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What Is Joy vs. Happiness? To Find Your Peace, Balance, and Purpose

joy vs. happiness

What is joy vs. happiness? Joy is happiness, but happiness isn’t always lasting and isn’t internal joy.

The feeling of joy is something you learn in life.

If you go on an experiential retreat, it will only be life-changing for you with your active participation. Similarly, internal joy is deep and can only be fully captured with your own recorded real-life experience.

Words on paper just don’t give the meaning of joy, the richness in feeling that it is. Internal joy brings peace and purpose. No anxiety, worry, or fear.

Written simply on paper, joy is an internal feeling of peace and contentment.

Sometimes joy shows up as an action you take, as you leap For Joy! or you can’t help but smile With Joy.

Those are outward body expressions of the joy that’s already inside you. The happy endorphins can kick in giving you a feeling of being on Cloud 9, but that’s a more celebratory joy that’s fleeting.

Internal joy is different.

You can feel joy even when situations aren’t going in the direction you want. That’s where most people get unplugged from their joy. They can rely on their immediate pleasure (vs. painful feelings) based on circumstances and chasing the next best thing.

It will not give lasting happiness feelings (much beyond the temporary elation effect that wears off), any more than the value of a car appreciating as soon as you drive off the lot.

You know that famous quote passage (written by Alfred D. Souza) that captures the happiness truths in 30 lines long, and starts with:

“We convince ourselves that life will get better after we get married, when we have a baby…” and ends with… “work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.”

I feel like there should be a recent song made from these wise words that don’t get old, but do get missed.

Where to begin to find joy vs. happiness…

Focusing on growing yourself and letting go where you can’t make changes or they don’t serve you, helps grow your contentment and joy.

No one gets a life instruction manual.

Life just shows you in the everyday process, repeating lessons that weren’t recognized the first time, and often end up in disguised self-sabotage setbacks.

Connecting the dots and getting in your awareness, can highlight and allow you to change your patterns with the same unlearned lesson revealed several steps ago. Gratefully, you get second, third, and fourth chances in life’s forgiveness. It’s never too late or too soon.

But getting set in your ways can put you on an emotional roller coaster, of ups and downs based on circumstances. And you can take the limiting ride as many times as you allow yourself. Until a pain or trial is maybe too much to bear, has reached a tipping point, or you’re forced to find another way.

Relying on those ahead of us, we see all these situations and hardships were designed to help set us up to find joy and a better way up.

I know this because that’s how I lived the first 30 years of my life. Scrambling and learning.

However you made it to an adult, at any age and tipping point, you can choose to grow into your joy and fully get the best from life when you realize it comes from inside you. It was there all along.

You’re fully equipped to embrace your power over your forever joy vs. happiness that’s fleeting.

My story may help you find your joy vs. happiness…

Many people don’t start off knowing how to be joyful or peaceful (different than cheerful on the outside or seemingly having it all on paper).  Nature and nurture didn’t set up growing up that way. Those were the cards I started life with.

Continue reading “What Is Joy vs. Happiness? To Find Your Peace, Balance, and Purpose”

8 Ways to Avoid Stress Eating Anxiety and Holiday Stress

stress eating

Stress eating can be real anxiety for the best of us (that can easily become a bad habit).

Feeling anxious from a negative thought can cause overeating and shoveling food into our mouths. This feeds our natural desire to enjoy pleasure. But then we regret our decision the next day, as it shows up on our body and then can turn into anxious body thoughts (in the mind-body connection).

Below are some ways to break the stress-eating vicious cycle, especially around the winter holidays.

Especially in December, we can’t avoid messages about the new year being around the corner, that brings awareness to what we need to do to finish up the year, and then that reminds us of the hoopla of what happened and disappointments of what hasn’t yet.  We just want peace, joy, and love.

By no fault of your own, holiday anxieties can be triggered in your mind-body, and aggravate stress eating as a comforting behavior that disturbs healthy living aspirations.

One way you can start to change this is to find a healthy set of friends (or a virtual community) who will support you and you can share your successful moments with. Choose these optimistic friends over complainers. You want to leave your near-year ending on a sweet (not sour) high note.  Stay encouraged, growing, believing, and finding new year inspiration.

On that note, I have some holiday stress management encouragement…

Because we all bear some kind of stress as humans. At a bare minimum, you may have been thrown a few monkey wrenches within the year and an uneventful holiday ending.

