Category: Happiness

Confidence building is underrated if you don’t want a repeat of last year in certain aspects of your life. We’re meant to grow and get better.

And this could be a good blog article for you to read to bring out your confidence building skills this year…

Let’s start from the beginning…

If you were born into a home where love was expressed daily, then you felt a sense of security and confidence that others did not (but could develop).

Whether that was your luck in life or not, you grew up and don’t know any different life outside your body. It’s all relative to you.

And if you didn’t grow up with developed inner confidence building (how my life story began), you can give that to yourself in empowered confidence (and self-love) that maybe through my ethos, transparency, and sharing in this article can help to encourage you along your journey.

And a little sweet treat never hurt either. I grew up with blueberry muffins (and graduated to a blueberry muffin healthy recipe below that can be made into snack energy balls 🫐)

Btw, as a grown adult looking back, neither upbringing situation is better or worse, it’s what you do with your life situations that makes the difference in your outcomes and happiness.

So, that’s the first conscious belief you can be reminded of to help you.

“What you think, so you will become.”

-Napoleon Hill

But, if you didn’t grow up with an assured sense of familial belonging or love, then you probably started out not expecting as much from others and had the desired sense for comfort and belonging because that was missing early on in your life.

But that’s different than insecurity which is an area that manifests and shows up in many different ways for anyone and isn’t always as easy to detect.

Insecurity can run along the crevices and cracks in a person, showing up at any given moment or when triggered. Just like emotions can.

In an interview with Oprah, Priyanka Chopra Jonas acknowledged that her parents never fought in front of her when she was young, and that gave her a sense of balance and confidence (but she also faced insecurities from the external world because she lived in two different cultures). I stay attuned on the yoga mat!

Balance Is Life’s Answer

And Priyanka got the concept right. Balance is a healthy recipe for children growing up. But not everyone has that story theme running as a backdrop.

And in that case, you can be more hungry for what you didn’t have if and when you get a taste of it and want more… and then the balance can swing the other way (off-balance) on the pendulum until there is a counterbalance back to balance.

…So early on, I was far from knowing how to restore my imbalances (or counterbalance), so in hunger, I’m making up for in lost time 😉

These days, I choose to live calm and happy with optimal living and work towards longevity goals, over instant gratification and unsustainable desires.

I believe it all works out in the end in your confidence of knowing what you want that’s healthy. And I believe your beliefs carry you.

But that didn’t take effect until years after tasting work-life balance for the first time in my late 20s. Everything before that felt like a hard test I couldn’t pass on my own, I think.

In those days, I came to the realization that work-life balance was more important than grinding myself to the bone to meet life goals which was the opposite belief I held before then.

I had the opportunity to drop more things I had been dragging around as baggage crumbs, previously hidden under the rug.

And as years passed and experiences were gained, I realized Life can evolve into something different anyway. That can help us grow and change.

The one constant I have held onto is: time is more valuable than money. Paper is manmade and can be regenerated (and time cannot).

When I freed up mind time (letting go and surrendering old beliefs) and I started to work on myself, who I was becoming that would determine outcomes, and I noticed insecurities showed up.

Before then, insecurity was like an invisible blanket where there was a transparent veil covering.

Then unmasked, those feelings were mostly made aware to me in triggered relationship-related thoughts I had, and in those magnified situations, then I could take the opportunity to make a thought change at that moment and tell my mind who’s boss. 😊

Oh – joy… and how satisfying!

If you’re in an awareness zone or reflective season in life, then you know what I’m talking about as you evaluate your life.

And you know your thought life is changeable! You may not be good at it yet, but you know it’s possible. Yay! 🎉

Being aware is easier if you’re not so busy (and finding a few moments to reflect even if that means waking up a few minutes early but then feeling much better in your day).

With an aspired balanced lifestyle and evolved mind these days, I can work on myself, and confidence from the gains of this year and past year’s experiences. And finding Life happiness isn’t based on situations.

If balance or happiness are not natural or strong suits for you, then using a journal can be a good first step to purge thoughts and feelings.

As you reflect on this year’s end, you could make a list of all that you have accomplished including mindset shifts, attitudes, and beliefs. For starters, you probably are more patient, resilient, thankful, kind, valuing people, and less selfish (or maybe even a bit selfless).

Those traits will help you do and get more in your life!

Plus, add any tangible accomplishments. I’m sure there were A LOT more than you think in your mind at the (or this) moment.

After you’ve got them written and meditated on them, then let them go so your ego doesn’t get the better of you.

