Mindfulness Archives - Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Awareness Is a Happiness Solution

Awareness is the tool that helps you everywhere in life. No matter where you are. Even looking out at a serene landscape that you appreciate…

Being aware is not just knowing and feeling your surroundings. It’s being present in the moment.

Sometimes the moment is not where you want to be… like the thoughts are sad or you’re not in the mood to do what you’re doing.

There are those times when your present moment is not a good feeling. If you’re hiking, maybe you’re hungry, hot/cold, tired, etc.

And those are all real feelings you have.

That’s very different than the mindfulness you’ve heard where there’s no pain in the present moment current thoughts… only in the past thoughts and in the uncertain future.

And what you do with your initial feelings or thoughs in the present moment, like distracting or focusing on a rare bird that flew by, replacing sour thoughts with better thoughts, or greeting others can change things for you.

The micro step you take to turn your thoughts into positive ones and loving thoughts change the direction of your day.

Like, you think if you finish this task, then you reward yourself… or by doing this, you’re one step closer to a goal. Or letting go of a bad situation you were just in.

Thought and mindset resetting is how you can use your mindfulness and awareness as a successful weapon. It’s simple but not always easy.

Running in the opposite direction is the easiest maneuver as it takes little extra thought, and as a clear better direction.

That could be as easy as switching tasks.

Since we were young, we learned that if we ever saw danger, naturally run in the other direction.

And after you practice with negative thoughts, this too can become an automatic prompting.

Where you snap out of your thought… and that makes you more aware.

That also trains you to observe your thoughts and let go of the ones that don’t help you.

Even though they seem to be nourishing as your thoughts.

Focus on other dominant thoughts.

Look in another direction.

And in your thoughts, think in another direction.

Thoughts are to the mind as visuals are to the eyes.

You observe your surroundings with your eyes and you can observe your thoughts with your mind with practice.

Some people have a photographic memory or they see in numbers or words that scan across their minds.

But most of us can’t see our thoughts.

But imagine you could.

And observe your thoughts in a pause.

Gather how you feel about them for another brief moment.

And decide what you want to do with them… keep or run in the opposite direction.

Either way, self-awareness lets you decide.

Self-awareness is like seeing yourself in the mirror.

And without a mirror, if you imagine yourself and what you look like to your surroundings, then that’s also self-awareness.

That’s the type of awareness that is most useful in this life, so you can better react and respond to situations where others are involved.

And present awareness can help you survive. Like knowing you’re here and something is out there. Or you’re both here at this same place.

And present awareness can help you thrive…

When you focus on, are intentional, and spend more time mindful on an area, you get a deeper awareness.

And that can develop into new ideas and your next step in life.

That’s why it’s smart to spend time in silence with your thoughts so you can become deeper aware about your life.

This is known as a form of meditating.

There is a meditation form where people usually have their eyes closed with the goal to rest from thoughts.

And then there’s the kind to gain insights. That’s the type I do with my eyes open.

Either way, life is in meditation when you pause from the usual thinking daily activities.

I meditate when I’m doing something in the kitchen with my hands or when I’m looking out and up into the sky or a room (like in Tree yoga pose).

For me, meditation is gathering new ideas and thoughts. It’s about downloading insight from the outside realm.

It’s not a ritual escape or a way to de-stress, although it usually happens when my mind is relaxed.

Because it’s hard to focus or meditate if your ego is involved, or you’re feeling anxious or angry about something.

Rarely do new insights come in that way.

As I believe there is a plan for each of us that we can choose to follow and find the optimal meaningful life designed for us, or choose our own path that’s usually more aligned with our culture.

And I found that this life is a choice of finding deeper purpose or discovering without deeper meaning.

And you know which camp you’ve been living.

Deep awareness seekers are usually seeking purpose.

We want to connect-all-the-dots in our lives.

Because we don’t want to misstep and go down unnecessary rabbit trails unless we know they’re for us to go through for a good reason.

At some point, we connect good reason with more meaning to this life than meets the eye.

…What we thought life would be when we were first getting off the ground is not what where we end up.

And then tuned into this awareness, we can get back to finding our core purpose and our destiny.

This takes time. But as we grow, we realize that some things in life like a first or second job is not as serious as we once thought…

Back there.

And now we’re here..

