Fear and phobia Archives - Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Rumination Is Keeping You Stuck

Rumination is something I know a lot about. It’s a form of overthinking and worry that can come from deep-rooted fears.

Feeling fear is an opportunity for your (subconscious) ego to get a hold of your thoughts and mind.

…That can keep you playing small in your precious life that you’re the star in 🌟and uniquely play out.

Opposing efforts are the ego fears showing up that are the opposite of love. …And loving thoughts and actions.

…So cutting them out is a good personal growth mission.

And that’s not something you would likely have learned in school or in your work life. And actually, probably picked up more ego behaviors along the way than pushed them aside.

But when you get to the bottom of your fears and you’re aware in conscious living in your life journey, that can help you conquer fears.

…That lets you have more love to give. And when you love yourself (first), then that invites in more love you can offer to the world in abundant ways and mindset.

Sometimes you end up going down unproductive storyline rabbit trails that turn into a negative spiral loop. That’s when you want to reset… or else risk staying stuck.

Resetting our minds by taking a walk, getting on a yoga mat, journaling, flipping the script, replacing thoughts, or doing other productive exercises are healthy intentional steps.

Because bad thoughts are usually counterproductive in some way. And negative (unloving) thoughts always hurt.

But taking a few mindful present thought moments can help the reset. When you pause and take a deep breather… you have a small window to make a positive micro shift adjustment in your day.

Because deep breathing in and out sends fresh oxygen to the mind, resets the body, and helps clean out the cobwebs from growing in the soul… 💨

The soul is at the seat of your mind, will (choices), and emotions that are deep within the body.

You can invite in your spirit to help lighten the load.

But not all of us do.

You get to exercise that right (choice).

Taking deep breaths is a good habit, reminder, and first step.

It’s also a natural cure for uncontrollable heart palpitations that can come from anxiety.

If you’re a natural Vata body (Ayurvedic dosha), you know exactly how that feels in you as you’ve lived it throughout your life. And those around you with similar bodies, have too.

And when you do deep breathing exercises like 4-7-8 breathing, counting is even easier than yoga or meditating.

It’s an empowering habit you can do anytime and anywhere.

And that helps to counteract triggered rumination thoughts that appear in your day out of nowhere…

That’s this life… where at any moment when life is in play, anything can happen.

And this article may be useful to add more calm in your life by making aware of your ruminating thoughts occupying daily space.

You can tell them to take a hike and make them go away sooner. 😊

…Because it is up to you!

And that should feel good.

Even if and especially if you’re naturally more of a thinker and you like to analyze situations.

You’re often impacted more by rumination thoughts because you tend to get inside your head.

…It’s not your fault or anyone’s fault for how you were naturally built.

That’s what sets you and I apart from animals and our plant-based world we nicely co-exist with.

And to use our higher and super powers to rule our planet for good, we need healthy mindset practices.

So that for unsettled situations, our minds will search for better answers.

We can bypass the rabbit trails and potential misery.

Because unawareness = unconsciousness… and awareness = consciousness.

And connecting the dots… unconsciousnesss means our subconscious takes the wheel and that’s where the harmful ego can rear its ugly head.

Turning thoughts into incessant rumination that can affect our entire day and outlook beyond.

Until we stop them dead in their tracks.

Because naturally they don’t stop on their own in a cycle.

The ego protection (that you don’t need most the time) wants you to believe in make-believe. And in its harmful destruction, ego wants you to hold onto bad and unloving thoughts… or else something bad will happen.

That’s hardly the truth.

The opposite will happen…

Where losing rumination, you’ll get your healthy day back and bypass your misery.

When I was growing up, we listened to cassette tapes. And sometimes the tapes got stuck in the player, and then would play the same riff over and over again.

…Until we stepped in and did something about it. We had to turn off the tape player temporarily and fix the problem.

The problem was usually that the playing tape got wrapped around wrong. And when we’re aware, we’d take a pen and roll back the tape around until it was back in line inside the cassette… that would be a good thing to do with our triggered thoughts. 💭

And if the cassette was too damaged, then we could do small repairs like cutting the tape out (…remember that? Those were the days 😊).

We’d tape the good parts together and have a new restored tape.

