Self-care Archives - Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Calm Mind Best Way Ever

Calm mind is an aspiration often when you’re served up stressful situations in life… from work, family, or friendships that you balance in your life wheel.

A sign that this is not your practice life and life is not a dress rehearsal are good reminders to live a calm mind life as the secret to health and happiness. — Reminder: you get one life to live well 😊

The sooner you practice a calm mind and mindset, create boundaries, and step higher than your face-value situations…

…The better your life and work-life balance.

For the ONE life you get.

And during stressful testing times, the best way to calm your mind is to give the mind a way out.

This article is about how to calm your mind.

Because first off… you are not your mind, but the mind is in you.

Separating yourself as the choice and decision maker (that your mind is not) is your way out… and away from stress and toward your calm, peace, and happiness.

They are opposite directions where you get to choose which way you go. ⬅️➡️

You can take subtle, enjoyable baby steps toward the better direction choice using calm mind apps and daily music therapy 🎶 that will help turn the tide.

Those are the Ayurvedic ways I love. 🧡

But they subtly work in the background, so you won’t necessarily know they worked because they gradually turn the tide from the inside-out into the right direction (mind-body calm and peace).

Using your sense of sight, smell, hearing, and touch are all part of the prescription… and they are Ayurvedic comforting and add joy to your daily life. So why not?

…Gotta love that!

And when you have a loud interfering monkey mind 🙉 that swarms in worry or high ego-drama unrest in your mind, feeling good again is the goal.

To break out of those clouded mind moments or seasons, you would need to shout back at your untouchable and unseen ego that’s your then-invisible enemy in play that’s blocking truth, love, and peace.

At the root, your ego’s job is to protect you in survival situations… to get you to act and react to save your life if a tiger is chasing you.

But in modern daily life, it’s a detriment as ego goes overboard in its protective role!

Shutting off your ego (that shows up as pride) is the answer in most modern stressful situations.

It’s never your fault that your ego acts up due to situational triggers.

…But it is completely up to you how you want it to play out. And if healthy and happy is your goal, then the following tips will help support this…

Lowering ego is the restoring way back to your happiness and inner love-peace.

But not so easy is shutting off others… and actually impossible to do!

So you need to manage those situations.

Because misery is an option that adds zero daily benefits.

I know this well through many trials and situations…

I grew up and lived most my life in the DC metro area where egos fly high in close proximity to America’s politically charged circles where heads butt.

And that permeates in the local air and work environments close by outside of politics.

Pride in ego runs high and causes riffs anywhere in the world.

The problem is: everyone thinks it’s normal.

So it has been normalized. And even congratulated by people (through their egos) in the wins that are sometimes harmful.

This “normal” way trickles down into how we day-to-day operate and our relationships at work, and with family and friends.

But you can rise higher for a better calm mind AND life…

In your daily circles, when you have conflicts and tough situations that you may often grin and bear, do a healthy action that frees your mind from the ego bondage…

To escape from the trappings of you ego, look for an out that will settle your mind.

This is especially useful and needed for your happiness if you are being treated unfairly or feeling displeasure from other people’s ways.

Take the mind-out of the situation by creating options.

And when you have options, your ego mind is no longer a prisoner.

It’s set free and so are you! 🎉

Example: your under-stress boss demands undesired actions from you creating a miserable work environment for you. While you may do the tasks begrudgingly to keep your job (that’s important to keep a roof over your head), in your free time, lunch break, or evenings, start proactively looking for other jobs.

This will subtly show your ego-mind that you have options (and are not trapped) and then you will feel better about your life and situation.

You are free from your ego’s captivity.

And you may even find the job of your dreams in the process!

Another example: your spouse or partner has been taking things out on you or bringing their negative emotional energy that has caused arguments between the two of you. Let the other person work out their unrest issues themselves. Start spending more time with your productive activities and friendships.

Because you can’t control or change other adult’s behaviors and actions.

That’s the bottomline.

Changing people is not the answer.

Provide the information they need, but it’s up to them to come up with their conclusions as it is for you to come up with yours and your peace of mind.

That’s the peacemaking way that will add years to your calm mind life…

And that protects your mind from the ugly ego (yours and theirs) rearing its ugly head in your situations… where anger, resentment, or taking out on other areas grow.

You’re likely served up these type of situations from most people in the world, and specifically those who aren’t as evolved… and letting their ego invisibly and cunningly play them.

In those times, the high ego person may even commonly accuse you of what they are actually going through if you’re in their regular or daily path.

BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE AREN’T AWARE OF THEIR EGO. AND IF THEY ARE, THEY ARE BEING PLAYED IN THEIR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, UNTIL THEY STEP OUT.

As someone who considers herself evolved 🙋🏻‍♀️… for me, it still takes a while to step out of ego’s loud ways and see what’s going on.

And I completely remember the days when I had no clue I was being played.

But information is power!

Breaking out of old mindsets is a worthy fight for a calm mind and inner peace.

And the more practice, the easier it gets…

It sounds ridiculous (and to the ego that effort needs to be made), but my dear friend… the daily effort is the path to happiness.

Effort is the way out of stressful situations with people who walk around not knowing their ego (enemy) is playing them.

And all of us who are doing modern life have experienced people’s ego rearing their ugly heads.

You don’t have to turn far to find examples.

