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Category: Mindfulness

Calm Mind Best Way Ever

Calm mind is an aspiration often when you’re served up stressful situations in life… from work, family, or friendships that you balance in your life wheel.

A sign that this is not your practice life and life is not a dress rehearsal are good reminders to live a calm mind life as the secret to health and happiness.
Reminder: you get one life to live well 😊

The sooner you practice a calm mind and mindset, create boundaries, and step higher than your face-value situations…

…The better your life and work-life balance.

For the ONE life you get.

And during stressful testing times, the best way to calm your mind is to give the mind a way out.

This article is about how to calm your mind.

Because first off… you are not your mind, but the mind is in you.

Separating yourself as the choice and decision maker (that your mind is not) is your way out… and away from stress and toward your calm, peace, and happiness.

They are opposite directions where you get to choose which way you go. ⬅️➡️

You can take subtle, enjoyable baby steps toward the better direction choice using calm mind apps and daily music therapy 🎶 that will help turn the tide.

Those are the Ayurvedic ways I love. 🧡

But they subtly work in the background, so you won’t necessarily know they worked because they gradually turn the tide from the inside-out into the right direction (mind-body calm and peace).

Using your sense of sight, smell, hearing, and touch are all part of the prescription… and they are Ayurvedic comforting and add joy to your daily life. So why not?

…Gotta love that!

And when you have a loud interfering monkey mind 🙉 that swarms in worry or high ego-drama unrest in your mind, feeling good again is the goal.

To break out of those clouded mind moments or seasons, you would need to shout back at your untouchable and unseen ego that’s your then-invisible enemy in play that’s blocking truth, love, and peace.

At the root, your ego’s job is to protect you in survival situations… to get you to act and react to save your life if a tiger is chasing you.

But in modern daily life, it’s a detriment as ego goes overboard in its protective role!

Shutting off your ego (that shows up as pride) is the answer in most modern stressful situations.

It’s never your fault that your ego acts up due to situational triggers.

…But it is completely up to you how you want it to play out. And if healthy and happy is your goal, then the following tips will help support this…

Lowering ego is the restoring way back to your happiness and inner love-peace.

But not so easy is shutting off others… and actually impossible to do!

So you need to manage those situations.

Because misery is an option that adds zero daily benefits.

I know this well through many trials and situations…

I grew up and lived most my life in the DC metro area where egos fly high in close proximity to America’s politically charged circles where heads butt.

And that permeates in the local air and work environments close by outside of politics.

Pride in ego runs high and causes riffs anywhere in the world.

The problem is: everyone thinks it’s normal.

So it has been normalized. And even congratulated by people (through their egos) in the wins that are sometimes harmful.

This “normal” way trickles down into how we day-to-day operate and our relationships at work, and with family and friends.

But you can rise higher for a better calm mind AND life…

In your daily circles, when you have conflicts and tough situations that you may often grin and bear, do a healthy action that frees your mind from the ego bondage…

To escape from the trappings of you ego,  look for an out that will settle your mind.

This is especially useful and needed for your happiness if you are being treated unfairly or feeling displeasure from other people’s ways.

Take the mind-out of the situation by creating options.

And when you have options, your ego mind is no longer a prisoner.

It’s set free and so are you! 🎉

Example: your under-stress boss demands undesired actions from you creating a miserable work environment for you. While you may do the tasks begrudgingly to keep your job (that’s important to keep a roof over your head), in your free time, lunch break, or evenings, start proactively looking for other jobs.

This will subtly show your ego-mind that you have options (and are not trapped) and then you will feel better about your life and situation.

You are free from your ego’s captivity.

And you may even find the job of your dreams in the process!

Another example: your spouse or partner has been taking things out on you or bringing their negative emotional energy that has caused arguments between the two of you. Let the other person work out their unrest issues themselves. Start spending more time with your productive activities and friendships.

Because you can’t control or change other adult’s behaviors and actions.

That’s the bottomline.

Changing people is not the answer.

Provide the information they need, but it’s up to them to come up with their conclusions as it is for you to come up with yours and your peace of mind.

 That’s the peacemaking way that will add years to your calm mind life…

And that protects your mind from the ugly ego (yours and theirs) rearing its ugly head in your situations… where anger, resentment, or taking out on other areas grow.

You’re likely served up these type of situations from most people in the world, and specifically those who aren’t as evolved… and letting their ego invisibly and cunningly play them.

In those times, the high ego person may even commonly accuse you of what they are actually going through if you’re in their regular or daily path.

BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE AREN’T AWARE OF THEIR EGO. AND IF THEY ARE, THEY ARE BEING PLAYED IN THEIR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, UNTIL THEY STEP OUT.

As someone who considers herself evolved 🙋🏻‍♀️… for me, it still takes a while to step out of ego’s loud ways and see what’s going on.

And I completely remember the days when I had no clue I was being played.

But information is power!

Breaking out of old mindsets is a worthy fight for a calm mind and inner peace.