You may have thought you’ve had enough, and you would just coast the rest of the year and take time off, and then something suddenly came up. You’re asked to make an off-course decision or two, be more creative than you’ve been (thinking outside the box), and work harder in your uphill climb despite facing ups and downs.

You’re not alone.

Look on the brighter side of things, you’re needed and you have a chance to make an impact in some unique way.

Those you-matter thoughts help your inner peace, that you can get back and are just a few steps away in your meditation practice, prayer life, or relaxed walk.

By a simple choice, you can change your mind and attitude just like that if you want to, despite your feelings or moods.

You always feel better than you did after the fact. You never know what thoughts and ideas are on the other side, but the time you put in is rewarded.

You’re better off if you find some way to be optimistic, even if it’s just borrowing a belief. Sometimes you have to just do it, to adopt a new way.

stress eating

Recently I was tasked to virtually decorate my Zoom screen background for a holiday meetup… those are common this year, right?

I don’t how you feel about yourself in a digital world, but coming up with a digital holiday background isn’t in my go-to wheelhouse bag of tricks, and maybe not in yours either. So I dug deep and basically looked around (…isn’t that how we were resourceful when we were younger?), and that led me to bring out the soft felted stockings and artificial decorations from the Christmas storage bin.

I’m an arts and crafts type. As a scrapbooker, I like handmade, decorating with brads and ribbons, and the whole nine yards for anything you can touch and feel… Continue reading “8 Ways to Avoid Stress Eating Anxiety and Holiday Stress”

Sixteen Candles and Balancing Aromatherapy Healing Scents

This is more than 16 candles, it’s closer to 66 candles!

Sixteen Candles was one of the coming-of-age comedy genre movies that existed during the Brat Pack Days. If you don’t know what that is or means, don’t worry ‘bout it… if you’re interested in candles and aromatherapy healing, you’re in the right place.

And if you haven’t seen the 80’s classic movie, the Actress Molly Ringwald played the slightly quirky and embarrassed teenager who had a crush on the most popular boy in the school.

Her family forgets her 16th birthday around the planning of her sister’s wedding and all kinds of family chaos. With her signature pouty mouth and rolled eyes typical of  teenagers (…remember those rebellious years?), her character, Samantha, says it all in this one line… “this is the single worst day of my entire life.”

Because when you’re a teenager everything is so magnified and important.

…Long story short, the movie has a sweet ending that includes birthday candles.

You and I have long passed our sweet 16th birthdays, and have created so many memories since. Whether yours was uneventful or memorable, you’ve survived.

And you can choose to live each day like a happy birthday if you’re doing and being well.

I was able to relive my fond memories by bringing out these bright cotton candy pink, white, sunny yellow, and navy blue candles, that have special meaning to me. They’re the ones you can find at the dollar stores. They were also the ones I saw on many kids’ birthday cakes.

sixteen candles

…maybe you have a similar or favorite birthday memory that brings happy nostalgia feelings?

As an adult, you can make your own great memories, and that’s something to celebrate. One way I do regularly in joy and celebration is with scented candles that create a happier mood.

Scented candles can be healing for your soul. The light’s warmth and the aromatherapy effects, positively affect your mind and moods. Candles are powerful and healing. They can define a practice in a special way. You could be meditating, journaling, or just creating a new room atmosphere.

Sixteen Candles

These are my favorite balancing sixteen candles, that are easy to find online or at stores, and come in all shapes and sizes.  There’s also one called “Birthday Cake” that smells like yellow or vanilla cake batter (similar to Christmas Cookie), but I think that candle is retired.

  1. Sand + Fog candles Limoncello
  2. Sand + Fog Mango Tangerine
  3. Yankee Candle Christmas Cookie
  4. Yankee Candle Vanilla Cupcake
  5. Yankee Candle Juicy Citrus and Sea Salt
  6. Yankee Candle Belgian Waffles
  7. Yankee Candle Sugar & Spice
  8. Yankee Candle Tangerine
  9. Yankee Candle French Vanilla
  10. Yankee Candle Pumpkin Pie
  11. Village Candle Orange Dreamsicle – orange and vanilla candles have special powers over anxiety.  If you don’t smell them or they’re sickenly sweet then it’s a good indicator that you’re Vata balanced overall at the moment… or if you never liked those scents, that’s not your natural dosha.
  12. Yankee Candle Fresh Cut Roses
  13. Yankee Candle Lemon Lavender
  14. Yankee Candle Mistletoe
  15. Yankee Candle Balsam and Cedar
  16. Yankee Candle Sparkling Cinnamon

“Continue reading” for more aromatherapy option ideas and some photos of my personal, fun favorites 🙂
Continue reading “Sixteen Candles and Balancing Aromatherapy Healing Scents”

The Mind-Body Connection For Mental Health

In America, our culture has noticeably woken up in awareness of this mind-body connection reality.

