exerting their calm assertive energy if they want a happy and peaceful life with their dogs. And that can be you or I, or any of us.

The opposite, undesired behaviors often stems from humans carrying around negative energy like fear as a dominant trait.

Dogs pick up on the human stress and misbehave. Essentially they feel chaos in them because they aren’t being led by a dog pack that is natural in the wild.

In domestic dogs at home, the same inborn traits are there but it’s our job to lead the pack if we want order and not chaos.

Training a dog to get into a calm surrender sit with wagging tail and lay down with tongue loosely hanging is the desired outcome state for a dog owner.

Then we can enjoy, pet, and play with dogs.

Dogs are naturally loving and loyal and ready to get in this submissive state.

They don’t hold grudges for long if at all to anything (even though we can project that on them).

Those points are a couple of the universal traits of why humans love dogs as pet family members.

And as a test, when they can get along with everyone in the family either two or four-legged, then it’s a match made in dog heaven.

…So now you have the gyst of how humans and dogs can better co-exist and blend together.

Finding compatibility among humans in human relationships is not as easy. Because of the disaccords when we want peace and harmony. It gets much more complicated because of our built-in human features and intellect.

We have complex minds and many more moods than probably there are English mood description words for.

We make daily micro decisions based on cognitive reasoning for understanding what’s on the screen in front of us.

Oh, and we have opposable thumbs so we can do more than our canine friends who can barely play with toys.

Dogs can bring us to a simpler lifestyle that’s healthy and healing for us from balancing our digital world vs. real life.

Our best calm surrender defense for ourselves and dogs is letting go of fear, negative, and non-peaceful thoughts.

That keeps us out of trouble. From miles away, dogs can pick up any excessive worrying “scent.”

Character Alignment Growth In Us

When we grow in our character alignment using our moral sensibilities, we can speed up growing out of old, past ways that don’t serve us.

Choosing and being able to live out a healthy, balanced lifestyle  fosters an environment to live this good way that promotes longevity and a life well lived.

The sooner we can make healthy and balanced as a priority, the faster we can work on our character growth that’s aligned with who we are because we can pay attention better.

“Where attention goes, our energy (intention) flows.” – James Redfield

Living out two lives or multiple roles are examples of alignments that are not in order.

When you have to be somewhere because someone else relies on that, then you’re living out someone else’s need. That takes us away from our personal growth, but we can get back on the trail as easily as we hopped off.

When in character alignment, we also feel overall that we’re at peace with ourselves and that extends to what we’re doing. We’re not dissatisfied with what we do because we also get to show up as ourselves.

Consider those times when you were at ease and feeling like you were meant to be where you were, and not worrying.

In those moments, you’re calm and you produce more because you’re not second guessing your moves. You just naturally are attuned in your elements.

You’re also exuding the positive character traits of yourself, the one that others are attracted to.

When you’re in stressful environments, the opposite happens.

If you saw you coming, in truth you’d wanna probably run for the hills. 😉 Most of us have been there.

But that doesn’t have to happen often as we can always choose to rewrite our thoughts and our daily outcomes from our thoughts in our situations we find ourselves in.

In the tough moments, those are opportunities to grow and not fight with ourselves or lean into the old habits.

We can learn the lesson then and not repeat next week in a different situation.

A shortcut way is to challenge our own beliefs.

Are they helping us? 

Do we believe we’re an underdog or not worthy? Do we believe we’re doomed or do we flip the script?

Because something is going to happen anyway, so why lose extra sleep over something you can’t do anything else about?

And when you find something positive that could come out of the situation no matter what, then you’re in an empowered position.

And that’s the healthy feeling you want.

An example: often we come across a problem that could start off as good or a challenge. But now confronted with an issue, finding an opportunity to address the problem-at-hand is a better way. And then after a while it goes away.

And then you can be glad that you were confronted with the potential problem because otherwise you would’ve not come up with this other better way.

Or it showed you something new you would not have seen about yourself or the situation.

Gradually we grow into our better, more wise character by these subtle and micro shifts in thinking and ways of doing things.

We become more patient, less selfish, and more content as side benefits.

Without trials or some stress in our lives, we wouldn’t have picked up these growth ways that all point to our character alignment that helps align our lives.

And like with any life skills, they can be more impactful than even a vocational skill you use as they are transferrable throughout life.

What We Can Do Today To Align Sooner

We can stop being so busy. When we cram everything into the waking hours we have available, we do the opposite.

We pretty much are leaving our lives up to our tasks and chosen activities that are not always aligned with our daily spiritual walk or purpose.

We can instead prioritize our lives as the only one we get. We can’t do over years but we can start over. And if we’re not doing what we know can be more impactful in our lives when we know or when we can, then we’re not  aligning ourselves fully.

That doesn’t mean quit what you’re doing today, but the tea leaves are out.

And when they are, that means it’s just a matter of time before you can confront the truth set before you or choose to ignore.

Being brave and confronting is going to get you what you want if you take that risk that’s calculated because otherwise the deeper idea wouldn’t be planted inside you.

Ignoring our inner calling prevents us from getting closer to our aligned ways and purposes because of the four letter word… B-U-S-Y.  When we’re too busy to get out of our busyness funk, we can’t think clearly. What could emerge stays hidden from our view.

And when we get to slower paced life seasons either by choice or have more time because of changes that happened to our lives, then we get an opportunity to see where we can improve our lives.

And maybe restart with a fresh start in certain areas.

We don’t have to continue what wasn’t working well or no longer serves where we’re aligned to now. That’s when we can feel lost, something missing, or misaligned.

That includes: relationships, work choices, training humans around us on how to treat us, our habits, attitudes, and outlook.

And one specific area that can help us grow this season is checking in on our pride that can often be a source of misalignment.

Character Alignment Grows Healthy Pride

If we have a dose of unhealthy pride in us that’s very common in modern culture, learning to strip those outward and deeper layers helps us in our relationship communication, motivations, and our healthy blood pressure.

