Category: Habits

 

My first career job was in hotel catering. Those were the days where I learned the hardest management lessons. And as a young adult who was free to make choices, I could develop habits. These eventually evolved into the modern ayurvedic-inspired atomic habits I do today (that I share below).

You see… back then, it became obvious to me that I didn’t have a work-life balance as I missed all the new Friends (and my friends’) episodes, weddings, and any other current events happening other than the ones I was booking. 

I didn’t have body balance (I was lucky I was young 😉). And I didn’t think about anti-inflammatory spices as they weren’t existing headlines in western world, metro-city area living.

Instead, I was surrounded by high-calorie, buttery-tempting, sweet foods from a daily chef-prepared food spread and kitchen where I spent most of my day. 

I had a dilemma because part of me liked the rich foodie foods, and part of me just wanted to eat healthy every day. I knew I had to find a middle ground. 

So when I left that job and decadent eating world and lifestyle, I entered another dilemma… Yup… fresh Doubletree chocolate chip cookies 🍪 that sat inches away from my office desk (how dare they!). They made for a good snack I thought back then, and was a filling breakfast, high-calorie meal.

Life back then was a blur.

My good habits were going to work, surviving, and trying to do better tomorrow. Little did I know that I was creating space for better work-life habits.

And life improved when I started getting a work-life balance after switching careers. I was able to have a normal work life more like my friends. Working on me, personal growth, the life I wanted, and getting better habits became real.

The previous work must’ve been a test and as far as I’m concerned, all that matters is I passed 😊

But that didn’t come without consequences. I had to replace bad habits I accrued working in a sometimes dysfunctional work environment and from my past.

And I didn’t become serious about better habits until I learned ayurvedic best practices and yoga (about 7 years after I went to a “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” workshop that Stephen Covey taught).

I think the habit stacking idea that James Clear introduced in Atomic Habits (I mentioned in last week’s post) is perfectly timed for what we need now in our complicated society and lives just so we can keep up with all of our habits.

Habit Stacking

Today, in a lot of ways, it’s much easier to develop and stick with healthy habits like eating healthier as we have better resources and tools (digital calorie counters), researched information at our fingertips, and better food options. It’s also easier to get distracted.

But if you focus and lean into the homecourt advantages in your daily surroundings, you don’t have to compete with your possible two critics sitting on your shoulder, and your digital devices staring at you.

Technology and conveniences help us develop automatic and consistent habits, that can eventually become a part of who we are.

Like: I have a writing habit, so now I’m a writer (and a blogger at heart ❤️).

Or, if you can prepare at least 1-2 healthy meals every day, you’re a health-conscious person. In his book, Clear describes these identity shifts as helpful for your atomic habits to take solid root.

For me in my story, I could’ve started a healthy way in my long, hotel workdays, starting each day with a homemade, healthy breakfast (not a cookie) and a light dinner if I had made the decision to create a process or system for healthy eating habits. (Not an excuse, but it’s extra hard for a Vata, as variety is our middle name).

That wasn’t my story though. That would’ve required body-mind agreement in the stressful life I had back then. And I wouldn’t have known how to begin in my life’s busyness.

And that’s how many of us are:

We delay our best life… We can fall into the trap of thinking, “I’ll get healthy (or happy) when… (fill in the blank with the perfect situation… retirement, kids grow up, I have kids, etc..). We don’t know we can do a little here and there to influence a lot.

To make changes, doing the small stuff regularly makes big differences (atomic habits). 

James Clear makes clear (his name works for him!) 4 traits to creating habits that stick.

They are: make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. 

Your description of each of these will be different than mine but here is an example for creating a healthy snacking habit:

I purposefully set up a nice snack table (… festive decorating is part of the territory of someone who has worked in event planning 🎉).  But you can set out a tablecloth and that would be just as good!

On the table, I set out a bowl of almonds or healthy nuts and other seasonal healthy snacks and fruits like baked apples and whole apples. 

You won’t see a disguised trail mix, a bowl of M&M’s, or potato chips. That would defeat the purpose.

For the habit creation, I leave out healthy food items that can stay out (obvious food props) on a pleasing presentation (attractive display) that is convenient for a snack hankering (easy) and is enjoyable (satisfying). 