And if you’re in those situations now, don’t play the ego game served up.

Most importantly, don’t further enable bad behavior.

Train the ego person with your boundaries:

Love the person, but hate their behavior.

Be calm and kind, but firm.

Don’t let others manipulate you because they are persistent (e.g. kids can be the worst ego maniacs because they know no better).

It will only get worse if you say yes… to both ego adults or kids.

Stand your ground no matter how you feel in the moment… or the fear you feel creeping up in your that the ego is drumming up.

Rise higher to the opposite that’s love (that the Universe is full of).

Stand your ground with tough love that may feel harsh, but you and the ego-other will be grateful later.

Don’t let your ego block and blind you from seeing the harm that’s so common.

I can see ego-action from a mile away now (informed), and as you learn more you will be able to too! 😊

Ego is the danger for most people where they can’t see what’s going on in their mind and play-by-play actions in them or others’ egos.

Ego-blinding in you or others happen if you don’t consistently pay attention no matter how busy you are… 🙈

Use loss of sleep, appetite, gray hairs, sudden pimples, and body aches for no physical reason as more obvious signs something undesirable is happening to you!

A.K.A ego situations are near.

To catch all this, slow down, be aware and sensitized, and witness what’s happening…

Use your deep breathing present moments to slow down to see clearer and insight into what’s going on.

This is where time on your yoga mat or quiet chair help so you’re more sensitive of your symptoms that are more easy to spot.

Think of it as a diagnoses session where you get your calm mind peace and years back!

Because your body and loving, peaceful mind don’t lie (like the ego does in your busy moments).

And you can use this revealing body balance quiz to help you see what’s going on with your body and mind-body today from your body symptoms POV.

It’s like seeing the printed words on your car side mirror: objects are closer than they appear.

Or the nearby signs.

But in daily myopia and ego-blindness, we don’t see the signs.

When we become aware and get close-sight clarity, then you can see what’s happening in your stressful situations.

You can effectively calm your mind… AND use those stressful situations to make positive impact in your life.

AND OH, this is the best part of stress that makes it healthy good and worthwhile!…

If you’ve already spent or wasted hours or days on a stressful situation that robbed you of joy and peace, you might as well turn your victimhood into something useful in life (and help others going through similar situations).

…like I’m intently doing here in this article I wrote. 😊

I learned at one of my early-on jobs that you teach others how to treat you in life. I use that as a guiding mantra.

And you can too, to set healthy boundaries with others to get your calm mind, peace, happiness, and time back.

You’ve probably heard before that kids need… and LIKE boundaries.

They actually like ’em. And as grown up kids, adults do too!

So embrace that counterintuitive way in your daily situations.

That’s how you’ll get your calm life you aspire to.

And remember, tough love is a good thing for everyone. 🎉

Bird Yoga Pose For Balance, Strength, and Flexibility

Bird yoga pose is one metaphor in life that can help you soar and help with your body balance, strength, and flexibility. It’s a healthy way to kick start your year. Learn what these poses are below. 🦅

Eagle pose is one bird yoga pose you can do anywhere. — More about this “crouching tiger” looking photo below 🐯

Today I’m gonna share how bird yoga pose (and actually 4 bird yoga poses) can help you get some of the tight kinks out.

Below I spend time on Pigeon Pose because I think it’s underrated for all the benefits (especially if your joints need some flexing).

And I believe everyone can use yoga no matter what profession we have or how active we are (as we tend to do repetitive actions that the body can get irritated with).

At some point, some part needs a stretch… and if you keep up with stretching, then the body cells remember the stretched feeling… and you don’t have to grease up the joints as much to get there.

I remember I took a season away from yoga at the beginning of my yoga journey and I thought I would have to start all over again.

I was surprised and happy to find that was not the case. I did lose muscle, but the time off actually restored certain smaller worn muscles. They appreciated the time off 😊

It’s like getting rest on the weekends. You probably need more self-care time than you initially think.

…Like if you take a few days off, your body kinda can unwind but isn’t totally relaxed. It’s ready to jump back into busyness, but that’s not good for your body.

And if you take a purposeful year off like I did to discover, travel, and recoup, you may sleep like a hibernating bear (and bypass a mid-life crises later on if that still exists).

You could call it a gap year or sabbatical.

Then once restored and feeling like a million bucks, your body wants to get back in action. And that brings more meaning and purpose to your life.

In contrast, ignoring the body can catch up with all of us at some point, but the good news is we have a chance to make healthy changes along the way.

When we’re in a busy season, carving out time to work out is hard work, and so many of us don’t get to do it, or we prefer to spend our time with other fun or catch-up activities.

Plus, how exciting is it to talk to others about your workout instead of a fun outing event you had?

…But like many good things for you, they are not exciting.

Like habits. But little by little (and in micro-habits) they make a difference… and the sooner you do them, the sooner they stick.

Yoga fitness is one (less intense) way you can do and stay consistent with fitness habits. 🧘🏻‍♀️

And if it’s important for you to check off working out for your week, consistent yoga could be your Savior… and you never know, could pivot you into other fitness areas as you discover more about your body.

You can do yoga anytime and anywhere without a change of clothing (or babysitter).

If I told you some of the unique places I did yoga, you’d probably laugh… like I did once on a cold, swept restaurant floor and on a busy, warm sanded beach…

Wearing stretchy pants, I even showed off my Bird of Paradise pose to my co-workers.