We are healthier and happier as the cure to heavy pride is humility, that gives us the warm and fuzzy feelings inside us.

We feel good quietly in our soul, we’re building up our character, and people remember and respect us in a good way for that.

Compare that to the high pride that we air and we get claps and cheers, but those are short lived and forgotten in our digital era.

Pride is healthy when we’re proud of ourselves for making the finish line or achieving our accomplishments big or small. It’s a good thing we have goals! 🎉

And at the root of unhealthy pride are wrong motivations such as feeling superior over others that an unhealthy fed ego loves.

Pride can swallow us up when situations can tear us down. We want to build a stable environment inside us that’s content whether situations are good or not-so-great.

…What happens next doesn’t make or break you is the empowered feeling.

And then others recognize the humility energy and also give you the accomplishment credit.

You’ll enjoy your life the most that way and avoid the up and down roller coaster life that’s like Monday morning hangover dread after Friday afternoon joy and a weekend of eventful and relaxed bliss.

Dogs and Pride Analogy

…So back to our dogs that we can learn from. Dogs don’t act prideful as they don’t have that gene, but they can act dominant, as in trying to protect their owner and territory.

So in pride and dog analogies, if we build up humility in our dogs for their loving personality traits to come out then they show us their calm side that lets others get close and pet them.

And they respect us as the leader. That’s what we want in ourselves… to be a leader in our lives.

Even when we think we’re humble, there are still traces of unhealthy pride that can be lingering layers deep.

I discovered this in my life when I used to speed past a pedestrian crossway on a major road fare. No one in their right mind who didn’t have to, would cross walk at that dangerous intersection.

I had never seen anyone in my daily drive do so.

But one day, the flashing light beside the walkway suddenly came on without warning just before I drove up there. I had to slam my foot on the breaks. And while that wasn’t an unusual step to do and for the cars behind me, that was a wake up call for me.

In awareness, I realized I still had unhealthy pride in me that I thought I had worked hard to try to successfully rip out.

How was that incident related to character alignment? 

Deeply rooted, I realized I hadn’t taken seriously enough the idea that you can’t be too thoughtful when it comes to signs and other people showing up suddenly out of the blue.

While I know that sounds a little silly and we can all act similarly in that way in our busy lives, when you are getting closer to character alignment in certain areas you’re introspective and observe small details in your life.

When I took that lesson to heart and how my initial reaction and outward layer disregarded other possibilities, I learned to humble myself more deeply in future situations by being more thoughtful and slowing down automatically before the intersection. That was a good alignment test.

And that gave me the peace, calm surrender, and self-control I needed for better humility growth and character alignment.

There are many other traits that similar lessons can apply to, but humility is one healthy trait can help your life out in so many ways.

As much as rescue dogs can be trained to become a new healthy dog, we have the ability too.

We can always make up for lost time in development areas we didn’t gain or need to re-learn.

Sometimes when we don’t have much or live simply, we see this better. And we turn inward and dig deep for help and answers.

This type of growth comes from the inside out that speeds up our progress. We’re each in our own marathon.

Starting with a desire to make specific changes marks the starting point.

After we’re aware, it’s in us and we have a high chance of succeeding as we aspire to make the change.

And then one day that’s usually after many tries, we are transformed into this new better way.

We can’t go back to the old way as it no longer fits us in character alignment.

Along those lines and in your journey, you can pick up good character alignment traits that help you in more ways than one and for the rest of your life.

That’s something to celebrate and look forward to in your bright future!

Shout out to the mom’s for Mother’s Day. This is a Hibiscus Berry Mocktail you can make that the moms and ladies can enjoy! 🌺

Print

Mother's Day Hibiscus Berry Mocktail

This is a pink and lavender celebratory and festive mocktail with healthy notes that any mom would love! The drink checks the boxes for the service and quality time love language mom as she kicks up her feet to sip on this special mocktail that can be made into a cocktail.
Course beverage
Cuisine American
Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Equipment

  • martini strainer or other strainer

Ingredients

  • blueberry tea
  • hibiscus tea
  • can of coconut cream (or heavy cream)
  • blueberries and strawberries
  • lavender tea bag

Instructions

  • Reserve the thickest part of the coconut cream. Then mix the thinner part of the cream to make a milk consistency that will be used for blending.
  • Combine brewed blueberry tea and hibiscus tea and milk consistency cream. Shake up and strain to create the lavender purple color layer. Optional: add berries to this layer if you wish.
  • Freeze the first layer.
  • Repeat the second step but omit the blueberry tea to make the pink color layer as red and white make pink. Optional: add berries to this layer if you wish.
  • Freeze the second layer.
  • Add the thick coconut cream to the top. Add a little of the milk consistency cream to make the thickness of choice.
  • Decorate with dried hibiscus and lavender tea leaves, and/or fresh fruit.
  • Enjoy and watch the drink change colors!

 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Btw, my mom was a dressmaker for most of her working career, so this pink and purple color celebrates her life well and fits into the Met Gala’s Garden of Time dress theme she would’ve liked.

Shadow Work To Find Love Over Ego    

Shadow work helps dig out the deeper things holding you back that may be hidden from view and you may not be aware of today.

Light and shadow work in an Ellworth Kelly art sculpture piece.
Artwork is one metaphor for our lives. This spiral art piece brings out the light and shadows where you’re seeing only a partial angle. This can be what’s it like when we look in the mirror at ourselves, where we don’t see the light in our inner selves.
This is a full view of the same art piece by Ellsworth Kelly that shows many more lines and color dimensions that can shine like us in our discoverable selves.

It’s work and discovery you do on yourself that pays off as you learn more about your inner self so you can better shine in your authentic and best you you’re meant to be.

And you can find your loving self and steer away from your darker sides that cast shadows in your life.

I know this from my own journey. I was a late bloomer for many years and areas of life. And just when things were coming together nicely, then all of the sudden around 35, I went into a now what do I do? season.