Back there got us to here.

But it was temporary.

And if we’re not happy at our current job or life season that we’re living out, we can remind ourselves (during those tough situations), to hang in there.

This too shall pass.

As we’ve seen in our past.

And if we’re golden happy where we are, we can relish and enjoy the moments to the fullest.

Because soon enough things will change in the future.

So enjoy the present.

In our happiness, we’re making happy memories as we speak.

And if you can find a way to look at and embrace getting up in the morning as your happiest moment… and then finishing the hard parts of your day as a reason to then celebrate, then I think you will know what living full is.

And you can carry that to your next life assignments.

How I like to celebrate in my world is appreciating framed colorful confetti cards that say “Happy Birthday” or similar in various languages.

In awareness, those colorful cards are everywhere when you look around in grocery and convenience stores.

That’s how I can happily change my day.

It’s a momentary reminder that every day is a celebration. 🥳

And maybe that’s an idea for you or someone in your life…

That everyday is another celebration day to add to your birth day.

Muse to Create (and Self-Doubt Less)

Muse is a word that I find amusing. I’ll tell you why… it’s about a person, but one that you can’t see. So it’s imaginary, but I know it’s not from my life experiences where a muse is real.

Muse is a person and this mermaid statue is not real and not imaginary either. — This unreal muse is the most photographed woman in the world. 🧜‍♀️

The muse I believe is love and unlike humans (including ourselves), doesn’t act outside of love.

Because it comes from a perfect place …not Earth, that’s imperfect.

And while I have my version, I’m a magnet to hear how others describe and see a muse in their lives…

Especially writers who often talk about an inspirational muse in the room when they’re writing. Some even call them angels, elves, and intelligence like Author Steven Pressfield.

And Stephen King who’s also gifted at providing imagery through words where he describes a muse as “he’s a basement type of guy.”

…Maybe you have to be named Steve to get this gifting? 😊

Kidding aside, I learned who my real muse is in my quiet time.

When I was by myself and happen to be writing, having someone in the quiet space I was working in who helped and inspired me… and well, is not such a bad thing.

…So I wholeheartedly agree that a divine and inspiring muse sits with any of us when we get quiet enough… and is invited in to join the party.

This becomes meaningful inspiration when creating something.

Early on when I started blogging, I had a divine intervention that let me know who my muse is in a deeper (life changing) way.

It was a parallel season where inspiration aligned with the divine intervention.

And so my perspectives are based on that very real life experience that played out.

And back then, my muse was a voice inside me that whispered.

…But not faintly in the air like a passing thought. The muse was clearly audible to me as though outside of me but was inside my thoughts.

And this occurred all day and night until I fell asleep for weeks.

…Strange, I know.

But so is life, yes??

…If you think about it.

…Everything is a miracle.

Just look in the mirror at the person staring back with body parts intact or look out at nature busy at work day and night.

And the longer you’re here on the planet, the more you get to see the patterns in your life that make sense out of the organized chaos happening around you.

You can gain and use those wisdoms to a better life than the one you started with.

Connecting dots, you realize that there are odd circumstances that are unique to your life and smartly see how they help you. Some are coincidences that beat the odds.

…And this is to help you get to your purposes and destiny.

It’s meant to be discovered.

On our own, we could easily mess up what could and should be ours. I know I would.

The luck, coincidences, and supernatural happenings we experience are unexplainable, but meant to help you see or do something special with it.

…Like finding your muse and living out your life purpose.

And if you’re not there yet, don’t worry it’ll come if you’re looking.

Try to connect-the-dots often and it can happen sooner.

Sit quietly.

Get curious and try connecting-even-more-dots… that have the answers.

And so you can benefit from intelligence insight downloaded to you (from external) that isn’t just what most think of as our brain’s intelligence.

From my divine inspiration experience, I believe (and I know) there are life forces beyond us helping orchestrate and co-create our lives in the background that were here long before we were.

We have the opportunity to live a 4-d life (manifesting abundantly and creating beyond us) if we let go of what doesn’t serve us, so we can tap into what does.

The good forces are a helping hand that are happy to co-create with us.

We get divine inspiration (inside of us). Then when we take action, we’re acting in co-creation.

But then there’s also the bad forces influencing us from the inside. It’s dangerous because it’s invisible to us (like the good forces).