I found that adding fun challenges with step and move goals, kept me motivated. And keeping the eye on the prize helps… like staying energetically healthy as life progresses.

…I think we all want that in our lives so we can have a high-quality of life as our generations are living longer.

That’s where the bird yoga pose and poses I mention below can help. The poses can relax and stretch you (both body and mind).

And since none of us can fly on our own (at least not today), this is the closest we can get to being a bird. 😁

An inspirational bird yoga pose (that can be goals) could help encourage you to work on all or one of these core yoga areas: strength, flexibility, balance (holistic fitness), and body alignment because one side is usually tighter than another.

…Or, one slight tweak move in a muscle can be all you need for that nagging pain you or others have been complaining about in conversation.

Yoga isn’t a rigid practice (…it’s individualistic), so you can call it stretching if it’s less intimidating and can stretch your imagination to wanting to give it a GO.

The name of poses are really just to help you know which poses to get into, but your body and its needs are you-nique, so tweak the poses in a way that makes you feel good (and doesn’t hurt)!

In case you’re new or consider yourself a yoga beginner, yoga stretches should not give you a wincing pain or any agony where you’re biting your lip.

So that helps for you wanting to come back for more and to try all the bird poses!

…And if you’re not in alignment for certain poses (likes ones bearing the weight of certain body parts), you won’t necessarily feel the misalignment at the moment.

It could show up in a day or two, like when you work out with weights.

…So use good form in the pose moment.

Stretches should feel like you needed the stretch, and the longer you hold the stretch… the less tight it becomes, wearing off the tight kinks.

Of course, if you have any injuries, avoid those areas until they fully heal.

But other than those caveats, yoga can solve most daily and accumulated nagging sore muscle issues!

I’m living proof 😊

So with that encouragement, here are 4 inspirational bird yoga poses to work on and towards (and btw, you won’t end up on all 4’s even if you start out that way, so you can test out your flying ability just a little).

Crane Pose – is a good mat pose for building strength in arms

In this one, you’re supporting your body with your arms. Your feet start off on the floor and then lift off.

You want to be careful not to twist your wrists (the good form is keeping them straight on your mat and perpendicular to your matching left and right shoulders).

When I went through a short season where I stopped doing my arm exercises like push-ups, getting in a Crane pose was like starting over.

I had to build back the arm strength that this pose requires. Your body may feel that way or may not have those issues, but instead other ones in other areas.

Yoga is a journey and that’s what I think keeps it interesting. You’re always working on something.

For you, it could also be strength and/or a combination of flexibility and balance (or all of the above). We all start somewhere with our one and only body, so keep trying.

Pigeon Pose – is a floor or mat pose good for developing flexibility in the hip, legs, knees, and butt(ocks)

When you have tight quads or hips, this pose can help get you outta that quandary.

As with most yoga poses, there are many variations… and if you want to keep your arms and legs on the mat the whole time, that’s an option.

You want to find the body spots that are tight and sore and work on those. You can do this by moving around your pointed straight back leg after you get in the Pigeon Pose (that btw, your leg isn’t supporting the weight of other parts of your body so it’s OK to move it around in this pose if that doesn’t offer your body any pain).

Pigeon Pose can help with your largest muscle groups like your quads, your glutes (butt), plus the tight muscles surrounding your knees that you wouldn’t easily be able to get to in everyday positions.

We underestimate how much we need our knees to easily work to be mobile.

In Pigeon Pose, each side won’t necessarily be equal in terms of tightness and you’ll realize that quickly.

So give more attention to the side that needs the longer stretch.

The easiest way to get in this pose is to start in Downward Dog (your “V” with all 4’s planted) and then hinge your body and arms forward with one leg you want to have in front.

Do this like a flow motion (also called Vinyasa).

Then sit down on the mat focusing on squaring (aligned) hips to your shoulders.

The opposite leg will rest straight (not bent) back behind you with the top of your foot on the mat.

You should feel long and that can feel good in itself!

With this bird yoga pose, you can also work on opening your shoulders if you can reach back and grab your bent leg and foot.

This is a chance to look up to the ceiling or sky.

It’s a nice break for your neck.

If you regularly cook, clean floors, or work on a laptop on your lap, you may not realize how many hours you’re looking down all the time, and that hurts your neck that supports your head, brain, and reminder… your mind control center.

Well, when it’s put that way!…

But anyway…

In this active Pigeon Pose, there’s a good opportunity to look up (and restore your neck).

OK, this reminds me of movie theaters… have you ever sat in the front row of a movie theater? 🎭

I haven’t been to one in ages. But when I was a teen, movie theaters were often packed and we’d arrive later and not having a choice, had to sit in the front row just a few feet away from the big screen.

That felt like the worst movie scenario at the time. We had to crank our necks and gaze up for the entire movie.

Looking back now, we didn’t know the yoga neck-posture benefits we were deploying back then. You may remember me next time you’re at the movie theater 😉

So deploy that head up move in your active Pigeon Pose… or you can gracefully go into a more passive Swan Pose (like in the theater production Swan Lake). 🦢

This is almost like a resting child’s pose, but a great stretch all around as your arms are stretched long on the mat and your one leg behind you.

