Busy doesn’t have to be your life if you want to get unstuck this season. And this 7-and-a half minute article has notes about how you can declutter busy in your life (and get more of the authentic best life you’re meant to wisely live!).
I know both ways well because busy is something I grew up aspiring to. A BUSY LIFE was my purpose like a busy bee going from flower to flower.
…when I grew up and lived in the busy DC metro area culture where everyone working is busy. Having busy plans on-and-off work meant you were important in some way.
…And not being busy meant you didn’t have a life.
I thought busy was a great word, and lived busy up into my 30s.
Today, busy is a “b” as in bad word now to me years in.
But lemme quickly tell you how I got there…
I simply buzzed away from the busy bees in the DC metro area I grew up in for starters… 🐝
Before that, busy was a charm bracelet I wore. It also meant complicating life by adding more and more. Accumulating is a deeper concept that accumulates, taking up space in life (and adds to or creates Kapha imbalances).
The opposite of a simple life sounded so boring.
And where I’m from, you can simply say “I’ve been busy” and you won’t get questioned.
The answer of being busy often got the equivalent of a smiling thumbs up. 👍
On top of those attitudes, being stood up is and was rude, but it was (and probably still is) accepted and common in acting 20 year olds.
Because unless the person you’re interacting with is related to you or lives with you, they’re too busy to listen if they don’t have to. That’s part of the busy culture air.
Souls aren’t looking for deep conversations about the soul, ha!
What’s your dark knight of the soul? as the person walks away and I’m standing by myself.
…I laugh because those are my favorite types of conversations now. 😊
And gradually as I became more interested in personal growth (and grew less busy), I saw being busy from the lens of being an excuse.
That’s what happens when you fill up breathing in living an authentic life and prioritizing inner peace (that’s now occupying your inner space).
…Compare that to wanting to just come out unscathed from this life living on the surface, like during my lowest seasons where I also dreamed of external-only happy desires.
Digging myself out of this way, I carved out big chunks of the day to be free, silent and listening to my thoughts, immersed in relaxing hobbies, writing, reading, writing some more, and just being at-peace, happy-joyful, and balanced.
No meditation except getting input and ideas from initiated prayer and memories from experiences, books, and others’ useful words.
And I’ll even go out on a limb and say, certain types of meditation as I know it are just another way to be busy… you know after a while of doing if it’s sucking life out of you (not giving back) OR if it’s life-giving and you can’t do without. Amen?
For me, one meditation way that works is getting in the zone of creative free-flow writing.
That I did very little of if at all in my corporate headspace days when I operated at my lowest vibration, but what I was doing looked good on paper and to the people I grew up with and was mostly around.
Gradually in my new slower paced life, I developed personal growth through building up character traits that aligned with the fruit of the spirit if you’re familiar.
Mainly: faith, patience, self-control, and peace.
These are deeper traits I never improved before (and were actually made worse in my former culture that modeled the opposite by outward actions).
And I had to go out of my way to seek those things and let them penetrate.
So then I had a new mark of success as personal growth (over external and corporate role accomplishments that used to be the primary mark).
To help unravel the busy life damage I soaked in, one step I took was I stopped filling up a calendar (that my earlier-hospitality event managing planner lifestyle approved and cozied up with).
I now like the look of a blank white calendar with a few fun stickers.😀
And today a nearly blank calendar is how I clearly see if I should add or skip an event… and then I decide.
And how I decide is based on the principle of GIVE and GET that I think is helpful for you if you want clarity in your life… and especially if you’re stuck.
And in this case use, it’s give OR get.
It goes like this…
If you’re giving something like teaching, encouraging, supporting, helping, mentoring, presenting, volunteering your time or donating money, then you have good reason to take time out of your day to be in that event headspace and with those people. It’s worth considering to put on your calendar.
…OR if you’re getting something out of an event like building connections, learning something new, supporting someone else, or getting yourself into happy moods by being somewhere else, then those are all good reasons to carve out time on your schedule.
But if not primarily going in and doing it for a Giving or Getting reason…
Then you’re allowing your drifting subconscious mind (that often influences and decides 😊)… to be confused and wonder if you need to be at the event… or questioning other people and their behaviors or way of dress, and not focusing on what they’re teaching or saying…
And if we’re judging others or having negative thoughts or feelings about being there, then it’s best to catch that and exit gracefully when you can.
Move on and enjoy the sunshine where you feel good.
Get back your hours and move in the direction of where you want to go.
When you were younger, you couldn’t do that or you would be going against approval of some form.
And now you’re an adult who chooses…
Re-learning and setting new habits around the idea that what is good for others isn’t good for you… and taking action based on that wisdom saves you time and going down rabbit holes.
So when you determine if you’re giving or getting in a situation, that makes it Black-And-White easy to decide if you should add more of that busy to your calendar.
…So it’s clear all around.
But then there are exploratory busy time-taking areas that are Gray.
And these can be good (or GRAY-T) opportunities for growth.
For example, sometimes we sign up for things because our gut told us to and we’re unsure why… yet.
Because of unknown future and unlimited possibilities, you want to keep yourself open and sometimes intentionally busy yourself there to investigate… temporarily making yourself out-of-pocket for routine or something else.
So we go there to this new place to learn… and to check and figure it out.
…And when we’re there, sometimes we discover we’re not yet aligned with the message there… where we’re here and that’s there, but the seeds have been planted (by going to learn).
After the event, we may even think: that was a waste of time.
But it wasn’t because our soul (mind, will, emotions) and wise spirit (wired to the Universe) knew better than us… we just hadn’t caught up and weren’t ready yet.
And one day that boomerangs back to us in alignment when we have clarity and remember the experience and learning.
Leaning in and taking a reflective pause helps you investigate what’s best for your life and gives better discernment as to what to do next.
By choosing to NOT take action always, you gain clarity in the step back that’s also action.
And if you miss a specific space, place, or people you visited before to learn and meet with, then that could be a reason to go back to invite in more of those event occasions again.
You’ll know soon enough if you read your tea leaves right or if it was a false return to open you up for something new and different that’s your next pursuit… and not just a busy one.
That’s how we’re wired to do this life and figure out what’s BEST for us in the moment.
And using the GIVE or GET simple decision trick helps that.
Staying productive for a life of success is a balancing dance act of giving, getting, and enjoying.
It puts us at the higher energy level to bring in bigger and better, and less busy filler things… and higher leads to your fulfilling calling, purposes, and destiny. 🧡
