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Category: Joy

3 Ways For a Calm Happy Thanksgiving

In the past decade, I have spent 3 separate Thanksgiving holidays abroad or overseas that was everything but a calm Happy Thanksgiving. It was organized chaos in Mexico, Spain, and Morocco.

It’s all relative to each person’s life. For me, the trips were exciting and memorable times, and during more calm days when we traveled around freely. Some refer to as “the easier days.”

Those holidays, I was attending celebrational gatherings and occasions. But despite the freedom and travel adventure, I always felt something missing, being away.

…It’s the similar feeling that you get when you’ve arrived to your destination (place or accomplishments) and now you’re ready to go home or move on to what’s next…

Have you been there?

In those past Thanksgiving occasions, I knew that the something-missing was being in the country that I’m most grateful for, where I live and grew up celebrating Thanksgiving (along with all Americans) on the last Thursday in November. 🦃

Watching the Macy’s Day Parade is a calm Happy Thansgiving event I look forward to…  and, hearing television football games played in the background, catching up with family and friends, getting the special dinner on the table in the afternoon, and forgetting calories to celebrate.

…And remembering that Thanksgiving starts and sets the countdown to Christmas.🎄

Holiday time is also a time when holiday stress can creep in finishing work projects for the year, gift giving decisions, and sometimes compromising decisions on food and travel, and making winter and holiday plans.

…So, especially if that’s you, I wanted to help you to find a calm Happy Thanksgiving to kick-off your BEST holiday season.

I joyfully love to keep my holiday season as calm and simple as possible. And baking at home is one of those ways. That’s how I roll (and some time before this year ends I’ll be baking my first swiss roll and you can be the judge of how it turns out… so stay tuned).

And our staying calm is how I believe we can win in our life’s marathon. You don’t have to look far to find ways to not find R&R in this life. It’s your perception (mindset shift) that can change everything for you. I know this, because it did for me.

You can stay cool as a cucumber even when your situations get complicated and sometimes out of our hands.

You’re your biggest influence if you allow yourself that empowered choice.

We can go after the things that make us happy or feel calm.

One example is the Black Friday and Cyber Monday frenzies (you don’t need a reminder as they’re everywhere). Those are part of our newer culture traditions, but not what make a calm Happy Thanksgiving.

I mentioned I was overseas on three Thanksgiving occasions. One occasion was spent in Seville, Spain.

That year, I noticed they had similar shopping celebrations inside a mall I went into. I realized day after Thanksgiving big shopping sales don’t just happen in America in a shouting from the rooftops or fun confetti gun sorta way 🎉.

My turkey (while not the traditional kind) that year came from an express Carrefour grocery supermarket, and while not stuffed (the turkey or myself 😊), I felt grateful that I was healthy and able to travel before I started a new work chapter in my life.

… I felt I knew what I more deeply wanted in this Life… meaningful things that brought more peace, joy, and love that were missing from the previous season.

…That can sound like a Hallmark card or movie-ish, but that’s what everyone wants no matter what socioeconomic status. That never changes. And even if it’s never declared.

Having nice stuff is great, but getting in a habit of buying can swallow us up if we take the eye off the real joy and riches in this world.

And then those fickle feelings, thoughts, and moods can creep into the day. And we can easily feel dissatisfied at some point when our elated feelings draw to an end and the novelty wears off (…that’s this life).

We can then feel something missing when what we really want is to feel whole (and not missing anything). We want to feel healthy and healed.

So, from that lens, looking for the calm (and not the highs that can lead us to the lows) keeps us joyful, content, and in full gratitude (for our life). And in control of our feelings and lives. Simple to say but not easy to do if the mind muscles haven’t been stretched or we get super busy or proud.

I remember in my past, I would get invited to foodie restaurants where the bill would be similar to say getting the indulgent luxury spa works package.

I never felt guilty, but I never felt any better than if I didn’t go, when I looked back. There was a misalignment.

Deeper inside, I remember feeling I would have preferred to just stay at home and eat a nice bowl of delicious healthy homemade soup instead of getting all dolled-up to go out and splurge on a decadent 4-course dinner.

I didn’t need to feed my ego and outer wants. And my body would’ve thanked me for it too!

calm Happy Thanksgiving homemade yam soup
In case you get tired of pumpkin everything, and over Thanksgiving… here’s a delicious, calming Vata yam soup you can try! 😋

…It took me feeling that I wasn’t missing anything to get to that revelation. Does that make sense?