Your mental health is a reflection of your overall health, showing up in your physical body, through the internal mind-body connection.

If you were born before the internet, this could be a newer idea to you as you didn’t grow up with yoga or meditation practice.

In 2008, I attended yoga studios and classes weekly, but you had to do some research to find a general type of yoga class like Hatha or Vinyasa yoga.  Over a decade later, you can find studios everywhere, for beginner and advanced yoga, and every class flavor in between.

This growing popularity of yoga in the western world bridged eastern philosophies that the mind directly affects the body. There’s a fine line between fact and woo, and distinction to spiritual thinking.

The mind-body connection is factually based, and you can find enough supportive evidence without too much effort on just about any credible mental health site.  Personally, I’ve been living this out since my Perfect Health mind-body transformative experience.

Why the mind-body connection matters

Living in America, the bottom line to why mind-body connection matters to us are that we want to live our Best Self, so that:

1) we can have a great career, work-life, or business (or all three).

2) we can attract and keep a good relationship, have a happy family and friendships too.

3) we can stay healthy and look good and have the energy to pursue our passions, contribute, and give back.

Our Collective Bodies Today in America

In America, as a whole society, our bodies can get brushed aside unless we prioritize taking care of ourselves.  This has stayed steady through the generations and hasn’t changed much from past decades.

It still takes work to maintain our bodies, and how much we do this can depend on our limitations, body, genes, lifestyle, attitudes, and thoughts.

We take care of our bodies, first so we can look good and appear healthy, and we’ll spend the money to invest in ourselves.

No matter what our motivations are, by taking care of our bodies with healthy foods, exercise, and good habits, our bodies are naturally resilient and strong, and we can get back to our normal health with relative ease if we’re healthy.

Like so many, when I was in my twenties I felt healthy enough, so having life longevity goals just wasn’t a top priority (like in other countries around the world).

In some other countries, patients are told they’re physically well so that they think themselves to better health.  A healthy mind does good for the body.

In America, health prevention and pacing ourselves is not the way our society is set up. We don’t usually take the time to find out what’s going on behind the scenes in our bodies unless something goes wrong.

If we’re on the toilet too often or not enough, that becomes a mild concern as it’s telling us something about our current health story.

We hope and rely on modern medicine to cure and correct any building-up health problems.

If you go to the doctor’s office, they will prescribe some form of medication even if it’s just a mild pain killer.  They won’t usually just send you home with happy thoughts and a list of foods to eat.

Expecting to hear something wrong and how to fix the problem can cause pre-conditioned responses.  In thinking that we need medicine to heal or use as a “feel-better” crutch, addictions can take control (over minds and lives) if we’re not careful.

That can lead to hypochondriac thoughts and obsession over the smallest physical symptom that gets worse because of the excessive energy and worry thoughts put towards inflammation or ailment.

These are not good places for our minds to be. We want our thoughts to be happy, positive, and loving so we have healthy bodies (in the mind-body connection).

The thoughts that you agree with will drive your results.  Stress eating and unknown caused inflammation that often gets brushed under the rug as minor, are potential signs that a place in your mind isn’t happy.

Practical Mindful Tips for Mind-Body Connection Health

Here, I want to give you some practical mind tips to positively affect your mental health, so you can improve your physical health.  These can be wise gems you apply for longevity, overall good health, and a rockin’ body!

Begin with an open mind for what you want to achieve, whether that’s a great physical body or a healthy body, and your intention will help get you there in the mind-body connection.

Continue reading “The Mind-Body Connection For Mental Health”

Anxiety Attack What to Do and Causes

Anxiety attack

Anxiety attack or panic attack can be very shocking it happened the first time if you’ve never experienced before. It can be eye-opening and impact you for the days to come.

This article is about what to expect, do, and possible causes so you can be better prepared or prevent an attack.