And the more practice, the easier it gets…

It sounds ridiculous (and to the ego that effort needs to be made), but my dear friend… the daily effort is the path to happiness.

Effort is the way out of stressful situations with people who walk around not knowing their ego (enemy) is playing them.

And all of us who are doing modern life have experienced people’s ego rearing their ugly heads.

You don’t have to turn far to find examples.

And if you’re in those situations now, don’t play the ego game served up.

Most importantly, don’t further enable bad behavior.

Train the ego person with your boundaries:

Love the person, but hate their behavior.

Be calm and kind, but firm.

Don’t let others manipulate you because they are persistent (e.g. kids can be the worst ego maniacs because they know no better).

It will only get worse if you say yes… to both ego adults or kids.

Stand your ground no matter how you feel in the moment… or the fear you feel creeping up in your that the ego is drumming up.

Rise higher to the opposite that’s love (that the Universe is full of).

Stand your ground with tough love that may feel harsh, but you and the ego-other will be grateful later.

Don’t let your ego block and blind you from seeing the harm that’s so common.

I can see ego-action from a mile away now (informed), and as you learn more you will be able to too! 😊

Ego is the danger for most people where they can’t see what’s going on in their mind and play-by-play actions in them or others’ egos.

Ego-blinding in you or others happen if you don’t consistently pay attention no matter how busy you are… 🙈

Use loss of sleep, appetite, gray hairs, sudden pimples, and body aches for no physical reason as more obvious signs something undesirable is happening to you! 

A.K.A ego situations are near.

To catch all this, slow down, be aware and sensitized, and witness what’s happening…

Use your deep breathing present moments to slow down to see clearer and insight into what’s going on.

This is where time on your yoga mat or quiet chair help so you’re more sensitive of your symptoms that are more easy to spot.

Think of it as a diagnoses session where you get your calm mind peace and years back!

Because your body and loving, peaceful mind don’t lie (like the ego does in your busy moments).

And you can use this revealing body balance quiz to help you see what’s going on with your body and mind-body today from your body symptoms POV.

It’s like seeing the printed words on your car side mirror: objects are closer than they appear.

Or the nearby signs.

But in daily myopia and ego-blindness, we don’t see the signs.

When we become aware and get close-sight clarity, then you can see what’s happening in your stressful situations.

You can effectively calm your mind… AND use those stressful situations to make positive impact in your life.

AND OH, this is the best part of stress that makes it healthy good and worthwhile!…

If you’ve already spent or wasted hours or days on a stressful situation that robbed you of joy and peace, you might as well turn your victimhood into something useful in life (and help others going through similar situations).

…like I’m intently doing here in this article I wrote. 😊

I learned at one of my early-on jobs that you teach others how to treat you in life. I use that as a guiding mantra.

And you can too, to set healthy boundaries with others to get your calm mind, peace, happiness, and time back.

You’ve probably heard before that kids need… and LIKE boundaries.

They actually like ’em. And as grown up kids, adults do too!

So embrace that counterintuitive way in your daily situations.

That’s how you’ll get your calm life you aspire to.

And remember, tough love is a good thing for everyone. 🎉

Mindfulness From Healthy Relationships (Love Is Blind Lessons )

Mindfulness brings in happiness because in the present head space, you have the chance to let it go and bring in light.

As a visual, walking down this art deco outlined carpet can be the amount of time needed for loving mindfulness. 

You have the now space to make the better choice.

You can count 1-Mississippi as a mind gap or mind the gap that is popular from the London tube words.

It’s as simple and complicated as that.

In the mindfulness space, you get to choose your positive or negative thoughts and responses despite your initial thoughts.

Thoughts are better negotiated if you want your best outcomes.

Plus, practicing being mindful is an opportunity to grow.

And as an easy test, you’re in the now if you understand these words.

Whether you’re here or not 😁, good mindfulness lessons (especially for love relationships) can be learned from an entertaining reality relationship show like Love Is Blind. 📺 👩‍❤️‍👨

Have you seen the worldly Netflix series? 🌎

The premise of the show is that you can fall in love on a blind date (potential partner unseen) behind the pod walls.

The goal: to find your person and get married at the end.

But the healthy spiritual growth way to look at it is that you come out a better person no matter what happens. Because not all relationships are meant to turn into marriage as a sign of success.

…You can come out with new friends of both sexes, learn more about yourself, and grow up in the process. 🎉

The latest season was in the DC metro backdrop where I spent most of my years… and is always in the news especially these days.

…And not for mindfulness reasons.

In the LIB love reality show microcosm, you see the raw moments that aren’t edited.

Where blindspots are made transparent…

And it’s easier to learn from others watching on the sidelines.

When tested in our own relationship situations… that’s where the rubber meets the road. 🏎️ 🛣️

But more knowledge leads to better self-awareness, and these are some gleaning points that can help you…

In Love Is Blind DC, the couples embark on the engagement journey that ranges from loving couple selfie-video filming to fiery heated disagreements. 🔥

...Ugh, that’s how the show can be renamed “Ego Is Blind.”