But the bad forces are doing damage and louder in our minds if we allow like the Blind Ego you may have heard about living in our subconscious.

So I like to think of the good forces more like a higher soaring Eagle. It’s Eagle vs. ego.

When you purposefully make the eagle visible daily, then that’s when things get good in your life. 🦅

And you get all of this if you believe in and study Creation (like I do).

If everyone got intent enough to grow this spiritual type of self-awareness in them as a personal life mission, the world would be a Better Place.

Because each person would be better.

Individuals would be aware of what they put out that’s not just their work outputs, outward acts, and appearances.

People would emit less chaos from the get-go, bypassing going through costly trial-and-error lessons learned that others feel.

And following life’s organized ways that we didn’t come up with, they would be the best version of themselves.

And if this is befuddling to you… have you ever met a person who has different sides that when you ask others what they think of this person, it’s a completely different story than what you know?

…Almost like a good and dark person side. And sometimes that’s hidden from others until it’s too late. They leave a wake in the ocean.

That’s the type of chaos I’m talking about… but that awareness can help prevent.

The chaos comes from the ego and fear in people showing up.

“The ego” is almost like another person if it grows.

Young adults on their own are super susceptible as they’re far from seeing yet and are able to make their own decisions.

And if it weren’t for the good forces, I honestly don’t know if I would still be here from all the dumb moves I did early on.

But for those of us here, our egos can get stroked and that can quickly become a tangled mess.

…Like a heated debate or a myriad mess of twisted passive-aggressive moves.

But the mess can be bypassed if both sides are keenly aware and choose peace and kindness (as the best demonstrated behaviors).

Love and kindness is still the answer.

That shows up as humility.

And inviting in our muse to daily living helps us to calm down from the chaos around and in us.

Chaos happens between people (unaware) or shows up as self-sabotage (Impostor) thoughts.

In co-creation with the good forces (like our muse), we can bypass chaos.

Because it has never been all up to us.

That’s liberating to know (for me, anyway 😊).

And when I wrote my book Empowered Happiness, I titled my first chapter “Love Yourself First” because I believe when you do that, then love overflows out of you (and you’re running toward the right direction).

And that leads to using more of your higher purposes and superpower gifts.

Inviting in Your Muse For Co-Creation

If you’re aware (…or maybe now informed) of how your muse and these mysterious ways work in your favor, you can then become intent to grow more of this.

Inviting in your higher muse can be the bridge.

It takes external and internal attempts.

When you intentionally (and internally) ask the Universe to help you find your muse, expect to hear back at some point.

When and what you get back externally is not up to you or anyone.

But what you do with the information you get, is up to you.

Sometimes we’re given the same information over and over again, and we miss connecting-the-dots… maybe we’re busy, we half-believe, or we allow our dark side (or self-sabotage) to take over.

That sends mixed messages.

So then you’re not ready yet to get what’s being sent.

But if you practice managing thoughts and moods, you get better at this.

Because managing thoughts is a golden key to unlocking your best life. 🔑

It’s a skill that we’re not taught growing up… but the sooner learned, the better our life outcomes are!

Because at any moment, chaos can kick back in.

And you can kick it out.

Practicing regular and daily interference is the answer… walking away from those non-serving thoughts (and lies!) that drag you down.

Re-writing the mind’s script is not meant to be a secret, but it is a life mystery.

And can stay hidden.

To improve this: focus on a positive attitude, consciously show authentic love to others (and to self) because that’s what the Universe here before us wants and still rewards.

Your muse will help guide you to your calling purpose in this life.

Where you do have creativity!

If you can dream, you can wildly create. And discover hidden talents. I know this because I’m living proof.

And in your gifts and talents, you’ll get pointed to inspiration where none existed before.

Just remember to seek out your muse to co-create.

Or write yourself a daily reminder.

And those ways are still easier than creating something you don’t have inspiration for… yet.

Fika Happy Break Today

Fika is a concept in Sweden for a coffee break. And that in America has gotten smaller as coffee is all-day brewing.

This was a cappuccino Fika moment ☕️ I enjoyed in Gothenburg, Sweden.

Fika has grown to mean so much more about life.

Especially post-2020.

Those humbling, bittersweet years wherever you were on the planet grew you no matter what age you were.