I was hit with a spiritual intervention and no roadmap life manual to help me along that season.

Life springs things on you where  you have no concrete guide to follow. No one teaches you that a spiritual intervention can happen at any time in your life journey on your life blueprint that you don’t have access to.

A spiritual intervention is not commonly heard of but it does happen in this miracle we call Life.

And yeah, that’s what happened to me.

Before I get into the details, the reality is we’re not in as much control of our planned future as we want to think. We get to choose to believe in faith over what we think is our future based on our past and what we’re currently working on.

And believe that a greater force above has our back and a better plan.

And in my spun out-of-my control season, I ended up relocating back to where I came from when I had no plans or thoughts to do so. It was more shocking to me than to my friends and family who were happy to hear I was moving closer back to the area.

It was a healthy move, even though it was unconventional as spiritual changes and growth often are.

The days leading up to my move, the healthy marriage I was in fell apart because of the intervention reveals that made the step-to-step moves easier. There was sadness leaving, but no drama.

I ended up in a hospital with no physical health diagnosis. There was nothing wrong with me. What appeared as a mental breakdown I knew as a spiritual awakening. Is that how you diagnose inner voices?  Apparently.

The immediate trauma reality I felt when I was released was the sting of the hospital bill. Ouch and oh btw, I would have to pack my life up today and start all over with new work, step back, and build a new adult life while the world around me kept going.

I couldn’t even tell you the songs playing on the radio waves then or what the major news headlines were going on.

Those few final days and weeks before were a total blur. I must’ve thrown out many scrapbook album memories in the preparation for my move. Discarding my past was a metaphor representation of how I felt with this new life ahead of me.

It was nothing less than an invisible higher force that took over and moved me one step at a time.

And I knew this as God co-creating and ordering my footsteps, who got in the car with me and drove me back to the area I had left.

It was surreal. My hand was on the wheel but he was unmistakenly the GPS, so I felt safe even though I was confused.

So there I was back to the area where I grew up with a higher plan that I expected would unfold. An old church friend God-wink coincidentally had a room available as her last  roommate had just moved out.

Even though I was in the same area I grew up in, it seemed miles away from my growing up familiarities. This time around I was closer to the city and further away from the towns where many of my first memories of childhood and early adulthood were formed.

Some memories were accumulated past trauma from childhood and early adulthood that I needed shadow work for to help me discover forgiveness.

And others were happy memories from friendships and past experiences made.

It was a bittersweet come back. I was then recently laid off from a career job I had been at for years, so I had to lean on trust that I would be provided for during those recession years that wiped out businesses and the corporate tech industry I had just come from.

But this life changing event wasn’t about just a move, a job change, or a season transition. This was a life transformation.

I was entering a new way of life on earth that was foreign to me and the cascade of events leading up were so bizarre. Even though I felt secure under the Universe’s wing, I didn’t know how to start this new shaken up chapter of life.

Now what? kept coming up in my thoughts.

One of my first set of tests was letting go. I didn’t know how to surrender my old thinking ways. And that’s when I got really deep into introspection and shadow work and trying to figure out what happened on my own.

Miraculously, planted in me was the awareness of harmful ego ways. With a little freed up headspace from not being so busy, I became aware that I had healing work to do on myself. I had never paused before from work to successfully get to know the real me.

I went to church healing rooms to see if I could gain a little insight and closure. And got some comfort and was able to purge some past trauma. This was as close to therapy as I would get.

Life Before The Spiritual Intervention

I was always choosing to be busy and that was ingrained in me in the DC metro area culture I grew up in and was now back in. But this time around, my surroundings were quiet as my friends were grown up too. They were busy with their family and lives. I had to figure mine out.

My life looked nothing like most those I went to college with where they moved up the corporate ladder, settled down, and had a family. They lived close by but our world’s were far apart.

I felt alone in navigating what next, but I also felt optimistic that my life would take off because of the spiritual intervention experience I had lived out in the hospital that showed me some prophecies about work and relationships in my distance-off future.

I knew there was a plan but I just didn’t know when, how, and what the real life specifics were. And when some life pieces came to life, I recognized them later on as shown to me in prophecies.

Those were miracles, and it all sounds bizarre on paper, but that’s how it also felt. Beautiful and bizarre.

And at the end of the day, none of us know the uncertain future so nothing looked that unusual about me or my life from an outside onlooker.

One area I knew I could focus on building was my deeper spiritual self and building traits I would need and may have missed developing along the way.

Ego work was just the tip of the iceberg. As mentioned, I was in and grew up around America’s capital. This is an area filled with smart, affluent people where pride and ego are waved as invisible badges of honor, but now I was ready to get rid of those non-serving ways.

People outside or living there in short transition or temporary  assignments don’t realize how strong the political daily air is there outside the news. And so much so that nobody talks about it there as common practice to not create further divides.

It’s a unique invisible bubble that rarely gets talked about as ego is not usually a subject matter of discussion.

So, now you know the situation better.

And a year before this new season’s reveal, I was made aware I was holding onto past trauma from childhood and an adult situation that created PTSD I had blindly been holding onto. That’s what a spiritual intervention and shadow work can help reveal.

I grew up under the house of an immigrant parent who had a dominant ego disorder that grew worse over time. And after I moved off to be on my own, I fell victim to a dangerous work situation in a brick and mortar business.

This all came to light in this revealing spiritual intervention season.

I realized my past situations grew my victim mentality. And that fed my ego that loves to hang onto woes me for my situations.

It’s the same ego that thrives on protecting our pride and does so much damage in all of us, showing up in all kinds of daily, harmful non-serving ways.

If you’ve worked around people long enough, you will have seen this and not necessarily know that it was their ego that created their undesirable behaviors.

Our ego is our shadow until we become aware. Bringing out your shadow into the light is the shadow work that can align you to your whole self where your life begins to unfold more purpose and meaning.

I became ego conscious-aware that my ego played me in my subconscious insecurities as it does for most unaware.