And maybe since I had worked in and out and behind-the-hotel catering and restaurant hospitality-scenes, my lens was altered and the happy going-out eating Disney-effect just wasn’t the same.

…but I really do think it was more just being misaligned with my purpose. At that time, I was still trying to figure out what category that could be as I used limited gifts and talents (and more management and planning skills) in corporate work.

Today, I know what keeps life calm and joyful (especially as we enter holiday weeks where it’s easy to get off healthy and happy balance)… and, that’s taking care of and growing yourself (mind-body-spirit).

We all have a chance to forge a new path or start a new pivot for the first or nth time in this or the next season. I know what that is like as much as anyone (and probably even more). It can be a little uncomfortable in uncertainty, but with taking risks come rewards.

You could be in a slow season or a fast-paced one that’s passing you. Neither I found were sustainable. They were for a season.

And whatever the case is for you today, it’s better to take charge of your destiny.

…Because you’ve probably noticed in your life, as soon as you get used to a way, then a new one is presented especially these days in our warp speed up and slow down world… and sometime it’s hurry up and wait (that will help you in your adaptability and flexibility… good skills to have!).

If you want to find your next calling or your purpose, one thing you can do is maintain better consistent sleep which I think is one of the telltale signs of your optimal mental health (and of course physical health).

If you have a new purpose to wake up for or purposefully trying to search for one, your mental health improves and that helps your sleep. And getting moving with physical exercise can be one of those easier ways to get this sleep party started (if that needs restoration).

As for finding your life’s purpose, if that’s the crossroad where you are, thinking outside of what’s around you and finding inspiration from those outside your circles (different from you) and the sources you usually would look at, can definitely spark new life and life-giving journeys…

For many seasons, looking back, I found I was thinking way too small at times (not dreaming big) and usually those were clouded thoughts. There wasn’t a sharp gut knowing that I had felt before in other seasons (from dreams or heart whispers). Like those feelings of when you know, you know, and when you don’t, you don’t.

When I got more air and space, I could believe for bigger things, and those ideas became my reality. Not usually right away, but sometimes they did “suddenly” in life’s mysterious and everything-happens-for-a-reason ways.

I consider myself a feet-firmly planted on the ground type of person… and maybe that’s how you operate.

On the ground, these days with all the resources we have available to us, we can go straight to the root, find resources, and decision maker sources, and bypass months of trying to find right answers, and get in the front door. The right ones open for you in your effort and staying calm.

And to help you stay calm, here are 3  simple ways to stay feeling balanced, joyful and in calm waiting (if you are waiting) over the Thanksgiving weekend and maybe (hopefully) beyond… Continue reading “3 Ways For a Calm Happy Thanksgiving”

Tears of Joy and Breathing for Ayurvedic Living

When you get tears of joy (😂), your body is set in joy motion. You feel something and that can get you to move and take good action.

You get to experience freeing moments like you’re on top of the world, and your mind is joyfully elevated. This helps your mental health and outlook. And when your mind is happy, your body feels the connection. That’s Ayurveda in a nutshell.

Well… except it’s not that cut and dry (…I don’t think anything is these days).  I wrote some personal notes below at the end of this post, from over a decade of intentional-balanced and healthy-minded living

I think it’s safe to say, we all have different body goals. One of mine is to stay looking young for as long as nature will let me. I can’t stop gray hairs from coming, but I can avoid the stressful grays that started in my mid-20s.

And our preferences are different, like in music…

For me and maybe for you, that can be in listening to a song that strikes a chord inside, like Adele’s emotional songs or the empowering words from a Lauren Daigle song.

Lyrics matter to me more now than they used to when I’d hum along to anything that had an upbeat vibe. It’s a good idea to be choosier about what we put in our minds (and body) if we want certain results.

And in modern Ayurvedic living, you choose as it’s not rules-based but certain practices work because the body is intuitive.

In other happy moments, seeing someone else happy can leave us smiling. Or when they have tears of joy, we do too.

And in another moment, that could be laughing out loud (does anyone even use LOL anymore…besides me? 😊).

And btw, I get a good laugh in watching The Great British Baking Show. I’ll spare you the witty, but clean jokes swirling in my head. But, that’s what sets it apart from every other baking competition. It’s standup (filmed) comedy or silly, tongue-in-cheek banter… oh, and beautiful bakes too.🍥

And it’s easy to love and relate to all the friendly contestants (and be glad you’re not under the pressure!). Read-dy?…Now Bake.