If successfully done, the tape would be missing the cut out music tape parts that never was as noticeably dramatic as we thought.

And that’s how our thoughts can be. If we cut out bad parts, we’re fixing our bad tapes playing repetitive, non-productive rumination messsages in our heads.

Simple fixes and exercises take seconds to restore back to the healthy.

Where changing thoughts is healthy self-help. 🎉

You’re then no longer a prisoner to your thoughts… unless you allow thoughts to take you captive.

No one in this life comes out with perfect thoughts or are unscathed in this life… but the more practice in changing thoughts, the better you get at it.

And the sooner you feel better, the sooner you learn contentment and joy from happiness within that you’re in control of.

…NOT controlled by external daily situations that life serves up.

It’s your loving lens and perceptions that make the difference… and how you will get more outta this life!

Ego is the wildcard we have no control over.

Except when we’re conscious, then we can kick our subconscious (ego) to the curb.

We can turn to LOVE and our self-serving thoughts (positive thoughts).

So now that that’s clear, BE on close guard.

ALWAYS.

Even if you’re busy, don’t let your guard down.

Slow your life down.

And specifically slow your thoughts down.

Pause.

Don’t react.

And practice saying, “let me think (or pray) about that.”

This is language that your ego hates as this doesn’t let you knee-jerk react (or in some cases if we’re honest, act like a jerk).

If you choose love, you won’t mess up.

Always choose love.

That’s always easier. You don’t have to discern or figure out what you should do in life’s many gray areas and situation you’re part of.

If it feels loving and positive, then you know you’re headed in the right direction somehow, even if you’re not certain how.

It doesn’t matter who or where you are! This works with the love from above. And pays off on earth.

Oh, and always remember, you are loved.

Anxiety Is Not The Way

Anxiety has become part of our living on this planet existence. It’s not healthy but it can be reality.

It’s no longer for just those born with the strong trait (ahem, Vatas). 🙋🏻‍♀️

Anxiety is part of our culture’s zeitgeist… and this article is about helping you remove daily anxiety in your life.

Because anxious feelings is not a part of the way you’re intended to live.

…Some stress, yes. But not anxiety.

And you can get out of the anxiety lifestyle in your inner spiritual journey.

…At least that was my story as I developed better discernment in my life as I defined what the Universe meant to me growing into faith… relying less on what I could do and more on what I was made for.

And for one, that led me out of the anxiety work lifestyle (aka corporate work).

…These days you hear so many people leaving their cushy golden-handcuff jobs for more purpose and passion filled work… free of anxious environments that cubicle walls and office hierarchy create in our remote world.

And the pandemic was a radical change disruptor that no one likes to talk about much these days, but started the whole Life pivoting movement.

That’s when today’s anxious culture began…

Anxiety was looming in the air all during the pandemic.

…That affected changes in how we did our daily lives. We experienced job losses and technology changes like AI (making some previous jobs obsolete).

And even now, in the post-pandemic inflation era where the dollar doesn’t stretch as far as it used to.

Everyone has been impacted in some ways.

It’s in the air.

So anxiety is contagious.

…Oh, and then there’s politics.

I grew up and lived in the Washington D.C. metro most my life, so that was front and center for me even though I never ran in those circles, and I choose to talk about it less because I know it creates divides.

But it was always in the air.

And the biggest elephant in the room: climate change. There’s no air in this world that isn’t affected by those two common “c” words….

And climate change has affected every type of business. If you think about cars, home insurance, shipping, and of course… food and farmers, to name a few.

That has made for a tougher and more complicated life in many ways.

Plus, there are so many more daily distractions.

Finding the inner-self becomes much more of a challenge.

I grew up before the internet entered the world so I remember the way it was…

And then social media was born.

But I don’t think social media, television, and streaming devices in and of themselves cause more anxiety.

Because having information available at our phone fingertips can calm anxiety.

…Like, you don’t have to go to the library to research limited information anymore or operate in the dark.

How we used to find our way around town with maps… or meet up with others based on watch time alone was operating under the Stone Ages compared to today.

And everywhere you turn over the past few years, you hear wellness recommendations to turn your devices off or spend less time on social media (like those old days).

So people hop on the social media strike bandwagon..

But how has that helped anxiety?

