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Category: Self-care wheel

De-Stress Reminders During Holidays

De-stress is highly called for during the thick of holiday season and looming year-end goal deadlines. Because stress can build up fast any day like a ton of bricks. And can go away just as quickly like a tumbling over Jenga set.

But these types of short-term stressors are different than life long-term stressors that often don’t have a quick ending resolve. You can use the 5 reminders below today to help you through your waiting process.

You can also use short-term de-stress feelings and the useful reminders throughout this article to help you with your long-term stress situations.

…Like for me, I use baking as a way to de-stress and relax after a work week. It keeps me on my toes, literally. I prepare a sweet table of goods and choux.

A healthy Greek yogurt tear-and-share raspberry-pistachio Paris Brest and lemon coconut choux.

…and you too can create your table to help shoo-away stress, and celebrate de-stress.

What isn’t so easy to de-stress restore is undercurrent effects and emotional turmoil stored in the mind-body coming from long-term stress that’s hard to identify.

Those are usually invisible sources which means they’re not as easy to pinpoint and process: like dreams unrealized or deep trauma.

…Or areas of life that haven’t gone the way you wanted.

But unlike long-term stress sources, short-term stress sources are easier to describe with people, things, work deadlines and tasks involved. They are temporary thorns to the side or lasting for a season that has an end (like holiday season end).

Experiencing those temporary stressors mean you’re alive, putting yourself out there, and trying in this life! 🎉

And your gained experiences coming out of stressful situations won’t go wasted in your future as they help you build resilience and adaptability (that make you more productive and joyful, not leaning in on the negative emotions).

Plus, you can productively use the short-term stress situations to de-stress feel-good when they’re immediately over.

Then your heart beats its normal speed again and you do a happy dance inside for your accomplishments. 🫀

…Like when you make a deadline and now the work is out of your hands.

…You feel lighter as the weight is lifted and you get a quick sigh of relief.

Those de-stress happy relief feelings can last for a day or weeks, but they gradually wear off.

But through the process of handling stressful situations and then experiencing them go away, that teaches us for the next time… that things will be okay.

And those lessons carry you to help handle the long-term stress situations that sit as elephants-in-the-room for any season, usually season after season. 🐘 🐘

They’re overhanging in this season of your (and my) life. The problem hasn’t resolved or the dream hasn’t transpired yet.

This can be a few things or big areas in your life…

…And I know how that goes because I started out without balance where I had wheel-of-life (real wheel) problems that felt like I was wrapped around tornadoes. 🌪️

But the problems… no matter what they were, became less problematic as I grew because I gained more experiences and resilience. I also prayed for answers. And my self-care wheel grew.

Eventually coming out of each of those tough situations taught me the most about how to handle stress better and embrace a better life meant for me.

…And your challenging areas in your life have grown you the most. ⛰️

Long-term Stressors are Your Future Dreams

Those long-term stressors from decades ago (that are still around 🐘) are setups for your future dreams realized. ✨

They are what will be your Future Life that has more meaning and purpose than how you started off as an adult.

They will be part of your destiny… and they will lead you away from a ho-hum life that you’re not meant to live.

The sweet spot for you today is to see them as part of a long-term plan and believe they are already yours in the future.

But wisely let them go now if the timing isn’t right.

One day the stars will align in perfect timing for those dreams manifested. Just know they are yours.

In that mindset, you keep going and growing in your life now.

Also, connect-the-dots and remind yourself that your big dreams are in your recurring problems. Yes, they are!

And when you find the blessing in your problems today, you bypass unnecessary stress.

The problems in disguise will deliver you to your dreams on the other side that will change shape, form, and clothes. 😊

Those tough areas of life today that don’t seem to have any resolve in sight can take many twists and turns, heart and headaches, and often many years to come to pass…

They’re the recurring situations that keep showing up as a thorn to your side when you least expect or hope would resolve.

But most likely, they fly in and out of your life and then disappear from view again. But they are not outta the picture, even though they’re not fully visible yet.

They re-appear from time to time as reminders to keep us humble and from doing things and making decisions that we would regret later on.

…And they’re the same thorns that are meant to be turned into victory roses (dreams) later down the destiny road on your designed path.

…No matter what age you are, you have those thorny dreams right now in your life.

You know exactly what your big dream is that has shown up before in some way you know, even if you’re still wondering.

And how you manage your long-term stressor feelings is going to affect your daily life outcomes, physical, and mental health.