Just kidding. (I can’t say lol since I just called myself out on it).

But, anyway… in life, you’re usually witnessing your life from and with other people even if it’s through a computer or television. Even if we feel like we live in a bubble, our energy permeates through social media and our connections made. It doesn’t take a plane ride… it takes nanoseconds for our energy and atoms to travel.

And that’s the relational power we have in this life. Along with our connecting breath.

Next time you think about it, pair your tears of joy (or routinely adding daily eye drops) with a special breathing exercise called Pranayama, that’s a controlled way of breathing.

Here’s how you do Pranayama breath. Blow out all your air through your mouth. And then inhale breathe in a big gasp of air through your nose. Hold your breath for about 6-8 seconds. And then let out a big exhale through your mouth as you had started with. You can feel a burst of concentration/clarity in your mind. The mind fog is lifted (even if it’s temporary) and it can feel like you just had a shot of espresso or strong matcha tea.

In doing the breathing exercise, you’ve just relaxed and massaged your body from the diaphragm muscles to your vital nerves that impact your brain, breathing, and the body parts that regulate your stress. Sounds like a big deal… it is.

But we forget. And living in purpose is everything to intentional balanced living.

You get to feel alive! And that may be the that’s-what -I’m talkin’-about prescription you need, especially if you have constant stress in your life. You can try to find areas of life where you can shed tears of joy.

You can practice breathing purposeful daily wherever you are, so remember to do this regularly or when you next feel anxiety or a breather moment.

This can be another purposeful move where you step outside where you spend most of your day. Like when you’re out and see a work of art that moves your heart and stirs your soul. That can be from nature or something that is living and breathing like a baby-making cooing sounds or a dog with a wagging tail you see walking outside.

If you’re cooped up inside and have no errands to run (lucky you!), here are some outside ideas to get out of your nest: Continue reading “Tears of Joy and Breathing for Ayurvedic Living”

Experience Feeling Alive Every Day

Remember how you were feeling alive in your last dreamy vacation where you immersed yourself in a new culture you’ll never forget? Or maybe that was a staycation where you got time away for yourself to relax and do nothing, or just lay by the pool. I can relate to both!

And, I love rooftop views!

Beautiful rooftop view of Bologna, Italy

…When Life couldn’t be any better. Vatas love this Cloud 9 feeling from heightened senses in different places, Pittas love the getting back to productive routine, and Kaphas love their homey comforts and sleeping in their own bed again.

Life is good and one big harmony for everyone when you’re feeling alive and good again! And you can feel this way in all these different ways because you have all these traits in you (in varying degrees).

Wherever you are, take those feeling-alive dreamy vacation feelings with you. I do!

Sprinkle those joyful feelings throughout the rest of the 365 days. Here’s an example of a typical practice I have.

When I first start my workday, I look at a small framed piece of inspiring artwork in front of me (and I can take an inspiring desk calendar with me wherever I go). It puts a peaceful smile on my face. All is well. 🧡

I also keep a changing-up scenery screensaver on my computer. This is super important for a Vata! But if you like to see the same image over and over again, then find a framed image or words that inspire you.

For now, I have a Matisse postcard image in front of me that is just as good as if I took a look at the image in an original museum painting because I choose to see from the lens that I’m not missing anything.

Visuals are oh-so-important and especially so if you don’t have a vivid imagination. Colors play into the mix. That’s why people feel differently when they wear different color pieces of clothing. Do dogs react differently to different colors? You betcha!

I had one that loved the boldness of red (that’s the same color that bulls run to). And so do us, people. Except we’re a bit more refined and complicated with our color palette choices… more on that below.

As A Vata, if you are one like I am, you’re constantly changing things up and inspired to change at least the colors, if not the clothing style or the entire room (and hopefully your spouse or roommate doesn’t mind. Your dog won’t) 😉. Continue reading “Experience Feeling Alive Every Day”

From Burnout to Sabbatical: Recharge and Change Your Life

sabbatical rainbow

Retirement financial guru David Bach is known for “The Latte Factor” on how to save money. Maybe you saw him on Oprah as I did back in the day?

Fast forward years later, he went from burnout to sabbatical living. In hindsight, he now calls a sabbatical “the magic pill” to happiness.