We can now all look back…

To then when you got more you-experiences discovering more about yourself with change of routines… and as you interrupted your usual patterns.

And in more recent years, you found your groove back and learned tips for healthy balanced living.

You and I can appreciate what we have better, today.

You can now live the 80/20 real life vs. digital world that we dreamed of and no longer in Zoom fatigue settlement.

But those growing years gave us new insight. You don’t wanna lose all the good you developed from 2020.

And you can lean into a couple Fika points reminders:

-still slow down and make time to take a daily break (you can use you won’t get this day back as a self-reminder). Slowing down allows for new ideas to break through from the space break opportunity you carve out.

-appreciate daily simple joys and small happy pleasures (…maybe sweets 🍥?), healthy snacks and beverages.

Ok, one more…

– maintain some quiet time that can include reading, journaling, yoga, meditation, or enjoying sitting still with a cup of coffee and your soul. And if you dare, listen to your spirit.

This gets us away from love and into the noisy gong and clanging cymbal of the world that’s full of fear.

Silence is where you can hear the love whispers that’s inside each of us.

And then breaking out of silence or Fika moments, you want to immerse yourself in life to appreciate life.

You may have remembered not too long ago when an employee usually older than you said they were going on a coffee break and then disappeared.

That idea disappeared…

And so did the idea of driving out of your way to find a pot of coffee in America. It was helpful not to be a coffee drinker as you’d be in a diner or a 7-11. Coffee was more a morning ritual only.

These days coffee counters are everywhere in any metro suburban area, so people have re-appeared and coffee culture is running all day.

…Sometimes we even spend all day at a coffee shop balancing real life and our devices that we’re on. The digital nomad is not a new concept and finding fika is a way of living.

Years before I took on this lifestyle, I was getting inspired sitting and people watching where some of the famous writers like Ernest Hemingway and Jean-Paul Satre sat in a famous cafe.

That was doing fika compared to people hovering over a coffee machine that has replaced the office water cooler.

These days in America, everyone is armed with their own water-filled water bottles.

And then back at home…

Making coffee is a Fika opportunity to slow down and feel joy breaks.

Since modern research shows coffee as anti-inflammatory, it’s aligned with mind-body connection happy and healthy… that’s naturally in the coffee caffeine.

Coffee caffeine is especially a healthy energy alternative to caffeinated sodas that have too much unhealthy sugar.

But I think it’s good to get the sugar hype out of the system when you’re younger when your body isn’t so critical about what you consume…

Sodas was my breakfast starting out journey… that was later replaced with morning coffee and writing that aligned hand-in-hand with blogging. 📝

…And I’m sure you have your own beverage journey that aligned with your growing ways.

My daily routine is cold brew as less harsh/lower acidity and less bitter if that matters to you and your body. Cold brew vs. iced coffee are not the same thing.

It takes about as much effort to make a. cup of cold brew (as using a coffee machine), so maybe that’s something to consider. 💭

You can easily learn how to make a perfect cold brew coffee you’ll enjoy!… that’s even your younger inner child could have made years ago (but maybe stayed away from bitter). 😀

…Or maybe that could have been a similar story line in your green tea journey where you didn’t start off liking the bitter leaves.

…and now can tolerate (or prefer with your 180 degree changes as you change… or since your tea was better prepared in the lower 180 degree water temp 😀).

Which btw if tea is your jam, a tea break or afternoon tea is another Fika way to slow down. It’s not all about coffee anymore.

And maybe it’s plain water or healthy water drinks or you’re looking for new inspo for a few anti-inflammatory, healthy dry January drink, or tea ideas.

These can all be part of the Fika in the afternoon.

In America, we call this an afternoon snack break where America is home of the snacks. 🇺🇸 You can go into any size grocery store and see aisles full.

And you can healthy challenge yourself to make home healthy snacks to also slow down and relax.

Relaxed, you get to change your rhythm and feel the happy effects that lead to an overall productive day or Part 2 of your day.

Some light sweet or savory snacks for your Fika could be all you need to keep going in the right direction for your day:

Some ideas: try a one-bowl low-sugar chocolate chip oatmeal cookie that’ll do the sweet satiating trick over cravings. Or a healthier cinnamon roll or a buckwheat ginger snap cookie. Buckwheat is gluten-free, btw.