Before then, I could be emotionally triggered and all of the sudden be stricken with an ugly cry with my then-husband.

It was like a recurring sound bite scene from Love is Blind where the American dating participant, Chelsea, is crying “clingy?”

Clingy wasn’t my manifestation, but my ego reared its ugly head wanting me to be right and win in partner conflicts.

And instead I lost the debate and all conscious streams of thinking that came from allowing the ego game to be played in me.

I didn’t know how to shake off or walk away from my turmoil feelings that started out as harmless thoughts.

That was work I needed to do. A real life mirror partner had reflected back to me what I needed to work on.

I ignored those prompts until I became aware of the ego years later.

Today’s Lessons

Your old brain is still a part of you that you carry along wherever you go. When you’ve moved on, your past memories and old lessons learned never die.

They travel with you and show up on your vacations.

If you’ve ever seen couples or friends fighting on vacation and you wonder, what’s there to fight about on this dreamy once-in-a-lifetime beautiful serene blue ocean or castle fantasy backdrop?… it’s the ego rearing its ugly head into the situation.

At any time, your ego can take old information and create fear and exacerbate worry in your situations today and in the future that are related to your past. Bring love to the situation is the cure.

That’s why I’m so passionate about the healthy mind-body connection today that I learned about before doing shadow work.

If you bring out love from your past situations to your present, it shows up in your calm emotions today and also in your healthy body.

Ego situations and how they play out look different for everyone.  If we could pinpoint one situation for everyone we would have figured this out collectively. But ego is a trickster.

Some even refer to their ego as an imposter that shows up.

The outward sign is that it’s not reality happening even though it feels like it is to you or the person. You’re not being chased by a tiger, but it can feel that way with modern digital message triggers.

Unknowingly, you undetect where the havoc source is coming from as it’s subconscious.

You can’t see through those thick clouds and insecurities. And that can lead to knee-jerk reactions.

Another sign for everyone is an unhealthy ego acting up is rooted in negative thoughts about yourself or others like self-pity, self-loathing, or blaming others.

It’s Edging God Out. The opposite is love and being conscious.

An unhealthy ego moment is a twisted form of overprotection for your best interest where you lose, lose control, and those around you lose if they get intertwined.

Bottom line: it doesn’t come from love.

Everyone is best to walk away in peace rather than play the counterproductive ego games.

Becoming aware of ego’s ability to harm you and relationships today and healing your past with new rewritten loving narrative thought memories are two of the healthiest shadow work moves you can make.

On a larger scale, you can rid of victim mentality so you can live fully whole and healthy in the now. You can be happy for others and their progress as you are for your own.

The ego will try to make these darker sides invisible to you so you continue as is, but if your desire is to grow and be happy, you can outwit your ego and not play the games.

We all are damaged goods in some way because of this built-in ego feature that we have a choice to change. It’s no one’s fault.

And that’s why when you’ve been aware long enough you can forgive others for their unconsciousness and behaviors… and hope they will try to get informed, grow, become conscious, and be accountable for their behaviors.

The Healthy Shadow Work You Can Do Today

So many of us would benefit from shadow work.

For one, you could discover and change negative moods coming from inside you. You could learn more about what triggers you.

You can replace these non-serving moments with higher and loving words such as those found in the New Testament Scripture.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

A daily reminder verse to call out your ego thoughts front and center daily helps.

You can build lasting character traits such as those in Galatians 5: patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, peace, joy, and love. These are the higher living ways.

They can take deep inner work and the first step can be shadow work discovery.

Becoming self-aware is timeless and absolutely necessary for growth.

And knowing the ego never shuts off and can show up in many ways in our mind roles such as:

critic

judge

competitor

fighter

dictator

imposter

One role ego doesn’t play is peacemaker. When ego is behaving and healthy, it helps you to strive for healthy goals.

We need some healthy pride to push us along. Or if you’re in real danger, ego can help motivate you to protect you.

But the undealt with unhealthy daily ego critic sitting on one shoulder shouts loud thoughts that appear logical to you (or the person), while the whispering angel spirit in you is gentle and loving preferring humility over pride.

The more you practice the softer humility sides, the more you can see the harmful pride.

Ego is subtle to you…

If you have a balanced way or a sense of making good decisions usually, logic can appear as harmless as “everyone is doing that.”

In those thought moments, you have a choice to not be everyone and do what you know is best or loving when you know better. We all have a choice.

If your ego is fighting you, you can be prepared with spiritual weapons like the armor of God spelled out in Ephesians, and in renewing your mind.

The more preparation and practice you have, your discernment increases the next time and you grow.

Still wondering how the  ego shows up?…

So, I used to let the ego run the show. The daily mind show that is where I accepted all thoughts to enter as mine.

Some days a whole day would go by with the same repeated past memories. That’s classic ego.

I didn’t know I could exercise changing my thoughts. That was revelation when I learned and how to replace the thoughts.

Even if you had a great childhood or life so far, your ego will at some point take something from your past and spin it to a negative thought even if others would see it as a healthy and happy moment. It’s in your control to change the narrative fed to you.

Being the observer of thoughts and not letting the thoughts play out after the thought movie reel has been played once is a good strategy, so you don’t lose a whole day of productivity and peace.

And then stay aware the next time. You can make a decision that there’s no room for the two of us as it’s cramping growth, and simply kick out your unhealthy ego. Don’t play the games.

Sometimes it take mental wresting strength to let the thoughts pass through without energizing them to replay. Be determined to do what you know will eventually work for you.

And as part of my light bulb moment discovery, I found that ego was not just once in a while playing havoc in our lives, it’s the source of most problems in our day.

Because the ego is a feature in all of us in this world. Behaviors are trickled down among other people involved and their operating egos.

Imagine if the leader of a group or business had ego issues that showed up. You could only imagine (or have experienced before) the tricked down dysfunctional effect in the management hierarchy.

This observation becomes more obvious when you know (or have been made aware like I may be stirring in you today).

