Mindfulness brings in happiness because in the present head space, you have the chance to let it go and bring in light.
You have the now space to make the better choice.
You can count 1-Mississippi as a mind gap or mind the gap that is popular from the London tube words.
It’s as simple and complicated as that.
In the mindfulness space, you get to choose your positive or negative thoughts and responses despite your initial thoughts.
Thoughts are better negotiated if you want your best outcomes.
Plus, practicing being mindful is an opportunity to grow.
And as an easy test, you’re in the now if you understand these words.
Whether you’re here or not 😁, good mindfulness lessons (especially for love relationships) can be learned from an entertaining reality relationship show like Love Is Blind. 📺 👩❤️👨
Have you seen the worldly Netflix series? 🌎
The premise of the show is that you can fall in love on a blind date (potential partner unseen) behind the pod walls.
The goal: to find your person and get married at the end.
But the healthy spiritual growth way to look at it is that you come out a better person no matter what happens. Because not all relationships are meant to turn into marriage as a sign of success.
…You can come out with new friends of both sexes, learn more about yourself, and grow up in the process. 🎉
The latest season was in the DC metro backdrop where I spent most of my years… and is always in the news especially these days.
…And not for mindfulness reasons.
In the LIB love reality show microcosm, you see the raw moments that aren’t edited.
Where blindspots are made transparent…
And it’s easier to learn from others watching on the sidelines.
When tested in our own relationship situations… that’s where the rubber meets the road. 🏎️ 🛣️
But more knowledge leads to better self-awareness, and these are some gleaning points that can help you…
In Love Is Blind DC, the couples embark on the engagement journey that ranges from loving couple selfie-video filming to fiery heated disagreements. 🔥
...Ugh, that’s how the show can be renamed “Ego Is Blind.”
And in those difficult moments, we see what’s going on behind-the-scenes…
A beautiful budding relationship unravels and goes reality life awry.
Not the couples’ faults… learning about ego devise is something that takes time to learn (if caught on and learned).
Egos (not eagles 🦅) invisibly soar and hover over us and are more magnified in relationships. 🔎
💡 And that’s the main issue in every relationship issue.
…Did you catch that?
The masks are unveiled, gloves come off, and differences are an ego mind playground to create more divide.
Since the LIB participants are 20 and early 30-something young adults, they don’t have the same experiences they’ll have in 10 or more added years as mature adults. That’s just a fact of life.
You trade in youth for wisdom if you’re on the growth track. 📈
And in the episodes we can see that they don’t know what they don’t know that lessons-learned experiences could provide. We’re all in that boat for one area or another.
In relationships, couple happiness comes from letting go of the petty stuff. And that’s where mindfulness can be the handy solution.
Being tired or moody any day can derail from that mission, so staying alert and wise to know yourself enough can help your conversations and situations you get roped in.
They help in my situations.
A simple “can we talk about this another time?” is sometimes all that’s needed.
…And if the other person can calm their momentary crushed ego and say, “sounds good” and stick to that, then there’s no issue.
And that way, you make the issue smaller to ego as you stay objective and get further away from emotions.
Let your pot simmer down inside you first.
Because situations will arise. Everyone is different. Another fact of life. So embrace the differences, even if it’s your close partner.
…Just remember they grew up different than you even if they grew up down the street. They are them and only YOU are you. 🪞
You’re the only one you can change and are fully accountable for.
Show up mature as you can be. And if both are mature, then saying yes! at the altar has a better chance (despite what it seems like or is said weeks before that… which btw, the ego mind will chomp at).
Every moment has potential for ideas to collide even with the person you think you know best or as well as yourself.
One day, what seemed perfect is no longer.
Expect that to happen.
When that happens…
Talk it out.
Have fun again.
Tyler and Ashley do this well taking sky diving and sharing moments. 🪂
Garrett and Taylor do this well laughing, playful, and enjoying each other’s company.