And maybe Fika tea party?… with the best way to make chai that you can pair with no-bake chai balls. Leave the cooking and baking for another time.

You can add Swedish-inspired savory Fika smorgas (open faced sandwiches).

You can make a healthy microgreen einkorn sandwich bread platter version mixing the growing microgreen culture (that I barely remember grew outta the alfalfa sprouts craze 🌱).

In catering, we called these finger sandwiches on a platter that always were a hit. The crusts were cut off.

And for similar effects, you can also leave the sandwiches open (smorgas) for less bread ratio.

Smorgas is different than a smorgasboard. That means sandwich table.

…Which wich is not just one sandwich!

Smorgasbord today as we know is a buffet (table) in American culture.

That’s the more-is-more approach.

With Fika, you can master the art of enjoyment that leads to contentment, and appreciate less-is-more with a light and balanced table.

Blend this with coffee culture and tea blends, and you have a daily reason to celebrate… and be grateful for the simple things that happened (and the bad ones that didn’t).

And simply appreciate this moment. ⏳

Calm Mind Best Way Ever

Calm mind is an aspiration often when you’re served up stressful situations in life… from work, family, or friendships that you balance in your life wheel.

A sign that this is not your practice life and life is not a dress rehearsal are good reminders to live a calm mind life as the secret to health and happiness. — Reminder: you get one life to live well 😊

The sooner you practice a calm mind and mindset, create boundaries, and step higher than your face-value situations…

…The better your life and work-life balance.

For the ONE life you get.

And during stressful testing times, the best way to calm your mind is to give the mind a way out.

This article is about how to calm your mind.

Because first off… you are not your mind, but the mind is in you.

Separating yourself as the choice and decision maker (that your mind is not) is your way out… and away from stress and toward your calm, peace, and happiness.

They are opposite directions where you get to choose which way you go. ⬅️➡️

You can take subtle, enjoyable baby steps toward the better direction choice using calm mind apps and daily music therapy 🎶 that will help turn the tide.

Those are the Ayurvedic ways I love. 🧡

But they subtly work in the background, so you won’t necessarily know they worked because they gradually turn the tide from the inside-out into the right direction (mind-body calm and peace).

Using your sense of sight, smell, hearing, and touch are all part of the prescription… and they are Ayurvedic comforting and add joy to your daily life. So why not?

…Gotta love that!

And when you have a loud interfering monkey mind 🙉 that swarms in worry or high ego-drama unrest in your mind, feeling good again is the goal.

To break out of those clouded mind moments or seasons, you would need to shout back at your untouchable and unseen ego that’s your then-invisible enemy in play that’s blocking truth, love, and peace.

At the root, your ego’s job is to protect you in survival situations… to get you to act and react to save your life if a tiger is chasing you.

But in modern daily life, it’s a detriment as ego goes overboard in its protective role!

Shutting off your ego (that shows up as pride) is the answer in most modern stressful situations.

It’s never your fault that your ego acts up due to situational triggers.

…But it is completely up to you how you want it to play out. And if healthy and happy is your goal, then the following tips will help support this…

Lowering ego is the restoring way back to your happiness and inner love-peace.

But not so easy is shutting off others… and actually impossible to do!

So you need to manage those situations.

Because misery is an option that adds zero daily benefits.

I know this well through many trials and situations…

I grew up and lived most my life in the DC metro area where egos fly high in close proximity to America’s politically charged circles where heads butt.

And that permeates in the local air and work environments close by outside of politics.

Pride in ego runs high and causes riffs anywhere in the world.

The problem is: everyone thinks it’s normal.

So it has been normalized. And even congratulated by people (through their egos) in the wins that are sometimes harmful.

This “normal” way trickles down into how we day-to-day operate and our relationships at work, and with family and friends.

But you can rise higher for a better calm mind AND life…

In your daily circles, when you have conflicts and tough situations that you may often grin and bear, do a healthy action that frees your mind from the ego bondage…

To escape from the trappings of you ego, look for an out that will settle your mind.

This is especially useful and needed for your happiness if you are being treated unfairly or feeling displeasure from other people’s ways.

Take the mind-out of the situation by creating options.

And when you have options, your ego mind is no longer a prisoner.