I love this bird yoga pose as you feel graceful as your body is stretched from one end of the mat to the other (maybe why ballerinas love it too).🩰

If you have tight quads or muscles you can’t seem to get to in your regular stretch routines, this pose can do the trick over time or days.

The longer you can hold the pose (like minutes at a time), the better the benefit. You feel the healing working when you ever so slightly move and the tightness eases up.

It feels good just talkin’ about it 😉

Eagle pose – is a good standing balance bird yoga pose

On earth, eagles are harder to come by in the world. They were an endangered species and can fly higher than their prey and vultures.

That’s the meaning behind: “I can fly higher than an eagle” song verse in Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” song.

This one takes a little body coordination memory. Just remember, the same side where one leg is lifted off the ground is the same side where the arm/elbow will wrap underneath the other. Don’t overthink it!

Then in union (the definition of yoga), the hands will meet.

When you’re in this pose, you feel good for being able to stand on one leg in balance… and you can do this anytime and during commercial breaks.

Or even in regular clothes, like this photo of me below where I’m in a dress wearing big costume jewelry ready to go to a holiday event, but still getting the benefits of my eagle here 🦅…

Bird of Paradise – is a pose that challenges flexibility, balance, and leg strength (…and isn’t a bird at all. It’s a tropical orange flower that could be found in this type of paradise environment at the Miami Botanical Center).

When you can do this Bird of Paradise pose, then you can be thinking you reached yoga paradise

The Bird of Paradise pose is a complete mind-body pose (and not one in awareness where I want to be wearing a dress without showing too much of my flower if ya know what I mean!). So you’ll just have to trust me here and give it a try yourself.😉

And if you want to know the mind-body mechanics of the bird yoga pose, I wrote a past blog post on this great mind challenge bird of paradise pose.

If you can do this pose, then you have a good shoulder opener, leg strength builder, and torso flexor, all-in-one.

Plus your mind will be stretched in a good way (focused and in the moment).

Just something to consider especially if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and stuck in life… Bird of Paradise yoga pose can be a nice little goal to take your mind off for a brief moment.

You can change your outlook one bird yoga pose (and day) at a time… like I did being one with this Takahe bird (or blue hen if you prefer).

De-Stress Reminders During Holidays

De-stress is highly called for during the thick of holiday season and looming year-end goal deadlines. Because stress can build up fast any day like a ton of bricks. And can go away just as quickly like a tumbling over Jenga set.

But these types of short-term stressors are different than life long-term stressors that often don’t have a quick ending resolve. You can use the 5 reminders below today to help you through your waiting process.

You can also use short-term de-stress feelings and the useful reminders throughout this article to help you with your long-term stress situations.

…Like for me, I use baking as a way to de-stress and relax after a work week. It keeps me on my toes, literally. I prepare a sweet table of goods and choux.

A healthy Greek yogurt tear-and-share raspberry-pistachio Paris Brest and lemon coconut choux.

…and you too can create your table to help shoo-away stress, and celebrate de-stress.

What isn’t so easy to de-stress restore is undercurrent effects and emotional turmoil stored in the mind-body coming from long-term stress that’s hard to identify.

Those are usually invisible sources which means they’re not as easy to pinpoint and process: like dreams unrealized or deep trauma.

…Or areas of life that haven’t gone the way you wanted.

But unlike long-term stress sources, short-term stress sources are easier to describe with people, things, work deadlines and tasks involved. They are temporary thorns to the side or lasting for a season that has an end (like holiday season end).

Experiencing those temporary stressors mean you’re alive, putting yourself out there, and trying in this life! 🎉

And your gained experiences coming out of stressful situations won’t go wasted in your future as they help you build resilience and adaptability (that make you more productive and joyful, not leaning in on the negative emotions).

Plus, you can productively use the short-term stress situations to de-stress feel-good when they’re immediately over.

Then your heart beats its normal speed again and you do a happy dance inside for your accomplishments. 🫀

…Like when you make a deadline and now the work is out of your hands.

…You feel lighter as the weight is lifted and you get a quick sigh of relief.

Those de-stress happy relief feelings can last for a day or weeks, but they gradually wear off.

But through the process of handling stressful situations and then experiencing them go away, that teaches us for the next time… that things will be okay.

And those lessons carry you to help handle the long-term stress situations that sit as elephants-in-the-room for any season, usually season after season. 🐘 🐘

They’re overhanging in this season of your (and my) life. The problem hasn’t resolved or the dream hasn’t transpired yet.

This can be a few things or big areas in your life…

…And I know how that goes because I started out without balance where I had wheel-of-life (real wheel) problems that felt like I was wrapped around tornadoes. 🌪️

But the problems… no matter what they were, became less problematic as I grew because I gained more experiences and resilience. I also prayed for answers. And my self-care wheel grew.

Eventually coming out of each of those tough situations taught me the most about how to handle stress better and embrace a better life meant for me.

…And your challenging areas in your life have grown you the most. ⛰️

Long-term Stressors are Your Future Dreams

Those long-term stressors from decades ago (that are still around 🐘) are setups for your future dreams realized. ✨

They are what will be your Future Life that has more meaning and purpose than how you started off as an adult.

They will be part of your destiny… and they will lead you away from a ho-hum life that you’re not meant to live.

The sweet spot for you today is to see them as part of a long-term plan and believe they are already yours in the future.

But wisely let them go now if the timing isn’t right.