Those loving honeymoon period ways get them through their tough times.
Those are the couples that make it through LIB married at the Reunion.
That’s the relationship experience they signed up (and hoped for)… a life partnership that’s enhanced with two.
When they ran into a disagreeing situation, they let upset emotions out which is communication. They also moved on in their own mindfulness moments.
Maybe smartly asking themselves in the break: “why was I really so upset?”
…Usually it’s from an experience or idea from the past that was traumatic and is now pulled into the gray matter.
The secret is knowing that most of it is curable in self-discovery that improves relationships, and not about changing someone else.
And in tough relationship times, we can learn 3 lessons:
Lesson #1: Wisdom teaches us to move peacefully in the moment.
The most mismatched couple in LIB DC was Nick and Hannah. They had a parent-child relationship that was obvious wouldn’t end well.
Usually there’s a honeymoon period but for this couple, it was obvious from the start who would wear the pants.
Words deeply matter. Saying aloud things like: I’m not the same person I was who had fun before…” is nothing short of putting a dog’s tail between its legs. But that’s common ego power trying to dominate in language.
Nick could have addressed that comment, walked away, and let Hannah think about her words. But since he kept taking it to the end of their relationship, it just got worse.
And so it turned into passive-aggressive behavior.
A lesson in mindfulness: at the late group mini-reunion, she could’ve sat down with Nick and her best friend in the pod at the table rather than let her jealous emotions creep up later and address privately.
Wisdom say you never get a second chance with the moment.
Mindfulness thinking: you may never have another chance with this person again so embrace the moment (as in “in the moment”).
That situation could have been avoided if she acted on her deeper feelings at the moment in a peaceful way.
That’s how mindfulness practice could have helped.
Practicing mindfulness on a yoga mat or away from social situations (alone) when things are good, can allow breathe-in space to be brought into awareness in impromptu situations. 🧘🏻♀️🧘
Lesson #2: Be the giving person. Two giving people are better than one.
Never go into a relationship seeking gain for your life, and expect it to end well. The other person wants to be loved and that’s the agenda.
The couple that became a hot mess was Tim and Alex. Their perceptions of each other were completely off. Another ego power trick.
They had miscommunication and unrealistic expectations.
There are no mind readers as Alex pointed out and especially with unspoken expectations.
There’s not one right way with two people involved, but there’s usually a point in the right direction.
In the moment, a person can directly tell the other partner their needs. Both will feel better about it no matter what it is.
…It’s how it is said that’s most important.
When you say “I feel…” it’s totally different than ego judgment words like “you always…” Those 2-words are the difference between love and ego. 🥰❤️🔥
Practicing using more loving words helps direct the mind to those ways. Let the other person be themselves and not come up with a list of “all I want you to do is…” Leave that legacy to their mother that can get away with that agenda impact.
Lesson #3: Respect should never be a word tossed around in love relationship communication.
When the other mentioned they felt disrespected, that was a bad sign. The “respect” word doesn’t belong in relationships.
Respect is a word you use in an office place that’s an arm’s distance business-to-business arrangement.
Respect is usually earned from deed or time. Co-workers know when they are respected because work boundary lines aren’t crossed. It’s nothing personal.
In love relationships, it’s all personal.
In a loving relationship, you don’t want to earn love or your place to the other. That’s inferiority vs superiority (ego power).
Your loving partner wants a soft place to fall, not a daily enemy they face. Those common feelings happen when out-of-alignment or out of happy mindfulness.
Besides, respect means different things to each person mostly based on upbringing. As a couple, if you grew up on opposites sides of the grass, then respect definitions are wildly different based on their grass past life experiences that can’t be defined in one 7-letter word.
But bringing in more self-awareness, mindfulness, self-discovery helps to turns things around and bring more peace to lives and relationships.
Remember changing your words said can change your relationship.
Do unto others as they would like to be treated, keep growing, and doing your best. Good luck! 💘