…So stay curious, not furious.

The dream triggers and memory reminders are hints for you to keep dreaming about this are, like you do when you’re motivated to fulfill accomplishments.

Except these big dreams blow the little victories away.

Jobs and accolades you acquire will pale in comparison to your dream purpose in this life.

If your dream purpose didn’t show up again occasionally, you wouldn’t know it can be real or leave room for chances.

You wouldn’t be leaving room for the possibilities… where anything is possible in this life.

And this life is meant to be a big adventure (as none of us know the future).

The choice is yours as to whether you embrace that what happens to you is good for you (and not a bad setback).

Enjoy the ride!

I know sometimes that can be easier said than done (or may seem like pie-in-the-sky thinking)… so in those times, simply start by working on stressing less as nothing good comes from stressful feelings.

And, a good de-stress reminder is: 

Remember to keep failing forward.

…Especially on your personal growth attempts (to be a better person).

And remember to keep trying  because anything worth pursuing won’t be easy.

If it were easy, you’d never appreciate what you got because you didn’t work to get it.

And these are 5 good de-stress reminders to help you through the season and the holidays especially when long-term stressors show up or blow up again…

De-Stress Reminders Around Holidays

1.Get peace.

If it’s meant to be, it will happen.

Find your peace.

Right now, today, and in this moment your life deserves peace.

Both calm inner peace and peace about your decisions.

Use discernment for decisions needed to be made and clarity from baby or micro step actions forward.

You’re meant to live whole, loving, and healed today.

(The opposite of living in fear or feeling something inside you is missing or broken).

You’re not a victim to your circumstances… and you can break out of those feelings and mindset in your journey.

“Let the peace of God rule in your heart.” – Colossians 3:15

2.Congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come in your situation.

Reflect on how far you’ve come with your same and recurring stressful situations that used to be so painful in some way.

When you don’t care so much about the situations causing stress anymore as you once did, that’s a healthy move because you’re letting go (and letting light in).

You’re also naturally learning to de-stress some in the process.

Continue to live celebrating your internal wins daily while life is working things out in your favor for the aligned perfect timing. ✨

3.Believe in good things to come.

Believe that what you’re going through and have gone through (…maybe painfully) will help your situation in the end and on the other side. 🌈

Waiting, setbacks, disappointment, and delays now are purposefully setups for your comeback and life appointments.

You can be a victor now by changing your feelings, relaxing, and de-stressing.

Your waiting and what you’re going through now won’t last, but your dreams will come to pass and they will last!

4.Keep going forward and growing healthy.

Keep growing and learning despite your stressful situations.

Keep changing your thoughts to positive, loving ones.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” -Roman 12:2

Your other life-giving areas of your life are meant for this season. 🌱

Cherish them today, because they will change one day.

Use them to help you de-stress through your worry, thorn situations.

5.Keep a de-stress routine.

Find a way to de-stress every day.

I like a warm cup of tea. 🫖

I also do 4-7-8 breathing: inhaling in the gratitude and exhaling stressful negative energy.

When I felt the weight of my situations, I made sure to re-center myself back on my yoga mat and think about what I would be looking forward to later in the week and at nights.

Daily, I stay grateful for what I have in life as part of my habit stack routine. We all have things to be appreciative of in our lives… shoes and socks, showers, food, roof, lights, tea…

And my peaceful ritual every night is at 5:30 pm while working and I’m waiting for the daily sky show to light up.

Looking up and glancing out my western facing windows from my seat, I see the sky colors gradually change from day to night.

I do a little work and then look back up to see the dark rainbow colors change like an Aurora Borealis display.

Occasionally there are late afternoon storms. I find those cleansing. I appreciate the thunder claps and silvery pitter patter rain drops.

It’s not about the type of show I get, it’s about the day and night showing up for me that I take personally.

Every day like clockwork for a half-hour, I pause and a new painted sky happens, often in shades of purple, orange, blues and whites, and that reminds me that EVERYTHING will be all right as promised.

…the sunset show is my de-stress therapy for this season. 🌅 And maybe that’s something to embrace in your changing season.

Self-Care Wheel for Kapha Imbalances

Self-care wheel with love, spiritual, sleep, and energy at the helm.