It’s set free and so are you! 🎉

Example: your under-stress boss demands undesired actions from you creating a miserable work environment for you. While you may do the tasks begrudgingly to keep your job (that’s important to keep a roof over your head), in your free time, lunch break, or evenings, start proactively looking for other jobs.

This will subtly show your ego-mind that you have options (and are not trapped) and then you will feel better about your life and situation.

You are free from your ego’s captivity.

And you may even find the job of your dreams in the process!

Another example: your spouse or partner has been taking things out on you or bringing their negative emotional energy that has caused arguments between the two of you. Let the other person work out their unrest issues themselves. Start spending more time with your productive activities and friendships.

Because you can’t control or change other adult’s behaviors and actions.

That’s the bottomline.

Changing people is not the answer.

Provide the information they need, but it’s up to them to come up with their conclusions as it is for you to come up with yours and your peace of mind.

That’s the peacemaking way that will add years to your calm mind life…

And that protects your mind from the ugly ego (yours and theirs) rearing its ugly head in your situations… where anger, resentment, or taking out on other areas grow.

You’re likely served up these type of situations from most people in the world, and specifically those who aren’t as evolved… and letting their ego invisibly and cunningly play them.

In those times, the high ego person may even commonly accuse you of what they are actually going through if you’re in their regular or daily path.

BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE AREN’T AWARE OF THEIR EGO. AND IF THEY ARE, THEY ARE BEING PLAYED IN THEIR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, UNTIL THEY STEP OUT.

As someone who considers herself evolved 🙋🏻‍♀️… for me, it still takes a while to step out of ego’s loud ways and see what’s going on.

And I completely remember the days when I had no clue I was being played.

But information is power!

Breaking out of old mindsets is a worthy fight for a calm mind and inner peace.

And the more practice, the easier it gets…

It sounds ridiculous (and to the ego that effort needs to be made), but my dear friend… the daily effort is the path to happiness.

Effort is the way out of stressful situations with people who walk around not knowing their ego (enemy) is playing them.

And all of us who are doing modern life have experienced people’s ego rearing their ugly heads.

You don’t have to turn far to find examples.

And if you’re in those situations now, don’t play the ego game served up.

Most importantly, don’t further enable bad behavior.

Train the ego person with your boundaries:

Love the person, but hate their behavior.

Be calm and kind, but firm.

Don’t let others manipulate you because they are persistent (e.g. kids can be the worst ego maniacs because they know no better).

It will only get worse if you say yes… to both ego adults or kids.

Stand your ground no matter how you feel in the moment… or the fear you feel creeping up in your that the ego is drumming up.

Rise higher to the opposite that’s love (that the Universe is full of).

Stand your ground with tough love that may feel harsh, but you and the ego-other will be grateful later.

Don’t let your ego block and blind you from seeing the harm that’s so common.

I can see ego-action from a mile away now (informed), and as you learn more you will be able to too! 😊

Ego is the danger for most people where they can’t see what’s going on in their mind and play-by-play actions in them or others’ egos.

Ego-blinding in you or others happen if you don’t consistently pay attention no matter how busy you are… 🙈

Use loss of sleep, appetite, gray hairs, sudden pimples, and body aches for no physical reason as more obvious signs something undesirable is happening to you!

A.K.A ego situations are near.

To catch all this, slow down, be aware and sensitized, and witness what’s happening…

Use your deep breathing present moments to slow down to see clearer and insight into what’s going on.

This is where time on your yoga mat or quiet chair help so you’re more sensitive of your symptoms that are more easy to spot.

Think of it as a diagnoses session where you get your calm mind peace and years back!

Because your body and loving, peaceful mind don’t lie (like the ego does in your busy moments).

And you can use this revealing body balance quiz to help you see what’s going on with your body and mind-body today from your body symptoms POV.

It’s like seeing the printed words on your car side mirror: objects are closer than they appear.

Or the nearby signs.

But in daily myopia and ego-blindness, we don’t see the signs.

When we become aware and get close-sight clarity, then you can see what’s happening in your stressful situations.

You can effectively calm your mind… AND use those stressful situations to make positive impact in your life.

AND OH, this is the best part of stress that makes it healthy good and worthwhile!…

If you’ve already spent or wasted hours or days on a stressful situation that robbed you of joy and peace, you might as well turn your victimhood into something useful in life (and help others going through similar situations).

