Lagom is a Swedish concept I can live behind. It’s about balance and moderation. That’s what my healthy and happy blog embraces… and this was me soaking that up a few years back in Sweden!
I find balance exists in pushing yourself but enjoying too (and often!), where eating a sweet bite but not the whole cake is healthy.
Good health is happiness and a healthy body. And balance helps your health.
It exists in the boundaries you create for yourself.
And if relationship boundaries are something you want to improve, be sure to read my empowering tips below👇
Boundary setting is a disciplined balance area that I’m proud of in my life today, but wasn’t something I practiced early on when I wasn’t clear about what boundaries were crossed.
Back in my 20s I didn’t have work-life balance that spilled over into my personal life. I worked 50-60 office hours a week in my catering sales manager job in a hotel that was my office…
Hotels like hospitals never close. They’re probably the most hospitable places in the world because anyone can enter the space 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
And that’s what my job hours often felt like with 5 exhausting, 10-hour minimum weekday workdays. Plus, after hour and weekend events (from event parties I planned during the week)… and ontop of that, rotating overnight hotel manager on duty shifts. I was sleep deprived.
…You’d think it would be great to dine and stay in a luxury hotel brand free of charge, but when you’re ON (and working), you get a different perspective of the 4-walls you’re in. Freedom feels like it’s on the other side of the parking lot smelling roses outside, or just doing home laundry.
Those working young adult year stripes I earned taught me that having work-life balance was more important than climbing the ladder to the top that had its imperfections.
So years later, I started over in 9-5 office management roles where I then lived and breathed balance. On the other side, I couldn’t help but gladly think: so this is how my college business major friends live.
…And appreciated that I could actually see them occasionally.
I was loving what 40 hours of work feels like. I had energy again. And free time that wasn’t spent resting in bed.
Then on, I vowed never to sacrifice work life-balance ever again.
And I’ve lived up to that intent and mission ever since.
That aligns with my health values and belief that life is too short to not smell the roses. 🌹
Like the ones I saw this past weekend:
Because you won’t get your time back is my mantra.
And I want to encourage you too to live a life of balance despite what others say about how it doesn’t exist (or some variation of that).
It’s the way to an optimal, healthy life.
Balance already exists in nature.
Where creatures in nature work to survive.
And that can be entertainment to watch…
It’s fun to watch wild squirrels doing their daily comedy acts and calming to see bees buzzing around in flowers.
And it survives on the concept of moderation.
Moderation is a Lagom lifestyle (Swedish origin) of not too much or too little.
That exists in healthy self-discipline (or self-control) ways.
If you deny yourself what you want, then that can hurt longterm and backfire for the initial intent or goal.
Or if you indulge without imposing any rules or guidelines, then that hurts even more as it adds to unhealthy points and you can also feel bad.
And maintaining consistency is in the middle.
Consistency is showing up regularly in the same way to make impact.
But not to be confused with staying comfortable that’s mediocre.
Consistency reaches for higher goals than being comfortable.
And consistency is stability if that’s a better word.
Small (consistent) acts add up. A little each day gets it done. And is the least painful way. You can do it hard or easy. It’s up to you.
Setting a goal or deadline lets you measure so you can more easily see where you are…
If you need to push more or do less (Lagom).
You embrace Lagom when you push: take some risks and reframe sacrifice (e.g. you get to do vs. suffering).
The action taking and the way you think help your balance and to re-calibrate closer to equilibrium. ⚖️
And if we don’t get off our seesaw balance a little, we can be blinded from our balanced perspective.
The secret is to not get too far away from the seesaw balance. And that comes from practice.
Balance is a life art.
And this is a winning game you can play with yourself daily to live out balance (as nature intended) and feel accomplished.
Lagom balance is easier on your own, until (new) work and relationships enter.
Relationship Boundary Rules
I find that when I’m 100% consistent with my boundaries, then I’m 💯 crystal clear when I’m tested in relationships.
And all of us are tested from time to time.
This happens with others who are in the business of crossing boundaries (that’s usually not intentional as we’re all different).
I’m sure you can relate in your world.
…Where your emotions are tested like an anxiety wave moment that passes.
Sometimes it’s a communication way expressed by another or it’s an ask that you don’t want to partake in but feel obligated.
These are good times to exercise boundaries, and nicely express your “no.”
If it’s communication boundaries crossed, I make sure I let work relationships know how to communicate with me and at what times.
If I worked in a crisis or emergency room setting where it’s timely situations or life or death, that would be different. In my past world, that was weddings.
But for standard office matters where the paper work is there tomorrow, I don’t make rule exceptions. And especially with those I interact with regularly. Because if you let things slide once, you’ll be doing it again. That’s rule #1.
I stick to this for meeting boundaries for others who have to reschedule. If they are rescheduling, they work with my availability. That’s Rule #2. Because they won’t respect your time if you don’t respect your time.
And today you can practice these rules with casual (non-work relationship) people you text message with so you get in a good habit.
Consider it’s so easy to send messages these days in microseconds. You can do this faster than you tie your shoe.
And on the receiving end, your time and calm emotional space can easily be invaded with a thoughtless or misunderstood message at your hip.
Remember before we had texting communication ways, we had mailed letters, phone calls, and email.
Those were delayed ways that you didn’t have to sort through right away.
We still have those ways available.
And you can wisely use them with people who don’t have text-iquette… who didn’t get the memo message.
You know who I’m talking about in your life! 😊
And ya know what I mean…. they keep texting you before you’ve even responded once, taking away from your Lagom calm head space as your phone is pinging off the hook.
You can re-write your rules if a sender starts growing needy and communicates too much and too often that isn’t aligned with your life.
Simply write back… “I’ll write back when I’m available (or at ___)” so it’s crystal clear you drew the line in the sand, aka boundaries. No emojis needed.
Believe me their feelings aren’t hurt as they move on to communicate with someone else since you’re not available.
And if they didn’t get your message, then you know that you did the right thing with your first reply… so you can simply answer in silence the second or next time.
And if it’s a work-someone crossing boundaries, let them know how to (newly) communicate with you. Give them two other methods like setting up a phone call or email. Some people need reminders and you have to train them a few times before it sinks in.
They will get it when you stick to replying in only those ways.
And as reward, you get a Lagom life. Remember, you won’t get your time back. It’s never too late to rewrite your balanced life.