One day the stars will align in perfect timing for those dreams manifested. Just know they are yours.

In that mindset, you keep going and growing in your life now.

Also, connect-the-dots and remind yourself that your big dreams are in your recurring problems. Yes, they are!

And when you find the blessing in your problems today, you bypass unnecessary stress.

The problems in disguise will deliver you to your dreams on the other side that will change shape, form, and clothes. 😊

Those tough areas of life today that don’t seem to have any resolve in sight can take many twists and turns, heart and headaches, and often many years to come to pass…

They’re the recurring situations that keep showing up as a thorn to your side when you least expect or hope would resolve.

But most likely, they fly in and out of your life and then disappear from view again. But they are not outta the picture, even though they’re not fully visible yet.

They re-appear from time to time as reminders to keep us humble and from doing things and making decisions that we would regret later on.

…And they’re the same thorns that are meant to be turned into victory roses (dreams) later down the destiny road on your designed path.

…No matter what age you are, you have those thorny dreams right now in your life.

You know exactly what your big dream is that has shown up before in some way you know, even if you’re still wondering.

And how you manage your long-term stressor feelings is going to affect your daily life outcomes, physical, and mental health.

…So stay curious, not furious.

The dream triggers and memory reminders are hints for you to keep dreaming about this are, like you do when you’re motivated to fulfill accomplishments.

Except these big dreams blow the little victories away.

Jobs and accolades you acquire will pale in comparison to your dream purpose in this life.

If your dream purpose didn’t show up again occasionally, you wouldn’t know it can be real or leave room for chances.

You wouldn’t be leaving room for the possibilities… where anything is possible in this life.

And this life is meant to be a big adventure (as none of us know the future).

The choice is yours as to whether you embrace that what happens to you is good for you (and not a bad setback).

Enjoy the ride!

I know sometimes that can be easier said than done (or may seem like pie-in-the-sky thinking)… so in those times, simply start by working on stressing less as nothing good comes from stressful feelings.

And, a good de-stress reminder is:

Remember to keep failing forward.

…Especially on your personal growth attempts (to be a better person).

And remember to keep trying because anything worth pursuing won’t be easy.

If it were easy, you’d never appreciate what you got because you didn’t work to get it.

And these are 5 good de-stress reminders to help you through the season and the holidays especially when long-term stressors show up or blow up again…

De-Stress Reminders Around Holidays

1.Get peace.

If it’s meant to be, it will happen.

Find your peace.

Right now, today, and in this moment your life deserves peace.

Both calm inner peace and peace about your decisions.

Use discernment for decisions needed to be made and clarity from baby or micro step actions forward.

You’re meant to live whole, loving, and healed today.

(The opposite of living in fear or feeling something inside you is missing or broken).

You’re not a victim to your circumstances… and you can break out of those feelings and mindset in your journey.

“Let the peace of God rule in your heart.” – Colossians 3:15

2.Congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come in your situation.

Reflect on how far you’ve come with your same and recurring stressful situations that used to be so painful in some way.

When you don’t care so much about the situations causing stress anymore as you once did, that’s a healthy move because you’re letting go (and letting light in).

You’re also naturally learning to de-stress some in the process.

Continue to live celebrating your internal wins daily while life is working things out in your favor for the aligned perfect timing. ✨

3.Believe in good things to come.

Believe that what you’re going through and have gone through (…maybe painfully) will help your situation in the end and on the other side. 🌈

Waiting, setbacks, disappointment, and delays now are purposefully setups for your comeback and life appointments.

You can be a victor now by changing your feelings, relaxing, and de-stressing.

Your waiting and what you’re going through now won’t last, but your dreams will come to pass and they will last!

4.Keep going forward and growing healthy.

Keep growing and learning despite your stressful situations.

Keep changing your thoughts to positive, loving ones.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” -Roman 12:2

Your other life-giving areas of your life are meant for this season. 🌱

Cherish them today, because they will change one day.

Use them to help you de-stress through your worry, thorn situations.

5.Keep a de-stress routine.

Find a way to de-stress every day.

I like a warm cup of tea. 🫖

I also do 4-7-8 breathing: inhaling in the gratitude and exhaling stressful negative energy.

When I felt the weight of my situations, I made sure to re-center myself back on my yoga mat and think about what I would be looking forward to later in the week and at nights.

Daily, I stay grateful for what I have in life as part of my habit stack routine. We all have things to be appreciative of in our lives… shoes and socks, showers, food, roof, lights, tea…

And my peaceful ritual every night is at 5:30 pm while working and I’m waiting for the daily sky show to light up.

Looking up and glancing out my western facing windows from my seat, I see the sky colors gradually change from day to night.

I do a little work and then look back up to see the dark rainbow colors change like an Aurora Borealis display.

Occasionally there are late afternoon storms. I find those cleansing. I appreciate the thunder claps and silvery pitter patter rain drops.

It’s not about the type of show I get, it’s about the day and night showing up for me that I take personally.

Every day like clockwork for a half-hour, I pause and a new painted sky happens, often in shades of purple, orange, blues and whites, and that reminds me that EVERYTHING will be all right as promised.

…the sunset show is my de-stress therapy for this season. 🌅 And maybe that’s something to embrace in your changing season.

ADHD Can Be Improved with Self Control

ADHD is a way to describe the unfocused nature that Ayurvedic Vata anxious minds possess that we accept as part of us.