…like I’m intently doing here in this article I wrote. 😊

I learned at one of my early-on jobs that you teach others how to treat you in life. I use that as a guiding mantra.

And you can too, to set healthy boundaries with others to get your calm mind, peace, happiness, and time back.

You’ve probably heard before that kids need… and LIKE boundaries.

They actually like ’em. And as grown up kids, adults do too!

So embrace that counterintuitive way in your daily situations.

That’s how you’ll get your calm life you aspire to.

And remember, tough love is a good thing for everyone. 🎉

Mindfulness From Healthy Relationships (Love Is Blind Lessons )

Mindfulness brings in happiness because in the present head space, you have the chance to let it go and bring in light.

As a visual, walking down this art deco outlined carpet can be the amount of time needed for loving mindfulness.

You have the now space to make the better choice.

You can count 1-Mississippi as a mind gap or mind the gap that is popular from the London tube words.

It’s as simple and complicated as that.

In the mindfulness space, you get to choose your positive or negative thoughts and responses despite your initial thoughts.

Thoughts are better negotiated if you want your best outcomes.

Plus, practicing being mindful is an opportunity to grow.

And as an easy test, you’re in the now if you understand these words.

Whether you’re here or not 😁, good mindfulness lessons (especially for love relationships) can be learned from an entertaining reality relationship show like Love Is Blind. 📺 👩‍❤️‍👨

Have you seen the worldly Netflix series? 🌎

The premise of the show is that you can fall in love on a blind date (potential partner unseen) behind the pod walls.

The goal: to find your person and get married at the end.

But the healthy spiritual growth way to look at it is that you come out a better person no matter what happens. Because not all relationships are meant to turn into marriage as a sign of success.

…You can come out with new friends of both sexes, learn more about yourself, and grow up in the process. 🎉

The latest season was in the DC metro backdrop where I spent most of my years… and is always in the news especially these days.

…And not for mindfulness reasons.

In the LIB love reality show microcosm, you see the raw moments that aren’t edited.

Where blindspots are made transparent…

And it’s easier to learn from others watching on the sidelines.

When tested in our own relationship situations… that’s where the rubber meets the road. 🏎️ 🛣️

But more knowledge leads to better self-awareness, and these are some gleaning points that can help you…

In Love Is Blind DC, the couples embark on the engagement journey that ranges from loving couple selfie-video filming to fiery heated disagreements. 🔥

...Ugh, that’s how the show can be renamed “Ego Is Blind.”

And in those difficult moments, we see what’s going on behind-the-scenes…

A beautiful budding relationship unravels and goes reality life awry.

Not the couples’ faults… learning about ego devise is something that takes time to learn (if caught on and learned).

Egos (not eagles 🦅) invisibly soar and hover over us and are more magnified in relationships. 🔎

💡 And that’s the main issue in every relationship issue.

…Did you catch that?

The masks are unveiled, gloves come off, and differences are an ego mind playground to create more divide.

Since the LIB participants are 20 and early 30-something young adults, they don’t have the same experiences they’ll have in 10 or more added years as mature adults. That’s just a fact of life.

You trade in youth for wisdom if you’re on the growth track. 📈

And in the episodes we can see that they don’t know what they don’t know that lessons-learned experiences could provide. We’re all in that boat for one area or another.

In relationships, couple happiness comes from letting go of the petty stuff. And that’s where mindfulness can be the handy solution.

Being tired or moody any day can derail from that mission, so staying alert and wise to know yourself enough can help your conversations and situations you get roped in.

They help in my situations.

A simple “can we talk about this another time?” is sometimes all that’s needed.

…And if the other person can calm their momentary crushed ego and say, “sounds good” and stick to that, then there’s no issue.

And that way, you make the issue smaller to ego as you stay objective and get further away from emotions.

Let your pot simmer down inside you first.

Because situations will arise. Everyone is different. Another fact of life. So embrace the differences, even if it’s your close partner.

…Just remember they grew up different than you even if they grew up down the street. They are them and only YOU are you. 🪞

You’re the only one you can change and are fully accountable for.

Show up mature as you can be. And if both are mature, then saying yes! at the altar has a better chance (despite what it seems like or is said weeks before that… which btw, the ego mind will chomp at).