He mentioned in interviews that it all began when his wife asked him what he wanted for one of his birthdays, and he expressed a desire for full-time off from work.

And so that’s just what he did, although he still had to convince himself to get off his busy work train.

Taking time off in a restful sabbatical isn’t a common practice for Americans. There aren’t too many role models to follow. Retirement after 60 and beyond is still the American norm.

Like David Bach, more go-getters in the prime of their career are opening up to this approach to a healthier lifestyle to recharge somewhere in the middle, make life impact changes, and gain clarity about their remaining life’s path.

We all want to live our Best Life, but not all of us do what we need to fully live because we’re not given a road map so we end up playing it safe… staying in the same career or corporate work path with golden handcuffs and benefits, despite being miserable.

Future uncertainty can be uncomfortable to those who want their lives fully planned out, but as I (and you too probably at least in this past year) experienced, life throws monkey wrenches in the mix if you’ve been around long enough, and you can question what this life is really all about.

…and maybe you’ve had those types of questions swirling in your mind lately that you’ve been wrestling with?

If so, you should consider taking a sabbatical if you’re in a place where you can or you all of a sudden, find that you deeply need one to restore your mind-body. It’s not a cop-out, it’s a smart move in case you need to wrestle the idea with the logical side of your mind.

The trend is moving this way. Kids who are just becoming adults are acceptably taking gap years from college. And if you worked in corporate in 2008 with the economy dip, you most likely made a work change, maybe entered a different industry as in 2020 and the aftermath, where we all had our work changed and life turned upside down.

Someone wise ahead of me ingrained this idea that never left me: “Your entire life is a transition.”

So then with that lens, I’m happily entering my fourth act. And depending on your age, you’re probably at least entering or considering your second one (along with almost half the women in the workforce according to survey data).

When I was in college, and it took me 5 years to graduate, that was a big deal in my mind. I questioned why I took a year off after a few semesters of working and attending business school full-time.

During my gap year that wasn’t the usual way, I stopped and learned how to create a business (the reason that you would think you go to business school but most like I did, graduated and entered the corporate workforce).

What I wanted most that I didn’t want to admit to anyone including myself was I wanted deep rest. And that semester off test-taking I got off sleeping aid pills. I got off the hamster wheel and avoided burning out.

Back then, I was already creating a different way of life of taking breaks because my body was calling for it. And now in more aware times, my mind was too.

Similarly, a mid-life sabbatical idea is a pretty darn good idea for recuperating. It can be a lifeline even though it still has a bad wrap. If you’re a well-known author and speaker like David Bach, you can do it because you’ve earned it. But if you’re like most of us or the person trying to make ends meet, then you’re still justifying, like I had to.

I had to lean in and switch into abundant thinking and what I would gain over what I would lose.

And when the call inside you grows louder, the idea can grow more intriguing, and that’s when you know you have to seriously investigate!

You may just need some little sign or nudge to get you to take the step. Or you may just need the right timing or feeling to show up again. In my case, I knew I had more to lose if I didn’t.

You are where you are because of your choices made.

And because of my sabbatical choice, I wouldn’t have traveled to so many great places and countries before 2020. And I wouldn’t have discovered my real passions and purposeful direction in this life that isn’t the corporate path I started on.

I’m not suggesting that’s what you have to do or to be irresponsible. I would never say that as I believe in accountability and personal responsibility. I’m super practical. I’m also led by what I feel is happening in my mind-body-spirit. You get to discern and decide if that’s what is right for you.

From my sabbatical journey, I can tell you, if you follow your internal loving (and not fearful) guides, you won’t be led wrong. Any short-term losses you think you may take, you will gain so much more for your life. Because you’ll pivot into something greater that you would not have uncovered without taking the time off. Your perspective will change and you’ll want to re-strategize your life.

Plus you’ll have all the great memories that you can relive for more years than starting in retirement. (I love looking at sabbatical photos and reminiscing about my vacation and time-off).

But besides good memories, you will gain productivity from resting. You won’t know the individual rewards you’ll gain until you take the bold leap.

When should you do it?

I think I described it above, but the short answer I would give is: when you can. You’ll know when you can’t!

Especially if you’re burned out from your job, have life overwhelm, life underwhelm, considering a career switch, or get laid off, now may be a great time (to eliminate life in burnout to sabbatical living that you didn’t choose on purpose… that can leave you de-motivated instead of feeling excited and energized).