But we don’t have to lean into the negative parts…

This “Be Kind” note-to-self message wall. 💕

We can be kind to ourselves.

Because ADHD symptoms usually shows up as inattentiveness, unfocused concentration, and scatter-brained thinking.

ADHD usually shows up as impulsive behaviors and actions that don’t match up or align with what’s said. The inconsistent actions often leave a trail of of regretful, bad decisions or impressions on others who have close interactions. The behaviors appear non-logical and without rhyme or reason.

Blame this on brain hyperactivity. 🧠

This can exacerbate and made worse from stress, anxiety, or wrong medications.

Those descriptors can describe a lot of what’s happening in people and culture today.

And that we can witness firsthand with those we work with or alongside.

The problem is people want to stay away from those people and their behaviors.

If those are leaders or bosses, we lose respect for their ways and decisions that follow.

While you can’t change others, you can point out what you see, because the strong case ADHD symptoms aren’t visible to those affected.

It is them.

Like the side mirror saying printed word: “objects are closer than they appear” that is often missed.

And if you’re the one with ADHD, you can check-in with yourself to see how you appear to the world.

You can also learn to express yourself in better ways, so you’re not living in an undesired, less optimal way.

You can exchange a jumpy and impulsive brain that makes you want to hop around, and instead embrace thinking with a higher, spiritual lens.

As complicated as the gray matter is that we have inside us, we don’t know what causes ADHD in our evolved world.

We just know it exists.

But the symptoms can be minimized with better ways like a balanced life, self-control, and optimizing opportunity with brain fog that is often spiritual.

Whether the ADHD descriptive symptom traits describe your tendencies, loved ones, or those you work with, being aware can help grow your spiritual journey and personal growth in life.

You can use the mantra: never waste a hurt or growth opportunity.

So it’s fitting that this article is good for lifelong learners or those who aspire to be. Below is about how you can use ADHD tendencies to your benefit and help push you into higher growth that a presently mindful and spiritual-tuned up life often does.

You can improve your self-control (away from impulsive actions) that help to further develop patience and taking wise actions that produce better life results (than the initial actions that would have been from erratic and default ADHD thinking ways).

A good example of self-control is like waiting to purchase something costly… to allow time to know whether you really want or desire the item thing later on or if it’s just a fleeting impulsive feeling.

Spontaneity is good if it’s healthy, but if it leaves you (or your wallet) with regret then that can lead to unhappiness and unhealthy feelings and consequences.

So those are a few good reasons to possibly want to change ADHD symptoms in the first place.

And knowing how to do that is useful and practical life advice.

First off, there are many ways to look at ADHD.

One is that you could be born with anxious tendencies like dominant Vatas (in Ayurvedic terms).

Added to the ADHD mix, anxiety can cause a whole host of undesired ways.

In case you think that’s not you, we all have some traces of Vata in us like in our worry thoughts that’s a form of anxiety but in the mind.

It can also further set off imbalanced Kapha clingy or Pitta aggressive behaviors.

But more closely, ADHD is correlated with anxiety and Vata.

And ADHD with those symptoms IS curable with more love to conquer fear that anxiety and worry are rooted in.

And exercising self-control from creeping-in fear feelings is the best way to the cure.

Stop it at the entrance gate with good healthy habits.

Exercising peace is a form of self-control.

I was reminded of peace and love when I was posing in Prague up against the Lennon Wall representing “All You Need Is Love” (that originally came about during a time of war and upheavals)… Fear is the opposite of love.

…I remember the song from the Yellow Submarine record album 💿 I listened to on a record player as a child… in case you’re a Beatles fan or love record players?

The opposite of love is fear.

Fear is at the core of causes of war in people.

Fear is also primal and more deep than anxiety. Both worsen ADHD symptoms and can bring out the worst in ADHD affected people.

Fear is what drives most bad decisions.

So, running away from those fear-based thoughts in safe situations will help you get a better handle on ADHD symptoms as you align with your calm and loving sides.

From my own early-on past experiences, I know an unsafe life situation caused me to have an anxiety or panic attack.

That type of anxiety reaction can cause you to freeze as your body takes on uncontrollable body sensations like heart palpitations.

And similarly, ADHD can dominate your life in an uncontrollable, shocking way when you least expect.

At least temporarily.

And that can lead to unexplainable behaviors.

The best way to be armed is to be informed and self-aware.

Coming out of your situations, if you focus on the positives or what you learned that can help you in the future, you gain more clarity and ideas for changes you can make to your life that’s part of spiritual growth.

The Universe helps to meets you there, where you are, and where you will be.

…Maybe that’s on your yoga mat or quiet space before making big decisions. 🧘🏻‍♀️

Breathwork and aware-mindfulness can help take the edge off.

These are powerfully spiritual built-in ways we have to handle calming ourselves that also helps ADHD.

You can help draw yourself to the present moment space that makes you more self-aware and deeply aware of your inner self as part of the journey toward spiritual growth.

At the very least you’re moving away from negative energy in present moment awareness.

And that carries into your day.

…That’s not coincidence.

That’s the energy you carry that radiates into the world and back to you like a boomerang and attracts the things and right people into your life. ✨

The Law of Attraction is a spiritual lens.

Baby step one can be: find a positive in any situation that appears negative overall.