Self-care wheel balance is heck-yeah! needed in the colder months when our unleashed Kaphas are in full-force…

Wheels in motion take you to where you want to go. A wheel can go slowly or fast, but no matter what speed its default is to move forward (unless you purposefully choose to reverse). And, this article is about moving you forward and bettering your life this season. 🎡

If you understand the nature of Ayurveda as our natural healthy design, then you’ll be able to use that insight for better self-care and restore natural seasonal imbalances.

Like on the exterior, if you have super dry skin every winter along with a skinny frame, then you’re likely a natural Vata body (and not a Kapha body). If you tend to hold extra body weight and metabolize slowly, then Kapha is your natural way. Both feel the cold extremities as traits.

And as natural as having a Kapha body, some of us are more Kapha minded. Or we get imbalanced with tired Kapha moods.

That’s sometimes how I feel in the mornings (when Delta sleep is more like it!).

We can have a Vata body and a Kapha mind (and vice versa) as a simple example. And, there are 9 organized combinations if we want to keep it simple. Because you may be one born dominant in two body or mind ways (doshas). And mind and body connect in the daily mind-body connection to how you think, act, and feel.

The good news is you can positively impact and gradually change what you don’t like by your lifestyle choices. It’s nature vs. nurture where nurture is what you’re living today.

…You don’t have to settle for what you’re born with as lesser personality and traits you want to change.

Genetics is a tougher one to influence and turn the rudder on, but not impossible… and lifestyle tweaks and choice prevention can completely change a lesser situation or a higher probability likelihood.

And so, this article is meant to help you connect-the-dots and live your best life you can today with better lifestyle choices!

I’m focusing on Kapha here because all of us have a little of Kapha going on and that can be heavy in this seasonal time of year (where we hear more cough-as life). 😷

But here I share what I learned circa 2008 that has stuck with me, and what’s newer that I applied starting in 2023 to support healthy daily living intentions and prevention.

…And we know a healthy body translates to a better happy day where we get to do more and make more choices on our terms!

Letting in self-care influences give us more daily joy and balance. When you add better sleep, energy, spiritual, and love self-care into the equation, those move the needle forward. 🧭

A self-care wheel just like that can be the practical guide toward priorities tipping away from the heavy Kapha mind that makes it hard-to-get-going in the morning… or that makes you feel more depressed during colder seasons.

…Where growing up, we called this the SAD season (seasonal affective disorder). I went through this every February in my teens and early 20 years (when one that age should have had more energy). Lack of supplemental Vitamin D and sunshine affected the happy hormones we didn’t know much about back then. Winters were colder in the mid-Atlantic region where I grew up.

But, today we have more self-care knowledge and winters are warmer, and sometimes 70 degrees in some regions. So you can use the better products and circadian rhythm advice out there to your self-care wheel advantage.

…Plus, my healthy lessons learned (that btw get better with age 😉). Below is the skinny on what could help you get the self-care wheel balance you’re needing today.

✨ And these are some obvious Kapha Signs to look out for 👀that may be affecting you (and your self-care wheel):

Kapha Sign #1 (Sleep/energy):

Sleep and energy together because they are so closely knit together. 🧶

Do you find yourself needing more sleep in the cold weather seasons? Or maybe you’re consistently tired?

And that’s a bummer because less sleep means less time enjoying the day or being productive. Not enough sleep, you also lose free time and can lack energy as downsides.

Number of sleep hours are important, but better quality sleep is the better biohack way. And I share the best biohack routine I know and practice below. ⬇️

But for most days, when you get enough sleep, your body wakes up feeling energized. (Sleep + energy = 🤸🏻‍♂️)

You get better connected, cohesive thoughts. Because your body was able to fully recharge its batteries the night before.

Your daily energy ⚡️ is directly affected by how well you sleep. We all know that… and that’s why alarm clocks and caffeine are so popular in the morning.

…And getting less blue light in our eyes at night is up there too as newer healthy artificial habits.

We can also affect the energy systems inside us with better lifestyle choices, like: healthy food and drink choices, when we consume, and exercise.

Energy is not just physical and movement. Or calories.

…It’s also energy in the mind. Our minds can be slow and lethargic and that can be part of a Kapha imbalanced mind.

But there are other signs too… like, we’re not connecting energetically with others (who are energy).

We can have an invisible positive magnetic or negative repelling energy. That’s something visible in your life to consider that often gets missed in relationships and the community around us.

✅ Tips for daily sleep/energy ⚡️self-care wheel balance:

Give yourself more energy. You can listen to music that puts you in an energetic mood, get blood pumping through your veins doing your exercises, and doing a new activity that stimulates your mind. And give yourself daily healthy mind-body energy food.