I gratefully only had one panic attack that did not become a norm reaction. So I share what I did. I’m a Vata where we have natural anxious tendencies.

When you  spend your day worrying about the next time anxiety can take over your time and day, that’s not helping you. That’s not how you want your life to go. You want to get the life you want and a slower paced life.

You didn’t sign up for or schedule the setback anxiety interruption in your day.

Where now you can be dealing with any number of physical symptoms.  And you may even think you’re being a hypochondriac.

If that’s the case you want to rule out all the possible health reasons that caused your anxiety attack.

Dizziness and fuzzy brain could have come from nasal or head congestion and allergies, as your nose is connected to your inner ear that controls balance. And your frontal lobe near your forehead is where you do most of your cognitive, rational reasoning.

So if you can’t think clearly and it shows up around the same time every day, you could have developed seasonal allergies.

Hay fever fall symptoms may be worse in the afternoon than spring or summer morning allergies.

If you don’t eliminate common allergies as a potential cause, then that can lead you to create additional anxiety and worry that’s not helping.

Here Comes the Anxiety Attack

An anxiety attack can leave you dazed and unpleasantly change the course of your day.

You may feel you need to take the rest of the day off, suddenly rearranging your calendar.

An anxiety attack can also leave you feeling defeated because you’re working to manage your feelings and thoughts that can spew out into your body like uncontrollable bursts, showing up as heart palpitations, sweaty palms, dizziness, etc.

Similar to an anxiety attack, a panic attack can also come on suddenly.  Usually, it’s more serious and from a buildup of stressors in your life.

This can shock you.  You are no longer the same person you were just a few minutes ago where you were fine.

In a panic attack, the automatic functions in your body are still running but usually are frozen or hindered from taking action physically or cognitively.

When you come out on the other side, you are confronted with your life and have the opportunity to make a change so you don’t have another panic attack (or worse warning symptoms).

For me, that was in my 20’s from a series of life problems and roadblocks.

Post-trauma I never dealt with and ran away from in my mind by letting the past stay in the past.  The problem with that strategy is that your brain doesn’t work like that.

Your brain’s subconscious can hold onto your thoughts forever.  Sometimes when reminded or a trigger occurs, then you’re put back into reliving those memories.  And can start feeling panic or anxious again.

You can be brought back to your past as though it were yesterday.

Until you can heal and cut out the parts that were broken or scarred, you don’t function in the best that you could.  Your perceptions of life can get distorted.  You can hide or avoid certain situations.

Your insecurity guard can rise.

You can make wrong assumptions that provide a safe haven for your mind to temporarily settle in, but that can lead to problems down the road.

What to Do First After You Have an Anxiety or Panic Attack?

These are 3 important steps:

  1. You may feel shaken or light-headed.  Sit up and just breathe.  Then focus on your breath for a few moments. If there’s not a chair in the room, sit on the floor.
  2. Drink at least half a glass of water.
  3. Calm, relax and take the rest of the day off if you can (or at least a few personal moments to yourself).

Shut your door for privacy, and turn off your phone.  Disconnect for as long as you can for the day.

Take time to re-orient and relax.

Think as though: if you have ever gone in for an in-and-out surgical procedure, you take it easy for the rest of the day so you can recuperate.  You don’t push yourself as that can exacerbate your healing time.

If it’s your first anxiety attack, you may still be shell-shocked.

I know I was when I had a deeper panic attack where I sat frozen and the color on my face left and I was pale as a ghost.

I could feel my heart beating fast but nothing cognitive was registering and thoughts weren’t entering.

I wasn’t thinking.

I was just sitting in a chair, and I could feel my feet and hands numb and wet.  Time stood still and I felt helpless.

When I came to, I re-oriented myself to my immediate office space.

A friendly co-worker entered my space and I told her what happened, and avoided anything unpeaceful.

Fast forward over 20 years later, and I remember this episode like it was yesterday.

You may be alone away from people, so that is why it’s always good to have water next to you, as you never know when it can come in handy.

If your anxiety attack happens at nighttime that is common. First thing when you wake up, reflect for a few minutes on what you went through before you go about your routine.

If it happens in the morning, ease into the rest of the day.

The Same Week of the Attack

Journal and reflect on what stress buildup created the episode.

What have you been worrying about in your life that could have led up to your anxiety attack?