We don’t seem any better off as a society if you check the stats.

People are still feeling anxious today.

With devices, these days you know what you’re signing up for… you knowingly choose or change your friends and what you want showing up in your feed.

It’s no surprise anymore why you’re getting certain information in your feeds.

So the information we choose to get is what makes the difference.

The enriching information I choose that inspires me is educational, and/or entertaining for me.

I learn something new and what I positively intake, challenges my mind.

I shut off everything else. I’m not tempted by negative garbage that provokes anxiety entering in the mind-body..

…That’s a healthy choice we each get to make..

And like most, I watch shows everyday. I like HGTV and food channels where you can trust that there won’t be something inappropriate shown where you can’t change the channel fast enough.

I share this with you because from my journey, this is how I know the healthy choice is deeper than self-discipline.

For me, it has to do with aligning myself with spiritual purposes and who I want to be and how I want to feel at the end of the day.

And if those ideas inspire you, but your anxious feelings don’t support that, the starting questions you can ask yourself are… What do you want your life to be about? What healthy change in your daily life would make you feel better?

And when you’ve decided on those or similar answers, then you can come up with a matching plan that you’re daily happy with and can stick to with discipline because that’s what you want your life to be about.

Your wants are stronger pulls than being tempted by the garbage-in information… and being aware, you’re no longer interested in heading in that other direction. So from there, you make small tweaks to bring in more healthy influences and eliminate more of the garbage.

One simple goal could be: I want to feel good by the end of the day.

Then, like an invisible string, the healthier ways are drawing you in and your deeper spirit is helping you along in that direction… 🧭 The Universe is watching 😊

And that better ensures you don’t have anxiety the same way you did by the end of the day and when you wake up.

Anxiety For Young People

I had inner struggle with this myself in my 20s and younger where I felt pulled into culture’s definitions of happiness that builds up ego and was growing my pride.

Then I came to a point where I felt so depleted by the end of the day and I wondered why. It was like I needed an internal shower cleansing from all the garbage I had in my mind that mostly came from the external influences surrounding my life.

But gradually I became more content with less wanting of those ways, and that developed a deeper, calmer sense of happiness.

I moved away from mean gossip, judgment, and noisy/busy influences.

Those created unnecessary more fear and anxiety, shutting out calm and peace.

Believing that there’s a better plan or reason for what was happening to me in situations also saved me from anxious moments or the old ways I would have reacted.

If you go to church regularly, you know how it feels on loving Church Sunday. But by work Monday you’re back to the anxious rat race and people.

Letting that Sunday headspace permeate more days, helps to quiet down the negative external influences. Instead of being so heavily influenced, you and I could be the healthy influence to ourselves and others.

“Be the Change.”

It’s the negative chatter and staying busy that can keep us small.

It was like that as kids too…

We would see non-age appropriate footage that created nightmares for years to come.

Think of movies like classics, Mommie Dearest and Jaws, that left scary impressions on a 13 year old or younger mind that doesn’t know the world as well as a 30-year old.

Young brains don’t forget as easily and that can haunt forever in brain storage.

It’s the more mature mind that knows how to file those memories away as not real life. That comes from having more life years and experience.

And that’s what I think is happening to the youth today as they’re in their dark virtual reality worlds where an 80/20 balance deep breath of healthy real life would help.

For any of us, if the environment you’re around 80% of your waking hours are keeping you in the dark, then finding a way out is going to give you the best life you deserve. Just something to think about. 💭

Uncertainty Turned To Joy With Good Habits

Uncertainty can be made certain when you cook dishes you can’t mess up like shakshuka that always tastes great.

A food dish like Shakshuka helps with uncertainty because you're certain it will turn out no matter what it looks like. — Start your day with a healthy morning breakfast like this Shakshuka egg-tomato dish 🍳 And balancing Ayurvedic spices that you can use to help restore your imbalance. Recipe below. ⬇️

Most of life is uncertain. Some days we have some certainty over planned future events and in yesterday’s events.

But we have uncertainty about tomorrow and sometimes what will happen today.

And uncertainty can come with all sorts of flavors and emotions.

Some uncertain days are filled with excitement, so those are double bonus… and are often few and far between over routine days. But that gives us a buffer so we feel the good effects compared to the previous nothing-special happening days.