The reframing habit is life-giving.

And giving life in the present is a gift.

It can help free you from closely-tied worry and fear-based thoughts that exacerbate ADHD.

Those thoughts start in the unconscious or subconscious mind and affect the body in emotions and physical stress-inflammation, if not protected.

…And produce scattered thoughts, unclarity, and worsen ADHD symptoms.

But you can de-sensitize from the emotional drama the ego mind wants to pull you into.

…I know that’s not easy because ego is the equivalent of having a bullhorn in your ear without the physical object as a visual. 📢.

But if you exercise vigilant awareness and self-control effort, you can re-route your thoughts and put yourself in the healthy mindset and actions that will help bypass the negative and recurring mind spin cycle that’s often found in ADHD occurrences.

Because we don’t generate all our thoughts. 💭

The subsconscious ego rooted inside all of us will rip positives and blow up negative energy. It will have a field day with your thoughts if you allow.

And ADHD is a perfect platform for ego to thrive in.

And that’s not a field trip any of us want to take.

So exercising self-control and keeping aware and alert in your mind’s eyes will change that trajectory! 👀 Be on guard to witness your thoughts as an observer.

Don’t let the mind just wander or you’ll be walking around with a cloud over your head (not fully present). And that can lead to bad ADHD impulsive decisions.

There are simple things you can do: pray, take walks and warm showers, do yoga, pay attention to nature outside, and listen to warm, feel-good music that inspires you.

Shake it off!

By slowly doing the things that restore Ayurvedic mind-body balance, you can bounce back faster.

And then on one ordinary hour, the sun will appear back out. ☀️

That’s how you can also help any ADHD symptoms along.

Exercise self-control and purposefully walk away and distract yourself in a healthy way.

Have a calming and inspiring activity ready to go like journaling or knitting so you don’t do something impulsive you’ll regret.

That’s positive self-control.

And then you may just discover a new passion or path that’s also part of your spiritual growth.

You can purposefully open doors to learn something new.

A visual would be like the American TV game show, The Price is Right, where a game’s winning answer is usually covered.

After contestants shout out an answer, they learn quickly if it’s the right one… and sometimes they get to try again.

Similarly, stepping out into spiritual faith is when you don’t see but believe that there is a blueprint on your life already planned out.

Landing on the right ones is a matter of timing and trying like you would do in playing joyful games.

Strengthening your faith, you can call up the better (non-ADHD) ways automatically served up by the mind.

Freedom comes from calling out and knowing what you’re facing and getting answers spiritually already inside you waiting for your response.

Literally, you can call out, “I have ADHD” and that’s liberating because now your spirit can help you in awareness, meeting you where you are.

And in our Universe, most people accept ADHD and know what that generally is so they will understand if you act funny and can even sympathize and joke with you about it to help you get through moments.

Making it (ADHD) okay allows less stress into your life and especially in a more sympathetic world that we now live in than from the past where vulnerability sharing was frowned upon.

Today, you can surround yourself with forgiveness and start with forgiving yourself for your quirky abilities that make you uniquely you.

…And finally, slow down.

Remember the old saying that it’s about the (quality) moments that take your breath away and not how many breaths you take. Use that as your ADHD mantra. 💨

Ujjayi energy breathing is a good practice.

You’re not stuck with the ways of how you started your day today… or from your childhood.

We start life with hopeful, rosy glasses and the playbook ends up very different and better if we exercise better habits and self-control.

That’s the best way through life.

And when life doesn’t go as planned or there’s a bend that’s par for the course, you get to grow in your deeper spiritual self ways like with self-control, and becoming more humble.

You get to develop your empowered happiness that’s so much more impactful than temporary happiness.

And in that way, ADHD doesn’t have to be a full life sentence or the life you live out today.

It’s changeable (as our bodies and we are). It depends on you and the choices you make. 💕

Start Over Helps You (and My Blog Story)

Start over is a theme that many of us have experienced and maybe a lot since 2020. Whether we wanted to or not, it can be our ticket to our best lives… and that’s what this article is about so you can embrace your start over opportunities.

One thing we can all have a say in is… evolving in our personal growth and what matters to us.

Embracing what healthy gains we’ve made brings rewards for our daily lives.

And embracing starting over as a new way or perspective is a blessing gain…

It’s a micro mindset pattern shift you can practice in your day (maybe even today), so you can see and feel how start overs are good, and not bad or sad interruptions.

That self-training helps our future and best outcomes.

Because changes in life are meant to help you and if you see it that way, you help yourself grow and further.

For most my younger adult life I played the victim without knowing I had that internal narrative.

I also thought that choices I made would be permanent. I was naive.

And when good situations didn’t last, I was disappointed.

I saw them as failures.

And I fell for that over and over again.

If you didn’t have role models and influences growing up that drilled into you the more positive ways and helped shape your self-esteem, then that’s the pattern you’re likely to fall into.

And the saving grace is we have the Universe on our side as fall back and providing answers to us.

We may call it luck, but it’s part of the plan. 😉

You’ve probably heard the saying that the Universe keeps serving up the same lessons. The lessons are there to help us and not make us feel less than..

…I didn’t know that in my younger years.

And as years went by, I grew up in wisdom and got revelation, leaning more into internal truth.

Truth and reality aren’t the exact same thing.