And in those difficult moments, we see what’s going on behind-the-scenes…

A beautiful budding relationship unravels and goes reality life awry.

Not the couples’ faults… learning about ego devise is something that takes time to learn (if caught on and learned).

Egos (not eagles 🦅) invisibly soar and hover over us and are more magnified in relationships. 🔎

💡 And that’s the main issue in every relationship issue.

…Did you catch that?

The masks are unveiled, gloves come off, and differences are an ego mind playground to create more divide.

Since the LIB participants are 20 and early 30-something young adults, they don’t have the same experiences they’ll have in 10 or more added years as  mature adults. That’s just a fact of life.

You trade in youth for wisdom if you’re on the growth track. 📈

And in the episodes we can see that they don’t know what they don’t know that lessons-learned experiences could provide. We’re all in that boat for one area or another.

In relationships, couple happiness comes from letting go of the petty stuff. And that’s where mindfulness can be the handy solution.

Being tired or moody any day can derail from that mission, so staying alert and wise to know yourself enough can help your conversations and situations you get roped in.

They help in my situations.

A simple “can we talk about this another time?” is sometimes all that’s needed.

…And if the other person can calm their momentary crushed ego and say, “sounds good” and stick to that, then there’s no issue.

And that way, you make the issue smaller to ego as you stay objective and get further away from emotions.

Let your pot simmer down inside you first.

Because situations will arise. Everyone is different. Another fact of life. So embrace the differences, even if it’s your close partner.

…Just remember they grew up different than you even if they grew up down the street. They are them and only YOU are you. 🪞

You’re the only one you can change and are fully accountable for.

Show up mature as you can be. And if both are mature, then saying yes! at the altar has a better chance (despite what it seems like or is said weeks before that… which btw, the ego mind will chomp at).

Every moment has potential for ideas to collide even with the person you think you know best or as well as yourself.

One day, what seemed perfect is no longer.

Expect that to happen.

When that happens…

Talk it out.

Have fun again.

Tyler and Ashley do this well taking sky diving and sharing moments. 🪂

Garrett and Taylor do this well laughing, playful, and enjoying each other’s company.

Those loving honeymoon period ways get them through their tough times.

Those are the couples that make it through LIB married at the Reunion.

That’s the relationship experience they signed up (and hoped for)… a life partnership that’s enhanced with two.

When they ran into a disagreeing situation, they let upset emotions out which is communication. They also moved on in their own mindfulness moments.

Maybe smartly asking themselves in the break: “why was I really so upset?”

…Usually it’s from an experience or idea from the past that was traumatic and is now pulled into the gray matter.

The secret is knowing that most of it is curable in self-discovery that improves relationships, and not about changing someone else.

And in tough relationship times, we can learn 3 lessons:

Lesson #1: Wisdom teaches us to move peacefully in the moment.

The most mismatched couple in LIB DC was Nick and Hannah. They had a parent-child relationship that was obvious wouldn’t end well.

Usually there’s a honeymoon period but for this couple, it was obvious from the start who would wear the pants.

Words deeply matter. Saying aloud things like: I’m not the same person I was who had fun before…” is nothing short of putting a dog’s tail between its legs. But that’s common ego power trying to dominate in language.

Nick could have addressed that comment, walked away, and let Hannah think about her words. But since he kept taking it to the end of their relationship, it just got worse.

And so it turned into passive-aggressive behavior.

A lesson in mindfulness: at the late group mini-reunion, she could’ve sat down with Nick and her best friend in the pod at the table rather than let her jealous emotions creep up later and address privately.

Wisdom say you never get a second chance with the moment.

Mindfulness thinking: you may never have another chance with this person again so embrace the moment (as in “in the moment”). 

That situation could have been avoided if she acted on her deeper feelings at the moment in a peaceful way.

That’s how mindfulness practice could have helped.

Practicing mindfulness on a yoga mat or away from social situations (alone) when things are good, can allow breathe-in space to be brought into awareness in impromptu situations. 🧘🏻‍♀️🧘

Lesson #2: Be the giving person. Two giving people are better than one.

Never go into a relationship seeking gain for your life, and expect it to end well. The other person wants to be loved and that’s the agenda.

The couple that became a hot mess was Tim and Alex. Their perceptions of each other were completely off. Another ego power trick.

They had miscommunication and unrealistic expectations.

There are no mind readers as Alex pointed out and especially with unspoken expectations.

There’s not one right way with two people involved, but there’s usually a point in the right direction.

In the moment, a person can directly tell the other partner their needs. Both will feel better about it no matter what it is.

…It’s how it is said that’s most important.

When you say “I feel…” it’s totally different than ego judgment words like “you always…” Those 2-words are the difference between love and ego. 🥰❤️‍🔥

Practicing using more loving words helps direct the mind to those ways. Let the other person be themselves and not come up with a list of “all I want you to do is…” Leave that legacy to their mother that can get away with that agenda impact.

Lesson #3: Respect should never be a word tossed around in love relationship communication.

When the other mentioned they felt disrespected, that was a bad sign.  The “respect” word doesn’t belong in relationships.