You witness in your daily interactions with people…  one minute they are agreeable and friendly and then one day the season ends and they turn out to be something else. They’re unaware they’re being played by their ego.

This happens in relationships all the time and is at the crux of partner power struggles.

Without the harmful ego aspects, our world would be a better place because we would be better acting humans, heal ourselves, and those around us.

But until my hospital incident, I didn’t know how destructive the subconscious and invisible ego is on our planet, in our lives, and in me.

Shadow work examples such as going to therapy or light journaling tools can help open the doors to discover more of your deeper and hidden self.

The answers are inside you so deeper spiritual self-help may help you like healing rooms did for me.

And in my spiritual intervention rebirth.

Leading up to that point, these shadow work resources helped and can help to open the awareness…

What Did Help and Can Help You in Shadow Work Discovery

Turning to some self-help books opened my eyes. One in particular, Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now is one of those books that comes alive in your when you’re ready for the message because your spirit lights it up.

It’s a deep book that you’re either ready for or not. You’ll know if you are because your eyes won’t glaze over the sentences. And when it’s an easy flow read, the chains have been released and the pain-body is exposed. The book is an experience. It can be so powerful that you may only need to read it once to gain the knowledge, and it’s forever in you.

That opened the spirit inside me like a lotus flower to make more room for awareness when my spiritual intervention season entered years later. 🪷

The Bible was another spiritual book I had as a tool. I had let the contents and words of Scripture occupy space and spill over inside me. 📖

You can re-read Scripture over and over again and find new tidbits of wisdom and helpful Biblical truth. You don’t get the same experience each time.

New words can jump off the page with meaning to you when you’re ready. Like my eyes skipped over the mysterious “spirit” word on the pages until I was ready.

The Bible is an instructional self-help life manual and is the only book that’s still being translated in so many languages.

Letting the higher words permeate to brain wash out all the muck that occupies the day for things that won’t matter in the years to come, is life giving.

Those are good starters.

And then be open and let your life’s journey unfold.

There’s so much more to this world and it’s inside you. As Deepak Chopra says, “the world is in you.”

“I am not in the world. The world is in me.” – Deepak Chopra

Doing deeper shadow work is underrated and will produce so much more in you and out of you as you impact the world with your greatness you were born with. 🎉

And can be born again with. Something to consider and maybe enjoy over an angel cake recipe 😇

angel food cake.
Print

Low-Sugar Angel Food Cake

Course Dessert
Cuisine American
Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

  • 1 cup cake flour, sifted
  • 12 egg whites
  • 1 tsp cream of tartar
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • low sugar or monkfruit sugar (1 tsp or 1-1/2 tsp recommended)
  • strawberry

Instructions

  • Beat egg whites. Add cream of tartar, sugar, and salt.
  • Gently fold in flour.
  • Line tin with butter to prevent sticking. Bake on 350°F for 35-40 minutes.

Butterfly Pose Everyone Can Do

Butterfly Pose is a much needed pose for tight inner hips and hip opening. This article is about how to get the most out of the pose to open your spirit and welcome  in a new season.

Plus, good exercises you can do daily to help open your butterfly pose hips when they don’t want to fully (or you simply want to keep them flexible). 🧘🏻‍♀️

A butterfly pose is an open one we can all try.

…Which btw, our bodies are natural wonders and so is the total eclipse that gave solar chills and happy tears this week, that I’m still reeling over and  you can too days later.

…Even if you’re not spiritual, the palpitable feeling can be deeper than even seeing the phenomenon. And if you want the lasting effects, you can make and enjoy a healthy chocolate cake that celebrates the moon and eclipse. 🌘

chocolate eclipse cake.
This is a healthy chocolate cake representation of the moon where you can add your Baily’s beads too.

But first things first: when you have tight hips, you know it immediately when you move around. And I didn’t know about this because I didn’t feel it until one day.

And like the Butterfly name implies, the Butterfly pose looks like opened butterfly wings.

Or if you speak in chef language like I often do, you know what butterflying means on a plate. Butterfly pose looks also like an open lotus flower. 🪷

Opening your hips this way is a metaphor for opening yourself up and while you’re sitting still in patience and peace.

In life, butterflies wait before they can flutter about. It’s one of the  fascinating creatures out there in nature I think and a symbol of transformation. They are fragile like we are. 🦋

Similarly, we start out as caterpillars in life crawling along and hopefully like most, make it to adulthood.

Then we transform into our adult butterfly bodies in new seasons.

As sweet reward, we get tastes of honey along our journey and feed back honey nectar to our community.

We contribute to the environment we’re in where we spend time. And this is a metaphor for making our individual impact in the world that’s one of our highest callings.

this is a real butterfly pose in life next to a caterpillar.
From caterpillar to adult butterfly is a natural transformation And seeing them together one day is a phenomenon. Can you see the butterfly in the photo?

Butterflies are unique in colors and design patterns like the Peacock Butterfly commonly found in Europe or Asia, or a Monarch Butterfly that I see often in North America.

They are something we can globally appreciate like the sun, the moon, and the solar eclipse.

Butterfly Pose As a Metaphor For Opening Up

Phyiscally, Butterfly pose helps to open in tight hips. You’re a lotus flower ready to blossom and sometimes your mind-body can get stuck. 🪷

Giving it time to open up and bloom when ready is part of patience in Life.

In your Butterfly pose, if it’s not easy, do it gradually. Don’t force it along.

Pain is never good in yoga. Unlike physical sports and fitness, that says, “no pain, no gain.” Yoga is completely opposite: pain means no gain.

Because you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing to your body.

Pain is a warning signal from your body.

In yoga, it’s good to challenge the body with stretching further and higher, but only when it’s in tip-top shape.

And with all the muscles, tendons, joints, and crevices in our bodies, sometimes there are places that need broken mending.

So we want to add stress to those parts. We want to work  on other parts while our weak spots heal. And with Butterfly pose, you know whether or not you have a weak inner hip injury.