Reality is what physically is happening or not happening. Truth are the thoughts that are real and factual. And lies are the opposite in false beliefs. Ego perception makes you believe they are real, when they are not.

And in that case, then anyone can be a victim to their own ego.

Recognizing this, my life realities started to better align with truth, where I also realized nothing stays the same.

I told my ego the truth, that it wasn’t just what I experienced.

Because everyone has their versions of uncertainty.

In my belief lies I had bought into, I was the only common denominator for the situations I faced.

So that made me the victim. But I turned that narrative around one situation at a time.

Rewriting my beliefs with love over ego, starting with experience outcomes (reality) showed me the deficit in my faulty thinking that my mind led me to believe.

And took me from victim to abundant mentality.

It was micro-start overs from little lie beliefs that got me over the hump.

Being abundant minded, changes the identity to someone who takes responsibility for changing her thoughts to positive, loving ones for better outcomes and perspectives.

Perspectives transform your life when no influences can.

And if a perspective change is what you think you need, this helped me:

This one exercise helped to changing the tide…

Let’s take something most of us have privilege to do every day: we take a shower.

And imagine if one day you do your regular shower routine but you don’t get most the soap off your body or shampoo out of your hair. Maybe you were distracted and busy with shower thoughts.

After you’ve dried off and gotten dressed for the day, you realize that small miss.

What are your options?

Live with the fact and try to forget about the remaining residue.

Or…

Take a few extra effort minutes to go back in the shower again and rinse off knowing that you’d have to dry with a towel again and essentially re-trace all the steps you would do when you got in the shower the first time. It’s a small hassle in a busy day.

And while most would probably just live with it and get on with their day…

If you have the extra few minutes, you’re better off to get back in the shower.

Why?

…So you can get your best day.

If you don’t do a redo, then you keep the residue theme running in your day as part of your thoughts and maybe a physical reminder.

If you do rinse off again, you start clean and fresh.

So those extra 5-10 minutes back tracking was worth the time.

Initially our lazy bone tendencies can kick in and resist.

But fight the urge and jump to the though part of what you’ll gain in those critical decision moments.

Change the thoughts in your mind to productive ones, such as: you’ll be happier later on.

Picture yourself happier.

Try this taking extra minutes with another daily self-care or micro routine you do that didn’t work out the first time… maybe cleaning, shower, or grooming routine.

Take an extra 5 minutes.

For the narcissist, you don’t have to tell them twice, but for the rest of us — those are good minutes.

The micro change in our new habit and patterns creates new perspectives.

Eventually you don’t mind a redo or start over whether it’s a shower or a season. You teach yourself not to succumb to immediate feelings and wants for better outcomes.

Embrace the lesson here is: don’t skip what will bring more joy and a clear mind as the biggest gain rewards.

And on a grander scale in your life, start over with what you first started with that has never left you. That you still think about today.

Those can be part of your dreams come true realities.

Another wisdom lesson is: forget time. Time never heals. As you grow wiser, you realize changes and experiences heal.

We can’t gain time. And the feeling of lost time can keep you stuck if you let it.

Like take me for example, I started a blog in 2009 that took off.

And a few months in I had to quit.

The blog was about my local area businesses I was living near and I ended up moving that year.

So the blog no longer made sense to me as I couldn’t be in that area, and it was hard to juggle writing with the busy work life I had in the hustle and bustle of DC.

Then in 2019, I started over where I picked up writing again.

And then started this blog in 2020.

Starting over in blogging again was so different the second time around.

I had some blogging skill experience under my belt but the landscape had changed.

In 2009, very few out there knew what a blog was.

And when I came back a decade later, the internet scape was full of blogs.

But that didn’t stop me as blogging is something I have felt passionate about since I got my first taste.

Despite the challenges, I still feel as passionate if not more, so I know it’s meant to be.

In your start over or start overs, if you come back, that’s a good sign too! Because most things in life we don’t go back to unless it’s meant for us.

…Maybe the first time we weren’t ready, the timing wasn’t right, or we needed to make a little tweak (or perspective adjustment in ourselves).

It was all of the above for my blog.

My blog topic this second go round is so much more personal and about helping my reader’s personal growth, happy life, and healthy living.

In my first blog experience where I got the chance to interview business owners, I wouldn’t have been ready yet to write on personal topics.

But with another decade, personal growth, and more life experiences, then I was able to launch and sustainably contribute writing in this blog.

So my encouragement to you, my blog article reader, is to use your start overs as your opportunity to take steps in the areas you couldn’t do the first time around when you weren’t quite ready.

The first time wasn’t a failure.

That was your introduction.

Going back is a high call.

We can miss our higher calling if we choose to look at time and deadlines as rules.

If we allow for our entire life to be the time span we accomplish our goals, then we open up opportunities.

How you finish is what matters most, not how you started.

So it’s never too late no matter if you’re in your 30s, 40s, or 60s and beyond.

And in the shower metaphor… by the end of your day, you won’t have remembered the time getting back in the shower, but you will remember feeling like a million bucks coming out and what you achieved that day because of your feelings… and that maybe you wouldn’t have if you let soapy thoughts last.

Just something to consider about your start over that every day and morning opportunity is. 🌅

I like to reset every day with new food creations. I was inspired to start over with this sweet potato squid turmeric salad bowl of anti-inflammatory food goodness. 🍠