Respect is a word you use in an office place that’s an arm’s distance business-to-business arrangement.

Respect is usually earned from deed or time. Co-workers know when they are respected because work boundary lines aren’t crossed. It’s nothing personal.

In love relationships, it’s all personal.

In a loving relationship, you don’t want to earn love or your place to the other. That’s inferiority vs superiority (ego power).

Your loving partner wants a soft place to fall, not a daily enemy they face. Those common feelings happen when out-of-alignment or out of happy mindfulness.

Besides, respect means different things to each person mostly based on upbringing. As a couple, if you grew up on opposites sides of the grass, then respect definitions are wildly different based on their grass past life experiences that can’t be defined in one 7-letter word.

But bringing in more self-awareness, mindfulness, self-discovery helps to turns things around and bring more peace to lives and relationships.

Remember changing your words said can change your relationship.

Do unto others as they would like to be treated, keep growing, and doing your best. Good luck! 💘

Frog Pose Life Metaphors In Wet or Dry Transitions

Frog pose is an inspired pool yoga pose, and maybe one you’re inspired to do because it’s hot outside… or reminded about an aqua blue Olympic size pool… or pool blue and frog green strokes…

Blue and green painting strokes are meaning and metaphors for life.
Strokes on a painting

Where the frog stroke is one you can do in the cool pool water without exerting much energy (unlike the crawl or breast strokes). 🏊🏻‍♀️

But in frog pose strokes you are getting exercise like in water polo  that look effortless on the water surface, but OH MY! is a workout.

…I remember when I was younger, I was invited to play water polo for fun and was wondering why the net wasn’t on the shallow end.

Then I quickly learned that half the sport is done under the water, keeping the body afloat while trying to score points… it’s not a leisure sport.🏐

You need your team athletic mojo and active frog legs.

And if you want to keep it easy on yourself and score yoga points today… you can do the active solo frog pose on dry land on your mat.

It’s one you could have discovered in a Hatha yoga class along with the classic frog yoga pose where your legs and arms are laying on the mat in traditional frog layout.

It’s also one pose that resembles the name and you won’t mistaken for another identity. 🐸

We all know what a frog looks like.

As amphibians, like us primates, frogs have a backbone.

Amphibians in human form would look more like Spider Man ♥️💙climbing up a building. 🕸️

But frogs have been around way longer than modern super heroes.

They were named creatures that plagued our nations back in Biblical times.

And as part of our sustainable environment, frogs help to clean up  our food chain. Frogs eat pesky insects so we can stay anti-annoyed, helping us keep our Pitta cool and calm. 😌

And in gratitude, doing a yoga frog pose helps you get a good stretch up your mid-back.

Most of us can use a good daily reminder to take care of our backs that will long-term take care of us.

You’ll know if you need a dose more of healthy back stretching if you feel tension in the pose.

You can easily start off in a Downward Dog or a Dolphin pose.

Then lift arms or keep arms lifted off the floor, so that palms are flat on the floor. Check your fingers. Usually one or a few are not flat unbeknownst to you. 😉

…Sometimes we don’t know what our body parts (like our right or left hand) are doing, but when we use our eyes 👀 they’re off doing their own thing.

🌟 That’s a metaphor for aligning ourselves in our mind and body that are part of us.

Next bend your knees slightly and let the soles of your feet lift off the mat so only the toes and palms of hands are on the mat.

Your knees are bent and can be as high as somewhere between your palm and elbow height, to whatever feels good to you… because yoga is about feeling good in the stretch!

When you’re in that proper swimming frog pose form, move your bent knees in toward each other and then swim or move them out away from each other (without lifting your planted palms and toes off the mat). Do that a few times.

That’s active or swimming frog pose.

You can do this anywhere without getting wet… or breaking a sweat!

🌟Transitioning from wet to dry is a metaphor for changing seasons of life. And specifically, your leap changing seasons.

We go from summer to fall, even if the weather hasn’t changed, so we can feel off because of our internal Ayurvedic balance signals… where our bodies are feeling one way and our minds are in another place.

But often we roll with the punches and move along, adjusting as needed. Sometimes that’s what we need for our healthy growth and sometimes that can drain us and cause stress.

Most of us know what it’s like to go from relaxing seasons where nothing is happening… to EVERYTHING is happening all at once, like starting a new dynamic job or going full-throttle back to school. 🤹

…Once it starts, it’s a whirlwind until the end of the season.

The art of living in balance as I know it, is going in and out of these two opposing seasons with ease and peace.

…I remember the days in my over 2-decade long corporate work when I wished that I could take summer holiday vacation time off, and when event planning was counting down the days until the winter holiday event season ended. You may have a similar grind.

And when those work seasons ended, I got all my time back. It was all or nothing with no balance in between.

Work life balance was what you made it… and 40 hours a week was the best there was in that world. But your head was still spinning full of the busy go-go-go work theme, even on the night and weekends with an emphasis on work busy.

While in those corporate work seasons, I couldn’t see that start-and-stop seasons were good and helpful.

