Experience Your Deeper Joy Instincts

Instincts help you out. You’ve probably heard of the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO).

During the global lockdown, we went with our better instincts to make decisions, as no one knew for sure immediately what next steps to take.

Some healthy outcomes during that time were that a lot of people grew, became more resilient, and today are still reaping the benefit of becoming better versions of themselves. That’s something to celebrate! 🎂

Even though “missing out” wasn’t something we chose, that’s what most of us did to stay safe and healthy in the world.

But tell that same story logic to a child or a teenager (…or the child still in us 🧸), and missing out on events can be devastating. But it doesn’t have to be!… and below I share two ways that “missing out” can be the biggest blessing for you and us all.

If our happiness is based on external situations, and not on ourselves, we can suffer sadness and disappointment.

Instead, inside us, we have the peaceful joy instincts built-in that today we may or may not have developed fully yet like we would in learning a skill.

…Wherever you are on your journey now is great. You are exactly where you’re meant to be, and you have a choice to replace what doesn’t work best.

And from what I’ve experienced, I know those deeper instincts are there to help us if we’re ready. They give us more peace and steer us to our best life. And I wish I tapped into my inner joy instincts sooner in life.

Feeling inner joy gives us better control over our lives and our feelings in situations we can’t always control dealing with specific people, places, and things we encounter.

And with practice, we can bring out our inner joy and turn it into a daily healthy habit we apply (replacing our original “happy” lens that doesn’t always help us).

I know this all too well from my younger days when I got excited about going to parties that sometimes got out-of-hand… a little too many Animal House-type parties that I wish I could take back now (…and go figure I became a professional party food event planner as my first career to round it all out).

During those immature pre-school graduation days, I wasn’t in control of my life on the inside. I lived for the outward happiness feelings that put me on an emotional roller coaster when situations didn’t go as planned.

And as I grew up… and as you and I are growing now, we naturally grow out of what we already experienced that wasn’t good for us whatever that looked like… and maybe even a bit relieved that we’re past those years and times… grateful we’ve “been there, done that” and not going backward.

For me today and maybe you too… happy fun is re-defined from a new lens of daily joy.

Inner joy is more freeing than external happiness that’s fleeting.

It doesn’t mean giving up on fun because that would be no fun! But coming up with new ways… that’s what I do anyway to please my Enneagram 7. We tend to get our enthusiasm from fun. That’s one thing I hope to never change.

…And that motivated me to set out a fun day (Sunday) anti-inflammatory donut table while Nadal showed his sustainable match win, and the Queen her Jubilee and longevity.

…While creating a menu and daily food joy like this is nice, it doesn’t make or break the day. That’s an example of finding joy in the moment and then movin’ on.

And that keeps the inner peace, and naturally feeling good in daily calm living. Good grows. And I don’t mess with good growth! 🌱

And if you’re into growing, want new experiences, and are ready to tap more into your deeper sides and joy instincts if you’re not already… or still wondering why that matters or how it’s different than what you could be doing…

Here are a few more differences…

By developing your joy instinct by filling up your moments with your peaceful and calmer desires, you feel less disappointed moment-to-moment (or not disappointed at all) when events don’t happen and situations don’t pan out.

And ultimately, you’re in deeper control of yourself, thoughts, and feelings… and that’s super powerful to your life. Finding deeper instincts feels like a superpower when you discover it later in life.

Finding that life-giving abundant space inside is a gift. I think so, anyway.

And experiencing that chosen path opens you to a whole bunch of other great things you pick up along the way.

…Like, I rid of the worry habit. Worry is helpful until it isn’t. It helps when it gets you to think, and those thoughts help you to initiate solutions or a new way to look at a solution.

But staying in the habit of worry is not helpful or healthy. So one day in the bookstore (…remember those?), I picked up The Power of Positive Thinking written by the late-Norman Vincent Peale, and read the “Worry” chapter in the self-help book.

It starts like this… “Worry is just a very bad mental habit. And I can change any habit with God’s help.”

I read that chapter over and over again and practiced the 10-point steps that literally transformed my life of worry in less than a decade. That sounds like a long time, but most great things take time.

And at the time, I loved it so much that I went out and bought a few additional book copies and gave them to my co-workers around me. And I’m passing it on to you here. Hopefully, you can read it…

So then I carried less unhealthy worry turmoil, and I worried less about my workers as they knew what to do. 😉

So leaning into joy has perks and side benefits.

…I hear myself talking about joy like it needs to be sold as a natural drug, haha. And sometimes it does feel that way in a good way!

Two cool perks about stepping into your inner joy are:

Feeling contentment – and not getting emotional when things pan out or don’t. Being free of this feels relaxing, stress-free, and breathes in more joy. Back in the day, when we didn’t know any better, we would describe this as, “you’re so mellow.”

With contentment, you feel more peace and get more done without the thought-feeling drama.

Your creativity – is the gateway to your highest purpose, second or next act, and clarity with what you want to do with your life if you’re not feeling fulfilled with the one you’re in. You can unleash greater imagination, gifts, and buried talents. There’s a treasure trove in you. And it costs nothing to discover what’s inside. Not only can it bring new ideas and save you from spending money, but also save you from losing time and unnecessary headaches.

The two C’s can be a ticket to your best life today. They can make the difference or be your launching pads to a “new life” in a world of uncertainty and give you a peaceful escape from your job, especially if you’re not happy there.

If you’re looking for more joy in your life, be encouraged that the way you started out and the path you’re on doesn’t have to be the one you stay on.

And choosing to trust and lean into your healthy natural instincts is easy, light, and aligned when you pick the channels meant for you.