And those helpful actions will help bring healthy outcomes and changes in your life (that’ll pay dividends for the rest of your life).

And if you want to feel even better about yourself today, you could bring out your writing pad and pen or writing instrument and jot down a few extra thoughts about how you can use the changes you’ve made in the past year — for next year.

A little year-end goal-setting never hurts and can help because we know action provides clarity. You put one step in front and that provides a new experience and perspective.

And then openly see what comes up in new doors.

A good place to start is to think of an area you would like to grow in and expand by teaching or sharing with others what you know.

Whether you end up teaching or not is not the only endpoint.

It’s really just to get the action ball rolling and juices flowing. Because when you think of what you can teach, that requires you to have learned and processed what it is you want to teach.

And not knowing everything on that subject makes you better because you’re determined to learn and stay relevant.

And when you can teach others in a way they understand, then you know you’ve passed the test. You can also fine-tune and discover a deeper niche, or discover an area that you had previously dismissed (where the timing wasn’t right).

You keep pivoting and trying new things. No harm, no foul.  It’s all good. And keeps your fountain of youth. And as you persevere, you become more resilient.

And if you have moments where your feel down on yourself or your accomplishments, refer to your positive pep-self-talks (the ones in front of a mirror) and your past-year accomplishment written notes you hopefully made (or will make) from the above suggestion.

It’s easy to forget what you did this year and a few years ago as current and year-end thoughts and feelings can crowd in, so just a nudge to take those few extra minutes to take a pause.

And another note is to focus more on who you became (who you are today) and are becoming more of, and not so much on what the accomplishment means.

An example in my life is I wrote about lessons learned and ended up publishing a book that is easier to refer to than a bunch of micro-lessons. I didn’t set out to write a book but it made sense at the time.

Since then I’ve grown in other areas (that’s what growth mindset means) and I can’t go back and replace those exact thoughts in the same way, so the timing was (and is) everything.

I got the ball rolling, evolved, and am evolving…  and that’s my encouragement to you.

You did great things this year and in 2020 (a year none of us will forget) and the time leading up to then. And some are gained life skills. That can help in confidence building toward your future.

You can diversify where you use your transferrable skills in different multi-passionate areas.

…And since I’m on a multi-area roll here, another area I like to be reminded of is about making new friends online which we all can do.

We find our people out there that we wouldn’t be able to without the internet (and with or without a pandemic).

While socially distanced, it’s a healthy comforting bright spot to be in a like-minded community, and we help one another be better versions of ourselves in some ways.

It’s not the vanity photos and words that we want to show off, but the inspirations, and ideas that we want to pass on.

The contagious energy brings more love, encouragement, and support to your life and others.

…And couldn’t we all use some of that in our lives to keep us lifted up and to further optimize our aspired highest quality of living?

You matter. And in your empowerment, it’s really about you participating and sharing some bit of brightness in the world in your unique way. Your brightness shines.

And then you gain more confidence building to move forward as you’re showered back with love.

That’s one of the best gifts that you can give a stranger and they can give back as you meet more people and get to know them.

…And finally… Yes, I’m getting down to the wire…  it doesn’t hurt to take a few risks, and would probably serve you well.

When you learn something new and put a stake in the game, then you reap rewards. Part of that is in your belief about risk-reward.

This past year, I joined 4 courses and memberships. Two I’m still processing and for the other two I’m seeing the fruit and more clarity already by taking action.

That’s a 50-50 reward.

But had I not joined any of them, I’d still be in a similar “stuck” place. We just never know what will stick and what will go by the wayside.

That’s this life.

I recently learned that the business fraternity chapter I belonged to in college which was a big part of my life at the time and a “lifelong membership,” is ending this year.

I thought the Greek Alphabet classes of new members would keep extending. I had attended school with the Founding class, as I was in the Delta class (the 4^th letter in the Greek Alphabet) and now it’s almost over.

And while that’s news in my life from my younger self-life… in my more recent life where I’ve been mentoring in a professional group, I know that will end one day and will be replaced by another group.

That’s a great place for me now, but like most things, that will end in the perfect time.

And, that’s why it’s best to be proactive in seeking what you want your life to be about rather than just wait and see.

Look for the good things and mask out the ones you don’t want to repeat or that can weigh you down.

Better replaces good.

We know good will happen and better can happen with us. Or another unique or great opportunity replaces that lost good happening, and that can be a lucky surprise.

However, those good happenings land in your lap, and you can focus on more evidence in your life that goodness is out there for you.

And that bit of assured confidence building (rest assured) is helping to build confidence within you, little by little.