I was looking for a type of work-life-balance that didn’t exist. 🤔

But over time and wisdom gained, I could see that Life was actually doing me a favor…

Work heavy one season and life focus in another season IS Life balance.

When looking back, there’s a blend of both that’s all the past…

Both slow and fast paced seasons are useful and where growth is.

In the slow season, you can get clear headspace, catch your breath, and catch up on needed sleep. 💤

You recharge and reflect back to find what breakthroughs you’ve made on your journey and experiences.

And slow seasons are where you discover what growth you’ve made, lessons learned, and want to keep growing and pivoting.

And the hard charging, fast seasons with busy schedules is where you’re productive, gaining skills, and experiences that’ll be useful for the next leg of your future journey or next transitions.

💡Transitions are simply next steps… and nothing more or less.

Looking back.. I still remember picking out a first-day-of-school outfit. Funny because no one remembers what you wore and even the outfit you wore on school photo day that’s captured on camera.

…None of that ends up mattering as you get further away in time, even though at that time it feels like the most important thing in the world (in mindfulness).

And for my breakthrough, it was these accumulated small nostalgic memories and feelings that served as metaphors for this day and moment as fleeting… here today, gone tomorrow.

So don’t worry about what happens so much… and try not to worry at all (as worry is a time suck, and it sucks as a past time, yes?)❗️

Replace worry with trusting the future using your past as proof that all things do pass. And replace worry for bold living.

You can wisely pause and ask yourself: what did I do boldly today? Remember that old adage: life is not a dress rehearsal.

Life is about today, so no need to be crushed if your plans don’t work out because they will be the past soon enough.

You’ll transition into the next step that turns into your better step.

I know this in my life because most (…and maybe 99%) of my half-baked plans never panned out the way I thought or hoped.

…And I’m thankful for that.

🧡…Because that taught me that the hidden gem is in the process of what you’re doing and who you’re growing into that’ll create your life of meaning and purpose.

Meaning and purpose is the dream that’s not easy to describe or manifest quickly, but are the highest worth pursuits… and you’ll know inside when you’re on the right track.

Because you’ll feel good inside for starters.

And that’s all that’s needed to keep you balanced and growing… and that’s how life is healthy productive, happy, and meaningful.

It’s usually not the life you thought you wanted in your 30s, because everything changes and wanes in excitement, and the biggest change is: you change.

So frog leap forward in your day and life (with frog pose as a metaphor)

Make your today transition steps about:

…making myself better than yesterday

…improving older habits

…keeping healthy patterns even with schedule changes

…loving myself

…finding joy

…making new healthy supportive friends

…And staying true to what I know I can do and be. And trusting what I’m doing, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it (among the endless number of other options I could be doing).

Maybe that’s where you are.

And if so, while you’re there, keep going and growing with where you’re at.

In my daily wheelhouse where I’m at, an anti-inflammatory healthy food list is a helpful must and maybe for you too in your busy growing season. 😎

Mind the Gap For Happiness Today

Mind the gap as a metaphor helps us in our lives.

It started out as a carved out message reminder in the London Underground waiting platform to pay attention to the gap getting on the train.

London "Look" message painted on the pavement are like "mind the gap" messages in the Underground.
A London Look painted message is helpful for some who stop to look. 🛑

And all around London you find painted “Look” signs 👀 and messages that can be helpful or at least interesting to look at.

For a brief moment then, we look down at our feet so we don’t misstep.

Most of us have seen these type of signs… or have had the experience of riding a bus, subway, or metro train where for a gap moment we were mindful seeing or not seeing a sign.

The mind the gap written sign is a metaphor for our unscripted happy lives…  putting mindful focus on what’s actually in front of us, and putting emphasis on the love and productive sides of our lives.

Mind the gap metaphors are opportunities for more awareness in our lives (and what they’re becoming).

…Because if we’re living in daily awareness knowing what we’re doing, observing what’s happening around us and how we react, then we’re less likely to slip into the gap in our conscious lives.

The gap could be fear, darkness, or what we don’t want.

In our unconscious sleeping lives or altered state of consciousness in meditation, we intentionally look for falling into the gap calm and silencing the mind moments, so we experience better health and stress calming benefits.

It’s our awake subconscious mind that often adds complication to our lives as we’re moving and taking action, but only partial conscious of what we’re thinking.

To bypass our awake subconscious from derailing our happy outcomes and thoughts, we can ask revealing questions to ourselves:

Are we inconsistent?

Is what we say different than what we actually do in certain areas (because rarely is it all the time)? Or are we projecting onto others when we’re the ones that are going through the projected experience?

Is there a misalignment in our life?

Do we feel disconnected in some way?

Do we lack purpose and meaning and a reason to wake up on time?

These are all opportunities to make internal life shifts that will change our outer habits and happiness to bring more on!

We can look around for signs to get more in tune with our mind, will, and emotion alignment that is our entire soul being.

We can also check in with our our external influenced-internal deeper desires coming from our spirit, Universe, and higher source greater than ourselves.