Kapha Sign #2 (Spiritual):

When our Kaphas are off balance, there’s a domino effect, affecting: feelings, thoughts, and how much of our lit spiritual selves we let in. And these impact our daily actions.

The actions (or inactions) that accumulate pounds, things, emotions, and piles of things as examples are obvious exterior signs. They’re processed deeper in mind-thoughts that change our feelings and moods.

To change, it’s easier to look at the exterior signs (as mirrors and clues) to our inner going-ons that creates our world, so we can get more grounded and tap into our inner power.

If you find the clue that you’re accumulating in some way, the deeper source could be because you’re wanting to be alone and building up a wall from others. Or you’re just plain tired from picking up toys and piles, and cleaning up.

…The source isn’t as important as knowing that those are classic Kapha awareness imbalanced signs. And since we don’t want to exude growing unhealthy behavior that accumulates, we can change choices…

So, look around… have you accumulated things or have you stopped putting things away as much? Do you have unintentional messy piles, clothes, or toys left out for another day?

“Disorganized” and “clutter” (descriptions that can harshly rub like an abrasive scrubber as the elephant in the room) —  usually go hand-in-hand because it’s the same mind feeding the non-serving abrasive message.

…And this can leave feelings of shame that can gradually turn into self-loathing if allowed. That’s sobering, but helpful because then we can be aware and fix what isn’t healthy.

✅ Tips for daily spiritual 🌟 self-care wheel balance:

Practice letting go. Ignore your heavy Kapha thoughts as this derails you from your this season’s purpose. This can sound challenging if you’ve never exercised this right to ignore any of your thoughts, but it’s so liberating!

Rewrite not-so-great thoughts if you never have (and do it over and over again if you have). Nip it in the bud when the thoughts arrive.

You can save time, money, and effort that your brain would otherwise send you to go spend on… like I’d be happier if I had ___ shopping item, ___  life, or ___ relationship.

Feeling content can do wonders for you if you can do that step.

Many years ago, I discovered that I didn’t have to accept my random thoughts that entered my mind. I could decisively ignore and even peacefully disagree. How was that the first time?… very weird.

…But when I practiced that habit, my life changed and I didn’t let the beaten down tracks play over and over again. The better track connect-the-dots and stops fictitious endings from forming.

With those positive step actions, I could walk away and then my better moods came back.

I could change my moody feelings and re-direct my perspectives. And you can too if that’s what you want…

Where and how are you on your mind and thought journey?

Here are the simple steps 👣

Recognize the thought: negative, unproductive thought (alert!)

The action: walk away

The walk away feeling: freedom vs. ego smothering protection and feeling bad about something, people, or myself

Repeat.

Kapha Sign #3 (Love):

Getting back or having healthy self-love is most important in matters of love and relationships. That’s how we also attract healthy relationships.

But, heavy imbalanced Kapha minds can have extremes: acting prickly toward people or relationships. Or acting needy and dependent to those who don’t reciprocate. These do the opposite of attracting (and sometimes wrongly attract opposites).

Smothering (or semi-mothering) can make others feel like a boundary is crossed, and can easily destroy a relationship.

When we expect others to make us happy, we set ourselves up for disappointment. So focusing on loving ourselves first allows us to energetically have an authentic overflow of love that pours out to others.

In self-care, we used to call this Me-Time that has become Me-Too as a form of love and healing.

✅ Tips for daily love ❤️ self-care wheel balance:

Be kind to yourself and your body, and tell your mind: “I am enough.”

Repeat saying to yourself: “I am loved” as a daily mantra.

******************************************

🧡 And FINALLY,  from my newer lessons learned on the self-care wheel:

In 2023, I started intermittent fasting in my life for healthy gut reasons. But I found in my self-experiment (that I journaled about)… it also improved daily sleep, energy, and gave lighter mind-thoughts.

On those IF nights, sleep is better because the body doesn’t need to go to extra work to process food ontop of all its miracle daily resetting functions (…and why we need sleep in the first place!). And the liver doesn’t have to work hard to process beverages other than the mostly water clear kind. I like herbal teas.

So building in a weekly routine practice, I experienced not needing as much sleep and improved sleep quality.

👣 If you want to know how to optimize IF and Kapha metabolism for all the daily healthy benefits (and biohacking your body’s health), you can learn and read more about my journey.