If you’re feeling tentative, then be gentle.

One thing I like to do is raise myself off the mat.

You can use a block or a towel to raise your thigh above the mat until your hip loosens up (one side is usually tighter) and you can get to your ideal Butterfly pose.

So you can still do a modified version of the Butterfly pose without stress and repairing your bottom wing. 🦋

And then when ready, maybe someday your knees and top half of your leg touch down on the mat, or they don’t.

Either is great.

For beginners, it doesn’t matter how cool it looks.

All that matters is you feel good. Maybe that’s why my Vata loves yoga for the comfort reasons. 😊

You’ll find what you’re comfortable with and then you’ll have a baseline for what your body can do in those areas, and what the limitations are.

The limitations are there to help you lean in on your unique body and SELF. Create goals that are good for your body. 🎯

In Butterfly pose, a good goal would be to not feel any tension or pain in the hip muscle, inner hip, or groin areas.

Both men and women seem to have this common issue.

If you sit a lot this could be a reasonable cause. And if it shows up one day, it could be a new habit position you were sitting in that simply needs to be adjusted so you can restore.

In the meanwhile, you can complement Butterfly Pose with Triangle Pose and Pigeon Pose that are other yoga poses that will help open up in slightly different angles.

Also try the Seated Spinal Twist.

As usual in yoga, one side is usually tighter than the other for different poses, so workout a little longer for the side that needs more TLC.

Balance and alignment comes from asymmetrical efforts. So if for balance ⚖️, this means intention or laser focus on the side or area that needs attention.

Another yoga pose that can really help is a 5 star yoga pose on the mat with your legs straddled open to each side, and arms under and through your legs.

If you’re not familiar with the more common star pose, your head arms and legs make up the 5 points.

Doing this stretch faced down on the mat will also give you a good stretch through your legs and arms.

And combining physical therapy type exercise that you can do at home will help. These often use repetition vs. weights. And repeated repetitions.

One of the best exercises I found is the side hip abductor exercise that you can do on your mat.

You turn to one side and bend your knees and then lift the top leg up and down for 10 repetitions or more at a time.

This helps the inner hip to open.

And should feel good. It’s also a killer butt toning exercise!

A second exercise is: sit on the side of a regular height bed or a chair that allows a hip-leg to anchor straight down on the floor either straight up perpendicular or slightly shifted to the back while the other hip-leg (the tight one) is on the bed or chair.

Take the tight hip-leg (on the bed) and bend, so that you can see the bottom of your foot. You should feel a light stretch (that does not hurt) in the tight hip area that’s slightly different than on a mat.

If there’s any pain, you should stop as you may have injured the area somehow.

Remember, we’re fragile like butterflies. 🦋 We’re also resilient.

And if you don’t feel anything in your hips, that’s something to be grateful for.. and now you’re more aware of what to do and what people (aka older people) are talking about when they say they have tight hips…

Not feeling your hips is something else to celebrate. And Butterfly pose is a gratitude pose 🎉

Music Inspiration Daily For Slow Waiting Seasons

Music inspiration can be a saxophone that calms and is bright and cheery.
Music inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes!

Music inspiration can be therapy to your mind-body, like it is for mine. This article is all about building in some audio inspiration to your life, to get your mojo back or make it through your slow waiting seasons.

And a healthy oatmeal chocolate chip cookie 🍪  that can be prepared in 5 minutes (ready in 30) with 40 chocolate chips, a 4 oz. applesauce container (that is a good pantry stocking item to have on hand and you  can buy in a 6-pack in the dried fruits and nuts grocery food aisle).

[Someone already took a bite out of this one 😊…]

healthy oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.

Because getting yourself daily happy is going to help you in tough seasons…

Where life can be unexciting and underwhelming and you wish would speed up and you could fast forward.

If you were to add up those days and years in your life, they would be most of life if you have lofty goals.

And they can feel heavy, like a hangover.

Those are the times when routines and ruts can run our lives. We can feel like we’re not growing as much because we’re not learning as much. Or we’re not running around feeling as light and bouncy.

And all that can show up as a mood funk and stress in the mind-body.

Bringing the calm and loving thoughts back in the moment helps bring our mind-body balance back despite life’s chaos.

We want to feel healthy good, and without this balance, we feel off and that slows down our productivity jam, creativity flow, and daily rhythm.

And, music inspiration is an easy way to snap our minds out of unrest, and gradually move us out of seasonal rut feelings day by day, and get our bodies to dance around a little.

I was feeling one of those weeks that felt imbalanced in moods.

There were storms outside that didn’t help to bring out the sunny feelings. And my body was off sleep schedule. I usually naturally wake up at the same time every morning within minutes.

Now I found myself setting the alarm again, that I hadn’t done as a routine since I worked for an employer.

Was it post-holiday blues?

That’s what I chalked it up to.

But I was determined to not let that settle into another day or the weekend.

So instead of my weekly routine, I did one easy test move. I turned on the television.

And this time of year is when ice skating competition shows are aired. I hadn’t seen one this year, so it took me into a new loop as I watched the triple toe loops manifest in front of my eyes. From the 20 minutes or so of watching, I had a new verve again.

I was inspired again. My mind had those happy hormones that felt like they kicked back into drive.

And all it took was a few minutes.

What just happened?

My mind went somewhere else. I saw something different, and it was exciting to my mind that drives the bus and matters most in changing moods.

And the subtle backdrop instrumental music put me in a new place mood.

Music is therapy and that’s why it’s called music therapy.

Changing our daily rhythm sounds is what we often need for simple imbalance changes based on our lifestyle choices (like food and drink, sleep patterns, etc.)… and doesn’t take that much effort to help change our moods.

You just turn it on and there it is.

And if you’re trying, that can be the slight switch you make in your day today that gives you a new pep in your step.

…as you’re counting on every new step that can turn your season around for change.

Finding the right daily music inspiration is an important part of having daily joy.