Our spirit in us never dies as our essence being.

And our thoughts come from higher sources other than our current, past, and future dream thoughts.

We get clues and hints from those around us on our planet and what’s happening to us in our daily lives.

But hints are usually subtle and missed… they’re in the daily miracles and we witness them if we better mind the gap.

I can’t tell you the number of times a day I have a random thought that pops up, and in awareness I notice the external noise in my life repeats the same message or exact words seconds later.

This could come from a television screen, audio on my device, or something I read.

Those aren’t coincidences without meaning.

I use those daily miracle opportunities to mind the gap for a moment to reconnect with my spiritual self and tune out culture.

That helps to connect us to our deeper, higher, and loving selves that block out the fear and unrest sides.

Zooming out, our loving lives are not happenstance and chaos. There’s a productive plan and order. And we’re not alone. Ever.

If we navigate toward our love, then we don’t have to go down dark side trails that lead to rabbit holes that then lead us back to light.

Observe thoughts…

There’s no better way to empower our happiness than changing our thoughts to the better ones we want. It’s also the quickest way to our happiness if we know how to exercise this higher power we possess.

We start by observing or witnessing our thoughts as though we’re an objective third-party to our thoughts.

We’re our own mentor and coach.

This is on top of all the other roles we carry out in our day. So we’re juggling life in the real world and the greater Universe.

And it pays in reward with growth, better life clarity, and alignment.

Then, we can separate ourselves from our negative thoughts holding us back… and non-serving beliefs we could’ve picked up while growing up or along our journey.

To serve us better, we may want to pause and look into those and do shadow work to better understand ourselves while the idea is fresh in mind and so we don’t have to back track.

Then, we can start to take the old beliefs that shaped us and transform them in our happy and evolving better lives when we mind the gap.

A gap question example to ask ourselves:

Do we dislike something in our daily life that we wish were different?

We have better control of our outcome when we mind the gap.

Real Life Example: Why is there a window in our bathroom that we have to clean and make sure that it’s covered so no one peeks in?

Instead we re-write the thought and think: thank you window for being there to give us natural light.

The more daily examples we can flip to the positive, the more we bring light and happiness into our life.

Are we living in joy?

Our subconscious minds, the side that agitates problems, get nourished by feeling bad or pity, so we can end up doing the unhealthy things.

But when we’re lifted up and feeling good, we do the healthy things. And we enjoy more too.

So it’s a double win to find more joy.

That comes about from shutting down bad thoughts in awareness. We’ve saved ourselves wasted time and energy.

Joy is internal and in our control and can be experienced in this moment.

If we find in our free time we’re thinking, I wish I had more time to enjoy… then we’ve missed it because we can focus on enjoying now.

Now is what we have to enjoy.

The glass half or almost full pulls us out of our own misery (that’s our choice).

Doing what it takes to get ourselves to enjoy and feel good again is a healthy priority and can be our goal so we look forward to the rest of our day where we get more than one.

Using our 5 body senses is a good, easy way that we like:

…Maybe we read a good book, watch a feel-good movie, listen to happy music, or do a healthy activity to get there. But we purposefully get there. 👉👈

Then we’re able to forget about time and unproductive thoughts in our happy distraction.

Maybe we do that in quiet moments or in yoga to re-center.

And maybe we go to bed early to start a new day that changes our mood. Or we enjoy a no-butter guiltless snack bite like this honey-glazed matcha lemon coconut cookie.

Honey glazed matcha cream lemon coconut cookie bites.

Those healthy moves turn the tide moment by moment to bounce us back to our productive, happy self.

Then our happy outlook follows and improves, and that helps us to grow our lives, healthy ambitions, and selves.

And we also look forward to creating new ways where we look up and out to make us feel good and accomplished.

New way examples include:

-learn a new skill

-contribute to a new group

-volunteer

-develop our better daily habits

-write out our good intentions for the week/year to come

-strive to become the best we can be or a better person

And in our growth, we can pause to check-in and see where we stand in our pride snapshot that can get in the way of our happy, productive lives at any time even if we’re well on our way.

It’s part of the subconscious mind and ego that never shuts down as long as we’re breathing.

Are we free of pride and selfishness?

We know by the relationships we have with others and ourselves whether it’s going well deep down in us.

We feel good or we get a pit in our stomach when a name or thought arises.

People serve as reflections to our lives. At any time we can mess up with them by not trying or being considerate and doing the best we can.

And more easily we can tell if we’ve created barriers over better communication that may be all we need to provide in better thought re-writes in us.

Pride can show up as many flavors… like this mixed bowl of homemade soft ice cream with avocado ice cream.

Bowl of homemade avocado ice cream with mango and chocolate.

Pride can show up in some situations, and not others. It’s gray to us unless we make it black and white.

But, when we’re observant of ourselves and our lives, we authentically know if we’ve crossed our lines.

We can also ask ourselves these revealing questions:

Do we always have to be right?

Do we feel superior in certain areas or do we gladly welcome in new ideas and continually willing to learn?