Or maybe you have a deepening desire to explore something new in life and that is winning over any fears you have for taking a risky and unknown bold step towards your future, despite questions from loved ones you may receive.

One other word of nudging encouragement to take the proactive bold step… free yourself from feeling like you have to please others (or be a martyr to do it for others). Your life and mental health are at risk, and if you lose yourself in the process, then you have nothing to give.

A mid-life crisis is a real phenomenon that still exists and can come falling like a ton of bricks. It often sadly ends with regrets and not the way it started.

I didn’t experience that (and maybe that’s because I took a sabbatical) but I’ve seen it in others’ lives and maybe you have or will too.

Sometimes it’s just easier when things happen to you that are out of your control, so you can more easily explain your decisions. You lose a job. You get a divorce or another loss happens.

You can find your lost soul, your higher spirit, or a new mission on a sabbatical.

Personally, I love that the sabbatical idea is catching on in our work-addicted society, especially after a shocking 2020 year where we all had to rethink and redo old ways.

Maybe now is a good time for you and you’re looking for encouraging supporters to take a sabbatical. And maybe I’ve piqued your interest, then you’ll want to keep reading as I share more from my memoir and ideas that can help you… Continue reading “From Burnout to Sabbatical: Recharge and Change Your Life”

What Is Joy vs. Happiness? To Find Your Peace, Balance, and Purpose

joy vs. happiness

What is joy vs. happiness? Joy is happiness, but happiness isn’t always lasting and isn’t internal joy.

The feeling of joy is something you learn in life.

If you go on an experiential retreat, it will only be life-changing for you with your active participation. Similarly, internal joy is deep and can only be fully captured with your own recorded real-life experience.

Words on paper just don’t give the meaning of joy, the richness in feeling that it is. Internal joy brings peace and purpose. No anxiety, worry, or fear.

Written simply on paper, joy is an internal feeling of peace and contentment.

Sometimes joy shows up as an action you take, as you leap For Joy! or you can’t help but smile With Joy.

Those are outward body expressions of the joy that’s already inside you. The happy endorphins can kick in giving you a feeling of being on Cloud 9, but that’s a more celebratory joy that’s fleeting.

Internal joy is different.

You can feel joy even when situations aren’t going in the direction you want. That’s where most people get unplugged from their joy. They can rely on their immediate pleasure (vs. painful feelings) based on circumstances and chasing the next best thing.

It will not give lasting happiness feelings (much beyond the temporary elation effect that wears off), any more than the value of a car appreciating as soon as you drive off the lot.

You know that famous quote passage (written by Alfred D. Souza) that captures the happiness truths in 30 lines long, and starts with:

“We convince ourselves that life will get better after we get married, when we have a baby…” and ends with… “work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.”

I feel like there should be a recent song made from these wise words that don’t get old, but do get missed.

Where to begin to find joy vs. happiness…

Focusing on growing yourself and letting go where you can’t make changes or they don’t serve you, helps grow your contentment and joy.

No one gets a life instruction manual.

Life just shows you in the everyday process, repeating lessons that weren’t recognized the first time, and often end up in disguised self-sabotage setbacks.

Connecting the dots and getting in your awareness, can highlight and allow you to change your patterns with the same unlearned lesson revealed several steps ago. Gratefully, you get second, third, and fourth chances in life’s forgiveness. It’s never too late or too soon.

But getting set in your ways can put you on an emotional roller coaster, of ups and downs based on circumstances. And you can take the limiting ride as many times as you allow yourself. Until a pain or trial is maybe too much to bear, has reached a tipping point, or you’re forced to find another way.

Relying on those ahead of us, we see all these situations and hardships were designed to help set us up to find joy and a better way up.

I know this because that’s how I lived the first 30 years of my life. Scrambling and learning.

However you made it to an adult, at any age and tipping point, you can choose to grow into your joy and fully get the best from life when you realize it comes from inside you. It was there all along.

You’re fully equipped to embrace your power over your forever joy vs. happiness that’s fleeting.

My story may help you find your joy vs. happiness…

Many people don’t start off knowing how to be joyful or peaceful (different than cheerful on the outside or seemingly having it all on paper).  Nature and nurture didn’t set up growing up that way. Those were the cards I started life with.

Continue reading “What Is Joy vs. Happiness? To Find Your Peace, Balance, and Purpose”