…Even if we woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or we were rattled with sad news. Or we’re in a nothing new season… music will help snap us out into a better mood because the effect it has on the mind.

And if that’s what you’re facing today, then know you’re one baby step away from making a change in your day… if you choose the right tunes to help change the mood tide.

The right music for the mind aren’t the same yummy bubble gum music or jams we hear daily on our stations, but ones that have moody sounds like snares and percussion instruments…you know, those odd looking small instruments like fun triangles and xylophones you had or probably played with in an elementary school music class.

I’ll never forget a Music Appreciation course I took in college where “Black Magic Woman” was one oldie song we analyzed.

Whether you listen to the Santana or Fleetwood Mac versions, you’re gonna hear some drama from the music…

You’ll notice when there’s a dramatic movie scene about to come on, they play suspenseful music to rope you in to add to the effects.

And the effects go straight to your head where your mind is. So in that small instant, you’re put in a different mood.

And if you can create your own momentary drama with music inspiration and musical instruments, that may dramatically wake up your dull mind up if that’s what you need. It’s the healthy way without creating real life drama, if ya know what I mean 🎭

And here are a few artists and songs to turn on for daily inspiration:

Al Green

B.B. King (or any Blues music)

And a few modern songs:

Magic (Coldplay)

Latch (Disclosure with Sam Smith)

Or have a home Christmas concert in July or anytime of year.

Seasonal Music Inspiration

Then there are times when you feel uninspired in general over a season. That’s when yo find new music 🎶  to gain your pep in your step.

And realize that’s an opportunity to recognize the need to welcome in a Life transition. Something great is going to come in. It could be a fresh start over.

Instead of adopting a why me attitude, turn on the why not me? And the why not me is about being chosen for your life mission and great activities ahead.

So recognize that seasonal blaise is meant to be a bridge or a transition.

Those seasonal feelings can overlap with the daily need for doses of inspiration. But they are not the same.

With those seasonal feelings, I know in my life that means it’s time to shift in another direction or do something different. It’s the Universe giving a clue to look up and out, instead of simply looking at what was.

And that can be how you approach your seasonal moods!

In growth preparation, finding inspiration (that can start with music inspiration) can get the wheels turning in the new direction.

And if music isn’t enough…

While listening to nostalgic music or getting music therapy, take a break and look at those daily photos, sports coverage, skating… or whatever gives you that temporary joy that snaps you outta your funk.

Try to find more appreciation or contentment to help your way through.

Transitioning is our life’s theme.

And of course, life never tells you or gives you a road map of where to transition shift to (…that would be waaayy too easy!). But if you listen to your inner guides, you have a better chance to figure out the next best step.

So it’s not always as much work as it sounds and if you cooperate with yourself.

Because in those tough moments, you know (or can believe!) that where you are will produce something GREAT on the other side.

And that’s how you can better embrace challenges and changes.

A belief, that’s fully in your control, improves your outlook and attitude.

And when we re-adjust those to help us get through and grow, then we’ve set ourselves up to more smoothly enter a new season with our good intentions.

And when you look back out next time, you’ll be in a different place because the moment has passed.

So what are you waiting for… turn on some good tune vibes 🎶 and ask yourself: what are you inspired about today?

And while you’re needing a sweet break, you can enjoy a healthy oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with exactly 40 chip morsels in case you need to give someone a small job. This is an easy recipe that you or your young ones can make.

heathy oatmeal chocolate chip cookie in one bowl
Print

Simple Healthy Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie

Course Dessert
Cuisine American
Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

  • 4 oz applesauce (easy grocery plastic container size)
  • 2/3 cup oats
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp maple sugar, honey, or molasses
  • 2 tbsp chocolate chips (or 40 chip morsels)
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 cup almond milk or milk of choice

Instructions

  • Combine ingredients and pour onto baking pan forming a roundish shape.
  • Bake on 350°F for about 20-25 minutes until well baked.

7 Stress Eating Habits + Easy Fatayer Appetizer Recipe

Stress eating habits are made better by celebrating occasionally, practicing moderation, and developing the habit of eating healthy foods daily.

Party planning is fun, and good to come up with a sweet and savory spread to enjoy in moderation and share the table joy!

Last time I shared some healthy de-stress tips… so it’s fitting to add the healthy relationship we have with food as a way to stay healthy.

I know that sounds like “easier said than done” advice considering all the tempting stuffing and holiday sweets that deck the holidays. 🎄

Plus, winter season is a natural time to bring out our Kapha body and mind tendencies that welcome in accumulating and comfort foods (stored in our comfort pants 😉). That’s what we don’t want or wish for, but happens unless we make alternative healthy, daily plans.

I thought I’d never get to a savory breakfast as sweet was my go-to all my life. But with healthy desires, one breakfast led to another and these days, it’s almost always savory. So don’t sell yourself short. Your tastes will change with your habits. And you never have to go back to old habits.

This article is meant to inspire your delicious healthy, anti-inflammatory eating habits to kick the holiday stress eating habits to the curb and inspire a healthy eating new year.

Ready?

…Here we go!

1.Lean into the seasonal produce foods that interest you. Like squashes, citrus, apples, and winter berries. You can find so many new fruit varieties like jackfruit and dragon fruit on the grocery shelves (and so many others haven’t even made it from our tropical climate lands to our markets).

2.Reinvent sides. The stuffing sides can be what gets some of us in trouble, and if the carbs is what you’re worried about, you can reinvent the starchier side carbs to work for your body.

Stick with veggies carbs that are the opposite and with very few calories, and some have great flavors such as mushrooms, asparagus, and onions that you can turn into a Provencal herby-forward experience with a little tarragon, white pepper, vinegar or sherry.

Carrots (raw and cooked) are so versatile for sweet and savory dishes where you can substitute the fun marshmallows with a divine anti-inflammatory diet pairing like ginger and textures like nuts or seeds. You can also learn to appreciate food textures as a no-calorie add.