Do we feel we’re entitled to certain things?

Do we dishonor people’s time by showing up when or if we show up?

Do we assume what others think or would say before they’ve spoken? Do we jump to conclusions?

Those are all signs that we have layers of unhealthy pride running our show that are hurting us and our relationships.

One improvement way is if we approach our relationships as though we’re a team.

There’s no “I” in team and that helps with our pride checks.

When we do our part independently, and consider interdependence on the team, then we’re on a balanced, healthy track that builds more healthy pride.

We want to do more for ourselves and others.

If we’re willing to compromise, make adjustments, and re-route while letting go of the outcomes, those help us bypass problems and allow in our happy lives.

Letting go of what’s not working is a good mind the gap example.

We gain more clarity and our lives get easier. We don’t get in our own way.

Staying clear keeps us aligned to our best life in our choosing. 🎉

Slow Pace Life For Faster Growth and Balance

Slow pace life and living sounds like a snail boring description in this marathon journey we call Life. But actually the way to discover more of what you want in this life is found in those slower and often overemphasized silent sloooww moments where you can gather your thoughts in mindfulness.

baked alaska slice
This is enjoying a slow pace life where you can make your healthy-ish low-sugar cake and eat it too!… like this delightful Baked Alaska. Recipe below 🍰

On the flipside, if you get in the habit of being busy, you’ll find slow life seasons as mundane in comparison.

And that gives your ego the opportunity to make the difference a negative, when it’s actually a positive. For one, you lower stress that you can’t measure and that can add years to your life.

When you embrace slow seasons and dig deeper, you can find the joy of missing out of activities and discover more of you.

I know when I was younger I felt like all eyes were on me when the truth is people are concerned with their own lives. They’re not thinking of us as much as our naturally entering thoughts want us to think.

So focusing on ourselves gives us our healthy back. And at the end of the day and our lives, we’re the only ones we are guaranteed to be with.

Saying no to what’s not good for you is good. Only you as an evolved being know how to live your life wisely.

…Sometimes this can take seasons to embrace.

And when you go through the motions of enough busy seasons, you realize there’s an end to each season. The buildup can end up in letdown. And looking back, you gain wisdom and lessons learned that are invaluable for your future.

Summed of wisdom can follow with: it’s not about what you do in your day-to-day that matters most as today becomes a fast and fading memory tomorrow. You never re-live yesterday.

This type of discernment often comes later with years and experience so you don’t waste more time on things that don’t matter. Back in my earlier years like most my age, I measured achievements against the culture I grew up around that didn’t last.

An example: I started out going to public schools in the U.S. county where at the time I was growing up had the highest ranking standardized test scores in the nation… like the SATs taken in high school.

Living outside Washington DC that’s full of movers and shakers didn’t make slowing down a goal. The idea was to speed up and always be busy no matter what.

When you're younger, you can embrace the slow pace life where you don't get to impact the world with your gifts and talents until you're older and ready. Growing up in a DC area home is where it began for me.

Photo: This is the remodeled open skylit space in the house that I grew up in where my desk sat decades ago and I learned to type on an ancient typewriter in the 80s. And then picked up writing daily years later. 

I gradually shook off the “busy” mentality to get to where I am today where being busy on purpose matters most.

And the Universe helped me by removing obstacles that at the time seemed like a mean joke. Because starting over seemed like a recurring theme. But being in those rough seasons and trying to gain traction, I grew. And I made other accomplishments that weren’t on my list.

Lessons Learned

I realized life well-lived isn’t meant to be a linear path, going up and up. It’s more like up and out, and sometimes back down. And navigating adversity and new starts help you with now what? situations.

Being a late bloomer can actually help you. If you didn’t peak too quickly (or having peaked yet!), you didn’t miss or haven’t missed out!

Your experiences in between build you up to what you need for your dreams to turn out to be a dream come true (and not a letdown).

In your time, you’ll appreciate when you are fully spiritually ready to embrace what is meant to be yours! 🎉 Remember the turtle in the slow pace life marathon wins the race. 🐢

A turtle cookie is a sweet slow pace life mascot.

When I entered my new start in college, it was eye-opening as that was the first time I realized students came from totally different background circumstances.

Before then, I took high school courses and learned things prior that other people who came from other places in the U.S. had never experienced and that was shocking to me at the time.

I needed those eye openers to embrace moving down south, a slow pace life more on my terms.

There, I was immediately struck with how politics didn’t suffocate the air. And I was able to appreciate a slower pace life.

With new environment and time, I realized that this life is more than what our resumes and awards say about us.

A calmer, slow pace life has other benefits too like you actually are mindful of what you’re doing or watching in the moment. That brings joy.

The moment is not a blur like outfit changes to the next activity that’ll come and go and you may not have fully enjoyed because your headspace was busy preoccupied.

These are a few ways to embrace the slow pace life and wisdom sooner when you’re in the busy seasons:

Slow cook your foods. I’ve had microwaves in and out of my life. And when I had one, I always used the equipment.