And when it’s an afternoon snack or break time I can pull out any refrigerated items like this.

You can take this same idea to other places or find a better way that works for you. In most cases, it’s up to you to create the work-life balance and lifestyle you want. Ideally, I try to make a short break, a small party. Life is short and I’m an Enneagram 7, so I lean into the enjoyable as a motivator and as often as I can. 

…I have a smiling photo of me (on my about page) where I’m holding a Strawberry Twizzler, one of my favorite non-fussy sweet treats I can just pull out. You don’t see me holding a healthy baby carrot because that’s not a happy reward unless you’re a rabbit. 

Carrots and almonds are the healthy snacks I default to the majority of the time. Because we all want a healthier body as an end goal, so beginning with the end in mind, I have a process (eating healthier most of the time) that supports that.  

I keep the end goal in my mind as the compass pointing north.

If you want to be healthy and happy, and ultimately both, then maybe these unwritten rules can help you.

Let me start with… You can cheat along the way with unhealthy foods, but be mind-body aware that you are doing so, so you’re the one in control of your decisions. Make sense? 

…Happy is happy (healthy or not), and most of us healthy-minded also want to be happy. 

With my healthy identity, I’m no longer fully happy if I’m not overall healthy and I’m not happy if all I’m eating are bean sprouts and edamame pods. So having this happy-healthy (working with each other) attitude helps with daily micro-decisions that become overall atomic habits.

This mix of healthy and happy I believe is sustainable, balanced living and the right environment for creating healthy habits. Because if you diet or go to the extremes or deny yourself, then you can end up yo-yo dieting, quitting, or reverting backward. It starts out good and then is worse than when you started. 

I use moderation as the measuring stick. So my internal dialogue can be something like this, where I ask myself, “is it satisfying enough?” or…”will a piece of fruit satisfy me now as much as a biscuit or cookie?”

And if you think you’re missing that gene or self-discipline, you’re not alone. But then you accept the consequences that instant gratification brings. 

I know this isn’t new news, and if it’s a struggle for you, then it’s probably a touchy subject and especially if you’re trying to lose weight. But the less aspiration and more awareness you can apply to your situation, the more it can help to break down disconnects from getting you what you ultimately want in your life and what ends up happening. 

Some may think who know me…”OK, that’s easy for you to say because you’re naturally trim.” 

That btw, is a natural Vata body trait. But that’s not the complete picture…  because back in my hotel catering days before I discovered my ideal weight, I fluctuated in my dress size. 

Back then my daily dress size was at least a size or two larger, and I couldn’t fit into the clothes I wear today. There shouldn’t be comparisons because it’s all relative to your body because you only get one in your life marathon.

But, that’s how I know in my experience, that it is a healthy habit that makes the difference or at least gives you that edge to what you want, body and all. The body is important because without good health you can’t live your optimum life. And ideal weight is one of the medically accepted measurements to determine this. And low blood pressure is another.

So to me what our hearts look like is more important than how we look in jeans. So cardio is the ultimate for all. But to stay the same jeans size, here’s what I do:

I think of the small, regular daily habits as healthy ones that will make a difference (atomic habits principle)…  and the rewarding, happy habits like having a weekly treat, as special celebratory ones.

You are better off when you stay sustainably moderate and don’t deny or go overboard either way. Staying consistent year-round is the ultimate test to seeing if a healthy-happy attitude (like I described above) is stacking into habits.

If you apply the 80/20 rule, then 5-6 days of the week you are eating healthy, and 1-2 days you can be roughly taking off. Like a yo-yo, you resiliently let your string out and pull it back in, and you say no thank you to any yo-yo fad diets that come your way.

I think it’s much easier to do this without keeping score. Your body is always keeping score, but you don’t know what the exact rules are or what the magic number is.

It’s a guess as to what your calorie balance or deficit goal is.  …If only your body could give you those exact formulas at any moment?

So, in my opinion, artificial calorie counters or counting sugar grams take the enjoyment out of life when you could use that same useful time and energy to create natural atomic habits.

You can more or less feel the middle balance (and that becomes a worthwhile habit). It’s like training your brain to do quick math without a calculator, but much easier as you’re just using binary numbers 1=yes (eat) or 0=no (don’t eat).