And on uneventful days, it’s good to be grateful for our own contentment good.

That will get rattled up eventually with the sudden news that changes the direction of our day and possible season.

The way to best handle every situation is to find your joy. And if there is none that a sad or stressful situation can bring, then shed the cleansing tears and find peace. No matter what.

…Because the situation will happen regardless of your misery or staying calm and happy. So why not lean into the healthy positive expressing feelings that your body will reward you for?

Plus, you make more sound decisions that way.

A decision can be as simple as whether to react or not react. Because whatever our actions are, especially when others are involved, there are consequences.

And my best advice for you in uncertainty is if you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything you could regret until you know what to do.

Then bringing this to your awareness, an answer follows at some point. It’s not an automatic response like a knowing that comes with practice and habits and then builds confidence the next time.

Trained professionals know what to do in their specialties, and you know what to do in yours, but not necessarily in theirs.

And when you take an action or make a reaction from a place of peace of wanting to give, then you know you’ve done your best.

So often we take action because someone else has projected the situation onto us and put the burden on our shoulders. It’s our modern protective job (since we’re not running from tigers) to evaluate objectively.

And not always jump on what is asked if the hoops are the wrong ones where we don’t set boundaries. And we end up resentful or bitter about what could have been handled differently.

Give yourself first the chance to think: What are the facts? What do you know about the entire situation that may have a history?

And if we can sleep on the idea over a night or two, then we see how we feel after we think or pray about the idea in peace and meditation which can be starkly different than the knee-jerk reaction. Time and rest allow for wisdom to enter instead of our worry-fear actions.

…Which BTW, this is a great life skill habit to learn and practice.

We’ve all had examples and some practice over the past few years. Our worlds were shaken by the disruptions of the global crises we all experienced on our planet from climate to pandemic.

This led to the greatest uncertainty that may end up being the most in our lifetime.

The toughest unique situations we each had to individually go through may still feel like open wounds. And those are maybe ones we don’t want to think about since we just went through them and are still processing.

BUT, the healthiest thing we can do is to not delay and think about the effects on us this year. We each had trauma of sorts and we want to prevent post-trauma effects that our mind-bodies will cling onto.

The trauma could have been the change in jobs, relationships, losses, lifestyle habits, and where you live, or all of the above. Or that you’re still in those situations. And the bottom line is: there was and is uncertainty.

Positive thoughts and vibes help with trauma and tough seasons.

And on top, there could be fresh wounds mounding on top of older ones.

All of that is part of the adult life. And when you’re super tested during difficult times to take on additional stressors, you can choose to feel like throwing in the towel… or you can look at the upside!

Your tough trials, situations, and setbacks get you ready for what’s on the other side. 🌈

So in the mud, find the hope vision. That could be as simple as recalling the thoughts that when you’re down, there’s nowhere to go but up.

And when you’re feeling Kapha tired, you plow through anyway… not because you feel like doing the work or task, but because you know you’ll feel better after you do. And you’re looking for that victorious after-burn feeling! 😎

It always gets better… and that’s not cliche if you’ve already lived to mid-life.

In the down, you become the resilient person that is needed to appreciate the pot of gold if you fight for your own victory that’s inevitable in your beliefs and if you don’t give up.

So today and every day, find a ray of hope and glimmer. ✨Borrow from nature that hums and runs 24-7 without pause on any part of the globe.

Where I was the year before the pandemic started, was working in close-knit quarters. I was at large-scale annual events where as many as 100,000 global members were invited. And I traveled internationally more frequently than non-existently.

Working in my local offices, I recall appreciating the time I had working remote for years prior in my early 30s. That also made adapting to 2020 life easier.

…Similarly, leaning into your positives in your situations can be your saving grace. Recalling your past that helped you in the tough times and today can make you feel that all will be well. And it will!

…It’s that same knowing from experience, that if you have a bad day, the next ones will be great.

Focus on those optimistic thoughts and look forward to your next steps.

Find your blessings amid uncertainty. Staying in joy is going to help you not lose precious years of productivity.

Maybe look at life as a learning opportunity?