But when I didn’t have one, I realized I would pause to think about things in life (mindfulness) when I was watching over food heating or slow cooking.

In slow cooking life, I sometimes daydreamed about complex dishes like those when I worked in hotel catering or restaurant event planning.

Or happy fond food memories in gastronomic experiences I had. I spent vacationing weeks in Italy where the slow food movement grew and developed into American organic and sustainable cooking culture because of restaurants like Chez Panisse.

It’s fun to immerse yourself into other worlds like this that you’re not in. It’s a different type of mindfulness.

Then when brought back to actually cooking, that brought me back to simpler cooking times which is the way I appreciate foods for their whole and individual tastes.

Then voila! dinner is ready and you had a ‘lil escape… so meal prep is actually enjoyable. 😉

Slow down habits become a balanced and joyful lifestyle. And that can start from nostalgia or daydreaming that can be part of your healthy life like meditation.

Those type of things slow you down and sometimes you can resurface a dream.

A habit of slow living or slowing down can be changed with or without a simple piece of kitchen equipment. 😊

Take a moment to take deep breaths. We can never be over-reminded. We have nothing if we don’t have our daily breath. It gives us space. And if you ever feel heart palpitations, this is a way to calm those down:

Listen to your inner voice and what’s it telling you. When we have nagging thoughts, they usually mean something needs to be addressed for our peace. In those times, it’s better to get out of our head voices and listen to the higher channels.

Take time for yourself away from people. We act differently when we’re around people and social environments than by ourselves. We take on their energy and want to naturally blend in with ours. But it’s hard to find your authentic self in those head spaces when trying to please others.

It’s good to take some solo time out that’ll speed up your personal growth. That’s when you can reflect on what matters in your life, so you don’t end up with regrets.

And preparing today for tomorrow is the secret to getting the life you want.

Taste your tea when you first put your lips on your mug. Enjoy the aroma. Using Ayurveda methods, smelling a scent or spice first, is a good way to see if it’s pleasant. What’s pleasant to your eyes doesn’t mean it’s favorable to your body.

Then when you come back another time, you may feel something different for the same experience. Our bodies are constantly changing and sending us signals. When you’re aware and sensitized to your own senses, you can better influence how your day goes.

So next time, give your food a good acknowledging stir before you take a bite.

Do mindful eating or intuitive eating. In intuitive eating, it’s all about slowing down and mindfulness. And when you do that, you pick up different notes and palates. You become more open to different tastes.

Take a few bites and imagine the food source. Where does the food come from before the grocery store? Someone if not you from your garden sourced the food. For plant-based foods, those come from the land and were picked by someone.

Many food travel shows teach us about regional food sources and how certain cultures prepare dishes that can make us slow down and appreciate.

Get rid of check list to-do items that never needed to be completed. Lists are great for groceries but for life direction, not so much. You end up zipping through the list.

The goal (of lists) is to get to the end. And in slow down, we want to experience and enjoy the middle.

With lists you can also end up working on things that were never important to begin with. Those slow down your progress.

If you have a slow pace life, you remember what’s important in the moment as your miracle memory (or spirit) prompts you.

And finally, take time to look at old photos or read journals you wrote.

Try to remember who you were back then. You want to see a new and improved you and not one that has aging appearance effects. You’re aging in wisdom beauty and a better life.

That’s something to celebrate today. 🎉

I love looking at old photos and thinking what I didn’t know back then! And now I have so many more great experience memories.

We all wish we could go back in time for some nostalgic reasons, but we can also be glad we don’t have to go back to those testing seasons.

In today’s heated seasons, you can easily make your own soft serve ice cream. And can add to a celebrated cake to enjoy a slice of life today. 🎂

Slow pace life waiting for Baked Alaska to freeze.

Print Recipe

baked alaska slice
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Baked Alaska (Oven Toasting Method)

Baked Alaska is my favorite cake hands down and you can make your own cake, meringue and ice cream. I heard about the dessert working in catering and waited until I was ready to have the best cake slice of my life at DC's DBGB restaurant in 2015.
Course desserts
Cuisine American
Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Equipment

  • bowl to fit the ice cream shape
  • cake stand or plate

Ingredients

  • meringue shell
  • ice cream of choice
  • cake of choice

Instructions

  • You can make or prepare ice cream and meringue a day ahead or a few hours in advance.
  • Bake cake. Let cake cool and then add cold ice cream layer and then meringue layer.
  • Freeze at least 2 hours in the back of the freezer (but without icicles forming)
  • Lower top oven shelf low enough to cover the height of the Baked Alaska plus a minimum of 6 inches from top of oven to broil.
  • Pull Baked Alaska out of freezer and into oven. Broil for several minutes until there's a toasted top. Do not turn or move the cake (optional) in the hot oven without turning OFF the oven first and then wait for broil oven cool down before closing oven door and turning oven/broil setting back on (optional). Watch broiling carefully for safety reasons and so you don't over toast the cake. This method won't be as even as using a handheld baking-friendly torch, but the top will be toasted pretty!