In my world, that’s cutting down the sweets, cookies, and cakes (like those that used to be in open sight in my catering sales days). And now, not indulging in The Great British Bake Off recipes no matter how much I’m a fan of the show! The Jammie Dodgers will have to wait 😉

But I digress.

Healthy and Happy Atomic Habits

If we evaluate our current habits and see which ones are replaceable, tweakable, and what we want to happen, then we can have a balanced (healthy and happy) outcome in life.  …And nowww we’re getting somewhere!

Here are 5 atomic habits you can also do if you want (that started small for me and made a big difference):

1.Daily Morning Atomic Habits:

Last time I talked about my morning yoga habit I created from habit stacking that took a lot of tweaking for my Vata self.

For you, maybe you just need to reframe and substitute “yoga” to “a stretching habit,” and then it’s doable and not a formal or intimidating practice that you’re not ready for. 

When you get up, you’ve already stretched at least once or twice (so why not give a new name called “habit?”).

And from there, you can keep habit stacking, like doing a few situps or pushups, etc… your mantra here can be: a few adds up!

-Create a habit to be intentional for the day. Getting intentionally grateful for something or everything changed everything for me.

I used to have a weekly gratitude journal so I could really take in appreciation for the small stuff… and I mean small relative to my part of the world where people are blessed! (We all start somewhere as it keeps us humble, hungry, thirsty, and wisdom-seeking).

You can journal or simply look at a joyful image like a framed artwork, photo, or outside your picture window for inspiration.

In this place of gratitude, you find peace and contentment. There’s no room to complain. Or to put up with gossip. That changes your joyful outlook and what happens in your day as you create your next forward step. Don’t just look at what happens to you. See how you react and what your attitude and beliefs are, that will shape your habits.

-Check-in with yourself. Take at least 5 minutes in the quiet morning and scan your mind for any ideas and anything that isn’t in a place of appreciation for your day (or sitting as neutral thoughts)… remember, we all start somewhere. 

Get up a little earlier if you have to, in order to claim your quiet minutes.

If you didn’t sleep well, shake off any negative energy, thoughts, and nightmares. You will be okay if you don’t hold onto those thoughts. Let your mind know that your skull is protecting your brain and your thoughts, so it doesn’t have to. I’m serious.

Forcibly if needed, let unforgiveness go. Let the world just be as is in your brand new day – no judgment or comparison to other days. That’s where peace is and you can save yourself the time from eye-shutting transcendental meditation (that I don’t do).

Decide to rise above your insecurities and let go of your worries. Shift to a loving higher road lens that ends fear. (I know because I started out in life afraid of just about anything and everything).

Reset to a day full of abundant possibilities that rely on your hopeful beliefs. 

Then check if you feel something physically off in your body? Maybe your stomach needs food. Get to the bottom of what’s not feeling right, and stack onto your other healthy body habits like drinking water first thing. 

And notice your bathroom habits in the morning. Are they regular? How can you healthily make them more regular? Depending on if you have a pronounced body imbalance, there are different fixes for each Ayurvedic body type.

Some interesting differences I can point out…

Vata, Pitta, and Kapha

Vatas are naturally alert, light sleepers, so having a lot of worrying thoughts is common. Not all worry is bad, but worry as a habit is.

As a Vata, we like a lot of variety. I think I could be a Vata poster child. Loving variety is my favorite Vata feature if I had to pick just one. But then there are times when this can go awry. Like if you’re in a relationship and your partner is a Pitta (a lot of men are).

They may not understand why there are so many different choices and cups of beverages around, and for different drinking desires.  

For a pure Pitta, they like to drink their drink and move on.

A Kapha will leave things be and to what makes another happy (unless they’re not).

But that can be too stereotypical. …what was that movie line where the actor mentioned pigeon-holing or generalizing saves time, lol?

…ok where was I anyway?

Oh right.. we’re not just one type or the other and we can get imbalanced and change at any time. And that helps us build better habits.

As Vatas, we too have experienced impatience, being critical or more judgmental than usual, which are more Pitta traits. And have accumulated in every sense of the word (that’s more of a Kapha trait).