Find an easy, simple, and fun activity to lower your stress.

Easy is you don’t have to think long and hard to find the materials or start doing.  Knitting for me is a ball of yarn and a pair of knitting needles that take up little space.

Using your hands gives you a sense of usefulness.

Just the act of picking up your favorite tools or instruments can be satisfying and lower your blood pressure.

Remember the stress ball?  By the way, I love my special pens and baking whisk.

You could even create something simple that helps you feel accomplished.  A simple bake or your creative hobby can bring you in a better mood.

The idea is to keep it simple as you want to stay in awareness that this week was different because you had an anxiety attack. That’s the theme for your week.

You don’t want to forget so easily as you want to come up with solutions for now and the future.

Because otherwise you could later on the question whether you really did have an anxiety attack and then this could become a regular occurrence and way of life that you now have to manage.

Starting now, anxiety attack prevention is a better way.

To get you calm and reflecting deeper, you can do a little yoga or stretching that can be done anywhere. Using your legs can make you feel grounded and good.

Take the time and opportunity on the floor or yoga mat to self-discover more about what’s going on inside you.

Sometimes you can’t come up with the specific reasons to, “what could have caused the anxiety attack?”

So, What Else Could Have Caused your Anxiety Attack?

These are 3 possible causes:

Reason # 1: Your need to be in control.

Are you the type of person that wants to plan everything to feel comfortable?   If yes, you’re not alone.

That was me too.

In my first career, I worked with Brides, who as you know want “the perfect day” to happen. Even the nicest one of them can feel the pressure.

When you’re event planning, you learn to be flexible and let go.  This allows you to be present with clients and focus on their needs.

In that catering world, the norm is that changes are made every day (sometimes all day) and decisions can be made “on the fly.”

That way of being loosened me up to learn to surrender that which I could not change or control in my professional and personal life.

So in the same way in your life, you can ask yourself, “what changes can I make so that I can let go of the need to plan and know everything?”

Unknown and uncertainty can be the reason for your anxiety attack.

Consider, if you knew everything now about your life, you’d live a completely different experience.

You could have even less control than living in uncertainty because everything was planned out without you.

So if you find joy in the surprises and unknowing journey process of life, then you enjoy the now and your future.

Reason #2: Your ego.

Maintaining a healthy ego is important to prevent anxiety attacks.

Because the unhealthy ego will interject ugliness into your mind to prevent you from taking good action.

If left untreated by you, the ego can spiral out of control taking over your mind and life, affecting your relationships.

You can end up living selfishly, in delusion, or as two personalities.

I’m sure you’ve heard of people like this.

They appear bipolar or split-minded, that’s actually very common.  They do not see this quality in themselves, and therein lies the problems.

The ego lies to the person.

We have the ability to change our ego lives in our own awareness.

Ego can cleverly ruin your life by tricking you so naturally.

Here’s a simple example.

I can suggest you pull out a mirror, and tell yourself loving and positive self-affirmations.

And you may not choose to do it because something (an impostor) in your brain is resisting.

Such a simple action (pulling out a handheld mirror) that doesn’t necessarily require you to even get up from where you are.

And you can find the task hard to do because more deeply you don’t want to allow yourself to feel good about yourself.

To remedy this, you could in awareness act like a witness to this behavior (or non-behavior) for your own self-love and personal growth.

Toddlers and animals don’t have these hangups.

All they know is love and assume self-love without giving thought to any other way, as they’re missing that gear.

We can learn a thing or two from them.

Reason #3: Your worry.

You were expecting a job, a career to pan out, or a relationship, and got disappointed or frustrated.

As time went on, reality sunk in and the truth about your situation became clear.

You have worry, panic, and anxiety that comes from these situations in the mind-body connection.

Your body gets out of balance and you can have an anxiety attack.  Your thoughts can turn into inflammation or a stress pimple or gray hair.

You can decide to change your thoughts.

If you can flip your perspective and outlook of situations, this can change your life outcomes.

You can start with little stuff.

You spill a drink.

You could look at that as an inconvenience to have to wipe up.  Or you can look at it as an opportunity to clean your space and feel good afterward.

Similarly, if someone takes your parking spot, you could use that to demonstrate your self-control, patience, and kindness.

The more you practice, the better you get.

Be encouraged that the best blessings are in the waiting and in the unknown. You will grow. Stay hopeful and remember to believe that. 🧡