Every moment has potential for ideas to collide even with the person you think you know best or as well as yourself.

One day, what seemed perfect is no longer.

Expect that to happen.

When that happens…

Talk it out.

Have fun again.

Tyler and Ashley do this well taking sky diving and sharing moments. 🪂

Garrett and Taylor do this well laughing, playful, and enjoying each other’s company.

Those loving honeymoon period ways get them through their tough times.

Those are the couples that make it through LIB married at the Reunion.

That’s the relationship experience they signed up (and hoped for)… a life partnership that’s enhanced with two.

When they ran into a disagreeing situation, they let upset emotions out which is communication. They also moved on in their own mindfulness moments.

Maybe smartly asking themselves in the break: “why was I really so upset?”

…Usually it’s from an experience or idea from the past that was traumatic and is now pulled into the gray matter.

The secret is knowing that most of it is curable in self-discovery that improves relationships, and not about changing someone else.

And in tough relationship times, we can learn 3 lessons:

Lesson #1: Wisdom teaches us to move peacefully in the moment.

The most mismatched couple in LIB DC was Nick and Hannah. They had a parent-child relationship that was obvious wouldn’t end well.

Usually there’s a honeymoon period but for this couple, it was obvious from the start who would wear the pants.

Words deeply matter. Saying aloud things like: I’m not the same person I was who had fun before…” is nothing short of putting a dog’s tail between its legs. But that’s common ego power trying to dominate in language.

Nick could have addressed that comment, walked away, and let Hannah think about her words. But since he kept taking it to the end of their relationship, it just got worse.

And so it turned into passive-aggressive behavior.

A lesson in mindfulness: at the late group mini-reunion, she could’ve sat down with Nick and her best friend in the pod at the table rather than let her jealous emotions creep up later and address privately.

Wisdom say you never get a second chance with the moment.

Mindfulness thinking: you may never have another chance with this person again so embrace the moment (as in “in the moment”).

That situation could have been avoided if she acted on her deeper feelings at the moment in a peaceful way.

That’s how mindfulness practice could have helped.

Practicing mindfulness on a yoga mat or away from social situations (alone) when things are good, can allow breathe-in space to be brought into awareness in impromptu situations. 🧘🏻‍♀️🧘

Lesson #2: Be the giving person. Two giving people are better than one.

Never go into a relationship seeking gain for your life, and expect it to end well. The other person wants to be loved and that’s the agenda.

The couple that became a hot mess was Tim and Alex. Their perceptions of each other were completely off. Another ego power trick.

They had miscommunication and unrealistic expectations.

There are no mind readers as Alex pointed out and especially with unspoken expectations.

There’s not one right way with two people involved, but there’s usually a point in the right direction.

In the moment, a person can directly tell the other partner their needs. Both will feel better about it no matter what it is.

…It’s how it is said that’s most important.

When you say “I feel…” it’s totally different than ego judgment words like “you always…” Those 2-words are the difference between love and ego. 🥰❤️‍🔥

Practicing using more loving words helps direct the mind to those ways. Let the other person be themselves and not come up with a list of “all I want you to do is…” Leave that legacy to their mother that can get away with that agenda impact.

Lesson #3: Respect should never be a word tossed around in love relationship communication.

When the other mentioned they felt disrespected, that was a bad sign. The “respect” word doesn’t belong in relationships.

Respect is a word you use in an office place that’s an arm’s distance business-to-business arrangement.

Respect is usually earned from deed or time. Co-workers know when they are respected because work boundary lines aren’t crossed. It’s nothing personal.

In love relationships, it’s all personal.

In a loving relationship, you don’t want to earn love or your place to the other. That’s inferiority vs superiority (ego power).

Your loving partner wants a soft place to fall, not a daily enemy they face. Those common feelings happen when out-of-alignment or out of happy mindfulness.

Besides, respect means different things to each person mostly based on upbringing. As a couple, if you grew up on opposites sides of the grass, then respect definitions are wildly different based on their grass past life experiences that can’t be defined in one 7-letter word.

But bringing in more self-awareness, mindfulness, self-discovery helps to turns things around and bring more peace to lives and relationships.

Remember changing your words said can change your relationship.

Do unto others as they would like to be treated, keep growing, and doing your best. Good luck! 💘