Each year comes with different situations and dreams. And you want to keep your head high and ride the cloud through the stormy and silver linings as though every opportunity is a joy to learn something.

And when you look down, you notice that the ground below you offers a chance to jump on a new landed opportunity and experience.

Make this year a triumph in how you see life and learning… and maybe someone you know needed to hear this that you can pass this on to, especially since we just passed Mental Health Awareness month that’s now part of our every month.

You’re never alone. And life is on your side. 🎉

And one thing you can control is keeping your joy and restoring your balance preferences with your spices.

Shakshuka

You can restore your Vata, Pitta, and Kapha balance with Shakshuka

Course Breakfast

Cuisine lebanese

Author Brandy @ Healthy Happy Life Secrets

Ingredients

eggs
tomato sauce
coriander or cumin (cooling)- Pitta restoring
red pepper (heating) - Kapha restoring
oregano and tarragon - Vata restoring
olive oil

Instructions

Add your tomato sauce and EVOO and leave 3 dips to add your eggs. Cook until sauce is thickened about 10 minutes. Add the spices you want using your nose as to which you want to add. Your preferences will change because your nose knows to balance your Ayurvedic dosha that needs balancing related to your moods (e.g. tired, anger, anxious).
Bake dish at 350°F/180° C with spices about another 10 minutes.
Add spinach that will wilt.

Fear and Phobia Is Not Permanent

fear and phobia

When I was younger I wore contact lenses. For the first few weeks, I had a subconscious fear and phobia, and I struggled to get the soft contact on my eyeball.

When I would try, my eye would blink and my eyelashes would keep the contact out of my eye.

No-contact was what I should have called the daily event that seemed like taking half an hour every day.

Years later, I realized that the reason I couldn’t get the contacts in my eyes was that I had a subconscious fear of the contact (lens) making contact with my eye.

So the blinking was not controlled by me but a body reaction to what my mind was telling my eye (mind-body connection in full swing).

From this puzzling event, I recalled that years before as a child, my eyes would sting when I tried to open them in the pool water.

Some kids could open their eyes completely underwater (I noticed with my underwater goggled protected eyes wide open).

A-ha!… with that, I made the connection to my fear… the goggles acted as eye protection and a contact lens was an intruder like the chlorinated pool water, at least in my subconscious mind (that does most of the thinking).

Knowing that insight, allowed problem-solving consciousness to emerge.

With daily practice, I consistently calmed my mind disabling my protective shell in my brain and re-writing the new story narrative to my fear and phobia that had the bold headline: “contacts are safe.”

Then that mind message was reinforced daily as I went to a 20/20 daily vision world from a framed eyeglass world.

Those subconscious positive reinforcing thoughts cut down the time to insert a contact within seconds.

Wouldn’t that be great if we could reprogram our negative thinking minds in nanoseconds?

Making visible, hidden fears through your actions

Inserting contact lenses can be a frustrating experience for many in the beginning (like it was for me).

Similarly, for so many other starting out defeats, a hidden fear or phobia can be preventing the outcome from happening.

There’s a deeper root cause for your fears.

When you can find the reasons and ways to reprogram your subconscious mind, then you can get over your fear and phobia.

Insecurity is one of those subconscious fears that can show up regularly with a knee-jerk reaction from a fear-based thought.

Another is jealousy or criticism especially if you’ve been wounded or have reason to doubt.

And these get worse if you’re Vata imbalanced. If you’re naturally Vata dominant, anxiety is your natural way that can trigger fear.

Any non-loving thought is fear-based because it comes from the brain’s ego, and if left unattended, can spin wildly out of control.

We can rewrite those subconscious fear thoughts and shadow work can be the way.

Also, others can notice from the words, actions, and reactions that happen, but the person with the ego is often blind…

It’s natural and invisible to the person unless they witness and catch the self-defeating and manipulating thoughts.

So that’s why we all have to be careful and stay aware of our own egos.

At any weak moment, a humble spirit can turn into a prideful act.

The simple act of someone cutting you off on the road can change your calm state to a riled-up one. And that can show up in a myriad of undesirable outward expressions that are unhelpful to everyone involved.

Getting off your chest is healthy and productive after you have a chance to cool down in self-control and you have calmly thought about potential solutions.