3.Make healthy desserts. This is my specialty area and weakness turned into a positive. It’s no baking secret that butter and refined sugar add to weight gain. And ingredients like white flour and white sugar are inflammatory foods. Moderation is still the modern way. Plus incorporating healthy foods.

Keeping a balance between tasty and healthy is the dynamic pairing duo. And the sweet spot is they are usually easy bakes in minutes like a healthy pear or apple pie with cinnamon sweetness.

You can make a pumpkin pie from pumpkin puree that’s loaded with antioxidant Vitamin A and beta carotene. Mix in some plant-based almond milk. And add allspice that’s all anti-inflammatory goodness as the sweet five-spice version! Think creative sweet potato and green veggie dishes.

For holiday stress eating prep dish habits, you can start with those whole food ingredients, a ‘lil milk, and holiday spices… and then zhugh up with the celebrational peppermint sticks and marshmallows… you don’t have to give up the party sides 😉 (I personally wouldn’t want to because I breathed hospitality party planning for years. Some of the sweet celebratory joy sides are worth a few calories).

Still, it’s all about balance and moderation.

Easy Fatayer Appetizer Recipe.
These hot water pastry fatayer appetizers were inspired by my party planning days. 🥟
Print

Easy Fatayer Holiday Appetizers

Course Appetizer
Cuisine lebanese, Mediterranean, middle eastern
Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Equipment

  • Knife or pizza roller for classic pyramid empanada shapes
  • Drinking glass for empanada half moon pie shapes
  • Rolling Pin

Ingredients

  • Flour
  • Olive oil or butter
  • Water

Instructions

  • Slice and dice up your fillings. spinach and feta or ground meat is traditional for fatayer. Or use what you have in your freezer likeI brussels sprouts (good bitter ingredient like spinach) and fresh red onions. And soft green beans from a can that worked great for blending textures!
  • Make your hot water pastry. No planning or prep time! Just add warm-hot water to flour and a ‘lil butter or olive oil to form a soft ball that holds together. Flatten and roll out with a rolling pin. Fold in half moons like empanadas. and for 3-D triangle shapes you’ll want to cut out squares (at least two inch squares so you can hold enough filling).
  • For classic 3-D pyramid triangles, it’s like origami. You just fold so the corners meet. and then the third side closes it all up into a pyramid-type shape that doesn’t have to look perfect. You don’t need egg water to close like wontons, but you may want to brush with egg for a glossy look.
  • Bake on 350°F for about 25-35 minutes

…Compared to sugar, cream, and butter that was used for daily Grandma southern cooking that didn’t prioritize healthy or wearing our best sized clothing.

And maybe a few pats of butter instead of a stick will do?

Those less healthy daily cooking styles grow on us Vatas, Pittas, and Kaphas alike.

And, sometimes we’re not the ones in charge of doin’ the cookin’, so the better way would be to be choosy and show some love to the host cook by adding a dollop on your plate to try. That doesn’t have to be your main meal leaving leftover regrets.

4.Get inspired by longevity as a goal. We can all learn a thing or two from the Blue Zones that have the largest pocket of Centenarians in the world. They’ve changed our concepts of health. As an example, instead of growing their waist sizes, they’re lowering Earth waste and preparing fresh meals from their natural land.

They’re daily climbing hills while we’re sitting in front of our devices. They’re gathering naturally grown ingredients while we’re foraging in the weekly store. Even though our modern lifestyles are so different, we can still do our healthy bit…

We can be healthy selective.

We can use a list like this rainbow variety 200 Anti-Inflammatory food list to be our angel side guide into the store. And we use our healthy awareness as our cart checkout guide instead of robotically picking up the boxed processed versions.

We can also select the fresh, healthy ingredients that are usually 2-step dish easy.

Such as, abundant whole potatoes can be our purple imo like in Okinawa Blue Zones where they have a high number of living 100 year olds.

Like them, you can peel and boil simple potatoes. Compare that to a processed spud packet loaded with preservatives and sodium. The open packet instead of peel effort is a minimal difference. The extra minutes in cooking is worth it for your body… don’t ya think?

Sometimes what’s needed most for better stress eating habits is a ‘lil freshened up education between our daily eyes. Then when you have a healthy way or recipe in mind, you beeline to those healthy ingredients in the stores… 🐝

You can usually find the unsexy whole potato bags along the sides of the grocery stores in bins.

5.Eat fiber. When I professionally planned parties, I almost always recommended a starter platter called Crudite which is the fancy French word for a raw veggie platter. When you start with celery or carrots every day, you add fiber roughage that helps move along the heavier foods. It’s a good way to prep and rev up your stomach engines.

6.Eat spicy foods. If you can’t do cayenne pepper or hot peppers because of the spice, try red hot chili pepper flakes that are mild and still have capsaicin that’s anti-inflammatory and known to burn calories (and not tongues).

Fresh wasabi and horseradish are other hot sauces you can use if you can tolerate. They not only help clear out sinuses and toxins, but if you’re eating those foods, then  you lose your hankering for the sweet and buttery.

7.Skip the high beverage calories. You can skip the loaded coffee beverages and eggnog calories and go for the plant-based milk latte drink that will be even better with a strong flavor pairing.

If you like licorice, you can lean on anise and fennel spices. And if you like peppermint, go for the mint leaves. And for a brighter drink, zhugh with some citrus zest. These are all calorie saving ideas that are pleasing to the gut, mind, and body.

Add some warming spice with your daily beverage habit when you want something comforting to drink or taste. Now that’s a great stress eating habit you can toast to! And you can make it fun and easy if you keep the spices by your beverage making station. You’ll always have a decked out drink.

Cheers! Cin cin! Salut! ☕️

Holiday peppermint tea is actually good for your aches and the zhughing with candy cane is a sweet way to deck the holidays! ❤️

This site is all about happy and healthy living and eating ways and inspiration. If this is your first time here, I encourage you to find out more about me and this healthy lifestyle blog.