No one is 100% all Vata, Pitta or Kapha, ever. We can have our Vata, Pitta, and Kapha days and strengths or weaknesses (imbalances) happening all at the same time. But usually, it’s just one or two. 

These human nuances I think are part of the fun in learning to read in Ayurveda 😊 (and not having to learn Sanskrit).

So then continuing on with habits… You (and I) can…

-Check in with breathing. After you’re fully awake, get in the habit of focusing on your breath so you can be more aware of this moment. 

I often find I wake up with a slightly stuffy nose. If that’s you, practice breathing in and out of your mouth so you can get full breaths. See if that improves your mental clarity and from being slightly forgetful. Our brains (not just our lungs) need oxygen to optimally function.

You can also add a plant (adds oxygen), humidifier, and steaming (from the shower or in a pot on the stove). Watering can be part of the atomic habits you adopt for a more whole life.

2. Afternoon Atomic Habits:

Sandwich the news in the afternoon and early evening when you’re in the swing of things or eating lunch. I don’t recommend news in the early morning or late night (to start and end your day with other worries and gloomy thoughts). 

Eating a heavier lunch will help carry you through at least part of the afternoon. I don’t combine breakfast and lunch (brunch). I actually eat breakfast, brunch, and lunch. And the afternoon snack already mentioned. And I add spices.

My body runs efficiently that way as I’ve taught it to work and burn calories when I feed it regularly, and it’s hungry for more.

Call it healthy snacking or what you want, but if you try small bites, that could be an atomic habit that works as it has for me. 

I also turn music on in the afternoon and you may find that enhances your mood if you select the right genre.

3. Evening Atomic Habits:

Eat a light dinner. This works better for most body types because naturally, your body is winding down, getting ready for night and sleep that are just hours away. This is where I like to keep a light protein or plant-based meal based on the season. So that could be a homemade soup (low sodium) or a salad.

I reserve the lasagnas and similar heavier meals for leftovers. They taste better the next day anyway. I don’t eat the way I did growing up where we ate our heartiest meal at dinner.

And if you watch nightly media shows or television, end on neutral or warm and fuzzy thoughts. Watch a light-hearted comedy, cooking show, HGTV, or Friends.

4. Weekly Atomic Habits:

I moisturize A LOT. If you’re a Kapha, you don’t need to as much.

While I’m sitting down, I also make a list of revelations and progress that I made in the past week. They help me feel good and keep me focused on what I need to grow or start (that can become a good habit). 

And I feed my mind-spirit with a weekly church where I hear stories and messages I can relate to (like podcast messages). I know I’m not alone. But I know a lot of people out there who feel they are.

So, frequently throughout the week in my quiet mornings and minutes I include outward prayer, higher intellect self-talk, and meditation as absorbing thoughts I get from the Universe while my eyes are open and I’m fully receiving and present.

I started this habit and process of attending church throughout the week, and spiritual identity around when my healthy identity changed. The practice makes everything else work and come alive.

5. Check Your Process (Are you missing anything?)

And FINALLY… homestretch here! For all of us, once you start a process you can recalibrate from that standpoint.

Like, when I restored my mind-body imbalances from Ayurvedic practical habits after I first learned what to do… and then I noticed sometime later, a new set of imbalances settled in. 

It was like: Ok, you got this one down, now it’s time to learn and be tested with another. 

…Isn’t that how most of Life feels?

I found sometimes the imbalance combinations overlapped like feeling tired in the morning and anxious heart palpitations in the afternoon, and sometimes lingering irritation thoughts from a previous season. 

So I started paying attention more from the lens of healthy Ayurvedic habits I formed that complemented my spiritual-faith-based ones. Daily and seasonal restoration work is now natural to me and doesn’t feel like work, but they too have become atomic habits, when needed.

…but I am ALWAYS checking to see (and aware) if I’m missing anything in life (similar to checking if a jean zipper is pulled up).

A balanced mind-body-spirit supports a healthy, whole lifestyle, where you’re open, but not unsure of the most important things about you and your life.

It’s never too late (or too soon) to find what completes you. And, I hope I inspired you to never give up on your healthy life and the small, atomic habits you can start that can grow wings especially if you believe the Universe has your back.

You just never know how a split-second and tiny action can help lead you to what you’re wanting most, and even when you don’t know what that might be right now.