Then when you are tested, or you’re cut off the road, you get to decide which road to take.

Choosing the higher road means letting go and that can seem weak to the ego-mind, but self-control is empowered strength.

If you’re conflicted or when you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything yet. Review so you can learn and have discernment next time.

Remember that tidbit of wisdom next time when you hesitate.

Because you can be certain you will be reminded again until the lesson is learned. Life is patient with us.

How To Change Your Deep Rooted Fear and Phobia

Fear and phobia is rooted in the small places we can operate from in limitation and sometimes ugliness.

We all can act saintly-kind if we choose, and the act allows good sides to birth. Love serves all.

With practice over time, ideally, we can even learn to let undesired “meant to protect you” entering thoughts just pass through without putting energy into them.

We don’t have to accept our thoughts as current truth such as an isolated traumatic experience.

We can just reject those non-helpful thoughts that don’t apply to our current situation and send them back to where they came from.

And we can connect the dots to our self-awareness for the next time. We can recognize our self-destructive patterns and question them.

Because when you realize and accept every thought isn’t yours, that’s when you can learn how to optimize and transform your life if you decide.

Maybe you do realize, but you haven’t accepted yet. Because to accept means you give up a part of your control.

Say Goodbye to Your Past Fear and Phobia!

Before my younger contact lens years, I had fear and phobia about the dark, lightning, thunder, and the deep waters just to name a few things.

They came from news stories I heard, scary movies I watched, and almost physically drowning in my backyard lake at 9 years old.

But first I had to get calm and lose the worry.

I conquered the drowning fear eventually by learning how to swim.

When you lose your deep fear, any surface panicking fear and phobia, you can learn to float as you become light and buoyant. And if you can float either on your back or your front, you can learn to swim and save yourself.

That summer I was able to enroll in swim lessons but didn’t successfully learn how to float.

Then one day I was in the shallow end of a neighborhood pool, and I was calm and tried to float. Something clicked and I learned how to float on my belly and my back in the pool water.

It wasn’t pretty as I just laid there like a piece of driftwood letting my feet slowly float from the bottom of the pool.

But that day gave me confidence as I repeated floating again and again until I unintentionally could convince and remind myself (and my mind) that I knew how to float.

Fast forward to my young adulthood… most of my childhood phobias had disappeared or I had learned to swim out of them.

I still had fear and worry about so many real-life situations.

One was I had learned to grow scared of sharing.

I didn’t grow in share vulnerability times so that re-enforced my being a private person.

Writing blog posts like this and sharing on the internet was not something I would have ever done back then.

But instead of letting the fear get to me and grow in me, I slowly one-small step at a time turned those moves into action and transformation.

Since I faced my fear, I got over the hump to the other side and then I could replace my old fears.

But I learned to lean on faith to gradually change my Vata ways and worried thinking.

When I had the realization opportunity to cross the bridge into knowing there’s a divine source inside you decades later, there was an exchange into believing in more than my ability only.

There was new weightlessness like the thick clouds had lifted. I wasn’t the sole source for my success and I stopped believing in luck as coincidence without meaning.

I became a Believer that applied deeper insight to life, which did the heavy lifting to transform fear. In faith you know there’s another better life coming.

…What if this life were just a test?

And if you’re still wondering what this life is about, testing the waters in your quiet, thoughtful life is a good way to discover. What if there was more, and you were missing out?

This is an individual question, but when you seek, you will find.

“You become what you think about all day long.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

How Faith Can Play a Solution Role

To take one step further, gaining faith can transform your beliefs and mental health, and especially if you have an anxiety disorder or a traumatic stress disorder.

When you believe that all things are possible in a larger context, then you can believe that fear is beyond you and your power.

Fear can feel like an uncontrollable problem. If you can problem-solve with from within then you have a powerful way.

Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking was a classic book published in the 1950s.

He was a motivational thinker so ahead of his time because he was already suggesting meditation and mind-body correlation in his works.

There’s a 10-step practical process in the book’s chapter “Power to Solve Personal Problems.”

It includes: believe for every problem there is an answer, pray about your problems, trust in your insight and intuition, and do creative spiritual thinking for amazing power answers.

If Mr. Peale were still alive today, he would be a great forward-thinking influencer with much to say.